Class of October 2020 part 1
Member
Join Date: Jan 2020
Location: Australia
Posts: 1,097
Glad you're back with us Phil.
I spent a lot of time wanting to be a normie and started seriously questioning why I couldn't be. I'd just spent over three months sober and really struggled with the idea that I had control over my abstinence, but couldn't have enough control to just have a drink or two on occasions. I knew from all my reading on SR and from my own limited experience that once we are alcohol dependent, there is no such thing as only one drink. So I gave up driving my sobriety and trusted that this was the case. But I think I had provided AV with a bit of a crack to open up wider, as it wasn't long after that I accepted a drink (long story, but a particularly bad day) and was back to being a drunk in no time at all.
Dee often says, don't confuse abstinence with control. I hope I have really learned this lesson and have added more to my plan to make sure I don't fall into that trap again.
As you say, it will get easier and better as time goes on. If you're already starting to feel better on day 3, then you are well on track to be feeling great really soon!
I spent a lot of time wanting to be a normie and started seriously questioning why I couldn't be. I'd just spent over three months sober and really struggled with the idea that I had control over my abstinence, but couldn't have enough control to just have a drink or two on occasions. I knew from all my reading on SR and from my own limited experience that once we are alcohol dependent, there is no such thing as only one drink. So I gave up driving my sobriety and trusted that this was the case. But I think I had provided AV with a bit of a crack to open up wider, as it wasn't long after that I accepted a drink (long story, but a particularly bad day) and was back to being a drunk in no time at all.
Dee often says, don't confuse abstinence with control. I hope I have really learned this lesson and have added more to my plan to make sure I don't fall into that trap again.
As you say, it will get easier and better as time goes on. If you're already starting to feel better on day 3, then you are well on track to be feeling great really soon!
Member
Join Date: Mar 2014
Posts: 25,373
Aww, Phil.
You sounded so peaceful and centered after that one sober day-trip you took a couple weeks back.
You'll get back there.
I don't think there's any shame in having a genetic disorder that causes an inability to process alcohol like "normies" do. It's like having fair skin: can't change it so wear sunscreen!
You sounded so peaceful and centered after that one sober day-trip you took a couple weeks back.
You'll get back there.
I don't think there's any shame in having a genetic disorder that causes an inability to process alcohol like "normies" do. It's like having fair skin: can't change it so wear sunscreen!
Member
Join Date: Oct 2020
Location: England
Posts: 520
So pleased you're homeward-bound, FF
Hope day 3 is treating you well, Back
Glad you're back in the sober saddle, Phil
Brilliant job on 11 days, Matrac!
I am part-way through day 3 and posting here now because this is my most difficult time of day. I spent the morning clearing leaves and other garden rubbish and I've just had lunch. I'm so so tempted to have an ice cream or some chocolate but I know that that will lead me straight to hell
. So I'm focussing on all the millions of reasons as to why bingeing is a really bad idea! Reading all the wise and hard-won insights on here is amazingly helpful xxx
Hope day 3 is treating you well, Back
Glad you're back in the sober saddle, Phil
Brilliant job on 11 days, Matrac!
I am part-way through day 3 and posting here now because this is my most difficult time of day. I spent the morning clearing leaves and other garden rubbish and I've just had lunch. I'm so so tempted to have an ice cream or some chocolate but I know that that will lead me straight to hell
. So I'm focussing on all the millions of reasons as to why bingeing is a really bad idea! Reading all the wise and hard-won insights on here is amazingly helpful xxx
Member
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: German Village, Columbus with my love ♥
Posts: 88,709
Welcome to the group dear luvchunk! 
s xx
You know what they say: it's always darkest before the dawn.
And then the sun rises, and the colours are beautiful....hang on....it will get way better! ❤️
s xxYou know what they say: it's always darkest before the dawn.
And then the sun rises, and the colours are beautiful....hang on....it will get way better! ❤️
Member
Join Date: May 2015
Location: USA
Posts: 344
Originally Posted by Coz 
And Daria - make sure you keep some time aside for you to relax - hopefully that opportunity is getting closer. Remember the 'T' in HALT is for tired. Much harder to battle or ignore AV if you are hungry, angry, lonely or TIRED.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2020
Location: Australia
Posts: 1,097
Welcome to the sober October class TJ, Luvchunk and Five.
TJ - hope TJ is OK to use (I'm a slack typer!) Day three and no major withdrawals is fantastic. Don't let it fool you into thinking that quitting is easy! From my experience it is far from easy and it gets harder each time I try. So this time I'm not trying, I'm doing.
Luvchunk - in addition to Suze's dawn and sunrise analogy, I also like that there is no rainbow without some rain. It really does get better - I read it here on SR and it is one of my favourite thread subscriptions. Have a read sometime: https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums...ts-better.html (It Gets Better)
Five - your back-to-front dates are a challenge for me, but I think congratulations on a week sober is in order? Well done!
Daria - great that there is a relief in sight. Just a few more days to go. Take care of you whenever you get a chance.
Devizes - you are doing so well. It seems like we are giving up things in early withdrawal, but we really aren't - all we are doing is moving on from a destructive behaviour which is great to give up.
