tobefree4me

Haven't been able to post much lately, but I'm checkin':bounce in and still on the bus!
Day 20?

lostbutterfly

Good 4 u! I am giving up these pills tomorrow - again! I just feel blocked off from life - the good stuff and the bad. I feel better now I have decided that.

Ananda

good for you lostbutter....I've heard that one just leads to the other over time.

Thanks for being honest and lean on what you have learned from your expereinces and the expereinces of others
:ghug3

timzup

Get in LB !!!
Never give up on giving up!

mtnmagic

Just found this thread this morning. An example of how really dazed and confused I have been for over a week now, lol. Checking in as a member of the class of October 2008.

I got through both my days off sober. (Monday and Tuesday) and that is a very big deal. I haven't been able to do that in a long, long time.

What is working for me may seem pretty drastic, but it is working and I'm not going to change it. I have gone to a meeting every day since day one. I go to a noon meeting and then go directly to work. I start at 2:00pm. I asked 2 women to be my temporary sponsors on day one and I call them every day, even when I don't want to. I'm going to maintain this for as long as I need to. It is keeping me sober 24 hours at a time.

I don't want to go back out there, I just don't think I'll make it back if I do.
I'm terrified to drink again. Ah well, some of us are sicker then others. It is working though. I have 10 days.

tobefree4me

Way to go Lost! I'm with you magic, drinking scares me too and I'm glad! It has helped me so far.

lostbutterfly

No pills and no drink for me today, and that's fine. Had a good day, although the kids are kind of whiney and it could all go downhill any moment!............OK, one of them is crying now, down the hill we go!! Thank God it's Friday!!!!!!!!!!!

TryingSoHard

Way to go, LB! *hugs* Today starts 5 days of single parenthood for me as my husband is out of town for graduate school - and he took my laptop! Grrrr LOL

In all honesty, these 5 days will be a good test for me. No one to monitor me? No one for me to be accountable to? I have to admit that it's tempting. But I've been doing really well and I don't want to screw it up. I've been doing a lot of thinking, too, about what EXACTLY do I think I "miss" about drinking, and I'm having trouble coming up with answers. I don't miss the hangovers. I don't miss feeling sick to my stomach for a solid 24 hours after I wake up. I don't miss passing out drunk. I don't miss blackouts. I don't miss puking! I don't miss UDIs (unidentified drinking injuries!). I don't miss gaining weight from all of those empty calories. I don't miss knowing that I'm damaging my body and endangering my health. I definitely do not miss waking up the next day to read my texts and online posts to see exactly what I said to whom and figuring out how embarrassed I need to be!!

I guess it boils down to missing the buzz, missing the rush, missing that first feeling of "Ahhhhhhh" and feeling like nothing matters and all is "good".

But those feelings are brief and fleeing, and aren't representative of reality. And they result in all of those other things that I DO NOT MISS and are not good for me.

In short, it's just not worth it.

Day 24 in progress.

lostbutterfly

Yes, it's a high price to pay for the first AHHHHHHHHHHH!!! The first glass was always the best. When I used to smoke, the first drag was always the best. If only we knew how to stop there, hey?

Brian

This is day two for me and wanted to join the class. I've never done the quote thing before (if its not up there i tried) but TryingSoHard you freakin nailed me. Waking up to read my texts or who I called, UDIs , all of it. Will definetly never miss that stuff. For me it got to the point where I couldn't remember hardly anything.

Anyway thanks all.

tobefree4me

Welcome to SR Brian. Congrats on 2 days sober ! Lots of great people here. It has helped me ALOT. oh, and.... October Class Rocks!:bounce

mtnmagic

Made it through another day. Tomorrow will be day 12. This amazes me. It has been a long time since I was able to go 12 days without drinking. I really think the key for me is that surrender. Plus doing a meeting a day, working with sponsors and putting myself out there by sharing on this board, rather just lurking and reading here trying to get by.

Thanks for being here.

lostbutterfly

Well done mtn, I think surrender has been the key for me too. I had done it with alcohol, but I hadn't done it with the pills till this last relapse. Now I know I really am powerless over them, they can talk me into anything.

Day 2 and feeling glad!!

timzup

Keep it up you guys, you never know what's round the corner.

Few days back a buddy of mine who has a haulage company called me up. Needed a temp driver for 3am starts. Under normal circumstances it would have been out of the question because I would still have been way over the limit to drive. Also, helps prevent the temptation of picking up the first beer the night before. As you guys put it, too much to lose for that first, "aaaaahhhhh...."

mtnmagic

Well it's day 13. I've almost made two weeks. I'm feeling better
and I have hope today.

Hope

This class is going strong! I see a lot of strength and hope here from everyone on this thread. Keep it up you guys! I am here pulling for all of you!

3 weeks sober for me today! It's been a rough week but I am continuing forward and facing life head on instead of running from it.

lostbutterfly

Day 3 = done and dusted.

Hope

I'm glad that you are trying again, LB!
Hang in there!

Hope

Even now at 3 weeks, I am tired all of the time. I wonder if this will ever end for me.

mtnmagic

I understand that tired feeling Hope. These days when I get off work I'm exhausted. Still not sleeping real well though. I guess I feel so tired, because my constant numbness appears to be wearing off. Also living sober
each day is very stressful for me because it is so different. It's a good stress, I guess...but it is very tiring.

Oh well, better tired then hungover, eh?