mikoss

Actually I did do an online AA meeting tonight on Zoom. It was a great meeting. We had a big turnout at our meeting tonight and a lot of fantastic people sharing stories online tonight.

We usually have a meeting before the actual meeting and I got to share my story about how I met Billy Gibbons as a kid and how I started playing guitar and how Billy taught me guitar when I was young and just answering questions from people before the meeting about the guitars and amps and equipment I use and people asking me about what guitars I had in the background and so forth. It was nice meeting.

mikoss

I do like poker though. I am not much into online poker but I do have a professional poker table here at my house. I have a big set of poker chips, table with electronic card shuffler, with my sets of KEM and Copag playing cards, and chips like Paulson, Nevada Jacks, Scroll, and so many sets, the whole nine yards, just no poker players to play with. Maybe I should host games with friends. But usually when I play with friends there is a lot of drinking and heavy drug use while playing poker but maybe I should host a sober game of poker with no drinking and no drugs.

Steely

No dealing from the bottom of the deck though.

Lines

That would be a good idea once the pandemic concludes. I think one of the purposes of AA is to provide friends to people who are otherwise surrounded by people who influence patterns of behavior your trying to break free from. You could also get involved with other activities and meet people who dont focus on substance use. After the pandemic ends. All your friends appear to do is lead you into using, drinking, or getting emotional due to their drama.

what genre of music would you call these people? Last thing I downloaded in my car was a band from San Diego that my wife said I'd like. I found a couple good ones right away, but the more I played it the others started growing on me.

mikoss

But anyways, I did get something very good out of my meeting tonight via chat during the meeting tonight.

We discussed detox apart from our meeting. A lady that I met at my AA meetings that has been so wonderful in explaining to me about detox. Just a wonderful person and she told me how detox was really good and that the nurses are so cool and detox is actually very wonderful. Like me she also dealt with alcohol and drug addiction. Not just her but a lot of people in my AA meetings have dealt with not just alcohol but a lot of drugs as well. Powdered cocaine, free base cocaine, Adderall, white powder heroin, black tar heroin, oxycodone, Valium, amphetamines, benzos, codeine, morphine, LSD, hash, you name it. We have done it all.

Anyways without going into detail this lady I met at my meetings has been so helpful in explaining to me about detox. She explained to me that I am not alone and this is why I attend my online meetings every day. She told me that I am not alone and that she too experienced a drug craving not too long ago. And I told her how I can so relate to that as my drug cravings are daily. I am so glad I can go to my meetings online and relate to people going through or that went what I am going through.

So many people in my online meeting tonight just devastated, worried, scared, and panicking with our situation going on right now. So many people on the verge of relapse and falling back into booze and drugs after weeks, months, and years of sobriety. And some probably have relapsed. But we have our online meetings daily with Zoom and we discuss and share and talk and chat with each other and I am so thankful and grateful for that.

Lines

Gratitude. Well done. Never would have happened if you hadn't taken an uncomfortable step in the beginning.

Look forward to your update tomorrow. Stay out of the toilet.

mikoss

Yes Steely, I should have used rubber gloves. I used a wire coat hanger to no success. The penny went down the toilet. I was so upset that I did not retrieve it. Oh man I was yelling and cussing just about every cuss word you could imagine. My friend she gets nervous and doesn't like me cussing but I once heard that it is healthy to cuss out loud. And I said well I must be one healthy mf because I cuss a lot. I don't mean anything by it but when I speak I use a lot of cuss words in person and my friend she tells I have such a filthy mouth but it is just a part of me.

Anyways, yes Lines I look forward to tomorrow's online AA meeting. Tomorrow is a book study.

Steely

Yeah, but you've prob got OCD germaphobia so couldn't sink your hands into the dunny even with rubber gloves.

Wish you'd sink your being into getting sober.

We don't say cuss in Australia, we say swear.

I got taught that the only swear words were racist words. Belittling words. Stuff like that. Outside of that it's all good, just not in front of kids.

mikoss

Speaking of poker here is a little gem of Dusty, Billy, and Frank playing a little poker reminiscing on old times.

https://youtu.be/151nPs-Ur04

Steely

I'm https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=N8Oof5uNGAk

Yeah, reminisce on 40,000 years Mikoss.

Hear the didge?

Steely

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=N8Oof5uNGAk

First one got stuck on the kangaroo.

mikoss

Wow that is some very interesting music. I had never heard anything like that before. Is this tribal music? That instrument is very unusual sounding.

