Class of March 2016 Part 81
Member
Join Date: Jun 2016
Location: Adelaide, Australia
Posts: 28,671
I will see that too, B. Just finished watching a Stephen King written 'fantasy' movie- the Dark Tower. There is an abandoned amusement park where- the half hidden sign reads 'Pennywise'. The kid in this flick - who has this psychic power the bad guy sorcerer (Matthew Mc-C) wants to drain out of him to break the peace of the universe....this power is called the Shine.
Lost 5kg in 3w. Big walkies after gym- I am lucky to live just 30m (excluding rat race peak hour traffic) from this beach. Taken near Glenelg. NO migraines, less pain from burnt bits, ….not overthinking...my big plan with not overthinking is to be completely exhausted at night- thus sleep. But being careful, doing good stuff..
Lost 5kg in 3w. Big walkies after gym- I am lucky to live just 30m (excluding rat race peak hour traffic) from this beach. Taken near Glenelg. NO migraines, less pain from burnt bits, ….not overthinking...my big plan with not overthinking is to be completely exhausted at night- thus sleep. But being careful, doing good stuff..
Member
Join Date: May 2014
Location: Valley of the Sun, AZ
Posts: 3,458
I wasn’t aware of a sequel either. Thanks Bobbie.
I like that pic, PJ. And that Dark Tower movie is pretty good.
The football game didn’t turn out as I hoped, and I ended up staying up too late to boot!! So now I am at the airport and I feel like the dog in your bottom pic, Purps
I’m gonna find a window seat and try and sleep.
I like that pic, PJ. And that Dark Tower movie is pretty good.
The football game didn’t turn out as I hoped, and I ended up staying up too late to boot!! So now I am at the airport and I feel like the dog in your bottom pic, Purps
I’m gonna find a window seat and try and sleep.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2016
Location: St. Louis, Mo
Posts: 7,334
lol - BBG. Not going to lie - I really see you as a westerns kind of guy.
Great picture, PHX.
I love the Dark Towers series. I don't think I ever watched it though. Might have to check that out. I used to be obsessed with everything King. Then I'd get all dark and stuff so I stopped reading him for a while.
It was a good weekend with grand babies and family. I have another article being published, this week, I think. Now, to just figure out a way to get paid for this...maybe one day.
Have a great day, friends.
Great picture, PHX.
I love the Dark Towers series. I don't think I ever watched it though. Might have to check that out. I used to be obsessed with everything King. Then I'd get all dark and stuff so I stopped reading him for a while.
It was a good weekend with grand babies and family. I have another article being published, this week, I think. Now, to just figure out a way to get paid for this...maybe one day.
Have a great day, friends.
Maybe roll call? Thirteenth U still there? 
Member
Join Date: Feb 2016
Location: St. Louis, Mo
Posts: 7,334
I go back and forth. I could take an intensive writing course, but the writing group I hooked up with last year was headed up by a woman who offers her own and helps you get published. She is just really expensive and I go back and forth. Maybe though. I know I'm going to have to do something more if I want to get published. I'm okay right now just submitting to the free publications though.
Yeah, 13th. Where are you?
Yeah, 13th. Where are you?
Member
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: German Village, Columbus with my love ♥
Posts: 88,509
Bobbie. why not work out a way to attract advertising to your blog?
You don't need anyone to teach you how to write love, or to attract an audience....not at all. I also should and could be doing this as well and am still working it out. (I already have a title that will work to attract the advertisers I am looking for and it's a good idea).
Currently I am making changes because I realised I have been trying to carry 4 plates at once and I am dropping things. so first things first, but soon.
s
You don't need anyone to teach you how to write love, or to attract an audience....not at all. I also should and could be doing this as well and am still working it out. (I already have a title that will work to attract the advertisers I am looking for and it's a good idea).
Currently I am making changes because I realised I have been trying to carry 4 plates at once and I am dropping things. so first things first, but soon.
s
Member
Join Date: Jun 2010
Posts: 3,190
Morning everybody. Checkin' in with startin' fluid in hand!
Bobbie I haven't read anything that you've written. Where can I find something? If you can write web content you can do very well financially. Either on your own or freelance.
I can't write worth a darned but I do earn money with my own website!
Bobbie I haven't read anything that you've written. Where can I find something? If you can write web content you can do very well financially. Either on your own or freelance.
I can't write worth a darned but I do earn money with my own website!
Member
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: German Village, Columbus with my love ♥
Posts: 88,509
I am sure Boobie wouldn't mind if I sent you links love.....but I best leave it to her. Her writing is amazing....I think any publisher would grab her stuff.
