Class of August 2021 Support Thread Part 5
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Class of August 2021 Support Thread Part 5
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Join Date: Aug 2021
Location: Litchfield, SC
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Beautiful evening here, first real night of fall. 50 degrees and breezy, quiet. Cats playing and Keith Jarrett on the stereo. Kinna the way a Sunday night should feel.
I did not drink today, so tomorrow should be Day 60 if my count is correct (8/20/21?). SS
I did not drink today, so tomorrow should be Day 60 if my count is correct (8/20/21?). SS
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Join Date: Sep 2016
Location: Kansas City, MO
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Good Monday morning everyone. And congratulations on all of the milestones!
Viking, I loved your optimistic post and am so happy that you are feeling good and exploring your feelings. Good for you for getting outside of your comfort zone and going ahead with that chair massage. Likewise with your mindset about visiting your friend. I imagine that the topic of drinking will come up at some point during your stay, but I agree that you don't need to lay down any ground rules.
SS, I'm not familiar with Keith Jarrett, but I plan to give him a listen today. I just read his summary page on Spotify and he sounds like someone I would enjoy. Thanks for mentioning it.
LHW, to answer your question, it was a nice weekend. Busy Saturday, driving 2 1/2 hours to attend a festival with the kids and grandkids. We decided to skip the parade, as it was going to be difficult to get there on time and navigate the traffic. Plus, it was going to be a little cold for the little ones. Spent the day with my sister and niece. The drive back on Saturday evening was challenging as the little one (9 month old grandson) did not want to go to sleep. Mom and Dad were getting stressed out, but I kind of took it all in stride. He cried himself to sleep eventually. Sunday was lazy. Too much football. Not enough activity. More about this on a separate post.
That's about it for now. Complacency is really starting to be a problem. I feel stuck, for some reason. More to follow, once I have a little more coffee.
Viking, I loved your optimistic post and am so happy that you are feeling good and exploring your feelings. Good for you for getting outside of your comfort zone and going ahead with that chair massage. Likewise with your mindset about visiting your friend. I imagine that the topic of drinking will come up at some point during your stay, but I agree that you don't need to lay down any ground rules.
SS, I'm not familiar with Keith Jarrett, but I plan to give him a listen today. I just read his summary page on Spotify and he sounds like someone I would enjoy. Thanks for mentioning it.
LHW, to answer your question, it was a nice weekend. Busy Saturday, driving 2 1/2 hours to attend a festival with the kids and grandkids. We decided to skip the parade, as it was going to be difficult to get there on time and navigate the traffic. Plus, it was going to be a little cold for the little ones. Spent the day with my sister and niece. The drive back on Saturday evening was challenging as the little one (9 month old grandson) did not want to go to sleep. Mom and Dad were getting stressed out, but I kind of took it all in stride. He cried himself to sleep eventually. Sunday was lazy. Too much football. Not enough activity. More about this on a separate post.
That's about it for now. Complacency is really starting to be a problem. I feel stuck, for some reason. More to follow, once I have a little more coffee.
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Yes, agree. Coffee first.
Ditto CPath to our fellow peeps, trying to help Dr Free navigate, so unable to post too much detail.
on our way to Florida.
Got one par yesterday at golf. Very tough course but loved Hoover /Birmingham areas.
Botanical gardens yesterday. Maybe will post pics tonight.
CPath, I’ve been feeling weird in my head too, just feeling feelings I guess. Little uncomfortable.
To all a good day!
Ditto CPath to our fellow peeps, trying to help Dr Free navigate, so unable to post too much detail.
on our way to Florida.
Got one par yesterday at golf. Very tough course but loved Hoover /Birmingham areas.
Botanical gardens yesterday. Maybe will post pics tonight.
CPath, I’ve been feeling weird in my head too, just feeling feelings I guess. Little uncomfortable.
To all a good day!
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Join Date: May 2019
Location: Eastern US
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Good Monday morning.
Southern - I'm enjoying the lovely cooler weather on the SC coast, albeit a few miles north of you. Agree it was a beautiful night last night and it's such a clear and crisp morning. This is my favorite time of the year here.
CP - I'm interested to read more about the feels you're feeling right now. It sounds like you took the day off yesterday from your exercise routine. I understand that in itself can bring us down a bit. Endorphins are a wonderful thing if we can keep them firing.
Viking and Free - y'all really have a lot going on. Good on you both to keep moving forward and navigating so many social settings successfully sober.
