Class of August Part 1 2019
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Join Date: Dec 2012
Posts: 7,097
Great result Patterson 
Struggled this evening. Felt off all day and so a normal person would just come home rest and take care. No,I came home and wanted to drink. How mixed up is that. I had the internal battle, the dialogue with the AV. I only won as I didn't want to have a hangover tomorrow.
Feeling pretty lousy. Trying to lose weight, exercising regularly, eating better (apart from lapses like Saturday night) and it's just not shifting. just feel like giving it all up. I do have it to lose too. Jst feel fed up
Hope everyone else has had a better day Night all
Struggled this evening. Felt off all day and so a normal person would just come home rest and take care. No,I came home and wanted to drink. How mixed up is that. I had the internal battle, the dialogue with the AV. I only won as I didn't want to have a hangover tomorrow.
Feeling pretty lousy. Trying to lose weight, exercising regularly, eating better (apart from lapses like Saturday night) and it's just not shifting. just feel like giving it all up. I do have it to lose too. Jst feel fed up
Hope everyone else has had a better day Night all
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Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: German Village, Columbus with my love ♥
Posts: 88,534
Love.....please be nicer to you. 
It's not messed up....it is an addiction....it's hard to let go of. For sure. s
Those thoughts are normal for all of us who have dealt with/are dealing with alcohol.
And I need to lose weight too....I was skinny and then menopause kicked me in the butt just after I got married....not fun.....I am trying. So are you. And every day we get another chance to do better.
You are doing great if you get through the day without a drink right now....this is the absolute focus.....everything else is a bonus, and I promise it will come. Peace and the ability to deal with life as it hits us....it will come.
So much love and goodnight honey. s
It's not messed up....it is an addiction....it's hard to let go of. For sure.
sThose thoughts are normal for all of us who have dealt with/are dealing with alcohol.
And I need to lose weight too....I was skinny and then menopause kicked me in the butt just after I got married....not fun.....I am trying. So are you. And every day we get another chance to do better.
You are doing great if you get through the day without a drink right now....this is the absolute focus.....everything else is a bonus, and I promise it will come. Peace and the ability to deal with life as it hits us....it will come.
So much love and goodnight honey.
s
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Join Date: Dec 2017
Posts: 752
Readyatlast
Sry you are struggling you can always pm me if you need to talk!! I know the feeling all to well with feeling off and wanting to give up just remember your life is worth living sober keep your head up and keep trying we are all in this together
Sry you are struggling you can always pm me if you need to talk!! I know the feeling all to well with feeling off and wanting to give up just remember your life is worth living sober keep your head up and keep trying we are all in this together
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Join Date: Sep 2015
Location: Iowa
Posts: 627
Hi Erratic, good to see you as well. I did have some good time under my belt, about 10 months in 2018. But I have really been struggling to find sobriety again since my relapse in February earlier this year. We have to just keep on trying! It has to stick at some point, right? Have a great day at work.
RAL - what is the RR book? I'm reading Recovery by Russell Brand and taking a try at the steps. I'm always looking for good sobriety books. Sorry you had a bad day today and are feeling lousy. You should be proud of yourself for winning the fight with the AV! Your sober muscles are getting stronger!! Please don't give up! And don't worry about all those other things. Just focus on today and not drinking. All that other stuff will come in good time.
NicLin - congrats on day 32! So awesome! I'm sorry working the first step made you cry, I hope it was a therapeutic cry, a purge of sorts. It's hard to face up to the hard truths of our addiction but you are really working this and it shows! Good on you!!
LoveDD - thank you. I really, really want to be sober. I know if I don't get back here I'll be on a slippery slope of destruction. In my heart I know that I am at a serious crossroads. My drinking just keeps escalating and it's not even fun. Sometimes it feels like it's happening to me, you know? I've read the Naked Mind book...it was a great book and I'll have to look up the podcasts. Have you heard of the Recovery Elevator podcasts? Those are fantastic, too! I listened to it on my way to work and home today. Great job on Day 5!