Steely

Yes it is tribal music music Mikoss. The didgeridoo, a wind instrument traditionally used in ceremonies, but not so much now. Difficult to play apparently with a circular breathing technique. Can make so many sounds. Like animals, and nature.

I like all musical instruments, but the didgeridoo is one of my favourites. It nearly puts me into a trance it's so meditatory. Made from eucalyptus tree hollowed out by termites. Women aren't supposed to play them.

WritingFromLife

Mikoss-my Mom was Frank's girl (Frank Beard) from 1966 to 1982 (they officially married in 78 when they both got sober with PDAP, then divorced and he married Debbie not long after. ) Love the video clip! Hope you are doing better. I have been following your thread and wishing you the best on this journey. For me, surrender is key, and it isn't always a one-time deal. Surrender doesn't mean you are weak; I think it means you are sold out to sobriety, period. Sending you big hugs!!!

mikoss

That is awesome that your mother was married to Frank Beard. He does like his TAB and his cigarettes. I never knew Frank drank back in the day.

I was just a kid when I met Billy Gibbons. It is kind of an odd story but my neighbor across the street when I was a kid would hang out with Billy. Or I should say Billy would go to my neighbor's house and hang with the father of my best friend when I was growing up. Her dad was into classic cars and always had old classic trucks and old classic cars and wooden boats and a lot of cool stuff and fix them up and customize them and chop tops of cars and trucks and lower them and trick them out and do a lot of neat stuff. And he had a long beard just like Dusty and Billy and they liked to smoke funny smelling little cigars and talk cars together.

So my best friend that I knew since we were like 4 years old, we hung out all of the time after school. She and I were kind of like partners in crime. She was my first everything. My first cigarette, my first sip of booze, among other things. She and I were just little mischiefs and always doing crazy stuff but we had fun as kids.

So anyways, I had this electric guitar and I was just learning to play. It was a Silvertone guitar that was given to me by my dad. It was a guitar you bought from a Sears catalog. I think my dad bought it in the early 60s. It was black and had these two silver pickups, wooden bridge, and this cardboard like case. I still have that guitar. Fun little guitar for slide and I mess with it from time to time. I have it put away in some closet somewhere.

So at that time I was playing whatever I could learn to play. I was trying to play music from this band called The Ventures. It was the first cassette tape I got from my dad. These guys played like surf type music and anyways it was my first exposure to music and guitar listening to this group called The Ventures. I am like 8 years old or something like that so it is what I had at the time.

But I had no amplifier for my electric guitar. But I didn't care I still played the thing trying to learn by ear whatever I could. All I did day and night was play trying to learn what I could absorb by listening to this Ventures cassette.

So my neighbor she had an amplifier. I believe it was a Peavey amp. So I had this old Silvertone guitar and she had an amp so I would go over there and plug into the amp and play whatever I knew. Probably not very good either but I tried my best.

So one day I am over there at my neighbor's house playing my little guitar on my friend's amp and probably playing rather poorly and these guys are hanging out there and in walks this guy. He asks me if I wanted to learn to play some guitar. I was thinking okay sure and I think I asked him if he even knew how to play any guitar being the little smart aleck I was at the time. I think he said he knew how to play a little guitar. So he basically showed me a few things telling me okay put your finger here and there and play that and then do this and put your finger over on this fret like this and basically showing me how to play some things. Little did I know it was Billy Gibbons from ZZ Top teaching me to play guitar and gave me my first guitar lesson. I knew the band ZZ Top by name. I had heard of them. But I had no idea who he was at that time.

And from then on I was like okay I really like this type of music they call blues that he is teaching me to play. I dig this type of music. This music sounds interesting and I like it. And that was my introduction to blues guitar and Billy Gibbons and how I started playing. And then I got my first Fender Stratocaster and my first Fender amp later on and I was like man this is what I want to do for the rest of my life. Forget school I don't want to go to school anymore all I want to do is play guitar all day an night. And I became hooked. So I credit Billy Gibbons as my godfather to learning to play guitar. I know most guitar players are into Hendrix, and Stevie Ray, and Page, and Clapton, and I listened to all of those guys growing up but the one true guitar hero for me is Billy Gibbons. He is my #1 in my book and he can play some guitar.

Basically Billy, Dusty, and Frank are just 3 guys that really like to play. That is what made them so great. They took the rulebook and threw it out. Taking classic blues riffs and making it their own with a unique style which is ZZ Top.