And hi. xxxxx
And hi.
xxxxx
Member
Join Date: Feb 2016
Location: St. Louis, Mo
Posts: 7,334
Thanks, Suze.
I'll send links. I suck at the website stuff, BBG. Maybe you can help me??
Mostly I write about recovery stuff, Falling Leaves. About being the mom of a heroin addict and about my own recovery. I took a bit of a break for the past few months, husband's heart attack, dad got sick, just a lot of overwhelming life stuff. Started back again.
Thanks for the encouragement, Suze! I get you on carrying too many plates. Glad you are putting some down.
I'll send links. I suck at the website stuff, BBG. Maybe you can help me??
Mostly I write about recovery stuff, Falling Leaves. About being the mom of a heroin addict and about my own recovery. I took a bit of a break for the past few months, husband's heart attack, dad got sick, just a lot of overwhelming life stuff. Started back again.
Thanks for the encouragement, Suze! I get you on carrying too many plates. Glad you are putting some down.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2016
Location: St. Louis, Mo
Posts: 7,334
BBG - I can't send you the links, but here is a piece I wrote recently about my suicide attempt.
I watched as Bradley Cooper’s character glanced at the camera and pulled down the garage door. I couldn’t breathe. I knew what he was going to do. I knew what he was feeling. I glanced at my husband, who was now sound asleep. I started to cry.
It has been 4 years for me. 4 years since I woke up in the ER surrounded by family. 4 years since I felt what he was feeling on that screen. But I knew those feelings intimately. He was just a character in a movie, but at that moment, he was me. Aging, past his prime, alcoholic, an embarrassment to his family. I had become all those things.
I had this big plan. I’d been thinking about it for a while, but always found a reason to put it off. I was always looking for a reason to put it off. But this day, this Friday morning, I really couldn’t find a reason to stay. I had made a big mess of our lives. My oldest son was angry with me, I was no longer allowed to babysit, my youngest daughter wanted absolutely nothing to do with me, my husband told me he didn’t want to be married to a drunk and my best friend of forty-something years just told me she was done with me. I knew people would grieve, but not over who I was right then, but over who I had been before the alcohol changed me. They would be sad, but they already were. In my head, this would provide my family with the opportunity to move on and stop worrying about me.
You would think that the simple thing to do, and the most obvious thing to do would be to quit drinking. I tried. Every day. I was afraid. It had become such a part of who I was, I was terrified to live without it. My crutch had become my lifeline.
So, I grabbed the bottle of Xanax that I had talked my friend into giving me, I poured them on the counter and mentally thought, that should do it. I grabbed a beer out of the fridge, and I put them all in my mouth. I swallowed them with a big pull from the beer. I went to my room to lay down. I thought I would just drift off to sleep and not wake up again. It would be over.
Suddenly I became frantic. I wasn’t done. I loved my family, and I couldn’t do this. I tried to throw it all up and couldn’t. I called my husband. I didn’t want him to know what I had done, so I began telling him without telling him. I wanted him to come home so my daughter wouldn’t be the one to find me. I was having a tough time being coherent at this point.
I vaguely remember the ambulance and the paramedics. I sort of remember our dear friend showing up to make sure I was still alive. The rest is vague.
I spent almost a week in the psych ward. During the first couple of days, I was still messed up from the Xanax. I know my husband feared I had damaged my brain. Slowly, I began reading. I joined the group stuff. I talked to doctors. I just wanted to go home.
I was okay but felt strange for a couple of weeks. I didn’t know how to exist without alcohol. So, I started drinking again. Slowly at first, then a lot. Right back where I was. It took more fight from me. It took strength I wasn’t sure I had. But the looks from my family was enough. The fact that they kept showing up for me was enough. It was time I showed up for them.
Then, one day, I did. I made an appointment with an addiction counselor. I began doing the work to heal myself. From the inside. It was work, but all I had to do was follow directions. I had to dig deep and look inside myself for what got me there in the first place.
Little did I know that day 4 years ago, how much living I still had to do. I didn’t understand how fulfilling it would be to heal the damaged relationships with my children. I didn’t know how much I could love my husband, whose love saved me. And those grand babies. It scares me to think I almost missed all of this.
So, I sit here, grateful for the second chance that Bradley Cooper’s character and so many others don’t get. I still have a lot of things to do. I have a lot of life to live. And, if you are ever thinking you can’t find a reason not to, remember me. The purpose was always there. I just lost sight of it for a minute.
I watched as Bradley Cooper’s character glanced at the camera and pulled down the garage door. I couldn’t breathe. I knew what he was going to do. I knew what he was feeling. I glanced at my husband, who was now sound asleep. I started to cry.
