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Class of December 2020 Part 5

Old 01-15-2021, 11:12 AM
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That's great news Zura, I hope you take care of yourself
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Old 01-15-2021, 11:50 AM
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Hello beautiful Team D,

So Day 2 , huh. Have the shakes this morning and icky nausea - but my brain is clear. So nice. Will enjoy it while it lasts. Feeling like the relapse just is what it is. just part of the learning for me. It’s because I am an alcoholic - duh! and the mental obsession remains at the moment. Soon will be different.

venus - so good to hear about your plans for self-care. I want to squeeze you for resolving to be good to my friend.

ral - you are smashing this thing. So aware of what you need and striving for balance at all times. Feel the strength in you with each day

Lixie - I will try not to stalk you across two classes , as tempting as it is. So glad you are having a good day. Let’s do this. 🙏

zura - good that pain improved. how are you today, my sweet?

barnaby - glad you are feeling positive . Keep going.

elly - thanks again for your support and care and wise words. (Well, from everyone here too.) It really does help. How are you going?

chancellor - stop talking so much. 😉
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Old 01-15-2021, 01:56 PM
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Hope you feel better soon Tanky, sure you will. Great to see you posting

Feel yucky too. Bad head. early bed for me. Night folks and take care.x
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Old 01-15-2021, 02:15 PM
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Sleep well darling RAL, and so much love to all of you. s ❤️
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Old 01-15-2021, 03:08 PM
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Hi kids! Day 30 since my lapse, and almost 4 months since I really got serious about my problem (because my problem got serious). I am doing pretty well so far, but whenever I get stressed and feel crummy from PAWS I still crave. Just have to take it day by day. Doing my program 3 nights a week and checking in here helps. Yoga also helps some as well with this anxiety I get.

Tanky— glad you are back on the wagon with us! Don’t be embarrassed to get help for MH issues.

venus—- hope you are taking better care of yourself these days!

zura— Are you still doing your yoga?
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Old 01-15-2021, 03:19 PM
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Wait, who was doing yoga?
RAL — I know what you mean about days of the week during lockdown. It’s not like we can go out and do anything on the weekend! It does make it easier that all the bars and pubs are closed, though I would like to just go out to eat or watch a movie on the big screen! We have had weirdly warm weather here in CA, and we can’t even go out to eat outdoors!
zura — glad you are feeling a bit better.
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Old 01-15-2021, 03:48 PM
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Elly I think a few of us talked about yoga. I was going to start the 30 days with Andrienne along side someone else who had just started it.....was it you who was doing that one? Anyway it did not eventuate for me. Maybe I should give it a red hot crack as I'm in a huge funk.
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Old 01-15-2021, 03:52 PM
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Sorry to hear your feeling yucky RAL, I hope you wake up feeling refreshed and well
Tanky - I'm a bit blah, trying to pull myself out of it. Thanks for thinking of me with all your going through.

Venus - love to you too 🥰 hope it was a nice day for you and tomorrow is even better
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Old 01-15-2021, 04:03 PM
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Oh Elly, congrats on 30 days honey!!! s ❤️

And you can bet I am looking after myself....in total contrast to my life before sobriety, when I say something now, I act on it immediately.
And you are all so lovely...this thread is very special.
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Old 01-15-2021, 04:30 PM
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Originally Posted by Zura View Post
Elly I think a few of us talked about yoga. I was going to start the 30 days with Andrienne along side someone else who had just started it.....was it you who was doing that one? Anyway it did not eventuate for me. Maybe I should give it a red hot crack as I'm in a huge funk.
It was me who started yoga. I didn’t get very far. I think have done it maybe three times. I am still quite chaotic in my ability to do the kinds of stuff that many of you seem to be good at. Eg Sticking to daily schedules/plans. Eating/sleeping schedules. That kind of thing. Apart from going to meetings. Managing that one each day. ✅

TBH, I have a bit of a hate-hate relationship with this kind of structure - even though I accept it is helpful and may reduce my general level of life incompetence. And let’s be honest, I had no problem scheduling in drinking every day.

I sometimes get scared or depressed by such things in themselves. Is that all there is? Lists are just things I won’t do, schedules are things I won’t keep and both will require self-admonishment or punishment later. Even in recovery, after initially improving my disgraceful attendance and punctuality at work , last week when I was increasingly stressed, I turned up to work at 9.45am and 10am last two days of my work week and went back to skipping the fist ten minutes of work meetings. Just like the old days.

But have found some ways forward through small non-overwhelming things - like the suggestion in SR that I tackle my sad alcoholic’s house that I hate and can now see by setting a five minute timer and doing as much as I can in that time. (And usually resetting timer a couple of times because 5 mins is not enough). This breaks through my fear.

