Class of July 2009
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Join Date: Aug 2009
Location: Osaka Japan
Posts: 55
7 Weeks for me
Hey Guys...Been away for a while. Glad to see everyone is doing well.
Yesterday (In Japan) was 7 weeks for me and I am feeling good. I believe I'm going thru a paradigm shift. I remember when 7 weeks seemed like a long long time...almost impossible. But just recently I have been thinking that it is actually a very short time in the grand scheme of things. I also went to see an action movie, Pelham 123. In the past I couldn't understand how people (the main character) could go thru so much emotional turmoil and not absolutely need a drink afterwards. Now I feel it. I "get" it. Just go home and go to sleep.
Hey TB...Congrats on the two weeks. Just take it one day at a time. Question for you? You are a music person correct? Me too. I produced 3 albums and released two. In the past I felt like music was a mainstay in my life, but this sober stint I have decided to avoid music because it is such an emotional entertainment medium. When I listen to music I tend to reminisce and most all of my memories involved using. In other words, I found music to be a trigger for me. (I also heard this from an SA forum that I monitor thru *****.) How about you?
I know I can't give it up forever, so my plan is to listen to music that I have never listened to before, after 90days, when we have fully ingrained new habits into our subconscious. Drinking is mostly a habit that we are trying to change. At that point I will wire some new "sober" memories for me to reminisce to in the future. What do you think about that?
Very Good information about creating new habits here: http://www.eruptingmind.com/forming-...-successfully/
An internet question to all. Have you guys tried out the new Google Chrome Browser? I'm on it now and it is really a smooth ride.
Yeahgr8, least, and DJ1...keep up the good work.
Glad to see everyone Getting busy living!
Yesterday (In Japan) was 7 weeks for me and I am feeling good. I believe I'm going thru a paradigm shift. I remember when 7 weeks seemed like a long long time...almost impossible. But just recently I have been thinking that it is actually a very short time in the grand scheme of things. I also went to see an action movie, Pelham 123. In the past I couldn't understand how people (the main character) could go thru so much emotional turmoil and not absolutely need a drink afterwards. Now I feel it. I "get" it. Just go home and go to sleep.
Hey TB...Congrats on the two weeks. Just take it one day at a time. Question for you? You are a music person correct? Me too. I produced 3 albums and released two. In the past I felt like music was a mainstay in my life, but this sober stint I have decided to avoid music because it is such an emotional entertainment medium. When I listen to music I tend to reminisce and most all of my memories involved using. In other words, I found music to be a trigger for me. (I also heard this from an SA forum that I monitor thru *****.) How about you?
I know I can't give it up forever, so my plan is to listen to music that I have never listened to before, after 90days, when we have fully ingrained new habits into our subconscious. Drinking is mostly a habit that we are trying to change. At that point I will wire some new "sober" memories for me to reminisce to in the future. What do you think about that?
Very Good information about creating new habits here: http://www.eruptingmind.com/forming-...-successfully/
An internet question to all. Have you guys tried out the new Google Chrome Browser? I'm on it now and it is really a smooth ride.
Yeahgr8, least, and DJ1...keep up the good work.
Glad to see everyone Getting busy living!
Last edited by MrOsaka; 09-14-2009 at 02:35 AM.
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Join Date: Aug 2009
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Originally Posted by MrOsaka 
In the past I couldn't understand how people (the main character) could go thru so much emotional turmoil and not absolutely need a drink afterwards. Now I feel it. I got it. Just go home and go to sleep.
Yeah, music.
Actually, I've been listening to a playlist I made full of songs to motivate me, amuse me, and a few that remind me of the bad side of drinking, and missing any that either glamorize drinking or carry memories for me--any memories. I'm far too emotionally erratic to risk even a pleasant memory. A lot of the songs are new, to prevent the memory thing--and I realize I may be making new memories in doing so. The first run-through I had to take off a few more songs, songs I never suspected would take my mind that way. And others you might expect to trigger the urge to get intoxicated, don't--Dead Flowers is one. ???
It is what it is--I couldn't survive here without music. The audio track of the dorms most nights is basically people talking about getting alcohol, loud people outside, and loud people in my kitchen teaching each other drinking games. Or, alternatively, dead silence--and loneliness is a trigger of mine.
