Class of August 2018 Part 5
Member
Join Date: Aug 2017
Location: Florida
Posts: 1,320
Good morning all. Day 40 here. Keeping it short this morning. Past the fever and the gout is subsiding.
I love that the subject of genetics came up. I have done a lot of genealogical research and after having my dna done at ancestry, I ended up working with 2 girls that were listed as 2nd and 3rd cousins. They are half sisters and had been put up for adoption at birth. They are trying to find out about their biological family, which apparently involves my family.
Hope everyone has a great week!
I love that the subject of genetics came up. I have done a lot of genealogical research and after having my dna done at ancestry, I ended up working with 2 girls that were listed as 2nd and 3rd cousins. They are half sisters and had been put up for adoption at birth. They are trying to find out about their biological family, which apparently involves my family.
Hope everyone has a great week!
Member
Join Date: Oct 2017
Location: England
Posts: 615
Hi all,
Sorry to announce I hugely slipped up - I started drinking last Sunday with my Sunday meal out and it carried on into a full binge. I stopped only yesterday so 8 days straight drinking day and night, the last 2 days I weaned down the best I could to avoid any dangerous withdrawals as I've had such bad ones this last year leading to seizures and being hospitalised etc etc...
So many posts to read back on and catch up on which I'll do as soon as my eyes are open enough to read properly.
Today I'm exhausted, sick and tired of going round and round in circles. I stop for a week or two then do this, half my months work is lost which leaves me in more financial difficulty. I'm getting in a big mess and the day will come very soon when the job and house are gone. I just can't seem to keep it going and stay sober.
Sorry to bring negative vibes, just really needed to get back on here and open up about whats happened.
Thinking of you all too and hope to be back reading and posting daily.
I'm just so worried I'm actually loosing faith and belief in me being able to do this but I'm still determined to keep on trying.
Much Love.
K
Sorry to announce I hugely slipped up - I started drinking last Sunday with my Sunday meal out and it carried on into a full binge. I stopped only yesterday so 8 days straight drinking day and night, the last 2 days I weaned down the best I could to avoid any dangerous withdrawals as I've had such bad ones this last year leading to seizures and being hospitalised etc etc...
So many posts to read back on and catch up on which I'll do as soon as my eyes are open enough to read properly.
Today I'm exhausted, sick and tired of going round and round in circles. I stop for a week or two then do this, half my months work is lost which leaves me in more financial difficulty. I'm getting in a big mess and the day will come very soon when the job and house are gone. I just can't seem to keep it going and stay sober.
Sorry to bring negative vibes, just really needed to get back on here and open up about whats happened.
Thinking of you all too and hope to be back reading and posting daily.
I'm just so worried I'm actually loosing faith and belief in me being able to do this but I'm still determined to keep on trying.
Much Love.
K
Administrator
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,480
Welcome back Kit 
I've seen a few posts recently about how people don;t want to bring the group down with 'negative' posts.
I think its hugely important for everyone to remember that SR is for people struggling.
Sure we'd love it if everyone got sober and stayed that way first go, but often thats not the way this thing pans out.
I tried to quit for 15 years before I quit for good.
I put a lot of effort into my drinking while trying to manage my life and relationships.
My recovery plan back in those days was basically 'don't drink' - a noble sentiment - but I gave no thought to how I might achieve and maintain this mythical not drinking...
I finally reached a point I was prepared to put all my considerable effort into doing anything wlse but drinking.
so yeah I understand drinking again and so does everyone else here.
Use this place - log in to ward off that next bender, or to get gelps before you take that next drink.
we don't turn our backs on those in trouble
D
I've seen a few posts recently about how people don;t want to bring the group down with 'negative' posts.
I think its hugely important for everyone to remember that SR is for people struggling.
Sure we'd love it if everyone got sober and stayed that way first go, but often thats not the way this thing pans out.
I tried to quit for 15 years before I quit for good.
I put a lot of effort into my drinking while trying to manage my life and relationships.
