One Year & Over Part 74
Sober date 5/1/13
Join Date: Mar 2014
Location: Staffordshire UK
Posts: 3,547
Good morning Overs.
I have realised that I do not like reinventing the wheel, or anything else. Having had a pretty much prefect life with Chris, I'm struggling to reinvent my life without her. I've found another councillor (the last one went off long term sick after my session
)
Have a good day everyone.
I have realised that I do not like reinventing the wheel, or anything else. Having had a pretty much prefect life with Chris, I'm struggling to reinvent my life without her. I've found another councillor (the last one went off long term sick after my session
) Have a good day everyone.
Magsie
Join Date: Oct 2013
Location: UK
Posts: 26,708
Morning Overs
Sassy, I hear our supermarkets were getting low on alcohol. I think a lot of people are drinking on lockdown. Happily, it’s one less thing for us to care about.
Itchy, it was blowing a gale here too. Neighbours fence panel came loose, but not serious. The trees looked like they were alive, dancing and prancing about with their long branches swishing around as they battled the storm.
Hope everyone is ok, stay safe and have a good weekend, my friends. xxxx
Sassy, I hear our supermarkets were getting low on alcohol. I think a lot of people are drinking on lockdown. Happily, it’s one less thing for us to care about.
Itchy, it was blowing a gale here too. Neighbours fence panel came loose, but not serious. The trees looked like they were alive, dancing and prancing about with their long branches swishing around as they battled the storm.
Hope everyone is ok, stay safe and have a good weekend, my friends. xxxx
Living and Loving Life at Last
Join Date: Aug 2012
Location: gods own country
Posts: 12,174
Sorry you're struggling Andy, I have always been in awe of how your whole family dealt with Chris' brave battle and final surrender to cancer. I imagine this lock down is making her absence more noticeable it also prevents the sort of socialising that would get you out of your own head more. I feel another counsellor may well help you to move forward, but maybe also consider volunteering your own services for those stuck in lockdown and lonely who can maybe use regular calls to check up on how their doing? In Scotland we have a link to such services.
Sass, I noticed a few years ago myself, that alcohol is no longer my 'go to' for anything any more and totally agree on how freeing that feels. I can't imagine trying to deal with this all just now as an active drunk. I feel it would have been so much tougher on me, ironically, as I looked to the bottle for escape. Dealing with things daily makes me stronger and so much more capable.
hugs everyone. Be strong. Be kind
Sass, I noticed a few years ago myself, that alcohol is no longer my 'go to' for anything any more and totally agree on how freeing that feels. I can't imagine trying to deal with this all just now as an active drunk. I feel it would have been so much tougher on me, ironically, as I looked to the bottle for escape. Dealing with things daily makes me stronger and so much more capable.
hugs everyone. Be strong. Be kind
Quit 4/17/15
Join Date: Jul 2015
Location: Pa
Posts: 15,191
Andy! I am so sorry that your life was upended the way it tragically was. I hope you can find solace with a new therapist.I hope you enjoy your winter Dee. We had no snow and temps nearly ten degrees above normal last winter. I don't know what the new normal is anymore.
Have a good day all!
Member
Join Date: May 2012
Location: US East Coast
Posts: 14,287
Andy, thinking of you! I agree with Toots. Many people never have a good, solid marriage and it sounds like what you and Chris had was exceptional. Tincture of time and socializing when it becomes easier may gradually help.
i must admit that being on lockdown does get old sometimes. I get a wild urge now and then to just get in my car and crash out of here!
Have a good Saturday, Overs!
i must admit that being on lockdown does get old sometimes. I get a wild urge now and then to just get in my car and crash out of here!
Have a good Saturday, Overs!
Member
Join Date: Feb 2013
Posts: 1,636
Hi everyone
I’m still MIA in IT photos lock down. It’s turning into archeologically dig....I’m going to have a heck of a party for myself when I wrap this tedious chore!
Andy - Thx for sharing. Sending you a big hug. And encouragement. I don’t have words of wisdom, but working with someone who will listen and hold space for you to heal has been helpful for me. I’m sure you’ve already noticed, but different counselors have different styles (like meetings) you may like to try a few to see which one fits with you. I mention this bc finding the right one is my biggest barrier to getting help, and keeping it in mind that it may take a few convos helps me to keep going.
Saskia - Sending you positive thoughts for good health
I’m still MIA in IT photos lock down. It’s turning into archeologically dig....I’m going to have a heck of a party for myself when I wrap this tedious chore!
