VikingGF

I was riding the anger train very briefly around week 4-5, weird things would just make me angry and I had no clue why. When I sat and thought about it I realized it was the anger roller coaster of early sobriety and now I just kind of recognize it and keep on moving. I have to say, though, so many people are so annoying it's hard to tell what's me and what's valid!

The thoughtful posts of today are great, I read them all twice and still feel like there is so much substance I'll need to go back and read again.

Congrats on day 80, katlin!!!

This weekend is my trip to NY, going to see my friend and have some time together. Wishing everyone a good weekend, and keep on keeping on.

Free2bme888

Have a great trip, Viking, and for elegantly comforting CPath on behalf of all of us. Well said.

Congrats, Katlin!

Ending day 55 here.

CPath, we will leave the light on for y’a 🤓🥰😍😘

Free2bme888

LHW. Yes!!! 🤬

Just no trouble rolling stuff I don’t care to put up with right off my chest. Surprising myself, and I feel better being true to myself and not placating others at my expense.

I consider that another added benefit from not drinking.

SouthernSober

At the risk of sounding like a Big Book thumper...I think it is exactly right (as usual) when it says that anger is the "dubious luxury of other men" [and women--this was in 1939].

Same for resentments. They tear up normies, but can be literally life-threatening to alcoholics.

I look at what's going on in our country and the world these days, and all I can do is turn it over and focus on the things that are under my control. That's in contradistinction to last November, when I was doing tequila shot eye-openers and chasing it with beer...I had a trash can next to my desk in case I puked it back up.

katlin

Good morning, all. Stopping in to say "happy Saturday" to those in the working world. For me, it's just another day -- but another blessed sober day. Still in SC, heading back to the hills on Thursday AM which is pretty good timing as luck would have it. The chances of rain increase significantly here on that day. We've been really fortunate to have no rain having to trot the pup to the sand several times each day.

I read over my post from yesterday and would like to say to myself ... Debbie Downer, much? I was feeling put out and put upon, I suppose. I'm much better just for having typed out my feelings here. I appreciate that some of you offered you have had those same types of feelings. I commented before in this thread that "life is still life" even when we remove the alcohol from it. Ups, downs, twists, turns ... but we're more present for it all without the mind-numbing substance in the way of our feelings.

Blessed beyond measure, we are. Have a great weekend everyone.

Bodhi02

Thanks Kaitlin for the well wishes and hope you enjoy your last few days in SC.

I’m stopping in to say hi! This is a more low key weekend for us after camping and Boston the last 2 weekends. We’re running around doing some errands today and tonight we’re going to a friends house for a game night and celebrate her 1 year of sobriety! She’s one of my closest friends and we’ve been friends since 6th grade so about 20 years which is bonkers! We’ve both struggled with substance abuse and she took the first plunge into sobriety and I came into the same conclusion a few months later. It’s been really nice having someone so close to me who’s known me for so long be on a similar journey and relate to.

Other than that tomorrow will be a chill Sunday with zero plans except for the weekly grocery shopping trip and getting some chores done around the house we’ve been neglecting the last few weeks. The house gets pretty dusty when you’re living life!

LoveHateWhine

Thanks for all the comments about feeling annoyed and irritated. I know it will get better.

I am a bit under the weather today. Got my Covid booster shot yesterday and it slammed me real good. Can hardly walk I am so fatigued. Feel like I have been run over by a truck two or three times. This happened last time but thankfully it only lasted 24 hours so hopefully I will feel better soon. Going back to bed.

Everyone have a great weekend!

LHW

Bodhi02

Feel better LHW and hope you get some good rest!!

I haven’t looked at my day count of sobriety in a while but I just looked it up and today marks 260 days! Woo!

venuscat

That is so awesome dear Bodhi....and so is your friend!!

And yeah LHW, the shots kick your butt for a day or so, that is for sure
Sending love. ❤️

venuscat

I have had some stuff going on for a while, and have not had enough time to read all of the posts and respond as I usually do..... s

I think acceptance is key to a lot of this stuff. Always.
People are well, people.
They/we do crazy annoying illogical inconsistent stuff, and being present means that it can be a bit more noticeable.
But we have the tools to deal with this stuff.....acceptance.....asking for the serenity to accept the things we cannot change.

