Class of August 2018 Part 5
 

last part here:

https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums...rt-4-a-20.html

D

New thread! Thanks, Dee.

Remember when we were worried about people not making the jump at the start of the month?

Anyhow, I lost my post. I’ve lost two since traveling and I don’t have time to redo, but I’ve tried!

I’m still carrying the torch. Wish I could say it was easy, but I can say it’s behind me. Tonight is the private dinner/tribute with an hour long cocktail. 10 of us so blah. I’ll check in later.

Morning torch bearers --

I like your idea - Tony -- of foraging for truth. I'm doing that, I think: foraging for truth, meaning, satisfying ways to be in the world without drinking.

The discussion about drinking to enhance the good times in life resonates. I wonder if alcoholics tend to suffer from increased emotions? Maybe we feel too much? I think I've felt that way in the past. Whether in dealing with a dark or a bright time, I've often felt the urge to mediate the reality of it with a drink. It's challenging to learn to move through those feelings unmediated.

One thing that's been helpful to me is finding something absorbing and rewarding to do during the times I'd usually be drinking. When I quit smoking long, long ago, I turned to beading to keep my hands and mind busy. Learning peote stich was something that required concentration but also provided an immediate reward as I watched the patterns unfold. More recently, I've been painting. I have no particular talent, but just as they have adult coloring books these days, now they have adult paint by number kits. Some of them are quite beautiful. I like seeing the results of time spent as opposed to the time I've wasted on drinking.

Suze – so good to hear from you. Pity about the lost posts- would have loved to read them. Stay strong , friend, you can do this !!!

Matrac – Wow on 57 days !!! You have reason to be very proud of yourself , well done !

StartingOver- good luck with your tech problems – can be verrrry frustrating, I know . I just call my son whenever I have such a glitch – the youngsters seem to be born these days with the needed knowledge . Congrats on day 25 !!!!

Alice – I also have to keep my hand busy – always . I also love beading and painting – seems I’m in good company here.
Cat, I would like to second you in a call-out for the MIA’s in our flock. You people are missed and we would love to hear from you.

Thanks Zoey, I will keep an eye (rather , ear) out for the podcast. Well done on 22 days !! As far as reaching out for more help – my dilemma is that AA is out of the question for me, but may be a solution for you? I must admit that this group is providing me with so much (more than I ever thought would be the case ) , not only advice and consideration and support, but also some really intelligent conversations about interesting topics -

The “more help” that I think I need, and maybe many of us need , is more a self-awakening/awareness/mindfulness thing. I honestly think I should join a Yoga group and start some meditating and more exercise. And start answering some tough questions from myself , or at least start delving for the answers.

Evening has settled in and I’m off to cook for the hungry men in my life.

peace and blessings to you all.

Good to hear from so many of you. Some great analogies and observations made to think deeply about.

I’m a bit worried about Red. She has normally posted by now and I checked to see that she logged in about 9 hours ago without posting...

I’m not sure if it’s a little too intrusive to mentally keep track of people or not? I don’t do it deliberately but you get to know a posters modus operandi after a while....

Anyway Red - I hope you check in?

On that note I would love to hear from Karen, CanGuy, Sweetichick and RAL (I know she joined September Class but would still like her to make guest appearances). So many more are MIA since we started all those weeks ago too. I hope they’re still fighting the good fight wherever they may be?

JT

ODAATCAT, I hope you get the tests over with soon. Thinking of you.

Glad you are getting through the challenges Suze.

Thinking of all the Augustonians and hoping everyone is doing ok.

Day 23 for me. Hoping to post an update tonight when I can get on my laptop....alone!

Stay strong, Suze! Enjoy the moment sober and think about waking up tomorrow well rested and feeling healthy.

Good afternoon everyone. Today is the opposite of yesterday for me. Slower day at work. My sleep as been all over the place again. Got like 3 1/2 hours last night. I just woke up from a really long nap and still feel tired. Luckily, my job schedule is such that I get a lot of breaks so I never really feel like I’m overworking myself.

