Class of December 2020 Part 7
Member
Join Date: Dec 2020
Posts: 729
Good morning crew,
Hey Zura, Elly, cbs, venus and dee. ❤️❤️
So looks like Melbourne is heading for another lockdown. So funny how weirdly this is hitting with me at the moment. I think because I was already a bit wobbly and have spent a couple of days fighting strong drinking urges that I haven’t had to deal with for awhile, so the idea of having to go back there seems big. Like a badly timed break in my careful efforts to reconnect with people et al. Like a return to bad old days. Even though it isn’t. It is just the same. A bit pissed off that I don’t qualify for vaccine. I’m turning 49 this year , so I would qualify if it was next year. 🤦♀️
I had also made a plan to quit smoking on June 1. But now concerned that if that is during a lockdown it would limit my ability to treat the fairly inevitable chest infection /bronchitis I usually get when I stop.
Reinventing myself in recovery is hard work sometimes. 😂😂
Hey Zura, Elly, cbs, venus and dee. ❤️❤️
So looks like Melbourne is heading for another lockdown. So funny how weirdly this is hitting with me at the moment. I think because I was already a bit wobbly and have spent a couple of days fighting strong drinking urges that I haven’t had to deal with for awhile, so the idea of having to go back there seems big. Like a badly timed break in my careful efforts to reconnect with people et al. Like a return to bad old days. Even though it isn’t. It is just the same. A bit pissed off that I don’t qualify for vaccine. I’m turning 49 this year , so I would qualify if it was next year. 🤦♀️
I had also made a plan to quit smoking on June 1. But now concerned that if that is during a lockdown it would limit my ability to treat the fairly inevitable chest infection /bronchitis I usually get when I stop.
Reinventing myself in recovery is hard work sometimes. 😂😂
s ❤️
Member
Join Date: Dec 2020
Posts: 363
Hi Tanky! Lockdowns do suck, but they also end. 3 months ago we were miserable here in CA, and now everything is opening up! Hope you guys get more vaccines soon down there. I am fully vaccinated now and my anxiety in stores has gone down so much!
I hate it when drinking urges come along again... it's like they come out of left field (though there is usually something, like boredom or resentment that precedes them). Our brains will eventually stop being so "alki" in the future, I am sure.
I hate it when drinking urges come along again... it's like they come out of left field (though there is usually something, like boredom or resentment that precedes them). Our brains will eventually stop being so "alki" in the future, I am sure.
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Join Date: Dec 2020
Posts: 729
Originally Posted by EllyB 
Hi Tanky! Lockdowns do suck, but they also end. 3 months ago we were miserable here in CA, and now everything is opening up! Hope you guys get more vaccines soon down there. I am fully vaccinated now and my anxiety in stores has gone down so much!
I hate it when drinking urges come along again... it's like they come out of left field (though there is usually something, like boredom or resentment that precedes them). Our brains will eventually stop being so "alki" in the future, I am sure.
I hate it when drinking urges come along again... it's like they come out of left field (though there is usually something, like boredom or resentment that precedes them). Our brains will eventually stop being so "alki" in the future, I am sure.
yeah, sorry I was not really meaning to complain about lockdown. It is our fourth or fifth one and some of them have only been short like this one - a week. I was just noting that I am approaching it the wrong way in my head. Like the first thing I thought of when it was imminent was how I drank through the first one. How I could slide into that again. But as I also confessed I was already a bit shaky, so I guess it is no surprise my alkie head went to the catastrophic.
I will, of course, be fine. My sponsor actually contacted me today to ask if I wanted to be in a “single person bubble” with her so we could still see each other in person this week.
So lovely . I am pretty blessed, really.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2019
Posts: 2,698
Good Morning All
Tanky - I'm glad your feeling a bit better about lockdown. Im very close to someone who lives in Melbourne, they're not an alcoholic and they don't "cope" well or whatever word you want to use. Don't be hard on yourself. You sound good despite feeling shaky. I love that about the single person bubble and how lovely you have a connection like that.
Hey Elly ☺️ I'm better now after a rest. Crazy busy is over and back to just regular busy. Regular programming will now resume 😝
CBS - hope your hanging in there and starting to feel better.
Tanky - I'm glad your feeling a bit better about lockdown. Im very close to someone who lives in Melbourne, they're not an alcoholic and they don't "cope" well or whatever word you want to use. Don't be hard on yourself. You sound good despite feeling shaky. I love that about the single person bubble and how lovely you have a connection like that.
Hey Elly ☺️ I'm better now after a rest. Crazy busy is over and back to just regular busy. Regular programming will now resume 😝
CBS - hope your hanging in there and starting to feel better.