That is why Billy, Dusty, and Frank will always be my favorite band. I never get tired of listening to them. And Billy giving me my introduction to blues not to mention he is such a down to earth guy he gave me my first guitar lesson and for that he is my guitar god.

Anyways, just trying to get sober and I hope I can do it. One day at a time. Maybe I need to be like Frank and drink TAB and smoke cigarettes. For me it would be Dr. Pepper. I love those Dr. Peppers. And I have started smoking more now that I have cut down on drinking. But we will see. I just need to get sober and quit this life of drinking and drugs.

Steely

You make me happy Mikoss even if I don't like to admit it.

mikoss

Thanks Steely, you make me happy too.

I did like that David Bowie video you gave me the link too. And the other videos of the aboriginal music. I will check them out again tonight. I don't know much about David Bowie but I will check out some of his work. I know Stevie Ray Vaughan played on his song Let's Dance.

I just finished an online AA meeting on Zoom a little while ago. It was a good meeting. It was a book study meeting tonight. We read a few pages from the book an discussed a few things. It was a good little discussion and glad we were able to have our AA meeting. So many people in our meeting that were so glad we can still continue having them online because they help a lot for a lot of people including myself.

A lot of people in our meeting were saying how right now they are just going through a lot of emotional things with what is going on and these meetings just make life a little bit better for a lot of us being able to still get together even if it is behind a computer and a camera.

But overall everybody from our meeting is doing okay and somebody even mentioned that they feel like the meetings are too short. They last an hour but I know some people really look forward to that one hour that we meet each day, as well as I, because it helps them get through each day and they wish it was longer but we still manage to discuss a lot in that one hour.

But anyways here is a little something:

https://youtu.be/TG2JtdUEMJU

Lines

I enjoyed that clip Steely. It has a relaxing feel even though it's like your in the jungle. All of the sounds were from the didgeridoo?

I had to look it up for more info. Saw an article from a UK paper where someone called the police because a man was in the park with a rifle. Turned out to be a homemade 4' long didgeridoo he was playing. They posed for pictures.

And mikoss your like a novel that can't be put down. Despite the seriousness of your troubles, you do often make me smile. Just today I saw a penny and really wanted to try the magnet experiment.

What did the girl cook for you today ??

Im going to gain weight if I keep sleeping so much and eating food my wife cooks. She made a banana pudding today. I can't believe instead of being at my office today sneaking lines of coke and feeling guilty - I'm at home watching movies and eating pudding with bananas and wafers. I feel like I won the lottery.

mikoss

Yeah that penny did escape me but now I make sure I don't get near a toilet in my house without anything that may fall in it by accident. I actually saw on the internet somewhere a while back of people that make floors out of pennies. Gluing them to the floor and putting some type of sealer over them and it creates a pretty cool effect. But I thought I want to make a room full of pennies. I want to start a project where I take new shiny pennies and glue them to the walls and ceiling of a room in my house. Just a big penny room. Anyways, I thought that would be a neat project to do but it is just finding all of the pennies. I suppose I could order rolls and rolls of pennies and just take out the shiny new ones. Just a project to think about in the near future.

Tonight my friend she actually made a stir fry with vegetables and rice. And I know when I get back to eating healthy I have to eliminate all bread, rice, potatoes, anything with grain or flour, all fruit except berries, and just stick to eating meat, cheese, certain vegetables, nuts, and berries and avoiding anything with sugar or foods that turn into sugar.

But she cooks a lot. For desert she made blueberry pie today. And with no drinking or doing drugs I find that I eat a lot. She cooks so much food and always baking stuff. Yesterday she made me oatmeal cookies and I know oatmeal is not good for you but I ate them anyways and I have to say they were good. I tease her because she is British and I joke with her telling her, "I thought you Brits only know how to make fish and chips and Shepherd's pie. You know England ain't exactly known for their fine cuisine darling." But she knows I tease her and play like that. But she can actually cook some good food.

But yeah, everything is good so far. No drinking or drugging and just drinking my Dr. Peppers and smoking cigarettes. I have never been much of a smoker but I tend to smoke more now that I am not drinking booze.

mikoss

Just so stressed and pissed off about a lot of money I lost tonight that I am back to drinking again and doing more coke. I am just so angry about all of the money I lost and just started drinking again and doing some coke just to take the edge off.

I feel like I just want to drown myself in a ton of booze and coke tonight. I lost a lot of money and just on edge that and I can barely function.

Ah man what a life. Just so much stress I can barely cope anymore.