I am a personal fitness trainer, and the good part about my job is that it is client-based, and I run my own schedule. So although I get a marathon day here and there (like yesterday), those are balanced out by slower days where I basically have the day off. For example, tomorrow I have a 6 AM appt then have the next 10 hours of the day free to myself. It’s a pretty neat schedule, and comes in handy when I feel like I need some breathing room, like today.

BTW Tony sorry my role model comment almost triggered you! But I will say this, a role model isn’t a shining specimen of flawless perfection, but merely someone who exemplifies what it looks like to consistently pursue a better version oneself, day after day, through even the smallest of actions. You, in my opinion, fit that bill. Your admittance of being terrified of relapse is something that actually inspires me to be better and more vigilant in my own recovery. I tend to get complacent, allowing myself to become oblivious to the real and ever-present danger of the onset of a sudden and overpowering desire to drink. A reminder that relapse is always one sip away is something I need to keep reminding myself on a regular basis.

I need to get ready to go meet a couple of evening clients. I’ll be back on later tonight. Hope everyone is doing okay today.

P.S. to those who who lost long posts... Whenever I type a post that is more than a short paragraph, I always copy the whole post before clicking “Post” so that if I do get logged out, I won’t lose my post all I have to do is log back in and hit “paste” and it’s back!

Goodnight Augustonians.

You’re the last people I think of as every day closes and the first people I ‘talk’ to every morning.

Passing the torch.

JT

Some really great posts today.

Suze, so good to hear from you. Stay strong!

Odaacat, I'm so sorry you have to wait for the MRI. Please know that you are in my prayers.

Itsbeen, so sorry you slipped but glad you came right back.

Congrats to everyone on there days :)

I'm heading to Atlanta this weekend for my son's third and finally the final wedding reception, lol. I drank at the first two and I'm not worried I might slip. I can hear myself already giving myself permission. But I'm not going to. I will stay strong and focus on all the wonderful people I will be meeting and the great conversations to be had.

I hope everyone has a great sober night.

Good evening all, I'm hanging out with my tonic and lime. Had a long day of volunteering at the local thrift/charity shop. We have an incredible business so it is always busy. I usually enjoy it and it brings me into contact with my community which I like.

I would like to think not drinking is forever for me but I do notice on some evenings (this evening in particular) that I do long for a glass of wine to end the day. Yeah I can do a glass of wine and no more but with time it tends to become more and I know I will just get worse. I've heard that your sobriety is only as good as your plan. I'm not sure that I have a very good plan for the future . . . not trying to be a downer, Im just finding I'm wondering what this looks like in a few years. Might be time for me to do some reading.

On that note: Barb do you have a plan for the reception? If so, please share, I'd love some ideas.

Mike, as a personal trainer, has stopping drinking helped with your work and fitness?

Quitnow congrats on day 23. I remember how tough your first few days were.

Hope you all are well. I will probably check in one more time before bed.

Thank you
 

I truly appreciate your gracious invitation back and your responses to my slip. With so many transitions to 1-2 month mark, I’m very curious about what that next step is for you all to maintain vigilance.
I hope you all have a wonderful night/day. I need to turn in and catch up on some sleep.

I'm here.. Wondering why no one was posting, didn't see the new thread lol
Day 27..

Bekind not drinking definitely makes a difference. In terms of work, it actually didn’t interfere too much. Getting up in the morning sucked, and I didn’t feel as energetic throughout the day. But it never had a major impact on my ability to do my job well. In terms of my own fitness and workouts it was a bit more of an issue. I would miss workouts regularly and not be consistent at all. I just didn’t have the energy or motivation. Now I am feeling back to my old self, in that I am no longer missing workouts. I get my workout in no matter what, even if I have to do it at 9 PM knowing I have to be up at 4 AM. That’s how I used to be, before all the drinking nonsense began. It feels good to be getting back in tune with that part of myself.

Okay, I like this reason for not posting. Red, I'm glad you were lost on the website not back to the joy juice.

Itsbeentoolong, I keep wondering about that too but I really think we keep going as we have been. Anyone has slipped may have done so because they hit some hurdle the rest of us haven't . . .although we all probably have different triggers. I don't feel I've hit any triggers yet and am not convinced that I will fare all that well.