It has been 4 years for me. 4 years since I woke up in the ER surrounded by family. 4 years since I felt what he was feeling on that screen. But I knew those feelings intimately. He was just a character in a movie, but at that moment, he was me. Aging, past his prime, alcoholic, an embarrassment to his family. I had become all those things.
I had this big plan. I’d been thinking about it for a while, but always found a reason to put it off. I was always looking for a reason to put it off. But this day, this Friday morning, I really couldn’t find a reason to stay. I had made a big mess of our lives. My oldest son was angry with me, I was no longer allowed to babysit, my youngest daughter wanted absolutely nothing to do with me, my husband told me he didn’t want to be married to a drunk and my best friend of forty-something years just told me she was done with me. I knew people would grieve, but not over who I was right then, but over who I had been before the alcohol changed me. They would be sad, but they already were. In my head, this would provide my family with the opportunity to move on and stop worrying about me.
You would think that the simple thing to do, and the most obvious thing to do would be to quit drinking. I tried. Every day. I was afraid. It had become such a part of who I was, I was terrified to live without it. My crutch had become my lifeline.
So, I grabbed the bottle of Xanax that I had talked my friend into giving me, I poured them on the counter and mentally thought, that should do it. I grabbed a beer out of the fridge, and I put them all in my mouth. I swallowed them with a big pull from the beer. I went to my room to lay down. I thought I would just drift off to sleep and not wake up again. It would be over.
Suddenly I became frantic. I wasn’t done. I loved my family, and I couldn’t do this. I tried to throw it all up and couldn’t. I called my husband. I didn’t want him to know what I had done, so I began telling him without telling him. I wanted him to come home so my daughter wouldn’t be the one to find me. I was having a tough time being coherent at this point.
I vaguely remember the ambulance and the paramedics. I sort of remember our dear friend showing up to make sure I was still alive. The rest is vague.
I spent almost a week in the psych ward. During the first couple of days, I was still messed up from the Xanax. I know my husband feared I had damaged my brain. Slowly, I began reading. I joined the group stuff. I talked to doctors. I just wanted to go home.
I was okay but felt strange for a couple of weeks. I didn’t know how to exist without alcohol. So, I started drinking again. Slowly at first, then a lot. Right back where I was. It took more fight from me. It took strength I wasn’t sure I had. But the looks from my family was enough. The fact that they kept showing up for me was enough. It was time I showed up for them.
Then, one day, I did. I made an appointment with an addiction counselor. I began doing the work to heal myself. From the inside. It was work, but all I had to do was follow directions. I had to dig deep and look inside myself for what got me there in the first place.
Little did I know that day 4 years ago, how much living I still had to do. I didn’t understand how fulfilling it would be to heal the damaged relationships with my children. I didn’t know how much I could love my husband, whose love saved me. And those grand babies. It scares me to think I almost missed all of this.
So, I sit here, grateful for the second chance that Bradley Cooper’s character and so many others don’t get. I still have a lot of things to do. I have a lot of life to live. And, if you are ever thinking you can’t find a reason not to, remember me. The purpose was always there. I just lost sight of it for a minute.
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Join Date: Apr 2017
Location: UK
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I was looking for the 24 hour thread and clicked on this thread by mistake and then I started reading your post Bobbieka and it completely drew me in and I couldn't stop reading. I know I'm an imposter here but just had to say WOW. Your words made me cry. You write with such ease and authenticity.... Your words are written straight from your heart and I, as a reader can feel the power behind them. I'm so happy the paramedics were called 4 years ago..... I'm so happy for you and your family that you are here to tell the world your story. And the world needs to hear it. 15 people a day commit suicide in the UK alone - the global number must be huge. By you writing so honestly about your experience... About how you felt before taking the pills..... And about your journey of recovery.... You'll be able to provide support for people who may feel that nobody understands. You'll also be able to raise awareness across society as a whole. Please keep writing and doing everything you can to get published. The world needs to hear what you have to say. Sorry. I only meant to say that I loved your post.... I seem to have got carried away. I'm off to find the 24 hour thread xxxx
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Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: German Village, Columbus with my love ♥
Posts: 88,509
Very glad I got to erase the post I just wrote....hope no one saw it. s
I just lost my mind for a minute....that scene in Star is Born destroyed me.
That was me....not the garage....but 250 pills at 16.
I love you Bobbie.
I can help you with anything you like re web stuff, so between us all.....your star shall rise.
sI just lost my mind for a minute....that scene in Star is Born destroyed me.
That was me....not the garage....but 250 pills at 16.
I love you Bobbie.
I can help you with anything you like re web stuff, so between us all.....your star shall rise.
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