Mikoss' Thread
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Join Date: May 2014
Location: Kerry, Ireland
Posts: 2,703
I remember reading your original thread a few months ago mikoss and was interested to see how you're doing now. Unfortunately it doesn't look good after looking at this new thread.
You need to go to Rehab now, period. I remember saying that to you before and how you could easily afford it. The online AA meetings aren't cutting it. I like to give people the benefit of the doubt but I honestly don't know if you are doing this whole thing (posting here) for a joke, or you have mental delusions/impairment due to all the drink/drugs but something just feels off with the whole story with you. A lot of people have posted here and gave their time to help you. It is time to get real. I wish you the best.
You need to go to Rehab now, period. I remember saying that to you before and how you could easily afford it. The online AA meetings aren't cutting it. I like to give people the benefit of the doubt but I honestly don't know if you are doing this whole thing (posting here) for a joke, or you have mental delusions/impairment due to all the drink/drugs but something just feels off with the whole story with you. A lot of people have posted here and gave their time to help you. It is time to get real. I wish you the best.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2020
Posts: 239
Originally Posted by mikoss 
I was finally able to get past a day clean and sober. I feel so sick. My body feels so sore with aches and pains and I can barely walk and I feel so sick and vomiting from withdrawal. My hands are shaking and I just feel sick like my body needs the alcohol and drugs so bad. I don't know if I need to go to rehab or detox. I just feel like I function better with alcohol and drugs but I guess I am such an addict that I feel like without drugs and alcohol I cannot function normally. I just feel so sick and my body in pain.
A LOT of people are dual diagnosis. With the past you've shared, ocd, etc. You may be self medicating in part to stabilize yourself. Getting help from a doctor, psychologist could help you figure this stuff out. It's ok to ask for help, and keep asking and trying until you find what works for you. There is no one solution. Personally I'd go to the support group meetings if you enjoy them and if you find it supportive. But I'd get some kind of actual medical, professional help in dealing with this. If your going to keep a sponsor then I'm guessing you should suck it up and call him. It is what it is, and since you said he was once using and drinking just like you, then he will understand.
Did you ever have a really bad binge that helped you stop in the past? Or something that got you a stretch of sobriety?
luring sobriety this way with my lucky charm
Join Date: Mar 2020
Location: California
Posts: 738
Originally Posted by mikoss
Yes, for me I have been using alcohol and drugs for years. Over 10 years of drug use. And over 20 years of drinking. But daily drug use for the past 3 years at least and daily drinking for the past 3 years or so. My drug of choice is mostly cocaine and pills. And drinking alcohol. Mostly scotch whiskey, bourbon whiskey, Irish whiskey, Canadian whiskey, vodka, gin, rum, tequila, and cognac. And then most recently heroin to come down from the coke. I can't really drink on the heroin because it makes me vomit. I don't inject heroin though since I don't like needles. I would snort heroin like cocaine. Sometime mixing my cocaine with heroin and then using heroin to come down from the coke. And taking pills for depression and anxiety from withdrawals. And freebasing cocaine sometimes since I like smoking crack cocaine as well. And also doing black tar heroin at times cooked up with a bit of water and snorting it. It's called monkey water. But I mostly snort powdered heroin. And lines of cocaine when I am drinking. And smoking cigarettes with cocaine called cocoa puffs. It is all just so bad. My drug use just got so bad and I feel terrible and very ashamed and guilty about it. As far as going out, yes I would drink and do coke while driving which is really bad and I feel ashamed doing that. Right now my girlfriend has literally taken away all of my keys to my cars and hid them to prevent me from driving anywhere from now on. I feel so sick and ill from not drinking or doing drugs. And yes that meeting I mentioned is great and I attend that meeting every day. It is a great meeting. I haven't called me sponsor back yet though because I feel so bad and now sick from withdrawals.
Unless you are making this all up, because that's a really insane pattern of drug use you described to still be functioning and not running down the street naked and talking to people who aren't there.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2020
Posts: 353
Hi guys, sorry I haven't posted in a while. It has just been a long struggle with a lot of relapses but I am happy to say that I am on day 4 of being clean and sober of all of the drugs and alcohol. It has not been easy and I have been very sick the past weeks but I am doing it finally. One day at a time.