It seems to be working for me, although I think the logic in your proposal is sound. There's always at least two ways to get something done...
As far as the Chrome question, if this Mozilla freezes one more time, I might just try it.
Yeahgr8, DJ, hi.
Oh, and I got 16 days now.
Just walking forward in a sort of stumbling way... it's getting a lot easier, but still not smooth. Starting to see some advantages to this besides waking up and feeling good and saving money--which I go and spend on things anyways, like car insurance. 
Now I'm paying more attention to what people go through in the first few months, so I guess I'm settling in for the winter...
Take care, July,
-TB
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Nice one TB.
One thing with reference to your other post about the AA folk telling old war stories and competing with each other who has had the hardest drinking career, you are spot on with what you thought!
These are called drunkalogues...in the absence of a newcomer, almost every sober person i know in AA will not be talking about their drinking days but how they are living their life and how they are working the program. You are right why preach to the choir...jeez we have years of experience of how to get pissed we want to know how to live sober lol
Sounds like some in your group are living in the problem when they should be living in the solution...used an AA saying there hehe
One thing with reference to your other post about the AA folk telling old war stories and competing with each other who has had the hardest drinking career, you are spot on with what you thought!
These are called drunkalogues...in the absence of a newcomer, almost every sober person i know in AA will not be talking about their drinking days but how they are living their life and how they are working the program. You are right why preach to the choir...jeez we have years of experience of how to get pissed we want to know how to live sober lol
Sounds like some in your group are living in the problem when they should be living in the solution...used an AA saying there hehe
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Went to job interview this morning, didn't really want a job but hey! So bought a new suit yesterday, man i looked goood today...it was almost like being 10 years younger before the downhill slide...forgot how much i love wearing a suit!
Went well, let's see!
Went well, let's see!
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just got offered the job got to go in tomorrow to sort out paperwork then officially start on monday! hmmm...spose it will be ok, need to earn some money i guess!!!!
TB you at college?! Isn't that better than work?
Man ill have to get to office at 9am every morning, still at least it is only 5 mins walk away i guess!!!
TB you at college?! Isn't that better than work?
Man ill have to get to office at 9am every morning, still at least it is only 5 mins walk away i guess!!!
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Join Date: Jul 2009
Location: fl
Posts: 246
yeahgr that made me LOL this morning, about your new job congrats after a while you will love being back at work as long it something you enjoy doing!
Meeting new people being productive a big congrats & good luck to you
down side
you’ll have to make time for the Gym pool & don’t forget to make time for the tan
TB well done keep up the fight it aint easy but they say it will get easier !
I agree music is a big comfort & motivator motivates me to get through my run every day.
Well not much happening just working on me day by day, the hubby front is still not
good not sure it ever will be after I have worked on me I'll make some big decisions!!
when I read TB's posts takes me back thinking I wish I had all those years over again to make better choices & alcohol free,
some days I shudder at some of the hazy years & the lack of memories because I was too drunk & now cant & don’t want to remember.
Well I’m signing out working in the office all day YUK
Hope everyone has a happy sober day xxx
Meeting new people being productive a big congrats & good luck to you
down side you’ll have to make time for the Gym pool & don’t forget to make time for the tan
TB well done keep up the fight it aint easy but they say it will get easier !
I agree music is a big comfort & motivator motivates me to get through my run every day.
Well not much happening just working on me day by day, the hubby front is still not
good not sure it ever will be after I have worked on me I'll make some big decisions!!
when I read TB's posts takes me back thinking I wish I had all those years over again to make better choices & alcohol free,
some days I shudder at some of the hazy years & the lack of memories because I was too drunk & now cant & don’t want to remember.
Well I’m signing out working in the office all day YUK
Hope everyone has a happy sober day xxx
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1st day today but i have got tomorrow off, ill need it;-)
hmmm waking up by alarm clock...its been a year since ive had to do that! i wonder if they will mind me working outside so i can smoke?
Thanks DJ for the comments i am quite excited and very grateful to have the job, no way that i would have gone for interview with them having several interviews planned for next monday in a different country and then get offered the job 2 hours later without being sober!!!!!!!
out into the big wide world again...lets see how i do this time hehehe
suppose i can always go postal if it doesn't work out...comforting thought!
hmmm waking up by alarm clock...its been a year since ive had to do that! i wonder if they will mind me working outside so i can smoke?