My recovery plan back in those days was basically 'don't drink' - a noble sentiment - but I gave no thought to how I might achieve and maintain this mythical not drinking...
I finally reached a point I was prepared to put all my considerable effort into doing anything wlse but drinking.
so yeah I understand drinking again and so does everyone else here.
Use this place - log in to ward off that next bender, or to get gelps before you take that next drink.
we don't turn our backs on those in trouble
D
Sober Soldier
Join Date: Nov 2014
Location: U.S.A.
Posts: 1,911
So glad you came back Tony!
So... I need a plan for weekends. Saturday got the best of me and I drank again. It was another situation where I thought it through, but simply wanted to drink. It’s the same pattern every weekend. I feel fine during the week, but once I reach the weekend and know I don’t need to be up early, I just start craving.
I know weekends are a big hurdle for a lot of people. I guess I’m one of them. Perhaps I’ll become more active on the Weekender thread and stay close to SR to really keep my mind on staying sober.
Frustrated but not beating myself up. I know where that leads, and it’s not good.
So... I need a plan for weekends. Saturday got the best of me and I drank again. It was another situation where I thought it through, but simply wanted to drink. It’s the same pattern every weekend. I feel fine during the week, but once I reach the weekend and know I don’t need to be up early, I just start craving.
I know weekends are a big hurdle for a lot of people. I guess I’m one of them. Perhaps I’ll become more active on the Weekender thread and stay close to SR to really keep my mind on staying sober.
Frustrated but not beating myself up. I know where that leads, and it’s not good.
Administrator
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,480
I really recommend making an action plan Michael - it's not just about filling up the weekend with activities or changing your routine, it's about devising strategies to call for help before its too late, and successfully battling that desire to drink.
If you want to drink and you have no strategies to fight that, you're beaten before you start.
Similarly, the time to call for help is before the urge overpowers you.
You'll be surprised at how much power you have when you successfully knock back a desire to drink
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...ery-plans.html
D
If you want to drink and you have no strategies to fight that, you're beaten before you start.
Similarly, the time to call for help is before the urge overpowers you.
You'll be surprised at how much power you have when you successfully knock back a desire to drink
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...ery-plans.html
D
Member
Join Date: Sep 2016
Location: Massachusetts
Posts: 697
Ben, you sound great. Please continue to drop in here and let us know how you're doing. Good luck!
Good to see you this morning Tony
Hi Bob, it's just amazing what family secrets come out these days with DNA
Kit and Mike, so sorry that you're both struggling. Glad you came back.
I'm feeling a bit tired this morning. I went to spin class at 6am and I have a busy day at work. Hubby is visiting his brother this afternoon a few hours away. I don't expect him to be home until late. I guess I will spend my night playing with puppies
Please stay close to SR is you're struggling. Strength and love to all!
Good to see you this morning Tony
Hi Bob, it's just amazing what family secrets come out these days with DNA
Kit and Mike, so sorry that you're both struggling. Glad you came back.
I'm feeling a bit tired this morning. I went to spin class at 6am and I have a busy day at work. Hubby is visiting his brother this afternoon a few hours away. I don't expect him to be home until late. I guess I will spend my night playing with puppies
Please stay close to SR is you're struggling. Strength and love to all!
Member
Join Date: Jul 2018
Location: New England, USA
Posts: 194
Good morning!
Red, so glad you got through that hard day. I love your tally of Nicola 1 AV 0. The fact that you are on 31 (32) days means the AV has a much worse track record than that. Great job. I also find it interesting how people respond to not drinking. Amusingly, I find that the people I expect to react poorly, don't and vice versa. It is odd
Zoey, glad your tough day is in the rearview. Your dinner with friends sounds lovely and such an amazing reminder. It seems like drinking is a distraction the more you go through those moments. Not even the being drunk, but the thinking about it. Sounds like you had a nice weekend, plus four weeks/coming on a calendar month!
Barbs, still grinning about your reception. Like Zoey, the echoing of really connecting with people is resonating with me. I can just hear the calmness and joy of a parent sending off her son and the beginning of this new life through your description of the event you were so present for.