Horsewhiperer - congrats on day 15! Isn't it crazy the fantasies our cravings put into our heads? Like I seriously never do any of the things my AV tells me I will if I drink. My drinking has turned into just getting smashed alone at home. Then spending the whole next day sick as a dog recovering. The only thing I want to recover now is my life.
venuscat - thank you friend. I have surrendered and I have hope. You are right, I am going to hold on tight to the memory of this last hangover. It was brutal, I was really scared I had done damage...and maybe I did...or maybe it was a little bit of destiny slipping in and providing a glimpse of what the drinking has turned into. For now I will just focus on ODAAT and today I will not drink.
Pelagic263 - I also have dealt with depression and anxiety my entire life. The funny thing is we think we are self-medicating but really alcohol only makes it all worse. When I drink my anxiety is through the roof the next day and for a few days following. I hope you fond something other than alcohol to treat your depression.
Patterson - your BBQ sounds lovely and I'm glad you were able to get through without any cravings. Sometimes this early in the game it's better to leave temptation at the door? It's true for me anyway. Congrats on Day 12!
Hi nichole good to see you again
I still felt pretty tired today but full of gratitude for getting past the worst of it. I'm taking things very easy this week and being kind to myself. I think the key to this is finding self-compassion and loving ourselves enough to not want to hurt anymore. Not exactly sure how to do it but just going to work at it each day.
Much love and hugs to you all.
RAL - what is the RR book? I'm reading Recovery by Russell Brand and taking a try at the steps. I'm always looking for good sobriety books. Sorry you had a bad day today and are feeling lousy. You should be proud of yourself for winning the fight with the AV! Your sober muscles are getting stronger!! Please don't give up! And don't worry about all those other things. Just focus on today and not drinking. All that other stuff will come in good time.
NicLin - congrats on day 32! So awesome! I'm sorry working the first step made you cry, I hope it was a therapeutic cry, a purge of sorts. It's hard to face up to the hard truths of our addiction but you are really working this and it shows! Good on you!!
LoveDD - thank you. I really, really want to be sober. I know if I don't get back here I'll be on a slippery slope of destruction. In my heart I know that I am at a serious crossroads. My drinking just keeps escalating and it's not even fun. Sometimes it feels like it's happening to me, you know? I've read the Naked Mind book...it was a great book and I'll have to look up the podcasts. Have you heard of the Recovery Elevator podcasts? Those are fantastic, too! I listened to it on my way to work and home today. Great job on Day 5!
Horsewhiperer - congrats on day 15! Isn't it crazy the fantasies our cravings put into our heads? Like I seriously never do any of the things my AV tells me I will if I drink. My drinking has turned into just getting smashed alone at home. Then spending the whole next day sick as a dog recovering. The only thing I want to recover now is my life.
venuscat - thank you friend. I have surrendered and I have hope. You are right, I am going to hold on tight to the memory of this last hangover. It was brutal, I was really scared I had done damage...and maybe I did...or maybe it was a little bit of destiny slipping in and providing a glimpse of what the drinking has turned into. For now I will just focus on ODAAT and today I will not drink.
Pelagic263 - I also have dealt with depression and anxiety my entire life. The funny thing is we think we are self-medicating but really alcohol only makes it all worse. When I drink my anxiety is through the roof the next day and for a few days following. I hope you fond something other than alcohol to treat your depression.
Patterson - your BBQ sounds lovely and I'm glad you were able to get through without any cravings. Sometimes this early in the game it's better to leave temptation at the door? It's true for me anyway. Congrats on Day 12!
Hi nichole good to see you again
I still felt pretty tired today but full of gratitude for getting past the worst of it. I'm taking things very easy this week and being kind to myself. I think the key to this is finding self-compassion and loving ourselves enough to not want to hurt anymore. Not exactly sure how to do it but just going to work at it each day.