Thanks DJ for the comments i am quite excited and very grateful to have the job, no way that i would have gone for interview with them having several interviews planned for next monday in a different country and then get offered the job 2 hours later without being sober!!!!!!!
out into the big wide world again...lets see how i do this time hehehe
suppose i can always go postal if it doesn't work out...comforting thought!
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Join Date: Aug 2009
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Yeahgr8,
"i wonder if they will mind me working outside": I'm moving to Spain. My mind's made up. I just wanna be able to *say* that question, and think a possible answer might be "no."
Meanwhile, back at the ranch, I'm at a state school in a state with no sense of fiscal responsibility. My income has dropped by 30k, although I grew up much poorer than I am now, and therefore I have some skills in both money management and making do... but still. What happened to me over the summer as the state couldn't get it's budget passed and they didn't hand out the checks on time, that was not cool. I ended up spending almost 3k to fix all the bills I owed over the summer--if I had had a third of that in hand at the beginning of the summer, I'd have $500 to spend on... something.
It's not so much the working/not working, 'cause ideally, school might be better. But when school is the cause of most of your financial stress, it's not so fun. I'd rather the semi-stability of a paycheck these days. It makes me nervous, being dependent on a state government that usually cuts school funding first.
Thanks DJ. Yeah, better choices... I can think of a few. And a whole lot of days and nights I wish I didn't remember/ don't remember at all.
What I did to myself...
But, I drank for 20 years and now I got 20 days straight.
I think I'm gonna name September 16 Cupcake Day, to add to my personal calendar of odd holidays. A few years down the line, when I'm somewhere friendlier, I will still celebrate this day, and with people who have no idea why. That makes me happy.
-TB, still actually pulling this off.
"i wonder if they will mind me working outside": I'm moving to Spain. My mind's made up. I just wanna be able to *say* that question, and think a possible answer might be "no."
Meanwhile, back at the ranch, I'm at a state school in a state with no sense of fiscal responsibility. My income has dropped by 30k, although I grew up much poorer than I am now, and therefore I have some skills in both money management and making do... but still. What happened to me over the summer as the state couldn't get it's budget passed and they didn't hand out the checks on time, that was not cool. I ended up spending almost 3k to fix all the bills I owed over the summer--if I had had a third of that in hand at the beginning of the summer, I'd have $500 to spend on... something.
It's not so much the working/not working, 'cause ideally, school might be better. But when school is the cause of most of your financial stress, it's not so fun. I'd rather the semi-stability of a paycheck these days. It makes me nervous, being dependent on a state government that usually cuts school funding first.
Thanks DJ. Yeah, better choices... I can think of a few. And a whole lot of days and nights I wish I didn't remember/ don't remember at all.
What I did to myself...
But, I drank for 20 years and now I got 20 days straight.
I think I'm gonna name September 16 Cupcake Day, to add to my personal calendar of odd holidays. A few years down the line, when I'm somewhere friendlier, I will still celebrate this day, and with people who have no idea why. That makes me happy.
-TB, still actually pulling this off.
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Well i am on my lunch break and my job sucks, i am not allowed to go out too often and smoke and they want me in at 9am and the leave at 5.30pm wtf!!!!!!!!!!!
I will get into a routine...and stick it out for a year, cos i am in early recovery and i will make that committment...i seriously think i need to set up my own business then i can smoke as much as i want...mind you i dont think its even the smoking its just the fact i have to be there...AND they keep talking to me lol
I suppose i should feel lucky i am not on a scarficial alter waiting to be disembowled maybe that will get me through the day...although....
seriously though i am grateful to be sober and well done on your 20 days TB...
and they put me in charge btw...unbelievable?!
I will get into a routine...and stick it out for a year, cos i am in early recovery and i will make that committment...i seriously think i need to set up my own business then i can smoke as much as i want...mind you i dont think its even the smoking its just the fact i have to be there...AND they keep talking to me lol
I suppose i should feel lucky i am not on a scarficial alter waiting to be disembowled maybe that will get me through the day...although....
seriously though i am grateful to be sober and well done on your 20 days TB...
and they put me in charge btw...unbelievable?!
