Class of December 2020 Part 5
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Join Date: Dec 2020
Posts: 2,601
Originally Posted by bobdrop 
Hi RAL. Time to work on food choices here. Anti-inflammatory has been good before, so it's back to work on that. Diet has been terrible for months. I see you are doing well. Congrats!
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,445
Congrats on your milestones RAL, counsellor and everyone else adding another sober day today
welcome back Zura.
I think looking for help to deal with past trauma is a great idea
I hope tomorrow will be better for you Tanky
D
welcome back Zura.
I think looking for help to deal with past trauma is a great idea
I hope tomorrow will be better for you Tanky
D
Member
Join Date: Dec 2020
Posts: 363
Zura— Sorry you are struggling! I agree that getting some counseling would help. I am starting to appreciate my weekly appt. more, even if it is via Zoom. And just make sure you get back on the sober train.
And it was kind of funny when I put it together about the North— kind of a “doh!” moment.
One of these days I will make it to Australia... I have a second cousin living on the Gold Coast that I would like to see again and meet his family.
And it was kind of funny when I put it together about the North— kind of a “doh!” moment.
One of these days I will make it to Australia... I have a second cousin living on the Gold Coast that I would like to see again and meet his family.
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Join Date: Dec 2020
Location: Ontario
Posts: 541
Zura, great you're back at day 1. I'm not sure about your past trauma but there are groups called Adult Children of Alcoholics - I recently found out that this even existed last month and it has completely changed my outlook and understanding about my past choices. It's really helping me, and it doesn't just stick to literal Children of 'Alcoholics', but much more in terms of possible childhood circumstances that may be influencing us in adulthood.
Tanky, ehhh I remember the frustrating sleep of the early days, totally sucks, and yes, it will pass.
Tanky, ehhh I remember the frustrating sleep of the early days, totally sucks, and yes, it will pass.
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Join Date: Oct 2019
Posts: 2,698
That sounds awesome Chancellor, thanks for the recommendation. I do alot of reading on psychology and addiction etc and my latest favourite author is Gabor Mate although I've only listened to podcasts. I like his work because he talks about the universalism of addiction (not just substance based ones). But his main points are addiction initially is a response to childhood trauma and takes a compassion based approach. I've also heard that as the wounding happened in relationship that it needs to be healed in relationship so I'm hopeful if I can find a really kind psychologist maybe it will help. It's hard because the wrong type can cause further damage and I've had that quite a few times and will not be having a repeat of that! One actually laughed at something I disclosed and I thought hmmmm yeah there's just as many dysfunctional therapists as clients 😅 but I've probably just been unlucky the odds will have to eventually tip in my favour? Maybe? Hopefully 🤷
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Join Date: Dec 2020
Posts: 729
Originally Posted by Zura
That sounds awesome Chancellor, thanks for the recommendation. I do alot of reading on psychology and addiction etc and my latest favourite author is Gabor Mate although I've only listened to podcasts. I like his work because he talks about the universalism of addiction (not just substance based ones). But his main points are addiction initially is a response to childhood trauma and takes a compassion based approach. I've also heard that as the wounding happened in relationship that it needs to be healed in relationship so I'm hopeful if I can find a really kind psychologist maybe it will help. It's hard because the wrong type can cause further damage and I've had that quite a few times and will not be having a repeat of that! One actually laughed at something I disclosed and I thought hmmmm yeah there's just as many dysfunctional therapists as clients 😅 but I've probably just been unlucky the odds will have to eventually tip in my favour? Maybe? Hopefully 🤷
Still remember the psychologist I once saw before I found my “gold” psych, who I basically randomly selected on the basis of her profile - which claimed she was an clinical
psych w expertise on relevant things like childhood trauma etc. I knew I was getting very ill and needed help ASAP. but I just wasn’t clicking with her for some reason, and then in like my third (and last) session with her, first she asked me whether I could perhaps call my father and really be honest with him about how much I was struggling right now , as she was concerned I was at risk (I’d already told her he was dead in the previous session - ffs look at your damn notes!!) and then when I disclosed something about my early trauma, asked me something along the lines of whether “ I liked the attention” . I managed an astonished “uh, no” and got up to leave. She said even if I left , I would still have to pay. And then remembered to express concern that I may harm myself and asked what I would do when I left her office for self-care. I said I would drink and most probably find something sharp. It’s actually kinda funny to me now. But possibly wasn’t good at time.
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Join Date: Oct 2019
Posts: 2,698
Oh dear Tanky that wasn't very helpful for you, insensitivity in a therapist dealing with intense vulnerability is definitely bad juju as you said. I will keep our fingers crossed that we can both find someone gold 😊 I have had success with hotline trauma counselors as opposed to face to face, I've had some wonderful discussions with some really lovely, compassionate and helpful people so they do exist.
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Join Date: Dec 2020
Posts: 2,601
Morning all.
