Class of October 2020 part 1
 

Our September 2020 thread is here
https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums...rt-2-a-12.html

D

Hi to everyone joining the October class. I'm keen to join you in getting through October sober and then for many more months.
It is day 3 in my recovery and looking forward to sharing the challenges, successes and stories with others in early recovery.

welcome Coz :)

D

I got sober in September but I think I'm going to post in the October class because my sobriety feels very precarious right now.

I'm feeling very paranoid. Only it doesn't feel like paranoia. I feel like everyone really is watching me. And I'm on anti psychotic so surely if it was just paranoia they would reduce it. I feel like everyone thinks I'm a monster. And maybe I was a monster in the past but I'm not now. And I wish they'd leave me alone. My counselor thinks I'm just being paranoid. My parents think I'm just being paranoid. But it feels so real to me.

Well it's day 14 now.

Congrats on 2 weeks FF and welcome aboard. Try and stay busy and engaged - I dunno about you, but spending too much time in my own head is not always a good thing?

D

Hi Coz. October is my favorite month. To nice to waste on alcohol. Day 3 is hard. Looking forward to hearing your challenges and successes.

Freedomfires, why do you feel everyone thinks your a monstor? Feeling it is real to you can be as bad as it being real. When it's in our heads it might as well be real for us. 14 days is great. Keep doing what works for you. If your sobriety is feeling precarious right now then look for more possible solutions to the problem of the drink.

Hang in there man. Glad you are here.

Thanks Dee, it's my birthday month too.

I've done some really bad things in the past that I think everyone knows about.

Me too. Everyone has to some degree. My family doesn't tell me I'm paranoid........
Separate you from your actions. Especially those of a negative nature from the past. I like that you know you are not now. Stick with that.

I did, too. But it never made me feel “my sobriety is precarious”.

My sobriety was precarious purely because I had not had a drink in a while and everything was going better and my strong habituated appetite’s (my AV’s) desire to get that same old deep pleasure was building up again and I hadn’t decided to quit for good, yet. “Be careful.” “Figure out a good time and place so if you lose control again you can hide out for a day, because people might be watching.”

It was remembering the bad things I’d done on alcohol, like you trashing your sister, that made me finally decide to never drink again - just like you did about ten days ago. Practicing AVRT is not hard, but your AV simply doesn’t want you to do it.

That “precarious sobriety” is just your AV. Recognize and dismiss. College will always be there, you are far from being a dummy. You know what to do.

Thanks GT. Saying my sobriety is precarious is definitely AV. I will never drink again and I will never change my mind.

Isn’t’ it weird how your signature with your Big Plan disappeared from the bottom of this post (#4) up above?

I was posting from my phone, maybe that's why? Very weird though.

October is indeed a beautiful time to enjoy the weather. :)
And a wonderful time to get sober, and to continue this journey.

Also October is my month....class of October 14. :)
Onward together! :) hug: s ❤️

Congrats on six years.

I vowed not to turn another birthday as a drunk, so here it is, my birthday month.

All kinds of ugliness of late, and yet somehow I get away with it. No more. My body is screaming at me.
So count me in for October. At this point it either sticks, or I'm out. Sadly, I hardly care one way or the other, despite having everything a person could want. Something is still missing. I won't find what's missing unless I'm sober. So count me in.

I care dear Pelagic. :hug: s
We all do.
And I know you can do this. :) :hug: s ❤️

And thanks dear ff....not until the endo of the month. :)
Congrats on two weeks for you....awesome!!!!! :hug: ❤️

Good for you P. You can do it. When is your birthday?

Welcome to SR, October people! I celebrate 9 months of sobriety tomorrow after many years of daily drinking and I just wanted to let you all know that sobriety is possible for us all. Last night I got into a new show on netflix and I'm loving it so much. 9 months ago had no interest at all in watching TV, I just wanted to numb out and drink. Be patient and you will see that time heals! :)

Thanks Suze. I'm glad I reached two weeks because I was struggling to string together more than a few days lately. But I'm confident I'll remain sober this time. I e made my big plan and I'm practicing AVRT. Still on the vape for now but I can quit that in due time. At least I'm off the diet soda. I was drinking stupid amounts of that stuff.