David, I love that father/son bonding. Aside from spending more time with kids and being like Bonnie said, I find that it is the extra oomph. I always did things with my kids, but I am a lot more patient and am going the extra mile in a way that is different.
Bob, sorry you had to quit atkins and weren't feeling well, but it seems like you broke the back of that sugar addiction which is huge. I did a similar thing years ago and was amazed how quickly I wasn't craving it and how wonderful things like grapes tasted once I wasn't eating so many carbs and sweets. Well done. Alice, I am also going to look at that primal site for my husband. I am intrigued.
Bekind, the image of you hiding your NOT drinking cracked me up. I wonder sometimes how much of that when I do it is for me and how much is for others, but mainly just super tired of thinking about it and don't want to draw attention. That said, I still think it will be easier once it is just a me thing and people don't ask.
Ayers, thank you for checking on all of us and wanting everyone to be safe. I am still so glad you got through the weekend. I cannot believe it has been that long for you...well done! It feels like yesterday you burst onto the board with your cheerful, can-do attitude.
Itsbeentoo long, glad you are back. Your description of the let down is everything to me. I can't hear enough how not satisfying it is. Before I quit I used to remind myself it was 1/2 hour of nice and then tops a few hours and then hours and days and weeks of regret. Thank you for sharing. It sounds like you are seeing it so clearly.
Mike, good luck tackling the weekends. If you saw it coming in advance, did you try to stop it or was it instant resignation. I say this with all compassion as I know that feeling. I have a feeling you are going to tackle next weekend like a beast.
Ben, I understand you needing to go to September. I would appreciate you popping in, but at least I know where to find you if we are wondering how you are. Thanks for letting us know. I so know you have this...I can tell.
Kit, you too....sorry you struggled, but glad to see you back.
Odaat, I am still amazed at your sense of humor. Thank you for your kind words as well, they help me stay focused here. As far as DNA, nope....can't say I have that interesting of a story. However, I did spend time with extended family this summer and it was interesting to compare family lore to reality. Big differences! So are you going to try to meet them? How did your mom react?
Tony, QuitNow and others I don't have time to keep going, hope you are well. I hope Karen is somewhere out there if anyone sees her posting.
I have a busy week. Already trying to visualize non-alcoholic rewards or releases for the end of it.
I will check in more later if I can!
Red, so glad you got through that hard day. I love your tally of Nicola 1 AV 0. The fact that you are on 31 (32) days means the AV has a much worse track record than that. Great job. I also find it interesting how people respond to not drinking. Amusingly, I find that the people I expect to react poorly, don't and vice versa. It is odd
Zoey, glad your tough day is in the rearview. Your dinner with friends sounds lovely and such an amazing reminder. It seems like drinking is a distraction the more you go through those moments. Not even the being drunk, but the thinking about it. Sounds like you had a nice weekend, plus four weeks/coming on a calendar month!
Barbs, still grinning about your reception. Like Zoey, the echoing of really connecting with people is resonating with me. I can just hear the calmness and joy of a parent sending off her son and the beginning of this new life through your description of the event you were so present for.
David, I love that father/son bonding. Aside from spending more time with kids and being like Bonnie said, I find that it is the extra oomph. I always did things with my kids, but I am a lot more patient and am going the extra mile in a way that is different.
Bob, sorry you had to quit atkins and weren't feeling well, but it seems like you broke the back of that sugar addiction which is huge. I did a similar thing years ago and was amazed how quickly I wasn't craving it and how wonderful things like grapes tasted once I wasn't eating so many carbs and sweets. Well done. Alice, I am also going to look at that primal site for my husband. I am intrigued.
Bekind, the image of you hiding your NOT drinking cracked me up. I wonder sometimes how much of that when I do it is for me and how much is for others, but mainly just super tired of thinking about it and don't want to draw attention. That said, I still think it will be easier once it is just a me thing and people don't ask.
