Class of August 2021 Support Thread Part 5
Member
Join Date: May 2019
Location: Eastern US
Posts: 273
Originally Posted by Bodhi02 
The last few days have been very blah. I’ve been on auto pilot and not really taking care of myself. I tried to cut out added sugars and was doing good for a while but the 2 weekend getaways in the beginning of the month really threw me off my path the rest of the month.
I really need some motivation everything is just kind of grey right now. I need to get out of this funk. I had taken a CBD edible yesterday and that isn’t really adding anything to my life it’s just kind of taking the edge off everything and that’s dangerous for me especially since that’s a big factor of why I drank.
cbd and weed have been substances I’ve used here and there but didn’t really think I had a problem with it but I do have a problem with it it makes me feel lazy and hungry and wipes away all the other healthy goals I have for myself. So I think I’m finding cdb or weed are not something I want to consume because it’s not doing me any favors. I guess I’m just going through the extinction process.
I really need some motivation everything is just kind of grey right now. I need to get out of this funk. I had taken a CBD edible yesterday and that isn’t really adding anything to my life it’s just kind of taking the edge off everything and that’s dangerous for me especially since that’s a big factor of why I drank.
cbd and weed have been substances I’ve used here and there but didn’t really think I had a problem with it but I do have a problem with it it makes me feel lazy and hungry and wipes away all the other healthy goals I have for myself. So I think I’m finding cdb or weed are not something I want to consume because it’s not doing me any favors. I guess I’m just going through the extinction process.
Member
Join Date: May 2019
Location: Eastern US
Posts: 273
Hello, all. From the look of the posts, we're a quiet group for the last couple of days. Yesterday I was busy cleaning the condo and getting packed for my return trip from SC to WV. We arrived back home this afternoon to dreary rain and chilly weather (about 50 degrees this evening). I read the posts I've missed with interest and can appreciate Bodhi's "blah" designation. I'm having that kind of an evening here at home. The AV has cleared its throat to get a word into my head but I'm not listening. I recognize that I'm tired and a little down due to the cleaning yesterday and the travel today (and the weather). I hopped on here to acknowledge those facts and commit to an alcohol-free evening. (My husband just poured his first glass of red). Onward and upward. Time to get through this evening sober so I can wake up clearheaded tomorrow (to make the doughnuts).
Member
Join Date: Nov 2020
Posts: 517
Kaitlin, good for you to check in and commit to another night alcohol free!
I feel like I always get a feeling of restlessness/ the AV comes knocking when I’m in a transition like a trip ending.
I hope you find some joy in the evening and relish in your productivity of a hard days work. There’s really nothing better than waking up the next morning hangover/guilt/shame free and gearing up to get the most out of the day.
The blahs for me have lifted thank goodness and work has slowed down. Things are on the up and up.
I feel like I always get a feeling of restlessness/ the AV comes knocking when I’m in a transition like a trip ending.
I hope you find some joy in the evening and relish in your productivity of a hard days work. There’s really nothing better than waking up the next morning hangover/guilt/shame free and gearing up to get the most out of the day.
The blahs for me have lifted thank goodness and work has slowed down. Things are on the up and up.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2017
Location: East Coast US
Posts: 1,828
Quiet must mean we are all very busy and doing okay. As long as we check in here for support when we need it, that’s okay. It’s good to be busy!
We leave early in the morning for Las Vegas. Back next week. Still feeling strong!
Enjoy the weekend everyone!
LHW
We leave early in the morning for Las Vegas. Back next week. Still feeling strong!
Enjoy the weekend everyone!
LHW
Member
Join Date: Nov 2020
Posts: 517
LHW have fun in Vegas!! The last 3 vacations I’ve been alcohol free have seriously been the best vacations I’ve been on maybe ever. I just experienced so much more than the rinse wash repeat of the drinking and hangover cycles.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2018
Posts: 2,914
Well hello! It has been a busy couple of days for me, although all of a sudden I’m in more of a time warp and can’t remember what the heck i was doing. Not drinking so that’s what matters most!
