Guener

Good advice, Badgerden, on the period around 7+ months, it's when I went awry last time. I'm more active in my recovery and in managing my thoughts than I was last go around, but I am wary. Now is not the time to be complacent, no.

This week has been good for me thus far with going back to work full swing and being productive. I am almost off my anti-anxiety medication that was causing me brain fog and haven't had many problems with controlling how I have been responding to that change. Tomorrow I have an appointment with my addiction specialist group/agency for a periodic evaluation of how I'm doing, which should be interesting.

We are getting longer days of light since December, and that is helpful for my spirits to leave for home with the sun out at the end of the day.

Willow00

Hi Badge and Guener, funny you both should mention relapse once feeling complacent. I was just looking at ideas for our trip this year and the AV was saying, ooohhh lots of cool pubs in the UK, you’ll be fine to be drinking then, can’t go to the UK and not drink... WT?? Nooooo AV that’s NOT how it’s going to be!

Stronger2017

Willow00

Hi Stronger! I think on my own I could more easily avoid thoughts of drinking, but I’m going to be travelling with others who drink. I’m going to be the only non-drinker and I know they’ll want to go to pubs. Quite a lot . I would prefer to largely avoid pubs and drinking environments. The occasional pub meal would be fine, but it’s likely going to be a daily occurrence. I managed the last holiday of 3 weeks but it was a real strain. Oh well, I’ll just have to start flexing those sober muscles and get some strength in them in preparation

Stronger2017

tootsl1

Some Great ideas there from Stronger, Willow. Planning ahead is the big thing. I don't know if you 'do' AA, but if you do, meetings are always available nearby and are great or bolstering sobriety. I know there are ex-pat Brit AA meetings in Spain so I imagine English speaking meetings are available in Europe. Otherwise, some museums and are galleries open late one night a week, there is the cinema, or just strolling round safe areas people watching. Evenings might be the best time I've to journal your days travels, your thoughts and feelings of what you have seen. Let your friends know as you plan this trip, you don't expect each night to be a drinkfest, whilst you met be in the minority, your feelings do need to be considered. Otherwise it may not be a very enjoyable trip for you.

It took me a while to adjust to sober vacations. Always holidays had been an acceptable time for drinking to excess, starting early afternoon. My first few holidays sober were tough at times. But the more happy sober times you have, the less it bothers you that you are not drinking while those around you are. I still have fun sober, I can still be the life and soul of the party or sit quietly absorbing things. But it takes strength and vigilance to begin with.

Willow00

Thanks Stronger and Toots, really good advice! Yes I’m going to plan a bunch of non-drinking things I want to see and do. And they can join me, or not, as they choose. I quite like walking and exploring so I’m sure I’ll find things to do even if they’re in the pub a fair bit
I will NOT be drinking
Just got home from the pub for dinner. I had a delicious meal and a couple of soda waters not tempted to drink in the slightest. It’s definitely getting easier to be sober now that I don’t think I’m missing out on anything

jimmyJlover

Just chiming in. I would say for me the everyday cravings are way less, its the social events with my pals where I start to feel down. Each time I'm asked to hang out I start to feel down, like I'm missing out, the odd ball, the guy who can't drink, etc... Like Stronger said I do still entertain what opportunities drinking has for me. That's a great way to put it. But overall, I am doing better than I was 79 days ago so I push forward.

As mentioned by others, I have yet to go on vacation sober. That's going to be a tough one for sure. But I enjoy lots of non drinking things for vacation so aiming to stay busy is key.

I am trying to broaden my sobriety tools. Still have yet to hit an AA meeting, not sure why I'm so nervous or whatever to go. However, sobriety in today's world has many options and most are mobile, so that helps quite a bit with a busy schedule.

Willow00

Hi JimmyJ. I haven’t been to an AA meeting either. I’m at 8 months sober, and I’m just posting daily on SR, that’s pretty much it, along with googling and reading online about alcoholism and recovery. Plus seeing a counsellor occasionally. I’m lined up to see a new one in a couple of weeks

I’ve been on holidays and managed to stay sober, but I need to remain vigilant, keep busy and re-read my withdrawal diary if I ever get tempted to have “just one”.

tootsl1

I know folk here who swear by AA, I never could bring myself to go along to a meeting. In the early days I spent hours here on different threads, getting support and bolstering my strength in recovery. Nowadays I come here usually once a day, read the few threads I follow and add something when I feel it can help. My daily visits are a constant reminder that I can never relax in my sobriety, regardless of how long I have under my belt. I can not afford to relax my vigilance because that will be the time my AV will sneak in.