I am still attending AA meetings but mostly I am attending meetings in Los Angeles/Hollywood, New York City, Miami, and Las Vegas as well as a lot of meetings in England, Ireland, and Scotland. I very much enjoy the AA, NA, and CA meetings in Ireland and Scotland the most as well as the ones in England. Those are the ones where I fell like I can relate to the most and share my story and hearing theirs and talk about alcohol and drug addiction in the AA, NA, and CA meetings I attend in Ireland and Scotland. I love my Irish, Scottish, and British fellows in my AA/NA/CA meetings a lot hearing their stories and sharing my story as well. It has helped me a lot. I would say my home group is now my Ireland/Scotland group. Go figure.
But I am doing okay and proud to say I am clean and sober at the moment.
I am still attending AA meetings but mostly I am attending meetings in Los Angeles/Hollywood, New York City, Miami, and Las Vegas as well as a lot of meetings in England, Ireland, and Scotland. I very much enjoy the AA, NA, and CA meetings in Ireland and Scotland the most as well as the ones in England. Those are the ones where I fell like I can relate to the most and share my story and hearing theirs and talk about alcohol and drug addiction in the AA, NA, and CA meetings I attend in Ireland and Scotland. I love my Irish, Scottish, and British fellows in my AA/NA/CA meetings a lot hearing their stories and sharing my story as well. It has helped me a lot. I would say my home group is now my Ireland/Scotland group. Go figure.
But I am doing okay and proud to say I am clean and sober at the moment.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2020
Posts: 353
I am doing okay. I am on day 12 today clean and sober from drugs and alcohol.
It has been a long past month. Lots of ups and down and lots of struggling to get off the booze and coke and pills and heroin and all of that but I am finally on day 12 today.
I am not going to lie, this sobriety thing sucks and I have not been feeling my best but I am finally doing it. My sleep patterns are way off, I am on a lot of Alcoholics Anonymous and Cocaine Anonymous meetings daily all over the world, I am going through lots of anxiety, depression, withdrawals symptoms, but I am doing well and getting better as each day goes by.
It has been a long past month. Lots of ups and down and lots of struggling to get off the booze and coke and pills and heroin and all of that but I am finally on day 12 today.
I am not going to lie, this sobriety thing sucks and I have not been feeling my best but I am finally doing it. My sleep patterns are way off, I am on a lot of Alcoholics Anonymous and Cocaine Anonymous meetings daily all over the world, I am going through lots of anxiety, depression, withdrawals symptoms, but I am doing well and getting better as each day goes by.
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Join Date: Feb 2020
Posts: 239
So you found a cocaine anon meeting that's good too. Great. You know when your up to it, come back over to the Newcomers section to read and share. I think you would relate to several people who are right around same timeframe as you are. Good to hear you so dedicated. I know it's tough. Opiate withdrawals are much harder too aren't they?
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Join Date: Feb 2020
Posts: 239
Since the website has been updated, most of the time I dont have a thanks button to push. Thanks Dee.
when I was binging on coke, drinking years ago, had I been putting my feelings, my activities, my twisted thoughts in writing, I'm sure people would have thought all kinds of things. My relapse was pretty boring, thankfully.
What Mikoss has been saying about zoom AA is true. People on the main forum are attending online meetings all over the world too. Looks like this site has people from lots of countries also.
hope your ok, Mikoss.
American Movie Classics is playing that Chevy Chase movie. I cannot believe how many movies I've watched during the Pandemic. you know how people keep count of sober days. My wife keeps count of how many days until Christmas. So today she saw this movie was on and I dont remember ever seeing it. She said we had to watch it., was funny. Everything this guy tried to do for the holiday went off course, but in the end all ended up well
Hoping your travels, recovery work end up with you in a good place Mikoss.
when I was binging on coke, drinking years ago, had I been putting my feelings, my activities, my twisted thoughts in writing, I'm sure people would have thought all kinds of things. My relapse was pretty boring, thankfully.
