Class of December 2020 Part 7
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Class of December 2020 Part 7
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Lixie is quick draw McGraw.
CBS, I guess the dream was lucid in that I changed the response from me somehow. Normally my trauma dreams are just essentially another way of re-experiencing trauma. Like flashbacks. I don’t remember ever being able to act differently in them before. So I count it as a win. Even though it would normally concern me that I am having them again.
I know why I am having them, I guess. It’s not like going in blind like in the past. Because I actually invited it in. So I know why some of my symptoms have been re-engaged so much. I know why I am in pain. It’s because I needed to actually experience it , really feel it, stop letting it run me. And I find that I can now , in a way I have not been able to before. It’s still damned painful and often very scary. But it’s hopeful, too.
today I do the next bit , where I tell another person about all of it. This is supposed to help healing. So I hope that it does. I realised as I did this work that whenever I have had to do a smaller version of this , whether in therapy or out of it, in the past, I have got massively drunk beforehand. Speaking about my trauma sober is essentially a new experience.
CBS, I guess the dream was lucid in that I changed the response from me somehow. Normally my trauma dreams are just essentially another way of re-experiencing trauma. Like flashbacks. I don’t remember ever being able to act differently in them before. So I count it as a win. Even though it would normally concern me that I am having them again.
I know why I am having them, I guess. It’s not like going in blind like in the past. Because I actually invited it in. So I know why some of my symptoms have been re-engaged so much. I know why I am in pain. It’s because I needed to actually experience it , really feel it, stop letting it run me. And I find that I can now , in a way I have not been able to before. It’s still damned painful and often very scary. But it’s hopeful, too.
today I do the next bit , where I tell another person about all of it. This is supposed to help healing. So I hope that it does. I realised as I did this work that whenever I have had to do a smaller version of this , whether in therapy or out of it, in the past, I have got massively drunk beforehand. Speaking about my trauma sober is essentially a new experience.
soberfighterwriter
Join Date: Jan 2020
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You know, Tanky, I've had trauma therapy and the most important thing that I did was to talk about my trauma, over and over again. It's as if the mind gets used to bringing it up and eventually it gets boring - believe it or not. It is exhausting the first thirty times, but then it gets better, I promise.
We're off to inspect the house, and our BIL is coming with us to check for the usual suspects, water damage, nasty critters, construction damages, asbestos, load bearing walls, chimneys etc. If it looks OK, the only thing left is to place that bid. Yikes, what if we're home owners tomorrow???
We're off to inspect the house, and our BIL is coming with us to check for the usual suspects, water damage, nasty critters, construction damages, asbestos, load bearing walls, chimneys etc. If it looks OK, the only thing left is to place that bid. Yikes, what if we're home owners tomorrow???
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Originally Posted by venuscat 
I am not sure why your Step 4 is opening up all of this dear Tanky 
s
Pease stay safe....do no harm to you love. xx ❤️
sPease stay safe....do no harm to you love. xx ❤️
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Join Date: Dec 2020
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Originally Posted by lixie
you know, tanky, i've had trauma therapy and the most important thing that i did was to talk about my trauma, over and over again. It's as if the mind gets used to bringing it up and eventually it gets boring - believe it or not. It is exhausting the first thirty times, but then it gets better, i promise.
We're off to inspect the house, and our bil is coming with us to check for the usual suspects, water damage, nasty critters, construction damages, asbestos, load bearing walls, chimneys etc. If it looks ok, the only thing left is to place that bid. Yikes, what if we're home owners tomorrow???
We're off to inspect the house, and our bil is coming with us to check for the usual suspects, water damage, nasty critters, construction damages, asbestos, load bearing walls, chimneys etc. If it looks ok, the only thing left is to place that bid. Yikes, what if we're home owners tomorrow???
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Join Date: Dec 2020
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Lixie, I didn’t mean to not acknowledge what you said to me as well. I appreciate that. That by talking about my trauma multiple times it will dissipate. I just wonder why the 8 years of trauma therapy didn’t manage it , I guess. So part of me is scared that this will not help either. But then as I admitted earlier, I was not sober then when I did trauma therapy. So is different.
soberfighterwriter
Join Date: Jan 2020
Posts: 1,724
Originally Posted by Tanky
Lixie, I didn’t mean to not acknowledge what you said to me as well. I appreciate that. That by talking about my trauma multiple times it will dissipate. I just wonder why the 8 years of trauma therapy didn’t manage it , I guess. So part of me is scared that this will not help either. But then as I admitted earlier, I was not sober then when I did trauma therapy. So is different.
soberfighterwriter
Join Date: Jan 2020
Posts: 1,724
Our bid was rejected (just as we expected, it was really low) and the seller didn't come back to us with a counter bid, so we're not sure this is going our way. We increased our bid and told the realtor that this is our top bid possible, and we'll know in around three hours if the seller accepts it or not. Gosh golly!
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Join Date: Dec 2020
Posts: 363
Awesome news, Liz! Congratulations!
Tanky, don't know much about trauma therapy, etc., but do know that I am thinking about you, and sending virtual hugs. The fact that you have more agency in your dreams seems like a positive step. Hope you continue to make progress, my dear.
Tanky, don't know much about trauma therapy, etc., but do know that I am thinking about you, and sending virtual hugs. The fact that you have more agency in your dreams seems like a positive step. Hope you continue to make progress, my dear.
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Join Date: Jan 2021
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Tanky I am thinking of you and hope your therapy is going well! Virtual hugs to you. Lixie congratulations on the house!
I had a good weekend after a kind of rough week. I kept very busy to keep my mind off my PAWS symptoms. Still suffering from dizziness/balance, numbness and tingling in my feet, back and hands some. Also lightheadedness, short term memory lapses and inability to experience joy. Sleep is better as is my appetite.
Day 136 sober.
Happy Monday!
I had a good weekend after a kind of rough week. I kept very busy to keep my mind off my PAWS symptoms. Still suffering from dizziness/balance, numbness and tingling in my feet, back and hands some. Also lightheadedness, short term memory lapses and inability to experience joy. Sleep is better as is my appetite.
Day 136 sober.
Happy Monday!
soberfighterwriter
Join Date: Jan 2020
Posts: 1,724
Hi guys. I'm leaving you for a while. My life has changed so much lately that I don't need to drink, but coming here kind of reminds me of it and I'd rather not think about it at all. I'll stop by and say hi and see how you are doing. Know that I love you and wish you well, and I'm rooting for you.
(If you want to see what we are doing to this house, you can follow us on instagram, we call ourselves "forfatterfruene", which translates into something like "writer wives")
(If you want to see what we are doing to this house, you can follow us on instagram, we call ourselves "forfatterfruene", which translates into something like "writer wives")
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Join Date: Oct 2019
Posts: 2,698
Best wishes on your new, and very exciting journey Lixie ❤️ would love to hear about your adventures when time permits but don't forget we are here if you hit the wobbles. Much love to you and good luck 🥰
My love to everyone else too ❤️
My love to everyone else too ❤️
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