Stronger2017

tootsl1

Stronger I think counsellling is great. I trained and qualified, but have never worked as one, because through my own counselling I was able to understand that the reasons I had gone into it were wrong. But I learned so much, not only techniques for stepping back from a situation, or how to confront rather than 'ostritch' but I also realised that my drinking was part 'ostrich-ing' part social anxiety and part not dealing with suppressed emotion. Learning more about myself has made it so much easier to confront my drinking, given me the strength to refuse to go back to it, and helped me deal with my anxiety issues relating to sobriety, and being sober in a socially drinking world.

I would truly recommend GOOD counselling to anyone.

badgerden

My job prohibited me from going to AA or any type of support groups physically, so SR was, is and always will be my go to support family. I have wished to have a sponsor, someone to call and talk about my addiction, thoughts, issues. I never knew where I could go that would keep my anonymity, a human voice that had "been there, done that" so here I am.

My AV popped up yesterday on my way home, pushing all the right buttons. There were two triggers that occurred at the same time so the AV jumped at the opportunity, recognizing triggers is the key to activate the sober muscles, so I rewound the tape, reliving the worst of the paranoia and health issues, drove on home safe and sober. The voice is still lurking so will be on watch and posting more I am sure.

badge

Dee74

I'm glad you powered through tho Badge

D

tootsl1

Close calls remind us to be ever vigilant Badge, well done on avoiding the shout from AV

badgerden

Vigilance and avoiding complacency is so important to me. It seems as soon as a slow down on my posting or reading the threads here that AV takes advantage. I would like to believe that at 14 months I would be beyond the reach of my addiction, never have issues again then I read a post from someone who slipped down the slide back into addiction after many years of sobriety. Scary. It is easier now, I am not obscessed with drinking, but oh how easy it would be to have "just one"!! nope,nope nope!!!

badge

Willow00

I totally hear you Badge. Every now and then (actually relatively frequently but usually just a whisper rather than like the previous shaking me by the shoulders and yelling in my ear) the AV pipes up with “just one won’t hurt ”.

Last night it was a lot louder.
Yesterday I woke up feeling depressed and had a really flat day then got a knockback on the work front, and the AV was noticeably louder and more insistent, and it wasn’t the frequent “just one”, it was “cmon, let’s get a bottle of wine and get sh##faced”. Nooooo! I reminded myself of that one bottle wouldn’t be enough, and how truly awful I’d feel tomorrow (now today). I had a decaf coffee instead (it was too late in the day for coffee). Today I’m so glad I don’t have a dreadful hangover.

tootsl1

I count that a real win Willow. Remember, you are having to overcome years of alcoholic 'programming' where our first response to anything be it a bad day, a good day, something to celebrate or something that saddens, our natural 'go to' has been alcohol.
Not only do we have to 'reprogram' our thinking, be we also have to learn to 'adult' and deal with our feelings over these situations, which we never had to in the past.

I think everyone here is doing great and working hard at making the changes necessary to find a sober lifestyle.

I can tell you, with over 5 years sobriety now, I no longer have that 'go to' feeling, I've totally reprogrammed my thinking, so the situations that in the past would have had me reaching for the bottle no longer affect me. But as Badge says, the AV still squeaks up from time to time with that ' ah go on, you could have just one' And that is what keeps me daily visiting SR.

Guener

For the past few days I have been having that feeling of general mental uneasiness all the way up to low anxiety that I know is a bad place for me. If I don't confront it, it can fester into negative thinking where my AV finds a space to speak up to a receptive listener. I can get through this, it is just uncomfortable.

badgerden

Keep posting and reading Guener. You are so right in how things fester and build up until the AV wins the "just one" battle. Maybe a hike, explore something new would help get you out of the slump?

badge