Andy - Thx for sharing. Sending you a big hug. And encouragement. I don’t have words of wisdom, but working with someone who will listen and hold space for you to heal has been helpful for me. I’m sure you’ve already noticed, but different counselors have different styles (like meetings) you may like to try a few to see which one fits with you. I mention this bc finding the right one is my biggest barrier to getting help, and keeping it in mind that it may take a few convos helps me to keep going.
Saskia - Sending you positive thoughts for good health
Re-Member
Join Date: Oct 2010
Location: Colorado Springs, Colorado
Posts: 7,583
Hey Overs!
Star,
Plenty of scorpions: https://sciencing.com/snakes-northwe...-10007709.html
Plenty of spiders: https://www.uncovercolorado.com/spid...cies-colorado/
Plenty of snakes: https://www.uncovercolorado.com/snak...s-in-colorado/
Wow good catch, Led Zep's song, forgot about that. The last two stanzas bear out our new phrase "black dog." https://genius.com/Led-zeppelin-black-dog-lyrics
Dee,
It is warmer now in Siberia and the arctic on and off recently than Washington DC here. https://www.washingtonpost.com/weath...ria-heat-wave/ Wildfires are burning there where there should be snow! Glad your winter looks good.
Andy,
Anybody as lucky as you are, not were, would be devastated for the long term too. We are here and support you bud. I'm glad you are continuing counseling. With kids it's tough to hear them say they miss their mum without sometimes taking it as being blamed for their sorrow, or not good enough. Thank goodness they have a capable, loving, sober father to help them through. And you have children raised properly and lovingly who have your back. As widowers go, you are having the perfect life now too. If you don't see it, we do. Yours was a double loss of wife and best friend. The now cliche partial quote of "Tis better to have loved and lost . ." is mistakenly attributed to Shakepeare, and thought to refer to romantic love lost. When in fact it was by Tennyson and referred to the loss of the dearest of male friends. https://knowledgenuts.com/2014/02/05...t-about-a-man/
Mags,
Really windy here yesterday and just windy here today. Have a good Sunday!
Toots,
Thanks. Well said about how Andy and family worked through the whole terrible thing with grace, and now continue on.
SE,
Sorry you are still dealing with that lost picture mess.
We went out and did our outside spring cleaning, raking all the leaves from the outside of the privacy fence. My SH bought what the guy at Home Depot said was best for Colorado ants like she described. I put it out and watered the three holes I found. We'll see if it worked in the next few days.
Night all!
Star,
Plenty of scorpions: https://sciencing.com/snakes-northwe...-10007709.html
Plenty of spiders: https://www.uncovercolorado.com/spid...cies-colorado/
Plenty of snakes: https://www.uncovercolorado.com/snak...s-in-colorado/
Wow good catch, Led Zep's song, forgot about that. The last two stanzas bear out our new phrase "black dog." https://genius.com/Led-zeppelin-black-dog-lyrics
Dee,
It is warmer now in Siberia and the arctic on and off recently than Washington DC here. https://www.washingtonpost.com/weath...ria-heat-wave/ Wildfires are burning there where there should be snow! Glad your winter looks good.
Andy,
Anybody as lucky as you are, not were, would be devastated for the long term too. We are here and support you bud. I'm glad you are continuing counseling. With kids it's tough to hear them say they miss their mum without sometimes taking it as being blamed for their sorrow, or not good enough. Thank goodness they have a capable, loving, sober father to help them through. And you have children raised properly and lovingly who have your back. As widowers go, you are having the perfect life now too. If you don't see it, we do. Yours was a double loss of wife and best friend. The now cliche partial quote of "Tis better to have loved and lost . ." is mistakenly attributed to Shakepeare, and thought to refer to romantic love lost. When in fact it was by Tennyson and referred to the loss of the dearest of male friends. https://knowledgenuts.com/2014/02/05...t-about-a-man/
Mags,
Really windy here yesterday and just windy here today. Have a good Sunday!
Toots,
Thanks. Well said about how Andy and family worked through the whole terrible thing with grace, and now continue on.
SE,
Sorry you are still dealing with that lost picture mess.
We went out and did our outside spring cleaning, raking all the leaves from the outside of the privacy fence. My SH bought what the guy at Home Depot said was best for Colorado ants like she described. I put it out and watered the three holes I found. We'll see if it worked in the next few days.
Night all!
Re-Member
Join Date: Oct 2010
Location: Colorado Springs, Colorado
Posts: 7,583
For our folks in the US who want to participate in Memorial day observances.
Memorial Day
Begun in 1866 to honor Civil War Combatants, it was later expanded to honor all brave men and women who served this country in all wars, and paid the ultimate price.