Bodhi, very wise to tune into the blahs in the transitions. One of my original classmates was always good about pointing out how for her sometimes it was worse after getting through a big thing sober (vacation, funeral, first work party) because she wasn’t on high alert.
Viking, sounds like a wonderful trip and like your friend was probably talking to herself more than you. Sweet re: the guitar. Oh yeah! I cracked up reading your post because when you listed Brandi Carlisle I was thinking of Belinda Carlisle and was kind of like, ok, cool. If that works for you. I didn’t really love the book all that much and it was more about coke than booze but sure.
Brandi’s book sounds way cooler. I read just about any quit lit autobiography I could for a while there. Russell Brand. Elizabeth Vargas. Some dude married to Kia Miller whose name I forgot. And of course, our friend Belinda Carlisle. Learned a lot about the Go-Gos which was cool!
Katlin, you should definitely give yourself a big high-five on the sober beach trip. That was not easy and made even harder if someone close to you IS drinking. Or at least, I’ve found it to be more difficult.
LHW, sounds like such a fun trip! Free, so does yours!
SS, I think you got some very good advice. It was seeming to me like you were not finding or experiencing much joy. A truckload of discipline and dedication. But just grinding, like you said. I wish I had advice on how to slow/cool down.
Venus/Dee, hello! I’m glad y’all are here as the wise forebears of the group.
As for me, sleepy but pretty good. Really dissatisfied with my work colleagues but not sure where to go with it. I don’t want to tattle to the boss. But my co-lead has been ghosting because she is genuinely very busy (but also when I asked her to just let me vent she reminded me how she was right about this thing and I ended up so frustrated I just had to go). Our other colleague went out on leave. 2 have ghosted. 1 we fired. 1 is having serious health problems. 1 has a bad stomach ache. 1 has to do mom stuff. And so I am this default. I asked for help and my co-lead didn’t even respond. I am going to more directly ask her in a conversation. I’m tired of the project and I’m tired of being the one carrying the load what feels like solo way too often.
Have also shared some stuff with my husband and I don’t know how it will all go. Sent him some journal entries from before we had kids with stuff including how I thought he had a serious drinking problem, how I felt like I didn’t have a husband because he was out seeking adoration from sycophantic hangers-on living like a college kid, that kind of stuff. And I am having him read some of his actual words to me. They have been pretty horrible and I’m glad he is going to have to see them in black and white, regardless of how it does go. But so far he hasn’t read it.
Hope everyone is well. I’m definitely ready for the weekend! I need to get SS advice on back rehab. Mine is still jacked up. It’s hard to exercise right now and I would like to get into a better pattern. I’d also like to get into my pants. Which are all too tight.
Sigh. Okay, blah blah blah thanks for listening.
Bodhi, very wise to tune into the blahs in the transitions. One of my original classmates was always good about pointing out how for her sometimes it was worse after getting through a big thing sober (vacation, funeral, first work party) because she wasn’t on high alert.
Viking, sounds like a wonderful trip and like your friend was probably talking to herself more than you. Sweet re: the guitar. Oh yeah! I cracked up reading your post because when you listed Brandi Carlisle I was thinking of Belinda Carlisle and was kind of like, ok, cool. If that works for you. I didn’t really love the book all that much and it was more about coke than booze but sure.
Brandi’s book sounds way cooler. I read just about any quit lit autobiography I could for a while there. Russell Brand. Elizabeth Vargas. Some dude married to Kia Miller whose name I forgot. And of course, our friend Belinda Carlisle. Learned a lot about the Go-Gos which was cool!Katlin, you should definitely give yourself a big high-five on the sober beach trip. That was not easy and made even harder if someone close to you IS drinking. Or at least, I’ve found it to be more difficult.
LHW, sounds like such a fun trip! Free, so does yours!
SS, I think you got some very good advice. It was seeming to me like you were not finding or experiencing much joy. A truckload of discipline and dedication. But just grinding, like you said. I wish I had advice on how to slow/cool down.
