Class of August 2021 Support Thread Part 6
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Join Date: May 2018
Location: Where I’ve longed to be all my life…..here, now.
Posts: 7,394
Thanks, LHW.
I guess after I resent a message on the app entitled “No Response” and reiterated my issues and said since I hadn’t hear from any staff on Monday (I sent the message afternoon on Tuesday), the dr called My husband saying she didn’t have my number and wanted to know how I was doing. Ummm, isnt it all in the medical records?
It is feeling better, it still hurts and send zingers. Riding the waves 😐
I guess after I resent a message on the app entitled “No Response” and reiterated my issues and said since I hadn’t hear from any staff on Monday (I sent the message afternoon on Tuesday), the dr called My husband saying she didn’t have my number and wanted to know how I was doing. Ummm, isnt it all in the medical records?
It is feeling better, it still hurts and send zingers. Riding the waves 😐
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Join Date: Nov 2020
Posts: 517
Thanks all for the kind words. It’s still all very fresh but each day gets a little easier. The surgery went well yesterday and my
body is well on its way to recovery. I’m looking forward to getting back into my workout routine.
I have off from work until Wednesday which is a blessing, but also a curse. I’m planning on leaning into recovery dharma for more support as these feelings I’m having worry me a bit with drinking. Although I’m looking at my past 2 slips which included a bunch of time off and I drank towards the end of both trips. I know this is a lot different but it’s also a good clue that I should be extra careful on the tail end of long periods off from work.
Right now I don’t feel like drinking or using weed/cbd in fact both of those things make me feel disgusted when I think about them so that’s good.
Tomorrow I plan on cleaning in the morning and going for a nice long walk with my parents and pup.
Going through this sober has honestly made it so much easier to keep going and heal. Last time it was awful!
Hope your hand feels better Free!
body is well on its way to recovery. I’m looking forward to getting back into my workout routine.
I have off from work until Wednesday which is a blessing, but also a curse. I’m planning on leaning into recovery dharma for more support as these feelings I’m having worry me a bit with drinking. Although I’m looking at my past 2 slips which included a bunch of time off and I drank towards the end of both trips. I know this is a lot different but it’s also a good clue that I should be extra careful on the tail end of long periods off from work.
Right now I don’t feel like drinking or using weed/cbd in fact both of those things make me feel disgusted when I think about them so that’s good.
Tomorrow I plan on cleaning in the morning and going for a nice long walk with my parents and pup.
Going through this sober has honestly made it so much easier to keep going and heal. Last time it was awful!
Hope your hand feels better Free!
s 
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Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: New England
Posts: 4,494
SS- I 100% echo your 200-day post. The balance and PEACE have been life-changing for me. I finally feel like a sane person just living a normal life- no drama, just ups and downs like everyone- I deal with them, celebrate the good stuff and move on. I honestly have never gotten this far before without "slips" here and there- so I had no idea this feeling was possible and each day I'm more grateful. 7 months tomorrow- this past month just breezed right by.
I got an "Are you still not drinking?" text from a friend the other day and reflexively responded, "I don't drink."
It turned out she was asking so she would have "a reason not to drink" when we went out. LOL. I wonder what her username will be when she joins us here one day?
I got an "Are you still not drinking?" text from a friend the other day and reflexively responded, "I don't drink."
It turned out she was asking so she would have "a reason not to drink" when we went out. LOL. I wonder what her username will be when she joins us here one day?
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Join Date: May 2018
Location: Where I’ve longed to be all my life…..here, now.
Posts: 7,394
Thanks for checking in Bodhi. Continued healing to you in many ways.
Viking, yes, it’s freeing! Your text reminded me to update the class on K and J, my husbands ‘friends’ from September. We left early because I was so uncomfortable.
Nary a word about saint late wife, and not ONE comment about my choices in drink. Had a good talk with hubby before they came, and he said he would have a talk with them, not leave me alone with them, etc. I asked him not to, and that I’ll take care of my boundaries.
Dr Free and I touched on me not drinking, and he admitted he had been worried about my consumption.
We fool no one but ourselves while actively engaging in our Poison of Choice (POC).