What Mikoss has been saying about zoom AA is true. People on the main forum are attending online meetings all over the world too. Looks like this site has people from lots of countries also.
hope your ok, Mikoss.
American Movie Classics is playing that Chevy Chase movie. I cannot believe how many movies I've watched during the Pandemic. you know how people keep count of sober days. My wife keeps count of how many days until Christmas. So today she saw this movie was on and I dont remember ever seeing it. She said we had to watch it., was funny. Everything this guy tried to do for the holiday went off course, but in the end all ended up well
Hoping your travels, recovery work end up with you in a good place Mikoss.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2020
Posts: 353
Hi, I am doing well. I am on day 23 clean and sober today. Things have been good for me and I am doing well in recovery so far.
I am still attending a lot of AA, CA, and NA meetings all over the world and all over the US. And I have spoken at some of them as a guest speaker as well to tell my story of alcohol and substance addiction. I do have a sponsor as well.
I attend meetings in the United Kingdom, Scotland, Ireland, New Zealand, Australia, and countries all over the world. And I also attend meetings all over the United States such as Austin, TX and Los Angeles, California and Miami, Florida and Hollywood, California and Las Vegas, Nevada and New York City, New York and many other cities.
But I have to say that my favorite group and my favorite meetings are the ones in Scotland. And Ireland as well. I love the people of Scotland. I find the meetings in Scotland to be very solid meetings and I love how the Scottish people are very passionate and real when they share their stories of addiction and recovery. If anybody knows a bit about Glasgow, Scotland it is a very rough city, kinda like the wild west of Scotland, but the people of Glasgow are a very friendly people and the nicest people you could meet. Anyways, I just love my groups in Scotland and I cannot wait to visit my friends in Scotland one day at the live meetings in Glasgow and other cities in Scotland. I am not saying that there are not nice people all over the world, but I find that my Scottish groups and friends are my favorite. But Ireland, UK, New Zealand, Australia, and many other countries have awesome people that I have met in meetings on Zoom. These are all Zoom meetings I speak of such as Alcoholics Anonymous, Cocaine Anonymous, Narcotics Anonymous, etc.
I am still attending a lot of AA, CA, and NA meetings all over the world and all over the US. And I have spoken at some of them as a guest speaker as well to tell my story of alcohol and substance addiction. I do have a sponsor as well.
I attend meetings in the United Kingdom, Scotland, Ireland, New Zealand, Australia, and countries all over the world. And I also attend meetings all over the United States such as Austin, TX and Los Angeles, California and Miami, Florida and Hollywood, California and Las Vegas, Nevada and New York City, New York and many other cities.
But I have to say that my favorite group and my favorite meetings are the ones in Scotland. And Ireland as well. I love the people of Scotland. I find the meetings in Scotland to be very solid meetings and I love how the Scottish people are very passionate and real when they share their stories of addiction and recovery. If anybody knows a bit about Glasgow, Scotland it is a very rough city, kinda like the wild west of Scotland, but the people of Glasgow are a very friendly people and the nicest people you could meet. Anyways, I just love my groups in Scotland and I cannot wait to visit my friends in Scotland one day at the live meetings in Glasgow and other cities in Scotland. I am not saying that there are not nice people all over the world, but I find that my Scottish groups and friends are my favorite. But Ireland, UK, New Zealand, Australia, and many other countries have awesome people that I have met in meetings on Zoom. These are all Zoom meetings I speak of such as Alcoholics Anonymous, Cocaine Anonymous, Narcotics Anonymous, etc.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2020
Posts: 239
How's Mikoss?
yours post was one that started me reading here. Think I told you how you remind me of someone I used to know. Your not him as he got himself straightened out a while back. Your going to do the same I think. My life is about back to normal and work is calling to me. Trying to balance work and fun, for my health of course. But I'm still going to check back,in on you. Keep updating and keep doing good.
yours post was one that started me reading here. Think I told you how you remind me of someone I used to know. Your not him as he got himself straightened out a while back. Your going to do the same I think. My life is about back to normal and work is calling to me. Trying to balance work and fun, for my health of course. But I'm still going to check back,in on you. Keep updating and keep doing good.
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