Venus/Dee, hello! I’m glad y’all are here as the wise forebears of the group.
As for me, sleepy but pretty good. Really dissatisfied with my work colleagues but not sure where to go with it. I don’t want to tattle to the boss. But my co-lead has been ghosting because she is genuinely very busy (but also when I asked her to just let me vent she reminded me how she was right about this thing and I ended up so frustrated I just had to go). Our other colleague went out on leave. 2 have ghosted. 1 we fired. 1 is having serious health problems. 1 has a bad stomach ache. 1 has to do mom stuff. And so I am this default. I asked for help and my co-lead didn’t even respond. I am going to more directly ask her in a conversation. I’m tired of the project and I’m tired of being the one carrying the load what feels like solo way too often.
Have also shared some stuff with my husband and I don’t know how it will all go. Sent him some journal entries from before we had kids with stuff including how I thought he had a serious drinking problem, how I felt like I didn’t have a husband because he was out seeking adoration from sycophantic hangers-on living like a college kid, that kind of stuff. And I am having him read some of his actual words to me. They have been pretty horrible and I’m glad he is going to have to see them in black and white, regardless of how it does go. But so far he hasn’t read it.
Hope everyone is well. I’m definitely ready for the weekend! I need to get SS advice on back rehab. Mine is still jacked up. It’s hard to exercise right now and I would like to get into a better pattern. I’d also like to get into my pants. Which are all too tight.
Sigh. Okay, blah blah blah thanks for listening.
Member
Join Date: May 2019
Location: Eastern US
Posts: 273
Hello all from wild, wonderful, wet and windy West Virginia! It's a dreary day in my neck of the woods, but also another beautiful alcohol-free day.
I've enjoyed reading all the posts this morning. LHW - I hope you have a wonderful time in Vegas. I've never been and for some reason it's never been on my list of places I'd like to visit. When I mention this to folks in "real life" I get versions of the same response which is something like "that's because you've never been ... you don't know what you're missing". Maybe one of these days I'll give it a try. Free - seems you're going to win the award for most miles logged in one trip. Your destinations sound so eclectic and fun. Mammoth Caves? How neat!
Bodhi - I am really glad to read that the blahs have lifted. I agree totally that the AV starts sneaking up on us when our resistance is low. I appreciate all the kind words as a result of my full disclosure post yesterday evening. Just knowing I could confess my feelings helped put them in perspective. I enjoyed a quiet night and turned in early. Woke up feeling fine today ... not hearing a peep from the AV so far.
Numblady - so sorry to hear that your workmates seem to be dropping like flies. I know that has to be so frustrating. For me, getting almost to the end of any big project is the worst. I'd be so very sick of all the ups and downs, delays, expectations and spend a lot of time in my head just wishing it was over. As I'm sure you know, once it is actually accomplished and you remember it you'll likely feel so accomplished (and thankful it's over) and proud of yourself. Fingers crossed the rest of the timeline and components go well to successful completion.
NL - also thanks for your kind words about my "sober vacation project". Yes, I do feel proud but I also recognize that (as your former classmate) for me it's sometimes the mundane that is difficult to deal with. I think CP mentioned this as well as guarding against complacency being triggers. I've always been the type of person who can rally and motivate for the big things. But, maintenance has been difficult (I think I get bored). I realize that mindset can be dangerous in the sobriety journey because it really is about maintaining our status quo of being non-drinkers. I am trying to see each day as a target/goal and as an accomplishment when achieved alcohol-free. I guess that's sort of the foundation of the AA mentality? One day at a time?
SS - I'm trying to keep up to date on your holistic thread. I need to focus so much more on the health and wellness facets of sober life. I've been overly kind to myself with my non-alcohol treats and need (still) to get a handle on it. If I'm honest, I felt like a Pavlov dog reading your recipe for the Breyer's milkshake. My goodness that sounds great.
As always, like everyone else I'm so very thankful for Dee and Venus.