Which is a lot. More than a lot. More than anytime in our lives previously.....I think...for obvious reasons.
Add dealing with covid to being newly sober and wow, that is a lot.

I think you can all be very very proud of yourselves. ❤️

katlin

Hey, there. I got a flu vaccine one day and the Covid booster the next. I was really down and out for a good 1.5 days after the booster. But, then ... magically all better and certainly now well past the 2 week mark I feel a little more comfortable out in public from time to time. I hope you feel better very soon!

katlin

Just wow!!! You are an inspiration. So happy for you!

Dee74

Hope you feel better tomorrow LHW

D

katlin

Good Sunday morning, all. Not much going on here in SC except enjoying the day with cool breezes and lots of sun. I was out with the dog pre-sunrise as usual and spent some time on the beach just being so thankful for doing it sober as a judge for another day.

I am enjoying such mundane activities these days that I almost have to laugh at myself (where's my stress??? It still amazes me that I'm removed from managing it as a way of daily life). I'm walking, reading, watching television, cooking, eating (too much) and just generally coasting through the days here. It feels so so good to have alcohol removed from the equation. I know that I've posted that statement over and over but it is just so monumental in my life. I'm beginning (day 82) to feel like "me" again. The "me" I was for many many years before I picked up that nasty substance and put it in my body for almost 15 years. Ridiculous. I wish I could go back and undo it all but all I can do is go forward and do better.

Have a super Sunday all y'all.

Free2bme888

Hello all. Checking in

Day 57 here, life is good

Numblady

Hi everyone! Checking in on day I’m not sure what. I should get a day counter. 9/7/21 is sobriety date for me, following my slip in FL.

I feel like I’m in a kind of different place on the anger/resentment stuff. Or at least maybe the anger stuff. My therapist’s perspective (which I am tending to agree with these days) is that even if I’ve conditioned myself to swallow down my anger (literally and metaphorically), it will still manifest itself in different ways, including resentment. That we sometimes need to feel the feeling and name it for it to really be able to pass. And to understand what it is so we can decide if it is something we are going to accept or something we can change. With my husband, who is a problem drinker/alcoholic, over the years and particularly the last year I’ve embraced the fact that I can’t change him — but I also don’t have to accept the marriage on terms that hurt me. I think I’ve probably generally conditioned myself to accept things where maybe it would have been more authentic to say something or acknowledge that oh, actually this feeling in my stomach and chest is probably anger, which may be justified and not necessarily a defect in me as a person, even if I couldn’t change the situation. Not sure where that fits in to the whole emotional sobriety concept, but it just seems like sometimes, though certainly not all the time, we have to speak our piece before we can move on even if we cannot ultimately control the outcome. Because if we don’t, THEN we end up like me, marinating in resentment for well over a decade with things looking pretty much the way they always have.

Katlin, it didn’t sound like Debbie Downer to acknowledge that your husband’s nightly drinking habits bother you. It saps the vitality and the focus of people we otherwise love.

SS, interested in your thoughts on the above from the AA perspective. I actually did read the Big Book I think in its entirety my first sober journey but I don’t have the more in-depth understanding of someone who is in the rooms. How’s it all going for you in general? I’ll try to check the thread you’ve got on the main board!

LHW, hope you feel better soon!

Hi to everyone else!

katlin

NL - thanks to google I can tell you it's been 47 days since your Day 1. Congratulations!

Numblady

Came back because I forgot to congratulate Bodhi on the impressive milestone! CP never would have forgotten like I just did! MIss him. I also love that you and your husband do stuff together like errands. I always wanted that but my husband made me feel silly for wanting it. Anyhow, sounds pretty nice to have a low key weekend like that!

Oh and it also dawned on me that part of the serenity prayer is about the wisdom to know the difference. so maybe in my case, just getting to the realization that my husband’s choices really do hurt me but that I do have the power to change whether I am in the situation is still sort of consistent with the model of not railing against things one cannot change. Maybe!

Numblady

katlin thank you —AND Google

venuscat

I see the courage to change the things I can part as the courage to change me....my behaviour, my reactions, my responses. Even the way I feel about things can change....but ultimately the only thing I can change in this world is me. And when I remember that, I am much calmer and happier.