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Class of June Support Thread 2020 Part 2

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Old 06-25-2020, 09:04 AM
  # 81 (permalink)  
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Ready to kick Day 6's ass. However... Last night the drinking dreams began... ugh. I guess a better word is nightmare.

Other than that, all is well here. Nice day, not too warm. Just had breakfast, going to tend to the dog and then some cleaning. Hope everyone has a good, sober day
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Old 06-25-2020, 09:15 AM
  # 82 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by venuscat View Post
I was going to say something about the steps.....they don't need to be intimidating at all dear FF.
They are a program for life....for freedom.

Step 1: “We admitted we were powerless over alcohol and that our lives had become unmanageable.”

Is this true for you? It sure is for me.
Say it out loud...I admit that I am powerless over alcohol and my life has become unmanageable.

I remember the first time I saw it in a meeting....I smiled.....thought "well duh".

Now some AAers will have you write about the ways your life has become unmanageable if they are sponsoring you or guiding you through the steps. (Mind you if this is Rational Recovery I have know idea what the steps are).

But you have already written pages on that dear FF.....right here.
So if you can say that out loud and feel that it is true for you, you have just done Step 1.

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Originally Posted by venuscat View Post
I hear you. s ❤️
It might be basic, but it is true.
And you needed to say it out loud so to speak.

So on to step 2.....

“We came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity.”

For me, the power greater than myself has always been the group....the AA group.....this group.....
Yeah that seems easy enough until you get to the fearless moral inventory part.

Originally Posted by Reid82 View Post
FF, I can't remember what you said the last time when we recommended Rehab? But you clearly need to do something a lot more concrete to stay
sober. I don't think you appreciate the power of your addiction being honest- I mean come on, drinking hand sanitizer to get drunk is bottom of the barrel stuff here!
There's no two ways about it. I danced with the Devil too close for a long time too, was lucky to escape in the end. You're only going to get limited chances at this thing (recovery)
I'll think about it. But you know hand sanitizer isn't that bad. I only drank it before because I was desperate but I have money now and it goes down about as well as cheap vodka. It sounds more rock bottom than it actually is. I prefer it to listerine.
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Old 06-25-2020, 09:56 AM
  # 83 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by freedomfries View Post
I'll think about it. But you know hand sanitizer isn't that bad. I only drank it before because I was desperate but I have money now and it goes down about as well as cheap vodka. It sounds more rock bottom than it actually is. I prefer it to listerine.
Sorry FF, I don't buy that. Cheap Vodka however cheap is meant for human consumption, hand sanitizer is not, period! Ask anyone what they would think of drinking hand sanitizer and they would think you're crazy and is 100% not normal. Sounds like your addiction has you fully convinced about your behavior. I hope you can eventually see this and get the help you need.
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Old 06-25-2020, 10:56 AM
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Originally Posted by freedomfries View Post
Yeah that seems easy enough until you get to the fearless moral inventory part.



I'll think about it. But you know hand sanitizer isn't that bad. I only drank it before because I was desperate but I have money now and it goes down about as well as cheap vodka. It sounds more rock bottom than it actually is. I prefer it to listerine.
Freedom-think that is your AV out in force tonight Hand sanitizer is not meant for human consumption. It is toxic. I mean I know alcohol is poison but that is designed for humans to drink. It's really really scary to see you writing that you think hand sanitizer is ok to drink - that's seriously flawed thinking. Mixed with antabuse too-it's such a dangerous game you are playing and could easily die. Can you see your GP or contact a rehab or both. things are starting to open up again I think.
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Old 06-25-2020, 11:24 AM
  # 85 (permalink)  
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Listae, make this your last day 1, your last hangover. Get motivated and do whatever it takes to protect your sobriety. Get mad. Make your AV the enemy. Look at my signature, that is the way I think about it. One thing I can see that I am sure you can as well is that trigger. Make a plan for it and have some yummy food already prepared.

Lixie, just get back at it and make sure you post here. What was the kicker? Have you told your partner about your relationship with alcohol?

I am going to be making it a week today. At this time last week I was just wrapping up my drinking binge. I remember I was drinking but having trouble because I was slightly sick. I literally was drinking just to wait until later in the day for my hangover to start.
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Old 06-25-2020, 11:34 AM
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Originally Posted by MaximusD View Post
Listae, make this your last day 1, your last hangover. Get motivated and do whatever it takes to protect your sobriety. Get mad. Make your AV the enemy. Look at my signature, that is the way I think about it. One thing I can see that I am sure you can as well is that trigger. Make a plan for it and have some yummy food already prepared.

Lixie, just get back at it and make sure you post here. What was the kicker? Have you told your partner about your relationship with alcohol?