That's all for now. Hope everyone stays safe and strong this weekend!
I've enjoyed reading all the posts this morning. LHW - I hope you have a wonderful time in Vegas. I've never been and for some reason it's never been on my list of places I'd like to visit. When I mention this to folks in "real life" I get versions of the same response which is something like "that's because you've never been ... you don't know what you're missing". Maybe one of these days I'll give it a try. Free - seems you're going to win the award for most miles logged in one trip. Your destinations sound so eclectic and fun. Mammoth Caves? How neat!
Bodhi - I am really glad to read that the blahs have lifted. I agree totally that the AV starts sneaking up on us when our resistance is low. I appreciate all the kind words as a result of my full disclosure post yesterday evening. Just knowing I could confess my feelings helped put them in perspective. I enjoyed a quiet night and turned in early. Woke up feeling fine today ... not hearing a peep from the AV so far.
Numblady - so sorry to hear that your workmates seem to be dropping like flies. I know that has to be so frustrating. For me, getting almost to the end of any big project is the worst. I'd be so very sick of all the ups and downs, delays, expectations and spend a lot of time in my head just wishing it was over. As I'm sure you know, once it is actually accomplished and you remember it you'll likely feel so accomplished (and thankful it's over) and proud of yourself. Fingers crossed the rest of the timeline and components go well to successful completion.
NL - also thanks for your kind words about my "sober vacation project". Yes, I do feel proud but I also recognize that (as your former classmate) for me it's sometimes the mundane that is difficult to deal with. I think CP mentioned this as well as guarding against complacency being triggers. I've always been the type of person who can rally and motivate for the big things. But, maintenance has been difficult (I think I get bored). I realize that mindset can be dangerous in the sobriety journey because it really is about maintaining our status quo of being non-drinkers. I am trying to see each day as a target/goal and as an accomplishment when achieved alcohol-free. I guess that's sort of the foundation of the AA mentality? One day at a time?
SS - I'm trying to keep up to date on your holistic thread. I need to focus so much more on the health and wellness facets of sober life. I've been overly kind to myself with my non-alcohol treats and need (still) to get a handle on it. If I'm honest, I felt like a Pavlov dog reading your recipe for the Breyer's milkshake. My goodness that sounds great.
As always, like everyone else I'm so very thankful for Dee and Venus.
That's all for now. Hope everyone stays safe and strong this weekend!
Member
Join Date: May 2019
Location: Eastern US
Posts: 273
NL - forgot to comment with a kudos to you for sharing your journal entries with your husband. I would think that is a huge step. It sounds very healthy and I'm hopeful your husband will absorb (in his own time) your writings and recognize he needs to make some changes.
Member
Join Date: May 2019
Location: Eastern US
Posts: 273
Viking, NL, et al -
Have you read Green Lights by Matthew McConaughey? Personally, I loved it but I also really like him. I've recommended it to a couple of people. One loved it and one found it difficult to get into so it's not for everyone, I guess.
I've also always been a big fan of Rick Springfield (I'm a woman of a "certain age") and remember hearing about his struggles through the years. I saw him in concert in the mid-80's and again 2019. He still looks and sounds wonderful to me. I really enjoyed his auto-biography Late, Late At Night. But, again ... can't speak to whether you'd like it if not a fan.
Have you read Green Lights by Matthew McConaughey? Personally, I loved it but I also really like him. I've recommended it to a couple of people. One loved it and one found it difficult to get into so it's not for everyone, I guess.
I've also always been a big fan of Rick Springfield (I'm a woman of a "certain age") and remember hearing about his struggles through the years. I saw him in concert in the mid-80's and again 2019. He still looks and sounds wonderful to me. I really enjoyed his auto-biography Late, Late At Night. But, again ... can't speak to whether you'd like it if not a fan.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: New England
Posts: 4,420
Hi! I’m still here but have no power for 3 days and counting so I’ll be back to chat it up when it gets returned. Sitting in a Cumbies parking lot drinking hot cocoa in my warm car before returning to my dark and cold house. Bleck.
