Dee74

last part here

https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums...rt-8-a-20.html (Class of August 2018 Part 8)

D

Bekindalways

Heya all, welcome to part 9, Team Augustonian!

Thanks Dee.

And may you all be heading into a good Thursday!

Sunflower84

Morning,

8:10am, I'm sleeping a lot, but I'm constantly so tired, so tired I feel I can't focus and I'm just really low in mood and so sluggish. My works suffering because I'm having to keep stopping and just lie down and rest, I may go back to the doctors, all my tests came back normal though so I'm wondering if it's just part of recovery. I'm eating well, sleeping well and walking, daily.

Struggling to post at the moment, can't focus.

I'll check in again when I feel more awake, shower and a walk now so that should help.

8 weeks sober tomorrow so that's a positive

Post more when awake...

Thinking of you all!

Much Love.

Katy xxx

Sunflower84

Something to share...

I messaged the Yoga teacher as she's sorting my refund today and knows I'm struggling with anxiety and not feeling up to going. She replied so kindly with this to read so I thought I'd share

"You're not a pain, you are wonderful 🙂

Here's something you may like to read when you're feeling down:

The Mantra of Loving

Because I am the only person I will have a relationship with all of my life, I choose…
To love myself the way I am now
To ALWAYS acknowledge that I am enough just the way I am
To love, honour and cherish this body, mind and spirit
To be my own best friend
To be the person I am happy to spend the rest of my life with
To always take care of myself so that I can take care of others
To always grow, develop and share my love and life
LOVE is the first word in healing
The antidote to stress
The ease that dissolves dis-ease
The vaccine against hatred
Love is the positive action we can take when negative thinking flares and it's what we can always be grateful for

Warm wishes, xx"

I'v had a shower and breakfast, now it's time to get some work done then a walk lunchtime instead. Hope you all have a good day

Katy xxx

Bekindalways

Thanks so much for passing this on Katy. I'm sitting in bed drinking coffee and it is a good way to wake up.

Katy it seems like a few short weeks ago, you had bad insomnia and now all you want to do is sleep . . . . hmmm . . . .seems like you are cycling through the painful and necessary stages of healing from alcoholism. Not that the stages are the same for everyone of course.

So today, I'm hoping to renew meds and make a doc appointment with my depression doc.

DarklingSong

She sounds like a lovely yoga teacher Katy. Thanks for posting despite that frustrating fatigue. I am sure it will pass soon. You have been through so much, maybe your body just needs rest.

Matrac, thanks for the suggestions. I have done CBT over the years. It works pretty well when I have no particular physical symptoms but it doesn't work for me when symptoms are very strong. Only test results calm me down ultimately. I do trust the results....I don't go for endless investigations or doctor shop like many with health anxiety are driven to do. I just need to get through the next few weeks. I have to be honest though, I really do think this could be serious and not just my anxiety magnifying symptoms. However, I have felt that before and been wrong. I really hate uncertainty and lack of control. Just hate it.

Anyway sorry for the tale of woe. Take care Augustonians.

matrac

DS, nothing to be sorry about. I hope you get some results soon.

Doing ok Ayers?

Ayers

Friday am

Hi everybody

Bonnie, thanks for looking out for me. I'm okay ...-ish ...
Has your Mom moved in with you already? And if so, how is it going?

Darkling, don't apologise for sharing your fears and troubles. My heart goes out to you having to cope with these feelings. And I admire you for sticking it out, hanging in there and fighting this fight along with your other troubles. You are a strong lady, and you are doing great !

Katy, I think waiting a while with the yoga until you are ready is a good plan. And I also wonder if asking someone you know to join you for the first couple of times, might help you to overcome that initial fear of crowds.

Bekind- good luck with your dr's appointment and meds. I am glad to hear your sister flew in for a visit. Nice to have someone to share responsibility with.

Barbs - you are very quiet. Is everything okay with you?
Alice - would be great to hear from you . Hope you are well.
Hi Bob, Zoey, Dee, DoubleD.

Have a lovely day xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Sunflower84

Morning,

Thanks for all the reassurance everyone, means a lot. I agree that it's the rollercoaster of feelings whilst healing, it must be.

Darkling I'm thinking of you struggling with the anxiety, and pray you get your results asap so you can hopefully have some peace of mind. Keep us updated.