I am going to be making it a week today. At this time last week I was just wrapping up my drinking binge. I remember I was drinking but having trouble because I was slightly sick. I literally was drinking just to wait until later in the day for my hangover to start.
Thank you Maximus: I needed to read this post and I need to read it right now because it is 2:30 (near when the worst part of the hangover start wearing down) and when I start to justify the AV coaxing me into "just have a glass of wine with your lunch." BUT I CAN'T. ALCOHOLISM IS NOT SOMETHING TO PLAY; SO, SHUT UP AV! SHUT UP AV!
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Old 06-25-2020, 11:42 AM
  # 87 (permalink)  
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Eat something
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Old 06-25-2020, 11:45 AM
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Yes. Shut up AV. It wants to be fed and keep you in the darkness. Don’t listen to that voice. Keep speaking out loud at it if you need to. That helps me. Keep posting Listae. It only gets better after day one.
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Old 06-25-2020, 12:49 PM
  # 89 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by PuckLuck View Post
Ready to kick Day 6's ass. However... Last night the drinking dreams began... ugh. I guess a better word is nightmare.

Other than that, all is well here. Nice day, not too warm. Just had breakfast, going to tend to the dog and then some cleaning. Hope everyone has a good, sober day
Puckluck, I have been having drinking dreams each night. This rarely happens to me and the only thing I can think is it is because of the time that I spend here. I haven{t ever spent this much time. I will take the drinking dreams though to stay here if that is what it is. I woke up depressed again this morning and right away said things I was grateful for. I think it is because my dreams are so damn weird and I am drinking in them.
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Old 06-25-2020, 12:56 PM
  # 90 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by Reid82 View Post
Sorry FF, I don't buy that. Cheap Vodka however cheap is meant for human consumption, hand sanitizer is not, period! Ask anyone what they would think of drinking hand sanitizer and they would think you're crazy and is 100% not normal. Sounds like your addiction has you fully convinced about your behavior. I hope you can eventually see this and get the help you need.
I have to agree. Unless you are having us on here FF.....I honestly don't know.
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Old 06-25-2020, 12:58 PM
  # 91 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by MaximusD View Post
Listae, make this your last day 1, your last hangover. Get motivated and do whatever it takes to protect your sobriety. Get mad. Make your AV the enemy. Look at my signature, that is the way I think about it. One thing I can see that I am sure you can as well is that trigger. Make a plan for it and have some yummy food already prepared.

Lixie, just get back at it and make sure you post here. What was the kicker? Have you told your partner about your relationship with alcohol?

I am going to be making it a week today. At this time last week I was just wrapping up my drinking binge. I remember I was drinking but having trouble because I was slightly sick. I literally was drinking just to wait until later in the day for my hangover to start.
Hey Max, a week is wonderful!!!
So happy for you. s ❤️
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Old 06-25-2020, 01:07 PM
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Originally Posted by listae View Post
Thank you Maximus: I needed to read this post and I need to read it right now because it is 2:30 (near when the worst part of the hangover start wearing down) and when I start to justify the AV coaxing me into "just have a glass of wine with your lunch." BUT I CAN'T. ALCOHOLISM IS NOT SOMETHING TO PLAY; SO, SHUT UP AV! SHUT UP AV!
You must eat love....you really must. It gets a whole lot more dangerous for our brains and all of our organs without food. s xxxxxx
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Old 06-25-2020, 01:10 PM
  # 93 (permalink)  
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I feel like 'drinking dreams' are our subconscious' way of acting out our feelings and fears in a way that is not damaging to us.
We get to feel the consequences without having actually done the crime, so to speak. It is a huge relief yes? It makes me feel more grateful than ever for my sobriety.
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Old 06-25-2020, 01:12 PM
  # 94 (permalink)  
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Reid-I hope you are around when my thinking gets out of whack.
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Old 06-25-2020, 01:13 PM
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Reid is pretty amazing huh Dave? s ❤️
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Old 06-25-2020, 01:14 PM
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Hi RAL honey. Kisses for you. ❤️
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Old 06-25-2020, 01:25 PM
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I like hearing it straight

Dave
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Old 06-25-2020, 01:34 PM
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How are you doing dizzy love? s xxx ❤️
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Old 06-25-2020, 01:34 PM
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Freedomfries I agree with the others that it's super concerning to read you're drinking hand sanitizer. Being able to rationalize it is even scarier. And I don't think it's realistic to consider a "fearless moral inventory" until that warped rationalization is out of the picture. So that's for later. I hope you are able to reconnect with whatever part of you wanted to get sober in the first place.

Listae, I know exactly that time of day you're talking about, bc that's around when my hangover horror symptoms would start to finally fade (always around 3pm for me). Adding hunger to that is a recipe for disaster. I played that cycle out a bazillion times, ignoring my body's need to heal and feeding myself booze instead. Hope you are able to eat food, get grounded again, and ignore that dumb AV that suddenly decides it's a good time to restart the drinking cycle...we all know how that ends up.

I'm feeling a bit better today, thank God. My hard days haven't finished coming yet, and I'm aware of that. Thankful for a long busy day tomorrow, but wrapping up the week is a big trigger for me lately. Gonna stay focused, just one day at a time.
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Old 06-25-2020, 01:34 PM
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Originally Posted by venuscat View Post
How are you doing dizzy love? s xxx ❤️
Thank you for checking in <3
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