Member
Join Date: May 2018
Location: Where I’ve longed to be all my life…..here, now.
Posts: 7,338
Too funny! Just used the word Blech 🤢 !!!
Ending our road trip soon, stopped west of St. Louis for pizza. It tasted strange. Looked up ‘St Louis style pizza’. It’s made with manufactured cheese called Provol. It was like glue and butter hybrid.
Learned. Look it up first!
now in traffic jam
Day 62
Ending our road trip soon, stopped west of St. Louis for pizza. It tasted strange. Looked up ‘St Louis style pizza’. It’s made with manufactured cheese called Provol. It was like glue and butter hybrid.
Learned. Look it up first!
now in traffic jam
Day 62
Member
Join Date: May 2018
Location: Where I’ve longed to be all my life…..here, now.
Posts: 7,338
Bodhi Glad blahs lifted
LHW. Vegas, baby! LOTS of drinking in that town, it runs freely. Stay focused 🙏🏼🤞🏼
Katlin. Weather can get to my mood too, totally understand
LHW. Vegas, baby! LOTS of drinking in that town, it runs freely. Stay focused 🙏🏼🤞🏼
Katlin. Weather can get to my mood too, totally understand
Member
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: German Village, Columbus with my love ♥
Posts: 88,506
Originally Posted by VikingGF
Hi! I’m still here but have no power for 3 days and counting so I’ll be back to chat it up when it gets returned. Sitting in a Cumbies parking lot drinking hot cocoa in my warm car before returning to my dark and cold house. Bleck.
I hope the power comes back very soon dear Viking :hug; s xx
Member
Join Date: Jan 2018
Posts: 2,914
Katlin, thanks for all the response posts. I like the way you’ve kind of come to ODAAT (one day at a time) just by figuring out the best way for you to navigate sobriety. I’ll have to check out those books…eventually. Right now I’m reading a parenting book that is taking me forever and I’m doing a crappy job of implementing, a dog training book that I’ll probably abandon since I’m paying for dog training…which I’m doing a less crappy job of implementing but doesn’t seem to be working super awesome yet, and now a book on collaborative divorce. Speaking of, thanks for the supportive words on sharing the journal entries with my husband. I think what I am mainly doing with it is trying to help him understand why it’s really probably too late for the two of us with my heart so scarred over and all, but that if he can break the cycle of cruelty and emotional unavailability of his parents then he can have a better relationship with the kids. And your description of the end of a project is so spot on. It’s like my mind is so dull with fatigue from doing this one thing over and over and thinking that it is going to be on a stable course and then discovering new problems. Ugh. And now not getting responses when I specifically ask for help. Also, I’m with you on the Vegas thing. I did finally get to go because I was at a work conference nearby. Still just not my place. I was, however, surprised at how stunningly beautiful the surrounding area is. I guess I pictured it all being totally flat wasteland other than the glitzy buildings but that was not the case.
Viking, that is terrible about your power. I am so sorry. When we had the big winter storm here and so many were without power and running water (including us for a while on the water), I gained a new and profound appreciation for our utilities. I hope it is restored very soon.
Free, I’ve heard horror stories about St. Louis Pizza. I think people in St. Louis are the only people who like it — and that’s just because they must not know any better.
LHW, hope the Vegas trip is going well!
Hi to Dee, Venus and anyone else who may be reading.
I guess I should go finish a few things and then force myself to work out. This back thing is really starting to get old. I’m now just thinking if I try to exercise through it maybe that will help more than rest. I’m not talking anything hard core, mind you! Just some movement and a bit of weights. We will see. Hope everyone has a brilliant Saturday!
Viking, that is terrible about your power. I am so sorry. When we had the big winter storm here and so many were without power and running water (including us for a while on the water), I gained a new and profound appreciation for our utilities. I hope it is restored very soon.
Free, I’ve heard horror stories about St. Louis Pizza. I think people in St. Louis are the only people who like it — and that’s just because they must not know any better.