I need a plan . . .it will include all of you!!

Mike, does working out help with your chronic health issues?

I'm a depressive and exercise helps so much and I struggle to do it.

Itsbeentoolong, I’m sorry you slipped, but well done getting right back to sober living. You are one of us…please stay with us and keep posting.

Oddatcat, I’m so sorry you have to wait longer for testing and results. I’m sure it is very nerve wrecking and emotional, but please know we are here for you. I wish I could reach through cyber space and give you a big hug. I will remember to pray for you….for peace and patience.

Mike, Lucky man! Sounds like you have a great job. I'm so glad you're feeling like your old self. I am, too. :)

JT, Thanks for posting morning and night. You are appreciated, Lovely (couldn't resist....what will your next candle say?) :)

I’m sorry I haven’t been posting much. I do check in daily, but like I said in another post, life is a whirl wind right now! I am doing well though and enjoying sobriety. Today is 23 days for me. I like to count days early on. It gives me a sense of accomplishment. Plus, when I know number of days, it allows me to keep track of the money I’ve saved, and spend it on something fun for myself or a family member.
I am feeling quite healthy…running is feeling really good lately. Also, I’m back to healthier eating so I can hopefully lose the pounds I gained while drinking. Already lost 6 lbs. in 3 weeks.
The AV whispers lies every now and then, but I refuse to entertain the thoughts. I no longer drink and I am determined to kill off the addiction.
Sobriety is a gift. I’ve been reflecting on this the past few days. Really trying to retrain my brain to rethink this way. As we post on here, most of us are; loving the mornings, feeling so much healthier while taking care of our bodies, better friends or family members, better employees/employers, moods are stabilizing, and we are motivated to do the things we are supposed to do.
We have a gift. Alcohol rips this gift from us with the first sip of booze. I’ve slipped so many times. My thought was always that the wine would provide some sort of relief or escape. It always bit me in the end. I’m tired of being stung by the poison. I realize I’m only at around 3 weeks, so I’m not trying to be overly confident in my sobriety. I realize the AV lurks in the strangest places. But tonight, I’m feeling really thankful to be a non-drinker.

Love to all and a good night!

Good Morning,

I don’t have time for a long post as I have a series of very intense meetings at work today. Funnily enough when the AV has whispered to me lately I have quickly seen it off by saying “Wednesday is the day from hell - I simply cannot drink before then or I will cost the business everything”. Whilst this is true, from an ‘importance of meetings vs how critical it is to my job’ point of view, I also recognise that it is not a long term plan and also that it will facilitate a MASSIVE trigger for me when it is all over later today....

I am on my guard....

Bekind - part of my plan - short term, medium term and long term - is exercise. I cannot stay sober without it. Exercise for me is the cornerstone of my recovery. It is the ying to alcohols yang. One nourishes, grows, thrills and improves me - the other withers and destroys me. One is my “shining light” and the other is my “devil”. I work on a three day spilt. Upper body (weights), lower body (weights) and then cardio. I need to fit in a lot more core workouts as well now.

I made a list of other things I must restart in my life or try for the first time too. Again - I have to stay busy with things I love or have always wanted to try. “Not drinking” as a way of life is just white knuckling something you would really like to do. I’m trying to fall out of love with my poisoning lover of 15+ years as I make that break that I have promised myself for good.

All this forms part of my ‘plan’. Running towards things I love to do and not just running away from something I have grown to hate.

Like a lot of ex lovers (booze) I still romantasise about ‘her’ on occasion. I still have a certain lust for her. But I love being seperated from her much, much more and I know that I cannot have my last years on earth happy unless I embrace a FULL life of other things without her.

I’m not sure if any of this will work or not. But I’m trying and currently feel very happy 90% of the time (which isn’t a bad ratio I suppose?)

Hope that helps?

JT

Cross posted with QuitNow.

My goodness how much we all think alike in this class!

Honestly - this class is special. I loved people in my Dec 2017 and April 2018 class but I’ve never been in such a wide group of posters that share so much in common as this one.

It gives me that extra strength that I need when I’m low.

JT