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Join Date: Aug 2009
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Hey guys, sorry I haven't been around. Am still sober, now 7 weeks and 3 days, and am feeling like a totally different person. I am amazed that I have managed to avoid that first drink for so long. AA is working so well for me, and I don't think about the drink for most of the days. Maybe twice a week or so I get a little wobble when my head says I would like a drink but its then that I get on the phone to someone in AA and make myself remember how terrible my life was before I stopped drinking. I never thought I would find the serenity that I have since I got rid of the drink. Life is just really chilled.
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Wow!!! I went to see my counselor and had coffee with my sponsor this week as usual. I spoke with my counselor yesterday about the job i had taken. I told him that i worked all day Thursday and did not eat all day, and did not go to the gym...he looked at me with real concern and said what doees that remind you of? I said when i was drinking i never used to eat during the day at work and never went to the gym...hmmm! ****!
Anyways we talked about going in with a different attitude and his final words on the subject of work were either this will make you stronger and you will come out the other side with more resources and on a stronger path or it will make you relapse...that's scary and i have taken it very seriously.
I am going to go in this week with a new attitude and if i don't get better and am not able to manage my time better i am going to leave the job and do something completely different for less money.
It's the same job i have always had and he was saying that you don't want to be there as it is reminding you of past behaviour, you have stepped out of your comfort zone and the shadow of your old behaviour has crept up beside you and you want to run...how true his word were...
So action...get up early and hit the gym before work, take in a sandwich for lunch, start actuallly filling the day with work instead of thinking how to fill the day doing mindless tasks...leave the work at work...
He also said your job is just that a means to an end, to get some money so you can enjoy your sobriety and work on your recovery stop taking in the resources you have outside into work, stop comparing like why am i feeling like i dont want to be here when at home, down gym, for coffees, at AA i dont feel like this...it is just a job and if you leave or lose it you get another one...
I would be ****** without the program of AA at this point and i know it, if i hadn'tt done the steps and taken a good look at myself and done the work on myself i would not have a clue what is going on all i would have is a bunch of fear, resentment, anger and we know where that would lead...
I love my counselor, he is CBT based but works alongside AA program with his suggestions, tell you how good he is...i have one more amend to make and my sponsor (23 yrs sober and proper sobriety) even said check this one out, with regard of how to say, it with your counselor and he doesn't even like counselors!!!
i am a very lucky boy:-)
BTW I am trying to stop posting in other threads on SR, has anyone else noticed that it is becoming same **** different thread...just going to post for very newcomers from now...and here of course:-)
Anyways we talked about going in with a different attitude and his final words on the subject of work were either this will make you stronger and you will come out the other side with more resources and on a stronger path or it will make you relapse...that's scary and i have taken it very seriously.
I am going to go in this week with a new attitude and if i don't get better and am not able to manage my time better i am going to leave the job and do something completely different for less money.
It's the same job i have always had and he was saying that you don't want to be there as it is reminding you of past behaviour, you have stepped out of your comfort zone and the shadow of your old behaviour has crept up beside you and you want to run...how true his word were...
So action...get up early and hit the gym before work, take in a sandwich for lunch, start actuallly filling the day with work instead of thinking how to fill the day doing mindless tasks...leave the work at work...
He also said your job is just that a means to an end, to get some money so you can enjoy your sobriety and work on your recovery stop taking in the resources you have outside into work, stop comparing like why am i feeling like i dont want to be here when at home, down gym, for coffees, at AA i dont feel like this...it is just a job and if you leave or lose it you get another one...
I would be ****** without the program of AA at this point and i know it, if i hadn'tt done the steps and taken a good look at myself and done the work on myself i would not have a clue what is going on all i would have is a bunch of fear, resentment, anger and we know where that would lead...