Ayers, thank you for checking on all of us and wanting everyone to be safe. I am still so glad you got through the weekend. I cannot believe it has been that long for you...well done! It feels like yesterday you burst onto the board with your cheerful, can-do attitude.
Itsbeentoo long, glad you are back. Your description of the let down is everything to me. I can't hear enough how not satisfying it is. Before I quit I used to remind myself it was 1/2 hour of nice and then tops a few hours and then hours and days and weeks of regret. Thank you for sharing. It sounds like you are seeing it so clearly.
Mike, good luck tackling the weekends. If you saw it coming in advance, did you try to stop it or was it instant resignation. I say this with all compassion as I know that feeling. I have a feeling you are going to tackle next weekend like a beast.
Ben, I understand you needing to go to September. I would appreciate you popping in, but at least I know where to find you if we are wondering how you are. Thanks for letting us know. I so know you have this...I can tell.
Kit, you too....sorry you struggled, but glad to see you back.
Odaat, I am still amazed at your sense of humor. Thank you for your kind words as well, they help me stay focused here. As far as DNA, nope....can't say I have that interesting of a story. However, I did spend time with extended family this summer and it was interesting to compare family lore to reality. Big differences! So are you going to try to meet them? How did your mom react?
Tony, QuitNow and others I don't have time to keep going, hope you are well. I hope Karen is somewhere out there if anyone sees her posting.
I have a busy week. Already trying to visualize non-alcoholic rewards or releases for the end of it.
I will check in more later if I can!
Member
Join Date: Mar 2017
Location: UK
Posts: 1,543
I don’t understand why people are moving groups? Obviously I can read (I saw Ben’s rationale) but why is Alice suddenly moving out of the blue?
As if I didn’t feel downhearted enough.
Oh well. It’s not all about you is it now Tony?
As if I didn’t feel downhearted enough.
Oh well. It’s not all about you is it now Tony?
Sober Soldier
Join Date: Nov 2014
Location: U.S.A.
Posts: 1,911
Thanks Dee I read through the 101 hints and the one about a zero tolerance policy for drinking thoughts struck me. I need to just not allow my mind to even go there.
Suze it wasn’t necessarily something I saw coming in advance, but it wasn’t really an impulse either. I was home by myself and just wanted to drink. I thought about it for a while before doing it, which I’m beginning to think is actually working against me. I am engaging the thoughts of drinking rather than just letting them fall silent. I think that’s why the idea of a zero tolerance policy struck me so hard, I am giving my AV a platform to make its case when I should not even allow it to get a single word in. I am committing right now to tackling next weekend like a beast!
This week I am going to rethink my recovery plan, and I’m implementing the first step right now: no more entertaining thoughts of drinking. I am going to recognize them for what they are and shut them down.
Suze it wasn’t necessarily something I saw coming in advance, but it wasn’t really an impulse either. I was home by myself and just wanted to drink. I thought about it for a while before doing it, which I’m beginning to think is actually working against me. I am engaging the thoughts of drinking rather than just letting them fall silent. I think that’s why the idea of a zero tolerance policy struck me so hard, I am giving my AV a platform to make its case when I should not even allow it to get a single word in. I am committing right now to tackling next weekend like a beast!
This week I am going to rethink my recovery plan, and I’m implementing the first step right now: no more entertaining thoughts of drinking. I am going to recognize them for what they are and shut them down.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2018
Posts: 2,279
Hi tony. Don’t be down hearted, I’m just trying to get a full set 😉 .....
Actually, I’m really not. I’m really really not. Please may September be my final home.
I just realised my moods were up and down and I was withdrawing. Not much in common with the 50/60 dayers apart from our shared history and desire to see each other succeed. I find myself buoyed on by people going through the same shizzle.
When I get to 11 months with you and suze is on 12 months, there won’t be much difference and we can discuss common concerns but I feel the difference between week one and week 8 is vast.
I’ll flip between, I am really concerned to see how we all progress and when we all get to one year i think I’ll cry ❤️
How you doing today JT?
Actually, I’m really not. I’m really really not. Please may September be my final home.