Everyone else - another great day to be sober whatever else is happening. Oh, and just saying ... today is National Chocolate Cupcake Day if anyone is craving a sugar rush.
Southern - I'm enjoying the lovely cooler weather on the SC coast, albeit a few miles north of you. Agree it was a beautiful night last night and it's such a clear and crisp morning. This is my favorite time of the year here.
CP - I'm interested to read more about the feels you're feeling right now. It sounds like you took the day off yesterday from your exercise routine. I understand that in itself can bring us down a bit. Endorphins are a wonderful thing if we can keep them firing.
Viking and Free - y'all really have a lot going on. Good on you both to keep moving forward and navigating so many social settings successfully sober.
Everyone else - another great day to be sober whatever else is happening. Oh, and just saying ... today is National Chocolate Cupcake Day if anyone is craving a sugar rush.
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Join Date: Aug 2021
Location: Litchfield, SC
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"CPath, I’ve been feeling weird in my head too, just feeling feelings I guess. Little uncomfortable."
That was me yesterday--for no discernible reason. Felt like "hangxiety." Didn't want to leave the house. Just looked and felt terrible. Struggled at the gym, meeting felt blah. Had a good talk with my sponsor tho, had a pleasant evening, and slept well. Woke up to fresh air with windows open and birds chirping. A new day. And 60 days sober.
"It's OK...to not be OK."
That was me yesterday--for no discernible reason. Felt like "hangxiety." Didn't want to leave the house. Just looked and felt terrible. Struggled at the gym, meeting felt blah. Had a good talk with my sponsor tho, had a pleasant evening, and slept well. Woke up to fresh air with windows open and birds chirping. A new day. And 60 days sober.
"It's OK...to not be OK."
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Join Date: Sep 2016
Location: Kansas City, MO
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SS, I think that the quote on your signature line sums things up pretty well.
“For me, it went from the problems I was having when I was actually drinking….to the problems I was having when I was actually not drinking.”
Lack of motivation or direction. Complacency. Stuck. Whatever you want to call it. Besides my running, I can’t seem to muster the ambition to accomplish much of anything. Sometimes I feel like a child in this respect. If I had someone to tell me what I need to do, and hold me accountable to that, I would go above and beyond to meet their expectations. But I seem to have no clue on how to be a self-starter and motivate myself. Self-doubt creeps in quickly, before I can take that first step in any direction. Maybe I can sum it up best this way. I feel the most content when I’m moving towards a goal, but I seem to be unable to set one.
In the past, this type of frustration would build until I just threw in the towel and went back to my six-pack pacifier for temporary relief. It’s not going to happen this time. I will learn how to process these feelings and move past them. Maybe tough love is the answer. Just turn off the brain and dive in. Get your lazy self off the couch and do something, even if you’re not comfortable. That’s what I would tell my kids to do, minus the “lazy” part.
Actions speak louder than words. I seem to have the 'words' part mastered. Thanks for listening. I hope everyone is having a good day.
“For me, it went from the problems I was having when I was actually drinking….to the problems I was having when I was actually not drinking.”
Lack of motivation or direction. Complacency. Stuck. Whatever you want to call it. Besides my running, I can’t seem to muster the ambition to accomplish much of anything. Sometimes I feel like a child in this respect. If I had someone to tell me what I need to do, and hold me accountable to that, I would go above and beyond to meet their expectations. But I seem to have no clue on how to be a self-starter and motivate myself. Self-doubt creeps in quickly, before I can take that first step in any direction. Maybe I can sum it up best this way. I feel the most content when I’m moving towards a goal, but I seem to be unable to set one.
In the past, this type of frustration would build until I just threw in the towel and went back to my six-pack pacifier for temporary relief. It’s not going to happen this time. I will learn how to process these feelings and move past them. Maybe tough love is the answer. Just turn off the brain and dive in. Get your lazy self off the couch and do something, even if you’re not comfortable. That’s what I would tell my kids to do, minus the “lazy” part.
Actions speak louder than words. I seem to have the 'words' part mastered. Thanks for listening. I hope everyone is having a good day.