Much love and hugs to you all.
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Join Date: Oct 2016
Posts: 221
KGirl I’m impressed by your ability to respond to everyone’s post’s! I read and appreciate every single person’s post everyday but I still have some “brain fog” right now so it’s difficult to get everyone in my responses. I am going to look up that podcast tonight
Day 5 is coming to an end for me. Trying to remember to take it one day at a time because the thought of “never drinking again ever” is very daunting. I almost feel like I’m going to fail at not drinking because I am having a hard time coming to terms with it. I know I don’t want to drink today or tomorrow or next week but the FOREVER thing is too much. Hoping over time this is something that gets easier.
Anyways, got off work first thing this morning, got a little sleep, spent some time with the kids, spent a little time in the garden, caught up on SR posts now going to relax and head to bed.
Keep it up everyone!
Day 5 is coming to an end for me. Trying to remember to take it one day at a time because the thought of “never drinking again ever” is very daunting. I almost feel like I’m going to fail at not drinking because I am having a hard time coming to terms with it. I know I don’t want to drink today or tomorrow or next week but the FOREVER thing is too much. Hoping over time this is something that gets easier.
Anyways, got off work first thing this morning, got a little sleep, spent some time with the kids, spent a little time in the garden, caught up on SR posts now going to relax and head to bed.
Keep it up everyone!
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Join Date: Aug 2019
Posts: 164
Originally Posted by Patterson 
Hello everyone, my boyfriend and I had a little BBQ last night. The weather was beautiful... you can feel summer winding down
and the leaves are starting to turn colour. The neighbours were all out doing the same thing, cracking beers and having a good time.
We have some in the fridge, my boyfriend drinks occasionally like normal people do. He just had one last night, I honestly didn't feel
like any at all. I have some important things to do today and need a clear head. Maybe I'm finally starting to think like a normal person?
Cause not very long ago I would have drank everything in the fridge, gone out to get more, and tried to head off withdrawal and a hangover
by drinking in the morning.. doh...
12 days and I'm feeling pretty good
and the leaves are starting to turn colour. The neighbours were all out doing the same thing, cracking beers and having a good time.
We have some in the fridge, my boyfriend drinks occasionally like normal people do. He just had one last night, I honestly didn't feel
like any at all. I have some important things to do today and need a clear head. Maybe I'm finally starting to think like a normal person?
Cause not very long ago I would have drank everything in the fridge, gone out to get more, and tried to head off withdrawal and a hangover
by drinking in the morning.. doh...
12 days and I'm feeling pretty good
Member
Join Date: Aug 2019
Posts: 164
Originally Posted by kgirl41
You don't have to think about not drinking tomorrow or not drinking for a week or 20 years or forever. You only have to think about today. Today is all we have.
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Join Date: Sep 2014
Location: Arizona, USA
Posts: 1,598
Day 26 is wrapping up. Holy crap, today was a rough one. Came so close to drinking over an ex. But damned if God didn’t stop me. My mind was telling me to drink, but my soul wouldn’t let me. I know that may sound weird or overly dramatic, but I mean it. My soul told me it was not up to the task of dealing with what tomorrow would entail if I drank today. I even had to stop at the convenience store where I usually get my booze to get gas. While I was paying, I saw that bottle with the blue top staring at me. I thought I’d be overcome, but I wasn’t. I walked out the door and drove home. I won’t lie, I’m still aching over the thought of my ex and having a crappy night, but I will sleep well tonight. Tomorrow morning I won’t be checking my texts for what I sent to who (again). I won’t feel guilty for trying to call my 12 year old daughter at midnight (again). I won’t wonder if I drove my car (again). I won’t wake up in jail (again), I won’t have to take a handful of Xanax to chase off the dark thoughts (again). I won’t have to drink more to chase off the shakes (again). I won’t have to call an ambulance because I can’t breathe (again). I won’t have to think of another lie for why I’m not at work (again). I won’t have to tell my sponsor and my home group that I’m on day one again (again). Yep, that bottle can just stay right on the shelf where I saw it (at last). It’s no longer worth it to me.