Between cookouts, picnics, vacations and sales, Memorial Day may be losing its meaning! Please take one minute, at 3 PM local time on Memorial Day to Remember and honor those brave men and women, who paid the piper that we may dance.
A Day to Remember
By Itchy
They gave their all, their lives, and the futures they held dear,
They left behind a legacy of sadness and of tears.
A folded flag, the sound of Taps, the pride mixed in their leaving,
With heads held high, and tears in eye, the loved ones still are grieving.
Remember them.
Went in harm's way, so young, and they never will grow older,
Leaving memories, and pictures, citations in a folder.
They left their sons, their little girls, to grow up wondering why,
Their daddy that they loved so well, went off to war to die.
Remember them.
For some it changed, and mother, was the casualty of war,
The arms that hugged them never would again, forevermore.
Yet all were sons and daughters, and left behind an ache,
In the hearts of those, whose turn should come, before their children's wake.
Remember them.
They all rest in peace, some say, and who am I to doubt it?
The higher purpose it was served, the enemy was routed.
Some came home, some never went, some only watched the news,
But they will never hold their child, or argue current views.
Remember them
It wasn't meant, in leaving, when they all marched off to war,
That we'd be left without them, from the cannon's deadly roar.
I'm sure that they, would rather, have been here for all of us,
But someone had to fight those wars, someone pay the cost.
Remember them
At 3 PM, this Monday, my flag will fly half mast,
As all across the nation, floats the somber sound of Taps.
It's only for one minute, or maybe three or four,
In tears, I will remember, those who died in every war.
© Itchy / 2020
Taps and Amazing Grace can be downloaded here to play at 3PM on Memorial Day local time for a national moment of remembrance:
Download TAPS
How to observe Memorial Day
How to Observe Memorial Day
For our friends in Commonwealth countries, Memorial Day is very much the same as your "Remembrance Day." On the 11th hour, of the 11th day, of the 11th month, you solemnly honor your fallen military too.
Memorial Day
Begun in 1866 to honor Civil War Combatants, it was later expanded to honor all brave men and women who served this country in all wars, and paid the ultimate price.
Between cookouts, picnics, vacations and sales, Memorial Day may be losing its meaning! Please take one minute, at 3 PM local time on Memorial Day to Remember and honor those brave men and women, who paid the piper that we may dance.
A Day to Remember
By Itchy
They gave their all, their lives, and the futures they held dear,
They left behind a legacy of sadness and of tears.
A folded flag, the sound of Taps, the pride mixed in their leaving,
With heads held high, and tears in eye, the loved ones still are grieving.
Remember them.
Went in harm's way, so young, and they never will grow older,
Leaving memories, and pictures, citations in a folder.
They left their sons, their little girls, to grow up wondering why,
Their daddy that they loved so well, went off to war to die.
Remember them.
For some it changed, and mother, was the casualty of war,
The arms that hugged them never would again, forevermore.
Yet all were sons and daughters, and left behind an ache,
In the hearts of those, whose turn should come, before their children's wake.
Remember them.
They all rest in peace, some say, and who am I to doubt it?
The higher purpose it was served, the enemy was routed.
Some came home, some never went, some only watched the news,
But they will never hold their child, or argue current views.
Remember them
It wasn't meant, in leaving, when they all marched off to war,
That we'd be left without them, from the cannon's deadly roar.
I'm sure that they, would rather, have been here for all of us,
But someone had to fight those wars, someone pay the cost.
Remember them
At 3 PM, this Monday, my flag will fly half mast,
As all across the nation, floats the somber sound of Taps.
It's only for one minute, or maybe three or four,
In tears, I will remember, those who died in every war.
© Itchy / 2020
Taps and Amazing Grace can be downloaded here to play at 3PM on Memorial Day local time for a national moment of remembrance:
Download TAPS
How to observe Memorial Day
How to Observe Memorial Day
For our friends in Commonwealth countries, Memorial Day is very much the same as your "Remembrance Day." On the 11th hour, of the 11th day, of the 11th month, you solemnly honor your fallen military too.
Magsie
Join Date: Oct 2013
Location: UK
Posts: 26,708
Morning Overs
Sassy, I feel like jumping in the car too sometimes and just heading off, and we did just now. Drove a few miles to a spot on the River Trent bank and walked. No people, no shops, no boats, just a church and cemetery nearby. It was very breezy and there was no one else about at just gone 6am. Though the weather wasn’t good, but it was good to walk for a while.
Itchy, thanks for the poem. Brings it home to us how people sacrificed their lives for us. We have a lot to be thankful for.