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CP- I hear you and was reading through some of your recent posts. "Besides my running" sticks out in my head pretty loudly. How are you so committed to this one activity but have no motivation for anything else that needs to get done, right? I have the tendency to be the same way, and I will look for any fun but much less important task (shopping, procrasti-baking, organizing a closet) rather than doing some true work (hanging that dang closet door, cleaning out my garage or scrubbing my bathroom floors) and I recognize this as the old me who would just drink instead of doing undesirable tasks. Because I'm doing SOMETHING, I feel like it's a win, but is it? I'm not really ticking things off my to-do list very efficiently, but I allow myself the out. Why? Because I'm not drunk. While this was OK in the first weeks, I am well beyond that point now, it's time to do some stuff that isn't fun. I also feel like a petulant child- "but I don't want to do it!!!!!" is still my favorite whine. (See what I did there?) For me, that is something I really have to work on. The upside is that when I do actually accomplish something, it feels very good, and we do like reinforcement! Just my two cents.
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Join Date: Jan 2018
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Bwahahaha procsti-baking and that joke by SS about HOAs. Love it!
katlin, thanks for asking! All is pretty well. I posted Saturday I think and then just didn’t get back until now. I think I mentioned going to friends’ house for dinner/party Saturday night. I actually had a partially rocky time. There was just so much booze everywhere. And pretty much everyone there was a heavy drinker. Except little old me. I was a bit panicked for a while. And then I wasn’t. And it was pretty lovely for the most part. My husband got kind of slurry and loud but we were the first people to arrive and first to leave, which was quite nice. Sunday was really just stuff with my kids I guess. I’m not totally sure what i did yesterday. Tried to make myself NOT do stuff on the to-do list. Not that I really get much ticked off the to-do list anyhow but I did try to just let myself flit from task to risk without too much of an agenda. And then it was Monday and school and work and all that junk.
Hope all are well!
katlin, thanks for asking! All is pretty well. I posted Saturday I think and then just didn’t get back until now. I think I mentioned going to friends’ house for dinner/party Saturday night. I actually had a partially rocky time. There was just so much booze everywhere. And pretty much everyone there was a heavy drinker. Except little old me. I was a bit panicked for a while. And then I wasn’t. And it was pretty lovely for the most part. My husband got kind of slurry and loud but we were the first people to arrive and first to leave, which was quite nice. Sunday was really just stuff with my kids I guess. I’m not totally sure what i did yesterday. Tried to make myself NOT do stuff on the to-do list. Not that I really get much ticked off the to-do list anyhow but I did try to just let myself flit from task to risk without too much of an agenda. And then it was Monday and school and work and all that junk.
Hope all are well!
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Join Date: Aug 2021
Location: Litchfield, SC
Posts: 585
Want to share something from an old-timer this weekend that nicely sums up the AV trying to tell us that "this time will be different," and/or we're "cured:"
"I have to remind myself I have alcohol-ism, not alcohol-wasm."
I've seen at least a few times posts from people who joined SR 2-10 years ago...and are now coming back with the bitter taste of the above.
"I have to remind myself I have alcohol-ism, not alcohol-wasm."
I've seen at least a few times posts from people who joined SR 2-10 years ago...and are now coming back with the bitter taste of the above.
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Join Date: Sep 2016
Location: Kansas City, MO
Posts: 1,121
Originally Posted by VikingGF 
While this was OK in the first weeks, I am well beyond that point now, it's time to do some stuff that isn't fun. I also feel like a petulant child- "but I don't want to do it!!!!!" is still my favorite whine. (See what I did there?) For me, that is something I really have to work on. The upside is that when I do actually accomplish something, it feels very good, and we do like reinforcement! Just my two cents.
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Join Date: Sep 2017
Location: East Coast US
Posts: 1,819
Well, 2 funerals out the way. Hopefully that is it for awhile. Though I feel like I jinx myself when I say that, but I just did so can’t take it back now.
Fiancée and I played golf yesterday in a charity golf outing. It was freezing. 20-25 mph winds with up to 30 mph gusts. What on earth was I thinking? I am done until we get down to Florida in February. He is an all year round golfer so out there again today, but there is no wind, just cold. Should warm up again in next couple days.
Hope everyone is doing well.
Fiancée and I played golf yesterday in a charity golf outing. It was freezing. 20-25 mph winds with up to 30 mph gusts. What on earth was I thinking? I am done until we get down to Florida in February. He is an all year round golfer so out there again today, but there is no wind, just cold. Should warm up again in next couple days.
Hope everyone is doing well.
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Join Date: Sep 2016
Location: Kansas City, MO
Posts: 1,121
Great pic Free. Thanks for sharing.
Not much new to report from CP land this morning. Play date Wednesday. Always fun chasing the granddaughter around. Borrowed a tricycle that should be about the right size for her. She's fearless, so the challenge will be keeping it upright and avoiding any major scrapes, bumps, or bruises.
