Class of March 2016 Part 82
Member
Join Date: Jun 2016
Location: Adelaide, Australia
Posts: 28,680
but if I am honest..
I understand my bro is reaching out- but for someone with such high intelligence he just does not seem to get it. He uses judgmental words- as if he thinks the way I behaved after burning and homelessness etc- was indicative of a rational, normal mind trying to screw him over. I am past the point of putting up with the judgements- he has not bothered to catch me up in 4 1/2 years and seems hell bent on reminding the world (not only me, others too) about how stressed all of this has made him. It is too exhausting with little return...except for migraines. Last time it was 'what is to become of us, how can I trust you?', to which I pointed out he does not know if I am trustworthy because he does not put any time or commitment into seeing who I am becoming- sober. A year ago he definitively stated to me he was over it and wanted no more contact- refusing to be next of kin for more graft surgery. I will in time, not feel anything but placid acceptance- in about 9 trillion years.
On a better note- went for a sanity drive in the hills- scarred by fires, but slowly life moves forward. The hill in the very far background is about 300 feet high- the brown colour is the bushfire that reduced all the trees to ash. While not a mile away- the trees in the foreground show signs of being blackened by fires years ago.
I understand my bro is reaching out- but for someone with such high intelligence he just does not seem to get it. He uses judgmental words- as if he thinks the way I behaved after burning and homelessness etc- was indicative of a rational, normal mind trying to screw him over. I am past the point of putting up with the judgements- he has not bothered to catch me up in 4 1/2 years and seems hell bent on reminding the world (not only me, others too) about how stressed all of this has made him. It is too exhausting with little return...except for migraines. Last time it was 'what is to become of us, how can I trust you?', to which I pointed out he does not know if I am trustworthy because he does not put any time or commitment into seeing who I am becoming- sober. A year ago he definitively stated to me he was over it and wanted no more contact- refusing to be next of kin for more graft surgery. I will in time, not feel anything but placid acceptance- in about 9 trillion years.
On a better note- went for a sanity drive in the hills- scarred by fires, but slowly life moves forward. The hill in the very far background is about 300 feet high- the brown colour is the bushfire that reduced all the trees to ash. While not a mile away- the trees in the foreground show signs of being blackened by fires years ago.
Member
Join Date: May 2015
Posts: 32,382
PJ - "Words are poor things, given us to conceal our thoughts".
I see you and your brother each doing what you can to keep yourselves safe after enduring major psychic pain.
Is it possible to "sip the honey, cast away the sting"?
Apologies if the above is a load of drip.
Kindest thoughts.
I see you and your brother each doing what you can to keep yourselves safe after enduring major psychic pain.
Is it possible to "sip the honey, cast away the sting"?
Apologies if the above is a load of drip.
Kindest thoughts.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2016
Location: Adelaide, Australia
Posts: 28,680
I got there folks- took me a little while. I accept (always did) but feel no need to convince bro of who I am. I will cut him a little slack, I do not have any other FOO left, so some effort does not cost me anything...no spare brothers
Member
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: German Village, Columbus with my love ♥
Posts: 88,520
I think your questions are lovely Caramel....you care, and you remember things that people. say. 
s
(I think PJ had to cancel an aunt and uncle visit at Christmas due to a migraine.....but I may be remembering wrong xx).
s(I think PJ had to cancel an aunt and uncle visit at Christmas due to a migraine.....but I may be remembering wrong xx).
Member
Join Date: Apr 2010
Posts: 6,666
Hi guys! What's the craic?!
Sorry for not checking in in a while, it's been all busy here.
2016 is a while ago now! Guess that makes us all good friends?
Was my bday the other day, which got me to thinking about logging on
I have to say, I'm so grateful for the support I got from this board these past few years (truly & honestly)
I'm sorry that I'm not in a postion to offer much of same.
Things are kinda crazy here! Not bad, but- apocalyptic surely! wtf?
End of daze and all that... What can we do? Stay cool, and whatnot...
I dunno what else to say. I had a drink this evening, meh...
(first time in a long time, indeed)
Is eveyrone good? I hope so. I'm truly grateful
I can write when I want to, but I do play music mostly so..
Please excuse me. Love u guys! And everyone, kinda.
Even our enemies! Bastards... (lol)
PEACE! (on earth)
YES YOU ARE (In his image)
Praiseworthy tunes!
All the best folks x
Stevo
Sorry for not checking in in a while, it's been all busy here.
2016 is a while ago now! Guess that makes us all good friends?
Was my bday the other day, which got me to thinking about logging on
I have to say, I'm so grateful for the support I got from this board these past few years (truly & honestly)
I'm sorry that I'm not in a postion to offer much of same.
Things are kinda crazy here! Not bad, but- apocalyptic surely! wtf?
End of daze and all that... What can we do? Stay cool, and whatnot...
I dunno what else to say. I had a drink this evening, meh...
(first time in a long time, indeed)
Is eveyrone good? I hope so. I'm truly grateful
I can write when I want to, but I do play music mostly so..
Please excuse me. Love u guys! And everyone, kinda.
Even our enemies! Bastards... (lol)
PEACE! (on earth)
YES YOU ARE (In his image)
Praiseworthy tunes!
All the best folks x
Stevo
Member
Join Date: Apr 2010
Posts: 6,666
Originally Posted by Bobbieka 
Good to hear from you Spacegoat. I hope things are going better for you. ❤️
What can I say? Waiters gonna hate- Alligators gonna alligate!
I dunno how it works, but it does, and it will work out just fine #
Once we get rid of the (prvrts) we are onto a winner! ( struth & truth)
Interesting... Anyway, thanks for the support! Our side is winning...
Much , much love (babe!)
Not much planned for the weekend (Thank goodness) so I should be around Member
Join Date: Jun 2016
Location: Adelaide, Australia
Posts: 28,680
I still see my aunt and unc every few months. Daily contact with their daughter, my cuz- by playing one of those online word games. She always wins- but I enjoy the games- as it makes my fried brain think.
Bro sent another email- saying thanks, and he is rethinking, based on my reply, which was (if I say so myself) quite objective (for me) and had no sting in it's tail- so to speak (too many brackets for one sentence).
Other bro died many years ago now- of course his death always haunts me for THOSE reasons which I seem to rattle off too much.
Bro sent another email- saying thanks, and he is rethinking, based on my reply, which was (if I say so myself) quite objective (for me) and had no sting in it's tail- so to speak (too many brackets for one sentence).
Other bro died many years ago now- of course his death always haunts me for THOSE reasons which I seem to rattle off too much.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2016
Location: US
Posts: 16,909
Saturday morning w/ startin' fluid ~ got some of the good stuff when I walked up to Dunkin Donuts....Dark Roast....plus now they have the Girl Scout Cookie flavors again, so I may have to go back 
I plan on attending an online Smart meeting at 12:30 today if anyone is interested....I don't use the video or microphone, just the chat....and you can observe if you'd rather not participate....just throwing it out there....plus the facilitator's name is Phoenix Rising, so you know it's good!
I plan on attending an online Smart meeting at 12:30 today if anyone is interested....I don't use the video or microphone, just the chat....and you can observe if you'd rather not participate....just throwing it out there....plus the facilitator's name is Phoenix Rising, so you know it's good!
Member
Join Date: Mar 2016
Location: US
Posts: 16,909
Same here PJ....started out good....at least I got some exercise, attended online meeting, now I feel more anxiety/drained afterwards....this one was pretty heavy....I feel bad for those struggling....got some Youtube music going; maybe a good time to take a nap...
Hope everyone is doing okay this weekend!
Hope everyone is doing okay this weekend!
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