It looks like the heavens are going to open up any minute and send a downpour.
Have a good Sunday and be safe, my friends. xxxx
Sassy, I feel like jumping in the car too sometimes and just heading off, and we did just now. Drove a few miles to a spot on the River Trent bank and walked. No people, no shops, no boats, just a church and cemetery nearby. It was very breezy and there was no one else about at just gone 6am. Though the weather wasn’t good, but it was good to walk for a while.
Itchy, thanks for the poem. Brings it home to us how people sacrificed their lives for us. We have a lot to be thankful for.
It looks like the heavens are going to open up any minute and send a downpour.
Have a good Sunday and be safe, my friends. xxxx
Member
Join Date: May 2012
Location: US East Coast
Posts: 14,287
Thanks, Itchy!
SE, reading about your photos brought back some memories and some reflection. Back when all photos were on paper, I had several of those big plastic underbed boxes crammed full of photos. When I was getting ready to move to the OFH I weeded through and got it down to one big box. I also had my daughter go through them to pick out what she wanted (much less than I expected). Then I decided to have the rest scanned so I would have them on my computer. To save $, I weeded again. I have rarely missed the ones I eliminated. Since then, I have rarely looked at the ones that are left and know that if I were to lose them it would not be a disaster of epic proportions. Perspectives do change :-).
have a good day, dear Overs!
SE, reading about your photos brought back some memories and some reflection. Back when all photos were on paper, I had several of those big plastic underbed boxes crammed full of photos. When I was getting ready to move to the OFH I weeded through and got it down to one big box. I also had my daughter go through them to pick out what she wanted (much less than I expected). Then I decided to have the rest scanned so I would have them on my computer. To save $, I weeded again. I have rarely missed the ones I eliminated. Since then, I have rarely looked at the ones that are left and know that if I were to lose them it would not be a disaster of epic proportions. Perspectives do change :-).
have a good day, dear Overs!
Re-Member
Join Date: Oct 2010
Location: Colorado Springs, Colorado
Posts: 7,583
Sassy, YW!
We just went through our photo boxes. They were the next to last boxes we unpacked. We had years ago done some sorting and made up a scrapbook of my grandparents' New York in the 1920s, and our immediate family early ones. Then put the best of the rest in albums with the sticky pages and plastic over them. I started sorting the best of the best to scan them and have them all on my storage hard drives and my computers. We have three four drawer hon professional legal file cabinets. Two in my office with one drawer for files and the other seven with what is left of my computer spares, parts, wireless KBs and Mice. The third file cabinet is in the basement all four drawers full of pictures. We put off the final sort and trashing the negatives but that is a great idea, thanks! I'll have my son down to sort with me. Since we are the eldest remaining of the family if me and my SH don't recognize them, and my son doesn't out they go! And he can take what he wants. Or wait and hope I make time to scan them. TEDIOUS!
Thanks for the idea.
Purps,
Yes I did, thanks! I'm glad you liked it. Memorial Day is not about me or the other vets who lived or never went into combat. It is about the folks who fought and died in combat or in a war zone.
For memorial day here is my story. I am retired USAF 27 years active duty from Vietnam to eight years past the first Gulf war I supported from Germany. I've seen the loss, and lost a few friends. During my era serving in the AF only pilots, PJs (ParaRescue), cops, and FACs (Forward Air Controllers) went in harm's way and some very few enlisted aircrew. Our perimeters were guarded by Army and Marines. Our main bases were nowhere near the war zones. Now we have some forward bases and we do our own perimeter security and transport.
Some of my Army buddies in retirement and fellow Vet full time RVrs were in heavy combat or combat zones. If you want a real exposure to military sacrifice, read the book "We Were Soldiers Once And Young" by Lt. Gen. Harold G Moore (Ret) and Joseph Galloway. My friend who was a survivor of the battle for the Ia Drang valley, the battle the book is about, goes to the annual reunions and sent me a hardcover copy of the book, signed by Moore and Galloway on the inside cover, and the rest of the guys signed on the pages they were in and the guys not specifically mentioned in the book signed with camaraderie "To (me) we needed you guys there too etc.
General Moore's and Galloway's dedication signatures in my book. These are heroes.
It's no secret that Dee here and me are both named Derek. Only my first name is readable.