LHW, hope the Vegas trip is going well!
Hi to Dee, Venus and anyone else who may be reading.
I guess I should go finish a few things and then force myself to work out. This back thing is really starting to get old. I’m now just thinking if I try to exercise through it maybe that will help more than rest. I’m not talking anything hard core, mind you! Just some movement and a bit of weights. We will see. Hope everyone has a brilliant Saturday!
Member
Join Date: May 2018
Location: Where I’ve longed to be all my life…..here, now.
Posts: 7,338
NL
i have an amicable divorce. My ex is a great guy, just a horrible husband. Even though it was friendly, it hurt both us so badly.
we talked about everything, had separate lawyers. Be careful there, they try to get you mad at the other person so they make more money. Ours were so befuddled that we got along. Not everything was peachy, and I dropped the eff bomb once when I realized because I had a retirement account and saved, and because he ran our debt up 30k, I not only had to pay half the debt, I had to give him half my retirement fund 🤬🤬🤬
But, we’ve had the best talks since, and he apologized to me for not getting help for his depression, and I wrote him a letter this summer apologizing for all my wrong doings too. I didn’t point them ALL out, I can’t write a letter that long🤓
Most importantly we researched how to affect our teenagers the least, evidence based stuff about exchanging them, even how and when to tell them, and what to tell them. Smooth as pie.
my heart goes out to you, both for your strength in recognizing the need for change, and the courage to move forward into unknown territory 😬😍🙏🏼
i have an amicable divorce. My ex is a great guy, just a horrible husband. Even though it was friendly, it hurt both us so badly.
we talked about everything, had separate lawyers. Be careful there, they try to get you mad at the other person so they make more money. Ours were so befuddled that we got along. Not everything was peachy, and I dropped the eff bomb once when I realized because I had a retirement account and saved, and because he ran our debt up 30k, I not only had to pay half the debt, I had to give him half my retirement fund 🤬🤬🤬
But, we’ve had the best talks since, and he apologized to me for not getting help for his depression, and I wrote him a letter this summer apologizing for all my wrong doings too. I didn’t point them ALL out, I can’t write a letter that long🤓
Most importantly we researched how to affect our teenagers the least, evidence based stuff about exchanging them, even how and when to tell them, and what to tell them. Smooth as pie.
my heart goes out to you, both for your strength in recognizing the need for change, and the courage to move forward into unknown territory 😬😍🙏🏼
Member
Join Date: May 2019
Location: Eastern US
Posts: 273
Good morning! It's another dreary start to the day here. But, no mind ... it's a beautiful day as well. The leaves are showing their best selves this weekend. As I've posted frequently, I'm into trying to see blessings all around every single day so being here to see the Fall colors is one of those. I also told my husband early this morning that it is such a blessing to be able to take the shark (oh, I mean "pup") out for her rituals in our own yard. The routine of getting her all the way to the beach and the very likely "disturbances" to her concentration was wearing on me. Ahh ... the little things!
I had a last minute invitation to go to a murder mystery dinner tomorrow evening. The setting is 1940's movie premiere so I'm trying to get something together to wear for it today. I have a niece who is a hoarder of all things costume worthy (she inherited this trait from my Mother) so I'm going to her closet later today to see some of the goodies she has in her stash hoping to find something worthy of wearing. It should be lots of fun and the people I'm going with are all (or almost all) non-drinkers so there will be no temptation to order anything alcoholic. That's another blessing to put on the list.
I hope everyone has a great weekend!
I had a last minute invitation to go to a murder mystery dinner tomorrow evening. The setting is 1940's movie premiere so I'm trying to get something together to wear for it today. I have a niece who is a hoarder of all things costume worthy (she inherited this trait from my Mother) so I'm going to her closet later today to see some of the goodies she has in her stash hoping to find something worthy of wearing. It should be lots of fun and the people I'm going with are all (or almost all) non-drinkers so there will be no temptation to order anything alcoholic. That's another blessing to put on the list.
I hope everyone has a great weekend!
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