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Join Date: Mar 2014
Location: Western New York
Posts: 2,448
Hi August class - joining you today on my day 2. Been sober on again off again, looking to make it on again for good. My wife has been getting worse and worse with her drinking, which has been very hard on me. Not an excuse, but it adds a large element of problems out of my control that has been rough
My own drinking progresses from controlled to white knuckle moderation to every day drinking in a few short a few months. Its not sustainable and I know that. I guess I keep wanting it not to be a problem, but of course it is. Escaping from my problems doesn't help.
I started reading through the thread before work this morning, but having had a chance to catch up. Looking forward to reading everyones stories
Hi venuscat! I didn't realize you were helping out moderating on the class threads too. I guess Dee can't work all of the timezones!
My own drinking progresses from controlled to white knuckle moderation to every day drinking in a few short a few months. Its not sustainable and I know that. I guess I keep wanting it not to be a problem, but of course it is. Escaping from my problems doesn't help.
I started reading through the thread before work this morning, but having had a chance to catch up. Looking forward to reading everyones stories
Hi venuscat! I didn't realize you were helping out moderating on the class threads too. I guess Dee can't work all of the timezones!
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Join Date: Sep 2014
Location: Arizona, USA
Posts: 1,598
Originally Posted by kgirl41
I'm reading Recovery by Russell Brand and taking a try at the steps.:
Member
Join Date: Aug 2019
Posts: 164
My day 4 turned out to be better than I thought. I went back to work after being embarrassed there last week and being sent home. No one said a word which was good. Hopefully tomorrow brings more of the same. Drove by the liquor store and so wanted to stop but I didn't, went to the grocery store and bought myself treat instead.
RAL way to fight that internal battle, tomorrow will be a better day because of it.
RAL way to fight that internal battle, tomorrow will be a better day because of it.
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Join Date: Dec 2012
Posts: 7,097
Hi Everyone,
Thank you for all your kind words overnight. I cannot tell you how relieved and glad I feel that I didn't drink last night.
Venus - I'm the same. Had a premature menopause and losing weight since is a total uphill struggle. I know I expect to see results too soon though and lose interest when I don't. I have to tell myself it's a complete life overhaul of changing eating habits and exercising regularly, plus steps, no alcohol and healthy choices. It's not a st diet. On a positive note I'm a pound down this morning so delighted
Nichole-thanks for your kindness, you are very thoughtful. I hope you had a good day yesterday
Pelagic -for me the early days f sobriety are very depressing and also bring back my life long depression whcih alcohol temporarily hides, When I got sober for 3.5 years though my dpression went completely. It takes months but does improve. Keep on trucking
kgirl-The book is Rational Recovery:AVRT . It's all about the AV and I would recommend it. It got and kept me sober years ago. I def need to read it again now.
Dee i have looked into AA before and been to meetings but just felt so uncomfortable. I know getting sober isn't meant to be easy and comfy but I hate groups. I am looking at what got me sober last time. But I know fundamentally it boils down to wanting to be sober more than wanting to drink.
Trojan horse-thank you and many congrats on day 4
Welcome nmd and rainbowalien
babm-great result on not drinking. Early weeks bring up all sorts of memories don't they
LoveDD-cngrats on day 5! Hope you get a decent sleep and work goes well tomorrow.
Day 3 here, feeling more positive. Weather decent, off to work. thank God I'm sober.
Thank you for all your kind words overnight. I cannot tell you how relieved and glad I feel that I didn't drink last night.