Ayers you just suggested me taking someone along with me to yoga as someone else did the other day... This brings me to another problem I'm dealing with, I left a larger city where I was very social with all my friends around me and came here to this very small town not knowing anyone, I was in a toxic relationship at the time with an alcoholic, so my time here was drinking and when working it's always at home alone, so I never really met people here, I have one of my best friends, a girl friend here but thats all. She is pregnant and a lot going on so can't do the yoga with me. This is the thing, joining things such as yoga were important for me to start my path on becoming more social again and meeting some new local friends which I know is so important! I've never been so isolated!!!!! I only see my parents who visit, my BF and my 1 close friend locally. With the extreme drinking I just stayed home or was with people I don't associate with now, alcoholics drinking heavily and daily I gravitated towards when in a very very bad place. So it's a bit of a catch 22, I need to start classes such as yoga to meet people and thought maybe a little part time job but to do these things I need to be a bit more recovered / healed to face them. I have a long journey ahead, just hope I can start to face things soon as I really need to build my life back up.

Bekind, hope the doctors appointment goes well and you feel better soon!

Bonnie - Hows things? Is your Mum with you yet? Hope you're holding up ok!?

It's 7:18am here now, I'll go for a walk at 8:30am when it's light then I need to get some work done. I didn't get any done yesterday!!!! No results all week!!! I just sat at my laptop with the people in front of me I needed to call but couldn't bring myself to do it!!!! This really isn't good, I have to work!!!! Now more than ever!!!!! This worries me... Sorry I seem so stressed, I am trying to stay calm and positive but when I can hardly stay awake or work it's tough.

Anyway today is a new day, I still have chance, my last chance, to set up a good week for next week.

Have a good day everyone!!! Thinking of you all and so glad you're all here. Let's make sure we keep posting even when times are tough. This group is a rock, a lifeline. Big Hugs

Katy xxx

bobdrop

Hi all. Back to 4 weeks today. A week or so before New Years, I got a cold that lasted almost 3 weeks. Thought I was finished with it earlier in the week, and then the night before last, something came back at me with a vengeance. I don't know if this is a continuation into another phase or something new. Haven't been that concerned because even now, there has been no fever. But I am completely wrung out and don't feel like doing anything. Stayed home from work yesterday. Haven't decided about today yet. I've never had anything like this 4 weeks in before, so I don't think it's booze healing related. I just want it to go away. I guess the one good part is that I know booze is the last thing I need and I don't see how it would help this anyway. Sitting here at 3am because I went to bed so early. I know it probably has nothing to do with it, but this is the first year I have ever had a flu shot.

Happy Friday everyone.

Dee74

congrats Bob
Hope everyone else is doing OK too

D

Sunflower84

Hope you feel better soon Bob and congrats on 4 weeks

zoeydog

Congrats on 4 weeks, Bob! Yay! Just keep getting sleep, juice, good food and that cold will eventually move on to bother someone else.

Katy, hang in there with your new community. Making friends takes time, but it seems like you are doing the rights things … working, maybe starting some yoga when you're ready. I volunteer in my community (hunger-related events), and that's a great way to meet really nice people. It's scary to walk in the first day, but gets easier every time.

Ayers, sorry you're not feeling 100 percent. I'm wishing you a happy Friday!

Good luck with your health, Darkling. I'm sorry you are worried.

Happy Friday BeKind, Matrac, and all the other wonderful Augustonians!

Barbs

Good morning Augustonians!

Katy, thank you for sharing the love mantra. The yoga instructor sounds lovely. It seems like it will be a beautiful yoga class to join when you're ready. For now, just take it slow. Don't put too many demands on yourself. I hope your energy and focus return soon. Thinking of you

Bekind, hope the doctor can help. Sending prayers for joy to you

Bob, congrats on four weeks!!! Hope you feel better soon. Maybe time to check in with the doctor???

Bonnie, strength to you as you care for your mom. Hopefully housing will open up soon. Maybe keep following up with the facility to see where she is on the waiting list. Kind of like the squeeky wheel gets the oil mind set. It helped get my FIL placed as bit sooner.

Zoey, good to see you. You sound really good.

Ayers, no worries for me. I stopped restricting my diet so much. I've put on a few pounds but I feel soooooooo good. No anxiety or depression. Just lots of energy and clear thoughts. I feel like my old self. Back before I became obsessive over this and that. How have you been doing girl???