Here is a pic of the General and Joe Galloway signing my copy of the book
I am very proud and grateful to my Ia Drang survivor buddies, our combat crews in the AF today, as well as the folks from all branches and who went before us in Valley Forge, the war of 1812, WW I, WW II, Korea, Vietnam, the break up of Yugoslavia, the first and second Gulf wars, Afghanistan, Iraq, and a lot of places and skirmishes we haven't declassified yet. Especially to those fighting in war zones on missions today. All of the real front line combatants, as well as those lost in the peacetime military. BTW the movie, "We Were Soldiers Once" starring Mel Gibson, was OK, but for book readers, the book had me in the middle of combat. There are a lot of folks in that book who didn't make it out. But I know their stories and will be thinking of them among others as I play taps at 3pm, and render a hand salute, and tears for that one minute, or three.
We just went through our photo boxes. They were the next to last boxes we unpacked. We had years ago done some sorting and made up a scrapbook of my grandparents' New York in the 1920s, and our immediate family early ones. Then put the best of the rest in albums with the sticky pages and plastic over them. I started sorting the best of the best to scan them and have them all on my storage hard drives and my computers. We have three four drawer hon professional legal file cabinets. Two in my office with one drawer for files and the other seven with what is left of my computer spares, parts, wireless KBs and Mice. The third file cabinet is in the basement all four drawers full of pictures. We put off the final sort and trashing the negatives but that is a great idea, thanks! I'll have my son down to sort with me. Since we are the eldest remaining of the family if me and my SH don't recognize them, and my son doesn't out they go! And he can take what he wants. Or wait and hope I make time to scan them. TEDIOUS!
Thanks for the idea.Purps,
Yes I did, thanks! I'm glad you liked it. Memorial Day is not about me or the other vets who lived or never went into combat. It is about the folks who fought and died in combat or in a war zone.
For memorial day here is my story. I am retired USAF 27 years active duty from Vietnam to eight years past the first Gulf war I supported from Germany. I've seen the loss, and lost a few friends. During my era serving in the AF only pilots, PJs (ParaRescue), cops, and FACs (Forward Air Controllers) went in harm's way and some very few enlisted aircrew. Our perimeters were guarded by Army and Marines. Our main bases were nowhere near the war zones. Now we have some forward bases and we do our own perimeter security and transport.
Some of my Army buddies in retirement and fellow Vet full time RVrs were in heavy combat or combat zones. If you want a real exposure to military sacrifice, read the book "We Were Soldiers Once And Young" by Lt. Gen. Harold G Moore (Ret) and Joseph Galloway. My friend who was a survivor of the battle for the Ia Drang valley, the battle the book is about, goes to the annual reunions and sent me a hardcover copy of the book, signed by Moore and Galloway on the inside cover, and the rest of the guys signed on the pages they were in and the guys not specifically mentioned in the book signed with camaraderie "To (me) we needed you guys there too etc.
General Moore's and Galloway's dedication signatures in my book. These are heroes.
It's no secret that Dee here and me are both named Derek. Only my first name is readable.
Here is a pic of the General and Joe Galloway signing my copy of the book
I am very proud and grateful to my Ia Drang survivor buddies, our combat crews in the AF today, as well as the folks from all branches and who went before us in Valley Forge, the war of 1812, WW I, WW II, Korea, Vietnam, the break up of Yugoslavia, the first and second Gulf wars, Afghanistan, Iraq, and a lot of places and skirmishes we haven't declassified yet. Especially to those fighting in war zones on missions today. All of the real front line combatants, as well as those lost in the peacetime military. BTW the movie, "We Were Soldiers Once" starring Mel Gibson, was OK, but for book readers, the book had me in the middle of combat. There are a lot of folks in that book who didn't make it out. But I know their stories and will be thinking of them among others as I play taps at 3pm, and render a hand salute, and tears for that one minute, or three.
Re-Member
Join Date: Oct 2010
Location: Colorado Springs, Colorado
Posts: 7,583
Just for fun. IN the move we found documents and pics we thought we'd lost. We had to register for the draft and were issued a draft card. I found mine and edited it to remove my personal info. This what dissidents ere burning.
Have a safe and secure Memorial Day tomorrow!
Have a safe and secure Memorial Day tomorrow!
Magsie
Join Date: Oct 2013
Location: UK
Posts: 26,708
Morning Overs
Have a good Monday my friends. xxxx
On Memorial Day, let us honor those who gave their lives for our country. My warmest wishes on Memorial Day and deepest gratitude for the ultimate sacrifice of our fallen heroes.
Have a good Monday my friends. xxxx
On Memorial Day, let us honor those who gave their lives for our country. My warmest wishes on Memorial Day and deepest gratitude for the ultimate sacrifice of our fallen heroes.
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 2 (0 members and 2 guests)