I hope that everyone is doing okay.
Not much new to report from CP land this morning. Play date Wednesday. Always fun chasing the granddaughter around. Borrowed a tricycle that should be about the right size for her. She's fearless, so the challenge will be keeping it upright and avoiding any major scrapes, bumps, or bruises.
I hope that everyone is doing okay.
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Join Date: May 2019
Location: Eastern US
Posts: 273
Good morning! Not a lot of activity here for me and evidently for others. I am hard pressed to get a few moments alone to gather my thoughts enough to post, although I'm still keeping up on reading through yours and others here on SR.
Free - what a ride you're having. I'm not a golfer, but if I was a golfer ... it would be in Florida this time of the year. It looks fabulous.
ClearPath - I hope the last couple of days have been productive for you or if they haven't been that you've settled into an attitude of gratitude that you can accept some downtime gratefully. It's allowed. As several have discussed, this sobriety is hard work. We are "working" on recovery ... physically and emotionally and I think there are times when it takes its toll. It certainly feels that way to me.
I feel so fortunate to have the time to dedicate to this new life of sobriety. In some ways, it would seem easier if I had work to fill my hours but in reality the stress of work would likely perpetuate a relapse since I include that stressor as one of the reasons I "enjoyed" (pun intended) nightly drinking for me for over 10 years. Incidentally, I had a phone call yesterday from one of the managers who worked directly for me for the last few years. She called to vent about some of the changes she's dealing with and it seems there is quite a bit of chaos (her word) in the workplace right now. That further substantiates once again that I'm better off on this side of that work environment and gave me a reminder of another blessing to count this morning.
I've been seeing the sunrise every morning and the moonrise at night over the Atlantic. Always beautiful sights, experiencing them sober after so many years of having the alcohol filter everything is another blessing. I am just so very thankful for every single day.
Speaking of the day, it's getting away from me. Husband out with pup and I need to enjoy the "quiet time". Hope everyone is feeling strong today. If not, virtual hugs and cheerleading sent your way. We can do this!
Free - what a ride you're having. I'm not a golfer, but if I was a golfer ... it would be in Florida this time of the year. It looks fabulous.
ClearPath - I hope the last couple of days have been productive for you or if they haven't been that you've settled into an attitude of gratitude that you can accept some downtime gratefully. It's allowed. As several have discussed, this sobriety is hard work. We are "working" on recovery ... physically and emotionally and I think there are times when it takes its toll. It certainly feels that way to me.
I feel so fortunate to have the time to dedicate to this new life of sobriety. In some ways, it would seem easier if I had work to fill my hours but in reality the stress of work would likely perpetuate a relapse since I include that stressor as one of the reasons I "enjoyed" (pun intended) nightly drinking for me for over 10 years. Incidentally, I had a phone call yesterday from one of the managers who worked directly for me for the last few years. She called to vent about some of the changes she's dealing with and it seems there is quite a bit of chaos (her word) in the workplace right now. That further substantiates once again that I'm better off on this side of that work environment and gave me a reminder of another blessing to count this morning.
I've been seeing the sunrise every morning and the moonrise at night over the Atlantic. Always beautiful sights, experiencing them sober after so many years of having the alcohol filter everything is another blessing. I am just so very thankful for every single day.
Speaking of the day, it's getting away from me. Husband out with pup and I need to enjoy the "quiet time". Hope everyone is feeling strong today. If not, virtual hugs and cheerleading sent your way. We can do this!
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Join Date: Nov 2020
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SouthernSober, I love that quote that you shared about it’s ok to not be okay.
I definitely had a day where I just was not feeling ok when we got back from Boston the next day at work I was just a bundle of nervous energy and double guessing myself. I’m guessing I just needed to get back into the work groove but man was that uncomfortable it definitely reminded me of those Monday mornings after a weekend binge session ugh so terrible.
SS your quote helped me get through that because ya know what I did have to do some major mind shifting to get back into work mood so it’s all ok to not feel ok.
The trip to Boston and Salem was a blast. This is my 3rd sober getaway/adventure and they honestly get better and better. We got to see so much of the area, eat great food, got a lot of exercise in, didn’t watch basically any tv, and got to spend some time with good friends. Also on the drive we listened to This Naked Mind audiobook. Even though my husband drinks and I’m not judging his drinking (or trying not to) but it made me feel really heard and seen when he listening to it with me because it’s him trying to understand what I’m going through. So if it makes him think about drinking in a different way cool but really the joy is that he’s taking the time to understand what I’m going through.