FF - welcome home!
BTG, Jewel, everyone - how are you going?
I'm off to play in the mangroves - have a great day/night all....
TJ - hope TJ is OK to use (I'm a slack typer!) Day three and no major withdrawals is fantastic. Don't let it fool you into thinking that quitting is easy! From my experience it is far from easy and it gets harder each time I try. So this time I'm not trying, I'm doing.
Luvchunk - in addition to Suze's dawn and sunrise analogy, I also like that there is no rainbow without some rain. It really does get better - I read it here on SR and it is one of my favourite thread subscriptions. Have a read sometime: https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums...ts-better.html (It Gets Better)
Five - your back-to-front dates are a challenge for me, but I think congratulations on a week sober is in order? Well done!
Daria - great that there is a relief in sight. Just a few more days to go. Take care of you whenever you get a chance.
Devizes - you are doing so well. It seems like we are giving up things in early withdrawal, but we really aren't - all we are doing is moving on from a destructive behaviour which is great to give up.
FF - welcome home!
BTG, Jewel, everyone - how are you going?
I'm off to play in the mangroves - have a great day/night all....
Member
Join Date: Oct 2019
Posts: 42
The last time I posted here, I think I mentioned that I wasn't quite ready for sobriety. I would take a few days off every week or so and that was that.
But recently something seems to have clicked internally and I've just lost all desire to drink. It doesn't interest me and I've barely noticed the absence since I've stopped. Today will be 8 days clean. I'm not sure what is happening, and I know it will become more challenging, but I plan to ride this momentum and develop a plan. I can finally envision a sober life that is satisfying, which I don't think I have been able to in the past.
But recently something seems to have clicked internally and I've just lost all desire to drink. It doesn't interest me and I've barely noticed the absence since I've stopped. Today will be 8 days clean. I'm not sure what is happening, and I know it will become more challenging, but I plan to ride this momentum and develop a plan. I can finally envision a sober life that is satisfying, which I don't think I have been able to in the past.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2020
Posts: 1,189
Hey, day 3. Slept better, still feel like my whole body aches. Really frustrated with my son's online schooling...i mean everybody is, the teachers, the kids, and the parents. I'm trying to keep it together, but my patience is running thin. And it's not my 9 year olds fault. I'm adjust on edge and feel at that well. Going to get out for a walk today if i can. Enough whining for me! Congrats FF getting to go home 
And i hope you'll are having a great sober day! Check in 2marrow!
And i hope you'll are having a great sober day! Check in 2marrow!
Member
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: German Village, Columbus with my love ♥
Posts: 88,709
Backtogood.....so proud of you. 3 days is sensational.
Here with you all the way to commiserate with the aches and the homeschooling nightmare. xxxxxxx s
And Joe ~ it's kind of amazing when that shift happens, and we feel ready to embrace a sober journey.
With you every step. xx
Here with you all the way to commiserate with the aches and the homeschooling nightmare. xxxxxxx
sAnd Joe ~ it's kind of amazing when that shift happens, and we feel ready to embrace a sober journey.
With you every step.
xx
Member
Join Date: May 2015
Location: USA
Posts: 344
End of day 3 here. I had a couple moments today where I wanted to cave and go get some cider, but I didn't. Instead I either ate or went for a run. I tried to remind myself that there are things I want more in life and drinking isn't going to help me get there.
In the end, I had a somewhat productive day as far as school goes. Headed to bed to read for a bit and then sleep. Tomorrow is another day!
I hope RAL and Jewel are doing well. I haven't seen them in the last few days.
In the end, I had a somewhat productive day as far as school goes. Headed to bed to read for a bit and then sleep. Tomorrow is another day!
I hope RAL and Jewel are doing well. I haven't seen them in the last few days.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2020
Posts: 1,189
3rd day was crap. I wanted to drink so bad, i even searched the house for anything i might have hid. My husband and had thrown everything out 3 days ago. He came home, i knew he had a few. He lied, we argued. I bawled like a baby, I've been so emotional with this new path. He came more wasted than I've seen him in a long time. He started crying, which he only does when he is emotionally drunk and now is passed out. I've never been so happy that he threw away that alcohol, cause now i see what i can be like stumbling drunk. When he was crying i know he is suffering as much as i am, his is just more internal, I'm an open book of this is my reality. Today sucked and he probably won't remember in the morning, but we all suffer different and i can't wait for day 4.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2020
Location: England
Posts: 520
I'm ashamed to say that I slipped again yesterday. I tried distraction and it worked for a while but then I thought I'd just have a snack and it all went wrong.
I worry that inside I just don't believe I will ever beat this, so what is the point? Or, worse, that I don't really want to beat it so any attempt will be half-hearted
But I DO want to beat it and I KNOW change is possible. I'm still an Octoberite and I still have all of you and you are amazing
I worry that inside I just don't believe I will ever beat this, so what is the point? Or, worse, that I don't really want to beat it so any attempt will be half-hearted
But I DO want to beat it and I KNOW change is possible. I'm still an Octoberite and I still have all of you and you are amazing
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 3 (0 members and 3 guests)