Good job, everyone!
I love this class!
Viking, yes, it’s freeing! Your text reminded me to update the class on K and J, my husbands ‘friends’ from September. We left early because I was so uncomfortable.
Nary a word about saint late wife, and not ONE comment about my choices in drink. Had a good talk with hubby before they came, and he said he would have a talk with them, not leave me alone with them, etc. I asked him not to, and that I’ll take care of my boundaries.
Dr Free and I touched on me not drinking, and he admitted he had been worried about my consumption.
We fool no one but ourselves while actively engaging in our Poison of Choice (POC).
Good job, everyone!
I love this class!
Member
Join Date: Nov 2020
Posts: 517
Here’s something interesting that came up yesterday. One of my college friends organizes a camping trip every summer and lots of drinking occurs. I haven’t gone in over a year because it’s just a sloppy mess and would be an awful time for me. Anyways I get a text from a friend asking if I was going and I said I hadn’t heard anything about it. So the friend who organizes it texts me and was like I didn’t include you in the invite because I wouldn’t think you’d want to be around all the debauchery but you’re invited. I replied back you assumed correctly. I’m having a mix of emotions about it. Im happy and sad that these friendships/invites are naturally fading. Im offended that she made assumptions and didn’t give me an opportunity to decide for myself(this is a common trend with this person where she makes assumptions about what’s best for someone without talking to them). It’s also frustrating because I haven’t talked to this person much about how I’m not drinking she thought it was because of trying to get pregnant. I’m also really sad because I’m realizing these friendships probably won’t last much longer and I feel so stupid for thinking they were such close friends.
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Join Date: Sep 2017
Location: East Coast US
Posts: 1,885
Good to hear from you Bodhi and I'm glad that you are doing okay. I have been thinking about you.
Mr. LHW and I are expecting the last round of house guests tomorrow and after they leave on 3/19 that is it. We will have 11 days left to ourselves here before we start the trek back home, though we are taking our time, and stopping at some places along the way for a few days here and there. We expect to arrive back home in early April.
I have been having a really hard time letting go of the anger I feel towards those friends and family who have come to visit and acted like we are a full service Bed and Breakfast and not offering to pay for even one meal. Not everyone was like that, but the majority were. Mr. LHW's youngest daughter came for about 6 days, and she does not make a lot of money, but offered to pay for things whenever she could that were within her budget. That is fine. But those who can very well afford it, the ones who stayed two weeks, paid NOTHING while they were here and I am still very angry about it. Mr. LHW keeps telling me...if not begging me....to just let it all go. It's over and done with, we have learned our lesson and it will not happen again.
Holding on to anger and resentments has long been a bad trait of mine. I just can't seem to let stuff go and constantly dredge it up. I can see Mr. LHW is growing tired of hearing me go on and on about it, so today I am making a conscious effort to put it in the rear view mirror. What's done is done.
Well, that's enough of my complaining for today. Hope everyone has a great day!
LHW
Mr. LHW and I are expecting the last round of house guests tomorrow and after they leave on 3/19 that is it. We will have 11 days left to ourselves here before we start the trek back home, though we are taking our time, and stopping at some places along the way for a few days here and there. We expect to arrive back home in early April.
I have been having a really hard time letting go of the anger I feel towards those friends and family who have come to visit and acted like we are a full service Bed and Breakfast and not offering to pay for even one meal. Not everyone was like that, but the majority were. Mr. LHW's youngest daughter came for about 6 days, and she does not make a lot of money, but offered to pay for things whenever she could that were within her budget. That is fine. But those who can very well afford it, the ones who stayed two weeks, paid NOTHING while they were here and I am still very angry about it. Mr. LHW keeps telling me...if not begging me....to just let it all go. It's over and done with, we have learned our lesson and it will not happen again.
Holding on to anger and resentments has long been a bad trait of mine. I just can't seem to let stuff go and constantly dredge it up. I can see Mr. LHW is growing tired of hearing me go on and on about it, so today I am making a conscious effort to put it in the rear view mirror. What's done is done.