I see my doctor next month to start weaning off my anxiety meds. I've felt so good that I have started to cut back on them myself a little early, cut my does in half. I'll see how it goes.

Thinking of you all and hope you all have/had a beautiful day!

Dakrling,

Barbs

Hmmm...part of my post got lost...

Darkling, hoping your anxiety eases a bit for you. Never a need to apologize here. Sending prayers for peace to you

Sunflower84

Me, AGAIN! lol...

Reading and posting on here is all I'm managing at the moment...

It's now 3:15pm, done no work again. Just can't focus. Going to rest up the next few days and plan for a fresh start Monday. I'm constantly hungry, literally! Right now allI want to do is eat and sleep.

I did see a part time office job going locally, in two minds thinking, is this what I need? Is this the answer? 16 hours working in an office, meeting new people, a guaranteed little wage each week... I'd still work from home alongside it. I emailed my CV to them anyway so I shall see. On the other hand I wonder if I'll manage it, I couldn't face yoga but maybe a little part time job doing something I know and confident doing is what would build my confidence back up and turn things around. Maybe I'll give it a try.

Sorry rambling, I'm in a weird place right now, not a bad place just strange... Feel I'm reviewing everything in my life. Still struggling with the anger, my BF just rang asking about a couple of such small things and I just couldn't think straight, its like my brain will not work, every slight thing just works me up so much. I can not wait for this tired / angry spell to pass, I'm finding peace just constantly reassuring myself this is all part of my healing and at any moment it will pass. It can't come soon enough.

Probably check in again later...

Wishing you all well, back soon xxx

DarklingSong

So glad to see you all. Katy hang in there. I know it is easy from to say, but try not to put too much pressure on yourself.....a few more weeks of resting and eating may be just what you need.

Whats happening Ayers? Has something happened to make you 'okay...ish'? Hope all is alright.
Barbs so happy to hear how well you are doing, you sound great.

Matrac....hope today wasn't too arduous and you are getting through all the responsibilities that seem to be coming at you.

Bob, sorry to hear you are not feeling great. Hope health is restored soon!

Be Kind, waiting to hear from you....hope the doctors appointment went well?

Zoey, sounds like things are going well. I am really pleased for you.

Love to all the Augustonians. Missing you Alice.

matrac

Went to have my nails done today (off rom work). A young girl fell to the floor and someone said to call 911. Since I’m a nurse, I went over to see if I could help. After a few minutes and a lot of questions, I understood that it was a panic attack. I’ve seen it so many times. The EMS team arrived and took her off to the hospital and she was smiling when she left. Poor kid. I saw many scars are her arms (cutting?) and we couldn’t reach her mother. My son suffers from anxiety and I immediately thought of him.

Thanks all. Yes, my mom is with me and I find it so difficult. I am anxious and on edge. Kind of looking forward to going to work to pass the time until she can get into an apartment. I have been out buying the things she needs and storing them in the garage (she has almost nothing). I hate to be negative about her, I know she loves me, but there’s so much in the past and I’m really better off seeing her once in a while. I have come closest to drinking again with her here and I’m hitting the 6 month mark next week! It’s taking all my strength to be kind and to hold it together. I’m waiting to hear from the senior housing manager who will proces her application. Could be Feb/March....yikes!

Ayers, hope you start feeling better soon. Has this happened before? I hope that you’re able to find some comfort and that it passes quickly.

Katy, good for you for pushing forward even when you feel bad. Might not be a bad idea to work in an office....some structure might help regulate your biology? Keep at the physical exercise too on a regular basis.

Bob,lots of viruses out there this time of year. It is possible to get one after the other and viruses are often fever less. Hope you got a flu shot? If another week goes though and you dont feel well, perhaps time to call the doctor.


Hi Zoey and Barbs, glad to hear you doing OK (Minus the cold). Would be nice to hear from Alice too....hope her son made out OK and is getting what he needs too.

Check in later.
Bonnie

matrac

Feeling a little calmer this evening. I know that I would regret drinking and so I am just keeping busy...Helps to read posts here...

bobdrop

Barbs and Matrac-You were right. Went to the doc as soon as a fever started to set in. Kidney, urinary type infection.