Venus - I'm the same. Had a premature menopause and losing weight since is a total uphill struggle. I know I expect to see results too soon though and lose interest when I don't. I have to tell myself it's a complete life overhaul of changing eating habits and exercising regularly, plus steps, no alcohol and healthy choices. It's not a st diet. On a positive note I'm a pound down this morning so delighted
Nichole-thanks for your kindness, you are very thoughtful. I hope you had a good day yesterday
Pelagic -for me the early days f sobriety are very depressing and also bring back my life long depression whcih alcohol temporarily hides, When I got sober for 3.5 years though my dpression went completely. It takes months but does improve. Keep on trucking
kgirl-The book is Rational Recovery:AVRT . It's all about the AV and I would recommend it. It got and kept me sober years ago. I def need to read it again now.
Dee i have looked into AA before and been to meetings but just felt so uncomfortable. I know getting sober isn't meant to be easy and comfy but I hate groups. I am looking at what got me sober last time. But I know fundamentally it boils down to wanting to be sober more than wanting to drink.
Trojan horse-thank you and many congrats on day 4
Welcome nmd and rainbowalien
babm-great result on not drinking. Early weeks bring up all sorts of memories don't they
LoveDD-cngrats on day 5! Hope you get a decent sleep and work goes well tomorrow.
Day 3 here, feeling more positive. Weather decent, off to work. thank God I'm sober.
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Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,475
well I didn't go to AA either RAL but I did commit to doing everything possible not to drink - that meant a TON of changes - and an acceptance that this would be my new way of life....
but it was all worth it 100 times over
D
but it was all worth it 100 times over
D
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Join Date: Aug 2019
Posts: 15
Day 16. Morning coffee. Yesterday was interesting. While I was walking my dog my AV suddenly decides to kick up: "What the point of not drinking? You are probably going to be diagnosed with some awful disease soon, you may even die prematurely. So what's the point of all this sobriety? Just think how foolish your attempts at not drinking will look like then on your deathbed." I told my AV to shut up and that pouring ethanol into my system will be the very thing that 'might' tip me over into disease. Go away. So odd the things it comes out with.
The death and disease thing is interesting. I've always had a paranoia about dying and dying early and always had a phobia of dying in such a manner that meant that I was not prepared for the afterlife and had squandered my life this side of eternity. It is quite empowering to take back control and to confront these fears. To know that whatever else happens, at least I will die clean and can face most of it with a clear mind. It's at this point one realises that drinking is a form of slow suicide, a contracting out from life and numbing it. Hovering in the shadows of life but not really living it.
The second thing I've begun to notice is how that, despite lots more sleep, I still feel tired at times. I think this might be just the body and mind playing catch up. I'm getting so much sleep now and I'm not complaining.
Nothing planned for today other than possibly a run out to visit my mother. I seem to have got back a lot of time and days that were normally just lost to me.
The death and disease thing is interesting. I've always had a paranoia about dying and dying early and always had a phobia of dying in such a manner that meant that I was not prepared for the afterlife and had squandered my life this side of eternity. It is quite empowering to take back control and to confront these fears. To know that whatever else happens, at least I will die clean and can face most of it with a clear mind. It's at this point one realises that drinking is a form of slow suicide, a contracting out from life and numbing it. Hovering in the shadows of life but not really living it.
The second thing I've begun to notice is how that, despite lots more sleep, I still feel tired at times. I think this might be just the body and mind playing catch up. I'm getting so much sleep now and I'm not complaining.
Nothing planned for today other than possibly a run out to visit my mother. I seem to have got back a lot of time and days that were normally just lost to me.
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Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: German Village, Columbus with my love ♥
Posts: 88,534
Originally Posted by kgirl41
Hi Erratic, good to see you as well. I did have some good time under my belt, about 10 months in 2018. But I have really been struggling to find sobriety again since my relapse in February earlier this year. We have to just keep on trying! It has to stick at some point, right? Have a great day at work.