I love my counselor, he is CBT based but works alongside AA program with his suggestions, tell you how good he is...i have one more amend to make and my sponsor (23 yrs sober and proper sobriety) even said check this one out, with regard of how to say, it with your counselor and he doesn't even like counselors!!!
i am a very lucky boy:-)
BTW I am trying to stop posting in other threads on SR, has anyone else noticed that it is becoming same **** different thread...just going to post for very newcomers from now...and here of course:-)
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Join Date: Aug 2009
Location: Osaka Japan
Posts: 55
8 weeks today...1/6 of a year. Wow! I'm happy. Had a few skirmishes with the girlfriend this week, but didn't think of drinking. Actually felt like either way, relationship or no, I would be ok. This is the first time for that. We are good now. Going back to my hometown in Nov. Big Step. Lots of crap back there. Hope you guys have a great one!
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1/6 of a year. Impressive. Actually, what I liked out of your post was "Actually felt like either way, relationship or no, I would be ok."
That's where I wanna be...
Obviously, I'm not in a relationship, but it's the thought process behind that statement that touches me. That's a stability that you can take to the bank... at least maybe in Japan. Here in Cali, our banks change names every other week.
That's where I wanna be...
Obviously, I'm not in a relationship, but it's the thought process behind that statement that touches me. That's a stability that you can take to the bank... at least maybe in Japan. Here in Cali, our banks change names every other week.
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How is everyone?
Man i read that old drunk HasselHoff spouting his **** again...apparently, according to the voice of addiction, relapse is part of recovery...what a load of crap! Need some fellow addcits talking sense in the media...oh dear lol
Man this working thing, i am getting up at 7.30am to get there, leaving at 5.30pm going straight to the gym, hour of cardio then meeting, then coffee and just about to have a dinner at 9.30pm...certainly keeping me busy hehe it's ok though, just there to bring home some bucks at the end of the day:-)
Man i read that old drunk HasselHoff spouting his **** again...apparently, according to the voice of addiction, relapse is part of recovery...what a load of crap! Need some fellow addcits talking sense in the media...oh dear lol
Man this working thing, i am getting up at 7.30am to get there, leaving at 5.30pm going straight to the gym, hour of cardio then meeting, then coffee and just about to have a dinner at 9.30pm...certainly keeping me busy hehe it's ok though, just there to bring home some bucks at the end of the day:-)
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Lol i got laid off today! They said that someone of my position should be in the office more, insinuating that i should be working 12 hours a day and not just 8 even though i only get paid for 8!!! Oh well lesson learned...what the hell was i working for a betting company anyway?!
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60 Days Sober...
Yeahgr8...Sounds like a blessing in disguise. Hope you find another gig in the near future.
Thirtybubba...thanks for the comment. I read that 92 banks have gone bankrupt in The States this year. Amazing.
Today is 60 days for me. Proud of myself and feeling like I'm past the high of not being high. Still going to pray and marking the calendar everyday. Staying busy...writing a business plan. "Met the parents" a couple of days ago. Confirmed something I've been thinking for a while...My girlfriend is a terrible messenger. Her parents actually asked me to learn more Japanese so we can communicate directly. That took a load off. I thought they didn't like me. Socializing more, but still haven't exposed myself to an environment with alcohol. My friends seem to understand this time. No offers. No tempting. Started looking at the drinks that I used to consume when I'm in the store. You know...facing those demons down. Funny thing is...now when I think about taking a drink, all I remember is the day after and how crappy I used to feel. Before this sober stint, all I would remember were the good feelings. Until I did it again and felt miserable.
Well, Hope you guys are doing well. Thanks as always.
Thirtybubba...thanks for the comment. I read that 92 banks have gone bankrupt in The States this year. Amazing.
Today is 60 days for me. Proud of myself and feeling like I'm past the high of not being high. Still going to pray and marking the calendar everyday. Staying busy...writing a business plan. "Met the parents" a couple of days ago. Confirmed something I've been thinking for a while...My girlfriend is a terrible messenger. Her parents actually asked me to learn more Japanese so we can communicate directly. That took a load off. I thought they didn't like me. Socializing more, but still haven't exposed myself to an environment with alcohol. My friends seem to understand this time. No offers. No tempting. Started looking at the drinks that I used to consume when I'm in the store. You know...facing those demons down. Funny thing is...now when I think about taking a drink, all I remember is the day after and how crappy I used to feel. Before this sober stint, all I would remember were the good feelings. Until I did it again and felt miserable.
Well, Hope you guys are doing well. Thanks as always.
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