Well, that's enough of my complaining for today. Hope everyone has a great day!
LHW
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Join Date: Aug 2021
Location: Litchfield, SC
Posts: 585
"SS- I 100% echo your 200-day post. The balance and PEACE have been life-changing for me. I finally feel like a sane person just living a normal life- no drama, just ups and downs like everyone- I deal with them, celebrate the good stuff and move on. I honestly have never gotten this far before without "slips" here and there- so I had no idea this feeling was possible and each day I'm more grateful. 7 months tomorrow- this past month just breezed right by."
Thanks, Viking--I read something like that and think, glad it's someone else too, then hope it will be many others coming to SR.
This just occurred to me: does everyone need a million reasons not to drink (even if there are a million reasons)? Does anyone need a million reasons? Would it be easier, and better, to just name one and go with it?
I did the former before and spent 15 years bouncing back and forth. Now I'm doing the latter and like Viking, this is my longest sober stretch. Every day at some point I think to myself, "I love I can/am doing this--but there is no way in hell I could if I were drinking at all." Every day. And some days, that's just getting out of bed.
I firmly believe every recovery plan--whether it's your back, your pesky garage mess or kicking the drinking habit--needs a short and long term plan. Short, any port in a storm. Long...a life you're building where your changes, your serenity, your hope...are such that the miasma of a cool drink in a dark bar is quickly dashed by the alarming reality of losing those changes, serenity, and hope. Well-adjusting people change their behavior to meet their goals, and mal-adjusting people change their goals to meet their behavior. I've been both. If you have too, you know what I'm talking about.
Blah outside, the gutters need replacing, and the scale has not budged since my Evolt scan on the first of the month. That's working out twice a day now, eating even more salad, and IF 12-18 hours a day. But I know another AV dirty trick: "look at all that hard work and sacrifice, for nothing. Why not take a weekend off? You deserve it." Yeah, uh-uh. Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me countless times, shame on me. You know?
Thanks, Viking--I read something like that and think, glad it's someone else too, then hope it will be many others coming to SR.
This just occurred to me: does everyone need a million reasons not to drink (even if there are a million reasons)? Does anyone need a million reasons? Would it be easier, and better, to just name one and go with it?
I did the former before and spent 15 years bouncing back and forth. Now I'm doing the latter and like Viking, this is my longest sober stretch. Every day at some point I think to myself, "I love I can/am doing this--but there is no way in hell I could if I were drinking at all." Every day. And some days, that's just getting out of bed.
I firmly believe every recovery plan--whether it's your back, your pesky garage mess or kicking the drinking habit--needs a short and long term plan. Short, any port in a storm. Long...a life you're building where your changes, your serenity, your hope...are such that the miasma of a cool drink in a dark bar is quickly dashed by the alarming reality of losing those changes, serenity, and hope. Well-adjusting people change their behavior to meet their goals, and mal-adjusting people change their goals to meet their behavior. I've been both. If you have too, you know what I'm talking about.
Blah outside, the gutters need replacing, and the scale has not budged since my Evolt scan on the first of the month. That's working out twice a day now, eating even more salad, and IF 12-18 hours a day. But I know another AV dirty trick: "look at all that hard work and sacrifice, for nothing. Why not take a weekend off? You deserve it." Yeah, uh-uh. Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me countless times, shame on me. You know?
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Join Date: May 2018
Location: Where I’ve longed to be all my life…..here, now.
Posts: 7,394
Nice posts, everyone!😍😍😍😍
My youngest daughter should arrive here tomorrow, sooooo excited! Her friend is coming on Sunday.
I tried skiing today, first time in a month. It was -13C (about 7 F) when we went out at 10:30 am. 🥶🥶🥶🥶
I almost fell on an ice sheet, but saved it. My hand hurt so badly from the cold, and for those of you who ski, will understand that two poles equal better balance and form, so between using mostly my left non dominant hand, and the extreme cold. It was quite a challenge. A few tears making my hand work, and so frustrated at the length of time of healing…
Activities like that keep us in the now, like you said, SS. Skiing, hobbies, reading, are all good distractions, and are most things advanced alcoholics can’t do as an active user of their poison of choice.