RAL - what is the RR book? I'm reading Recovery by Russell Brand and taking a try at the steps. I'm always looking for good sobriety books. Sorry you had a bad day today and are feeling lousy. You should be proud of yourself for winning the fight with the AV! Your sober muscles are getting stronger!! Please don't give up! And don't worry about all those other things. Just focus on today and not drinking. All that other stuff will come in good time.
NicLin - congrats on day 32! So awesome! I'm sorry working the first step made you cry, I hope it was a therapeutic cry, a purge of sorts. It's hard to face up to the hard truths of our addiction but you are really working this and it shows! Good on you!!
LoveDD - thank you. I really, really want to be sober. I know if I don't get back here I'll be on a slippery slope of destruction. In my heart I know that I am at a serious crossroads. My drinking just keeps escalating and it's not even fun. Sometimes it feels like it's happening to me, you know? I've read the Naked Mind book...it was a great book and I'll have to look up the podcasts. Have you heard of the Recovery Elevator podcasts? Those are fantastic, too! I listened to it on my way to work and home today. Great job on Day 5!
Horsewhiperer - congrats on day 15! Isn't it crazy the fantasies our cravings put into our heads? Like I seriously never do any of the things my AV tells me I will if I drink. My drinking has turned into just getting smashed alone at home. Then spending the whole next day sick as a dog recovering. The only thing I want to recover now is my life.
venuscat - thank you friend. I have surrendered and I have hope. You are right, I am going to hold on tight to the memory of this last hangover. It was brutal, I was really scared I had done damage...and maybe I did...or maybe it was a little bit of destiny slipping in and providing a glimpse of what the drinking has turned into. For now I will just focus on ODAAT and today I will not drink.
Pelagic263 - I also have dealt with depression and anxiety my entire life. The funny thing is we think we are self-medicating but really alcohol only makes it all worse. When I drink my anxiety is through the roof the next day and for a few days following. I hope you fond something other than alcohol to treat your depression.
Patterson - your BBQ sounds lovely and I'm glad you were able to get through without any cravings. Sometimes this early in the game it's better to leave temptation at the door? It's true for me anyway. Congrats on Day 12!
Hi nichole good to see you again
I still felt pretty tired today but full of gratitude for getting past the worst of it. I'm taking things very easy this week and being kind to myself. I think the key to this is finding self-compassion and loving ourselves enough to not want to hurt anymore. Not exactly sure how to do it but just going to work at it each day.
Much love and hugs to you all.
RAL - what is the RR book? I'm reading Recovery by Russell Brand and taking a try at the steps. I'm always looking for good sobriety books. Sorry you had a bad day today and are feeling lousy. You should be proud of yourself for winning the fight with the AV! Your sober muscles are getting stronger!! Please don't give up! And don't worry about all those other things. Just focus on today and not drinking. All that other stuff will come in good time.
NicLin - congrats on day 32! So awesome! I'm sorry working the first step made you cry, I hope it was a therapeutic cry, a purge of sorts. It's hard to face up to the hard truths of our addiction but you are really working this and it shows! Good on you!!
LoveDD - thank you. I really, really want to be sober. I know if I don't get back here I'll be on a slippery slope of destruction. In my heart I know that I am at a serious crossroads. My drinking just keeps escalating and it's not even fun. Sometimes it feels like it's happening to me, you know? I've read the Naked Mind book...it was a great book and I'll have to look up the podcasts. Have you heard of the Recovery Elevator podcasts? Those are fantastic, too! I listened to it on my way to work and home today. Great job on Day 5!
Horsewhiperer - congrats on day 15! Isn't it crazy the fantasies our cravings put into our heads? Like I seriously never do any of the things my AV tells me I will if I drink. My drinking has turned into just getting smashed alone at home. Then spending the whole next day sick as a dog recovering. The only thing I want to recover now is my life.
venuscat - thank you friend. I have surrendered and I have hope. You are right, I am going to hold on tight to the memory of this last hangover. It was brutal, I was really scared I had done damage...and maybe I did...or maybe it was a little bit of destiny slipping in and providing a glimpse of what the drinking has turned into. For now I will just focus on ODAAT and today I will not drink.