I just realised my moods were up and down and I was withdrawing. Not much in common with the 50/60 dayers apart from our shared history and desire to see each other succeed. I find myself buoyed on by people going through the same shizzle.
When I get to 11 months with you and suze is on 12 months, there won’t be much difference and we can discuss common concerns but I feel the difference between week one and week 8 is vast.
I’ll flip between, I am really concerned to see how we all progress and when we all get to one year i think I’ll cry ❤️
How you doing today JT?
Member
Join Date: Aug 2018
Posts: 1,291
Hi guys
Thank you for looking out for me. Sorry for not posting . Had a very introspective , down day.
Not feeling very verbose - but not to worry - I'm okay.
Ben and Alice, I'm really sad to see you leaving . Very sad. Wish I could convince you to stay , I'll try tomorrow ...
Mike and Kit - sorry guys - I feel for you - just glad you came right back. I have a lot of respect for that , it cannot be easy.
JT - I checked in this morning to see if you had posted - and I felt happy to see that you had . How are you doing ? (Don't have to answer if you don't feel like it ) I feel that way now.
Will try tomorrow - sure I'll feel better then.
Luv u all . Nighttime here. Goodnight and sleep well. xx
Thank you for looking out for me. Sorry for not posting . Had a very introspective , down day.
Not feeling very verbose - but not to worry - I'm okay.
Ben and Alice, I'm really sad to see you leaving . Very sad. Wish I could convince you to stay , I'll try tomorrow ...
Mike and Kit - sorry guys - I feel for you - just glad you came right back. I have a lot of respect for that , it cannot be easy.
JT - I checked in this morning to see if you had posted - and I felt happy to see that you had . How are you doing ? (Don't have to answer if you don't feel like it ) I feel that way now.
Will try tomorrow - sure I'll feel better then.
Luv u all . Nighttime here. Goodnight and sleep well. xx
Member
Join Date: Mar 2017
Location: UK
Posts: 1,543
Originally Posted by Ayers 
JT - How are you doing ? (Don't have to answer if you don't feel like it ) I feel that way now.
It’s not just about drinking or not drinking for me. It’s more than that.
Who am I? What makes me happy? How can I live a useful and fulfilling existence? Does SR help me? How can I use this support group more effectively?
People leaving this group is also wounding. I get why Ben has left but Alice was a bit of a shock. What’s all that about?
I dunno.
You asked.
I’m not happy and I’m very unsure of what to do or where to go next. I’m pretty sure I’ll never join another class again on here so this is my last group.
JT
Member
Join Date: Sep 2016
Location: Massachusetts
Posts: 697
I'm sorry your so down Tony. This is a journey. It has ups and downs and highs and lows. I see this class as a life line. For me and for others to reach out for help when need and to offer help when able. We don't have all the answers but we can offer understanding, love and caring support.
I find sometimes we can over think things which can make it more difficult. Maybe try resting in the knowledge that this is it and take a break from analyzing.
This is my last class too. I intend to make the most of it. Please hang in there.
I find sometimes we can over think things which can make it more difficult. Maybe try resting in the knowledge that this is it and take a break from analyzing.
This is my last class too. I intend to make the most of it. Please hang in there.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2017
Posts: 1,246
I understand the reasons for moving on to another group but I cannot do it.....
The kind of support and sense of connection that I have felt with each of you cannot be replicated. I don't want to keep making and breaking relationships (online or not) because I drank. That would make the cycle of addiction infinitely worse for me.
Obviously, I hope everyone here will do whats best for them.....I just find the idea of it sad.
So, sorry to see you go Ben and Alice. I wish you both all the best in your recovery.
The kind of support and sense of connection that I have felt with each of you cannot be replicated. I don't want to keep making and breaking relationships (online or not) because I drank. That would make the cycle of addiction infinitely worse for me.
Obviously, I hope everyone here will do whats best for them.....I just find the idea of it sad.
So, sorry to see you go Ben and Alice. I wish you both all the best in your recovery.
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