My youngest daughter should arrive here tomorrow, sooooo excited! Her friend is coming on Sunday.
I tried skiing today, first time in a month. It was -13C (about 7 F) when we went out at 10:30 am. 🥶🥶🥶🥶
I almost fell on an ice sheet, but saved it. My hand hurt so badly from the cold, and for those of you who ski, will understand that two poles equal better balance and form, so between using mostly my left non dominant hand, and the extreme cold. It was quite a challenge. A few tears making my hand work, and so frustrated at the length of time of healing…
Activities like that keep us in the now, like you said, SS. Skiing, hobbies, reading, are all good distractions, and are most things advanced alcoholics can’t do as an active user of their poison of choice.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,756
Bodhi all I can tell you is the friends I have now I love dearly and vice versa. It might sound harsh but I don't feel a sense of loss for those who drifted away because I stopped poisoning myself.
I'm sorry about your hand pain Free.
Hi SS - good thoughts, and hi LHW - glad your B and B days are coming to an end
D
I'm sorry about your hand pain Free.
Hi SS - good thoughts, and hi LHW - glad your B and B days are coming to an end
D
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Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: New England
Posts: 4,494
Hi, Everyone!
Glad to hear everyone is doing so well and dealing with the day to day stuff, even the extraordinarily HARD kind really, really well. We are certainly walking the walk these days. Bohdi- those friends were there when it was time for them to be there, and now it's just not that time anymore. Yes, it's hard- but let's face it, you're evolving and they are sort of in the same place- for now. You will find new people. They may even be around you- you just don't know it yet. Stay the course and it will all work out- I went to lunch with people today I probably wouldn't have hung out with much a year ago and we had a fantastic time!
Free- I admire your perseverance- I hope you heal up 100% and show the mountain who's boss! Your resoluteness resonates with me- and it's fantastic that you have such support from Dr. Free.
LHW- Can I come visit? KIDDING!!! Please do remember all this next year and practice saying NO. It's a great word.
SS- I am stuck toooooo!!!!! UGH. I changed my activity and what I have been eating, weight came down a little bit- but the thing that works for me is shifting my fast- so since I'm fasting early evening to late morning (5P-11A) I will shift to 9A -3P for a few days and let me tell you- that shakes things up in a good way! It's much harder for me to do that, esp on days I'm working until 5- so I have not done it yet but I plan to this week.
My week was pretty dreamy- lots of work, good hair days and I'm packing for my first sober trip out of the country in my whole life..... This should be something.
Oh, and about the million reasons for quitting- I only had one- I chose to live- but I do have a million things that I am grateful for since quitting. I review what I'm grateful for several times a day, and SS- being able and WANTING to get up every day is on the top of the list. Like you, I am sort of in awe at what I am now able to accomplish (it's just regular stuff but I sure couldn't do it while I was drinking) and I'm no longer constantly playing catch up and I'm HAPPY and I don't dislike me anymore (this is huge.) It's just better and that is the simplest reason I do not drink. It's better. I'm better. We are all better. Everything is easier, even the bad things that happen. Why was I living such a hard life???? Don't know. Don't care- I'm not now, that's all that matters. I'm better. (Don't misunderstand- I know I'm not cured , and I remain ever vigilant.)
I love this class. I was so happy to see so many posts today! Makes me feel like a part of something really, really good.
Have a great Sat and Sunday-
Glad to hear everyone is doing so well and dealing with the day to day stuff, even the extraordinarily HARD kind really, really well. We are certainly walking the walk these days. Bohdi- those friends were there when it was time for them to be there, and now it's just not that time anymore. Yes, it's hard- but let's face it, you're evolving and they are sort of in the same place- for now. You will find new people. They may even be around you- you just don't know it yet. Stay the course and it will all work out- I went to lunch with people today I probably wouldn't have hung out with much a year ago and we had a fantastic time!
Free- I admire your perseverance- I hope you heal up 100% and show the mountain who's boss! Your resoluteness resonates with me- and it's fantastic that you have such support from Dr. Free.