Pelagic263 - I also have dealt with depression and anxiety my entire life. The funny thing is we think we are self-medicating but really alcohol only makes it all worse. When I drink my anxiety is through the roof the next day and for a few days following. I hope you fond something other than alcohol to treat your depression.
Patterson - your BBQ sounds lovely and I'm glad you were able to get through without any cravings. Sometimes this early in the game it's better to leave temptation at the door? It's true for me anyway. Congrats on Day 12!
Hi nichole good to see you again
I still felt pretty tired today but full of gratitude for getting past the worst of it. I'm taking things very easy this week and being kind to myself. I think the key to this is finding self-compassion and loving ourselves enough to not want to hurt anymore. Not exactly sure how to do it but just going to work at it each day.
Much love and hugs to you all.
My drinking has turned into just getting smashed alone at home. Then spending the whole next day sick as a dog recovering. The only thing I want to recover now is my life.
I think the key to this is finding self-compassion and loving ourselves enough to not want to hurt anymore. Not exactly sure how to do it but just going to work at it each day.
So much love: hope today is a good day.
xx
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Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: German Village, Columbus with my love ♥
Posts: 88,534
Originally Posted by nmd
Hi August class - joining you today on my day 2. Been sober on again off again, looking to make it on again for good. My wife has been getting worse and worse with her drinking, which has been very hard on me. Not an excuse, but it adds a large element of problems out of my control that has been rough
My own drinking progresses from controlled to white knuckle moderation to every day drinking in a few short a few months. Its not sustainable and I know that. I guess I keep wanting it not to be a problem, but of course it is. Escaping from my problems doesn't help.
I started reading through the thread before work this morning, but having had a chance to catch up. Looking forward to reading everyones stories
Hi venuscat! I didn't realize you were helping out moderating on the class threads too. I guess Dee can't work all of the timezones!
My own drinking progresses from controlled to white knuckle moderation to every day drinking in a few short a few months. Its not sustainable and I know that. I guess I keep wanting it not to be a problem, but of course it is. Escaping from my problems doesn't help.
I started reading through the thread before work this morning, but having had a chance to catch up. Looking forward to reading everyones stories
Hi venuscat! I didn't realize you were helping out moderating on the class threads too. I guess Dee can't work all of the timezones!
Very happy to see you back love.
s
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Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: German Village, Columbus with my love ♥
Posts: 88,534
Originally Posted by BeABetterMan
Day 26 is wrapping up. Holy crap, today was a rough one. Came so close to drinking over an ex. But damned if God didn’t stop me. My mind was telling me to drink, but my soul wouldn’t let me. I know that may sound weird or overly dramatic, but I mean it. My soul told me it was not up to the task of dealing with what tomorrow would entail if I drank today. I even had to stop at the convenience store where I usually get my booze to get gas. While I was paying, I saw that bottle with the blue top staring at me. I thought I’d be overcome, but I wasn’t. I walked out the door and drove home. I won’t lie, I’m still aching over the thought of my ex and having a crappy night, but I will sleep well tonight. Tomorrow morning I won’t be checking my texts for what I sent to who (again). I won’t feel guilty for trying to call my 12 year old daughter at midnight (again). I won’t wonder if I drove my car (again). I won’t wake up in jail (again), I won’t have to take a handful of Xanax to chase off the dark thoughts (again). I won’t have to drink more to chase off the shakes (again). I won’t have to call an ambulance because I can’t breathe (again). I won’t have to think of another lie for why I’m not at work (again). I won’t have to tell my sponsor and my home group that I’m on day one again (again). Yep, that bottle can just stay right on the shelf where I saw it (at last). It’s no longer worth it to me.
It could go up on the wall at your home group I think....
s
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