Tanky - what an awful experience with a therapist
I suppose like anything in life there are people who are good and bad at their jobs but that sounds awful.
Zura-I hope you have had a peaceful day and sleep well tonight. The sober days will soon be stacking up again
Chancellor-thanks for the info on ACOA. Ive never been in therapy or seen anyone. It's not the 'done' thing in the UK as it is in the USA or Aus. If you need to see someone it's a helluva trek to try and get someone. How are you doing today?
Elly - great to see you
Bob - Hope you have a good day
Barnaby-are you ok?
Lixie-hope you are doing ok too.
Day 43. Got a headache. Stayed up too late watching Netflix! I was thinking about food choices after what Bob said last night. Since getting sober this time, I have made much better food choices and feel so much better. My blood sugar is stable as a result. I wonder if this is the reason I'm not getting significant cravings for wine. As well as being a mental crutch I wonder if my desire for wine was a sugar craving. Anyway I won't dwell on it too much as whatever it is it is working.
I haven't been to a SMART meeting all week so will go to one tonight. My new book-the wine o clock myth arrived yesterday too so I'll start into that. Plus got some studying to do. It feels good to do it with a clear head.
Take care folks.x
Tanky - what an awful experience with a therapist
I suppose like anything in life there are people who are good and bad at their jobs but that sounds awful.Zura-I hope you have had a peaceful day and sleep well tonight. The sober days will soon be stacking up again
Chancellor-thanks for the info on ACOA. Ive never been in therapy or seen anyone. It's not the 'done' thing in the UK as it is in the USA or Aus. If you need to see someone it's a helluva trek to try and get someone. How are you doing today?
Elly - great to see you
Bob - Hope you have a good day
Barnaby-are you ok?
Lixie-hope you are doing ok too.
Day 43. Got a headache. Stayed up too late watching Netflix! I was thinking about food choices after what Bob said last night. Since getting sober this time, I have made much better food choices and feel so much better. My blood sugar is stable as a result. I wonder if this is the reason I'm not getting significant cravings for wine. As well as being a mental crutch I wonder if my desire for wine was a sugar craving. Anyway I won't dwell on it too much as whatever it is it is working.
I haven't been to a SMART meeting all week so will go to one tonight. My new book-the wine o clock myth arrived yesterday too so I'll start into that. Plus got some studying to do. It feels good to do it with a clear head.
Take care folks.x
soberfighterwriter
Join Date: Jan 2020
Posts: 1,732
Zura, I have PTSD after a childhood trauma and I wanted the same as you, tools to manage the present and look to the future. I was convinced that my wound had to heal, that by constantly picking on it, it would stay open. But it was only when I faced my demons in an intensive inpatient treatment that I was able to put it behind me. I'm not saying that this is the only solution, this is what worked for me. I still struggle, I have always avoided my emotions and have done everything I can to feel something else by eating too much, drinking too much, harming myself (and the list goes on), but every day I stay away from those coping mechanism I get better. My lovely partner has taught me that I am worthy of love, that I'm not that horrible person I always thought I was, and my self worth is improving.
I guess I just want to say that I understand your struggle, and my heart goes out to you. I'm in your corner.
I guess I just want to say that I understand your struggle, and my heart goes out to you. I'm in your corner.
soberfighterwriter
Join Date: Jan 2020
Posts: 1,732
RAL, I'm so happy that we're in the same class! I love reading your posts. Hope you feel better soon.
Barnaby, my sober twin, are you OK?
Bob, good to see you!
Tanky, thinking of you.
Elly, Chancellor, how are you?
And Venus, SR's fairy godmother and greatest supporter, big hug to you!
Day 6 for me, and day 7 eating low carb. I feel great, and I think I'll post again later to put it into words why.
Wish you all a wonderful day!
Hope you feel better soon.Barnaby, my sober twin, are you OK?
Bob, good to see you!
Tanky, thinking of you.
Elly, Chancellor, how are you?
And Venus, SR's fairy godmother and greatest supporter, big hug to you!
Day 6 for me, and day 7 eating low carb. I feel great, and I think I'll post again later to put it into words why.
Wish you all a wonderful day!
I am so glad to be in this class too 
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Join Date: Dec 2020
Posts: 2,601
So I am going to treat myself when al this covid stuff is over (hopefully). As any of you who know me might know I love going on holiday. Now I am sober holidays will be an adventure for exploring. Not an excuse to drink every day on the sun So I am going to go to all the places I have always wanted to go to. Think the money saved in wine will more than cover it. These are my aims - Cuba, Israel, Bangkok, Russia, Panama. Maybe a bit random. Think I might book a cruise for 1 of them. Anyway just thoughts for a sunday morning!
So I am going to go to all the places I have always wanted to go to. Think the money saved in wine will more than cover it. These are my aims - Cuba, Israel, Bangkok, Russia, Panama. Maybe a bit random. Think I might book a cruise for 1 of them. Anyway just thoughts for a sunday morning!
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