LHW- Can I come visit? KIDDING!!! Please do remember all this next year and practice saying NO. It's a great word.
SS- I am stuck toooooo!!!!! UGH. I changed my activity and what I have been eating, weight came down a little bit- but the thing that works for me is shifting my fast- so since I'm fasting early evening to late morning (5P-11A) I will shift to 9A -3P for a few days and let me tell you- that shakes things up in a good way! It's much harder for me to do that, esp on days I'm working until 5- so I have not done it yet but I plan to this week.
My week was pretty dreamy- lots of work, good hair days and I'm packing for my first sober trip out of the country in my whole life..... This should be something.
Oh, and about the million reasons for quitting- I only had one- I chose to live- but I do have a million things that I am grateful for since quitting. I review what I'm grateful for several times a day, and SS- being able and WANTING to get up every day is on the top of the list. Like you, I am sort of in awe at what I am now able to accomplish (it's just regular stuff but I sure couldn't do it while I was drinking) and I'm no longer constantly playing catch up and I'm HAPPY and I don't dislike me anymore (this is huge.) It's just better and that is the simplest reason I do not drink. It's better. I'm better. We are all better. Everything is easier, even the bad things that happen. Why was I living such a hard life???? Don't know. Don't care- I'm not now, that's all that matters. I'm better. (Don't misunderstand- I know I'm not cured , and I remain ever vigilant.)
I love this class. I was so happy to see so many posts today! Makes me feel like a part of something really, really good.
Have a great Sat and Sunday-
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Join Date: Nov 2020
Posts: 517
Great post Viking and thank you for the wise words.
Tonight my heart is heavy with the loss. I’m finding the evenings are harder and lonelier than the daytime. At least daylight savings is tomorrow so more daylight and hopefully nicer weather comes soon. It snowed today so maybe that’s this winters last goodbye. My husband and I are checking in on each other and I’m a lot more present than I was during the last loss. Good things will come our way soon, but right now it’s hard to see/believe.
Im reading the Beauty of the Dusk which is about a NYTimes journalist who lost sight in one of his eyes. It’s made me think about how frustrating it is when you lose something and doctors have no answers just maybes and how there’s beauty in it somewhere. I just started the book so not sure where that beauty is.
Tonight my heart is heavy with the loss. I’m finding the evenings are harder and lonelier than the daytime. At least daylight savings is tomorrow so more daylight and hopefully nicer weather comes soon. It snowed today so maybe that’s this winters last goodbye. My husband and I are checking in on each other and I’m a lot more present than I was during the last loss. Good things will come our way soon, but right now it’s hard to see/believe.
Im reading the Beauty of the Dusk which is about a NYTimes journalist who lost sight in one of his eyes. It’s made me think about how frustrating it is when you lose something and doctors have no answers just maybes and how there’s beauty in it somewhere. I just started the book so not sure where that beauty is.
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Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: New England
Posts: 4,494
I've never experienced what you're going through, Bodhi, but loss is so hard. Let yourself grieve and hold the belief that good things will come. I'm so sorry you are going through this and I am sad, too. Let's hope that tomorrow is a better day. Sending you peace and virtual hugs.
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Join Date: May 2018
Location: Where I’ve longed to be all my life…..here, now.
Posts: 7,394
Bodhi, I have experienced both personally and as a nurse at the bedside. It was devastating for months afterward personally, and as a nurse, I could really empathize. During COVID, before I retired, the hospital was t even allowing the husband in at the bedside to help him get through, or to help her get through. Absolute torture for everyone.
Soooo glad that’s changing in healthcare now.
Viking and SS, lovely posts also.
Yes, I think we have one of the most sober classes to date. (I’m secretly very competitive with myself…..yep, and others too!)
Ill be 200 days soon. I’m happy, happy, happy, happy, like a room with out a roof…….😄
Soooo glad that’s changing in healthcare now.
Viking and SS, lovely posts also.
Yes, I think we have one of the most sober classes to date. (I’m secretly very competitive with myself…..yep, and others too!)
Ill be 200 days soon. I’m happy, happy, happy, happy, like a room with out a roof…….😄
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