I will try yoga again today. because anxiety is back already. Dammit. So much for the peaceful brain. 😂
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Old 01-15-2021, 04:45 PM
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Oh Tanky, I am NOT a structured person either, I have the same feelings towards lists and routine. Not that I don't work hard or accomplish things because I do and I certainly used to do things in a very structured way once upon a time. Anyway, I thought it might be helpful to fill in time by trying the organised scheduled approach in early sobriety.....for me it works for a couple of days and then I have to go back to going with the flow. I think the most important thing is your making time for things that support your sobriety and you've said you go regularly to meetings.
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Old 01-15-2021, 05:58 PM
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Tanky— I am not structured either. I have been doing yoga mostly because it is one of the few things that tames my anxiety these days. And I am doing it every other day... although I am trying to make myself do 5 minutes every day. I am really not getting much done at all these days. I am just focusing on staying sober.
And I have had my share of “is that all there is?” days lately. I am trying desperately to feel good about sobriety right now.
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Old 01-15-2021, 06:14 PM
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Change is a process rather than an event. Keep the faith guys - you are on the right road

D
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Old 01-15-2021, 07:40 PM
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Also, Tanky, be kind to yourself... We are quitting drinking and that is really an amazing thing.
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Old 01-16-2021, 12:41 AM
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Morning folks Happy Sober Saturday Every day waking up sober is special but Saturdays are extra special.

elly - Many congrats on 30 days

I was doing the beginner yoga with Adrienne tho not done it all week. I will do it today.

Dee-thanks for that. It helps to remember it is a process, a forever process. It's not just one day and that's it. It's a life changing process -albeit a good one

Reading about structure is very interesting. I am a very structured, organised person. I do lists all the time But since I've stopped drinking I feel quite sluggish some days and have no energy to even write the list never mind do anything on it!

Day 42. Think that is 6 weeks. I have lost 12 pounds in weight and do look better. Mostly feel better too with the odd bad day. Thanks to you all
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Old 01-16-2021, 05:13 AM
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Originally Posted by Tanky View Post

chancellor - stop talking so much. 😉
Haha! Ok, I'll shut it up
Congrats on Day 2 Tanky - the first couple weeks are so hard I've found in my past tries. Today is day 23 for me and Saturdays are the toughest for me as it's my usual for sure drinking night because Sundays are my one day off. But I'm gonna try and hold strong, I'm feeling so much better since my last drink and I've accomplished so much more in these past 23 days than I ever would've if I'd been drinking. I gotta just keep that in mind. Also, one day at a time and this saying I heard which I really love:

'Keeping doing what you're doing if you want to keep going where you're going". So (f-word) true for leading down either a good path or a downward spiral.

Happy Saturday everyone.
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Old 01-16-2021, 05:16 AM
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Congrats on 6 weeks darling RAL!!!!!! s

And 23 days dear Chancellor!!!! s

And I like that saying a lot. ❤️
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Old 01-16-2021, 06:40 AM
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Originally Posted by Chancellor View Post
Haha! Ok, I'll shut it up
Congrats on Day 2 Tanky - the first couple weeks are so hard I've found in my past tries. Today is day 23 for me and Saturdays are the toughest for me as it's my usual for sure drinking night because Sundays are my one day off. But I'm gonna try and hold strong, I'm feeling so much better since my last drink and I've accomplished so much more in these past 23 days than I ever would've if I'd been drinking. I gotta just keep that in mind. Also, one day at a time and this saying I heard which I really love:

'Keeping doing what you're doing if you want to keep going where you're going". So (f-word) true for leading down either a good path or a downward spiral.

Happy Saturday everyone.
awesome saying , chancellor. Congrats on day 23. You sound so centred. Lovely to hear.

I will try to channel some of your calm as I struggle with the early anxiety and not sleeping tonight. (So it’s technically day 3 now for me because it’s 1.40am. This too shall pass.)
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Old 01-16-2021, 07:00 AM
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Yes it will love. s xx ❤️❤️
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Old 01-16-2021, 09:41 AM
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Wishing you better sleep, Tanky! I have been waking up entirely to early lately myself.
Congrats on Day 42 RAL!
I think I may need to start doing meetings again on days I am not doing outpatient. I still haven’t tried a SMART meeting yet... kind of nervous about it, as it seems to require more participation than an Aa meeting does. Ironically, it feels like it would be easier in person in some respects. When I go to AA meetings on line I just sit back and listen, as I am afraid of having someone ask about me getting a sponsor.

Good to see everyone checking in! Let’s make it through the weekend sober!
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