So anyway it was a great trip and all without having alcohol there to numb it out or fast forward through the vacation.
I definitely had a day where I just was not feeling ok when we got back from Boston the next day at work I was just a bundle of nervous energy and double guessing myself. I’m guessing I just needed to get back into the work groove but man was that uncomfortable it definitely reminded me of those Monday mornings after a weekend binge session ugh so terrible.
SS your quote helped me get through that because ya know what I did have to do some major mind shifting to get back into work mood so it’s all ok to not feel ok.
The trip to Boston and Salem was a blast. This is my 3rd sober getaway/adventure and they honestly get better and better. We got to see so much of the area, eat great food, got a lot of exercise in, didn’t watch basically any tv, and got to spend some time with good friends. Also on the drive we listened to This Naked Mind audiobook. Even though my husband drinks and I’m not judging his drinking (or trying not to) but it made me feel really heard and seen when he listening to it with me because it’s him trying to understand what I’m going through. So if it makes him think about drinking in a different way cool but really the joy is that he’s taking the time to understand what I’m going through.
So anyway it was a great trip and all without having alcohol there to numb it out or fast forward through the vacation.
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LHW very sorry about the funerals. I hope they are your last for a while.
Bodhi that is so awesome about your husband listening to the audiobook with you.
Katlin, I definitely hear you on the struggle to get here to post. I do like to read especially and also post. But so often it’s like it is right now, in the few minutes I’m awake before the chaos starts and Im’ not really awake. Or at the end of the evening and I’m so tired. I think if you can stay out of the working world you should. What a gift to be able to focus on things you want to do to enrich your life. I say take it!
Right now for me it’s thankfully somewhat less busy at work. My grandma is still in the hospital and will have another procedure—hopefully nothing drastic like removing stomach (and putting in some kind of bag…I’m very unsure what this would even look like), hopefully just to clean up the incision site and remove anything infected locally. I think. My daughter is having mighty struggles at school and I’m just sad about the whole thing. Sad for her feeling ashamed for being in trouble, for feeling so frustrated with her teacher. But also frustrated myself because her reactions are so strong and she used physical aggression and now may get booted off her special activities where she likes to be a leader. I wish the school had said something earlier. I mean, I had a parent-teacher conference last week and they didn’t say anything. Frustrating. And it involves the kid of one of our closest family friends. We hang out together regularly. It’s awkward. I’m worried they complained to the school. Which is their prerogative but again, wish I would have had some clue it was going on earlier.
Also, why do the schools just reach out to the moms when this stuff goes on? At least the counselor included my husband but I feel like I have to figure it all out alone because people expect the moms to handle it. Or at least that is how it feels right now.
Sorry for whine. At least I’m sober to face it!
And now I’m late to wake up my son. But thanks for listening.
Bodhi that is so awesome about your husband listening to the audiobook with you.
Katlin, I definitely hear you on the struggle to get here to post. I do like to read especially and also post. But so often it’s like it is right now, in the few minutes I’m awake before the chaos starts and Im’ not really awake. Or at the end of the evening and I’m so tired. I think if you can stay out of the working world you should. What a gift to be able to focus on things you want to do to enrich your life. I say take it!
Right now for me it’s thankfully somewhat less busy at work. My grandma is still in the hospital and will have another procedure—hopefully nothing drastic like removing stomach (and putting in some kind of bag…I’m very unsure what this would even look like), hopefully just to clean up the incision site and remove anything infected locally. I think. My daughter is having mighty struggles at school and I’m just sad about the whole thing. Sad for her feeling ashamed for being in trouble, for feeling so frustrated with her teacher. But also frustrated myself because her reactions are so strong and she used physical aggression and now may get booted off her special activities where she likes to be a leader. I wish the school had said something earlier. I mean, I had a parent-teacher conference last week and they didn’t say anything. Frustrating. And it involves the kid of one of our closest family friends. We hang out together regularly. It’s awkward. I’m worried they complained to the school. Which is their prerogative but again, wish I would have had some clue it was going on earlier.
Also, why do the schools just reach out to the moms when this stuff goes on? At least the counselor included my husband but I feel like I have to figure it all out alone because people expect the moms to handle it. Or at least that is how it feels right now.
Sorry for whine. At least I’m sober to face it!
And now I’m late to wake up my son. But thanks for listening.
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