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Join Date: Jan 2021
Location: NC
Posts: 1,657
Hey everyone. I have had more tests done and seen the dentist and endodontist. I do have a bad tooth that will need to be pulled at some point. But the dentist did not think that would be causing all of the sore glands in my neck. Thyroid checked out okay. Also throat looks okay. Had a camera put down my nose to my throat. One symptom of PAWS is a feeling of doom like you are dying of some horrible disease. I have that in spades. Thank goodness I have good health insurance through work. The ENT yesterday did not think there is anything to worry about but ordered one more test next week to ease my mind. So now I am anxious about that. I am trying so hard not to worry but I was born a worrier according to my mother.
On a good note, yesterday I had the most dizzy free day since December. But it is back today. I just hope that is a sign of light at the end of the tunnel.
Sorry I haven't posted in a bit and thanks for reaching out. I am posting on Weekenders too and sometimes I forget what I said in what thread.
On a good note, yesterday I had the most dizzy free day since December. But it is back today. I just hope that is a sign of light at the end of the tunnel.
Sorry I haven't posted in a bit and thanks for reaching out. I am posting on Weekenders too and sometimes I forget what I said in what thread.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2020
Posts: 363
Glad you are less busy, Zura! I sometimes wish I was more busy... though that is partly on me. I can certainly find more things to do.
(((Hugs))) CBS! This PAWS thing sucks. I only had a relatively mild case of it, but was pretty non-functional for a few months.It's hard not to worry sometimes. I know I get sore throat from allergies, where I never used to. It was weird the first few years I got them, but later figured out it always happened around the same time of year, when certain trees were blooming.
I am still having more drinking thoughts lately. I hate it! Need to figure out a good recovery program that will work for me beyond my IOP. I know Tanky is doing AA... what about the rest of you?
(((Hugs))) CBS! This PAWS thing sucks. I only had a relatively mild case of it, but was pretty non-functional for a few months.It's hard not to worry sometimes. I know I get sore throat from allergies, where I never used to. It was weird the first few years I got them, but later figured out it always happened around the same time of year, when certain trees were blooming.
I am still having more drinking thoughts lately. I hate it! Need to figure out a good recovery program that will work for me beyond my IOP. I know Tanky is doing AA... what about the rest of you?
Member
Join Date: Dec 2020
Posts: 729
Hey Elly,
Lots of people seem to do SMART and get a lot out of it . I confess I still don’t really understand rational recovery/AVRT that well , because if I could have done that, I would have long ago. But I can see that program works a lot for a lot of people , too. I know it’s the “anti-program” program - but it is still a program of recovery.
If it helps , I really really didn’t want to do AA. I was full of contempt for it and resistance to more than just the “god thing”. I walked in because of my level of desperation. I keep going because of what I see, what I hear and what I feel and I can see so so much amazing transformation in me, already. I have laughed more in the last two or three weeks than in previous decade I reckon.
It’s actually 100 days sober for me today and 171 days gambling/gaming free ...and junior got added early by me - I am 4 days cigarette free. Think AA definitely helping me do something right. Even if I am
still crazy as fork. 😂😂😂
Lots of people seem to do SMART and get a lot out of it . I confess I still don’t really understand rational recovery/AVRT that well , because if I could have done that, I would have long ago. But I can see that program works a lot for a lot of people , too. I know it’s the “anti-program” program - but it is still a program of recovery.
If it helps , I really really didn’t want to do AA. I was full of contempt for it and resistance to more than just the “god thing”. I walked in because of my level of desperation. I keep going because of what I see, what I hear and what I feel and I can see so so much amazing transformation in me, already. I have laughed more in the last two or three weeks than in previous decade I reckon.
It’s actually 100 days sober for me today and 171 days gambling/gaming free ...and junior got added early by me - I am 4 days cigarette free. Think AA definitely helping me do something right. Even if I am
still crazy as fork. 😂😂😂
Member
Join Date: Oct 2019
Posts: 2,698
CBS - it sounds just dreadful for you, I think of you often and always hoping you get some relief soon.
Elly - I like being regular busy, crazy busy is well.....crazy lol I like me some work/life balance. Can't help on the programs but others have shared.
Tanky - Congratulations 🎉 that's awesome on all the milestones ☺️
Elly - I like being regular busy, crazy busy is well.....crazy lol I like me some work/life balance. Can't help on the programs but others have shared.
Tanky - Congratulations 🎉 that's awesome on all the milestones ☺️
Member
Join Date: Dec 2020
Posts: 363
Well, I blew it. Got tipsy at my husband's birthday party. WAAAy too much alcohol available and stress. I am so disappointed in myself. I am really happy he had such a good party, but I don't know how I am going to do this in the future. Maybe it is time for me to check out AA, Tanky. It just feels like so much of my pain is in the recent past, present and future.
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