24 Hour Recovery Connections Part 401
Member
Join Date: Apr 2018
Posts: 96
Here's to 24 more.
I am sorry to hear so many struggling. I love the "just wait" or "do nothing" advice. It can be a friggin challenge to take that step back, let it be for a while, and observe/process what is happening externally and internally. I wish i was better at that.
I am sorry to hear so many struggling. I love the "just wait" or "do nothing" advice. It can be a friggin challenge to take that step back, let it be for a while, and observe/process what is happening externally and internally. I wish i was better at that.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2018
Posts: 1,137
24 for me too please!
I am so frustrated and angry today, I don't even know why. I have all this energy and I can't even walk or run or do any proper work out because of my leg. And wrist. My leg is much better but now my wrist is getting worse and I can barely use my right hand. I'm so annoyed.
Oh and I didn't get a doctors appointment until wednesday so I will have those lovely crutches for another 6 days, yay.
I am so frustrated and angry today, I don't even know why. I have all this energy and I can't even walk or run or do any proper work out because of my leg. And wrist. My leg is much better but now my wrist is getting worse and I can barely use my right hand. I'm so annoyed.
Oh and I didn't get a doctors appointment until wednesday so I will have those lovely crutches for another 6 days, yay.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: German Village, Columbus with my love ♥
Posts: 88,521
I'm so sorry kev. 
Do you have a gel medipak that you can heat up to help your hand?
And if it was me, I would call the doctor's office back and ask to be considered if there is a cancellation before Wednesday.
And more hugs. ♥♥
Do you have a gel medipak that you can heat up to help your hand?
And if it was me, I would call the doctor's office back and ask to be considered if there is a cancellation before Wednesday.
And more hugs. ♥♥
Member
Join Date: Jul 2018
Posts: 1,137
Originally Posted by venuscat 
I'm so sorry kev.
Do you have a gel medipak that you can heat up to help your hand?
And if it was me, I would call the doctor's office back and ask to be considered if there is a cancellation before Wednesday.
And more hugs. ♥♥
Do you have a gel medipak that you can heat up to help your hand?
And if it was me, I would call the doctor's office back and ask to be considered if there is a cancellation before Wednesday.
And more hugs. ♥♥
you're always so caring, you wonderful being!I don't know if heat or cold would help my hand cause I still don't know what causes the pain. It could be that it also broke when I broke my thigh. But it'll take me a few more weeks before I will find out because of bureaucracy.
No earlier appointments either
Not much I can do other than wait and try to stay somewhat sane. (And rant a little on here)
Member
Join Date: Jan 2016
Posts: 4,217
Originally Posted by Snufkin
Uh huh. For some reason I am feeling very triggered today and my sick brain is thinking of every single trick to get me to drink...
Do I realllly have a problem? Am I not just overreacting? Can I drink today, and start again tomorrow? Do I really have to give up for good? etc etc
Yawn
Damned days off... I need a distraction!!
24 more for me, please.
Do I realllly have a problem? Am I not just overreacting? Can I drink today, and start again tomorrow? Do I really have to give up for good? etc etc
Yawn
Damned days off... I need a distraction!!
24 more for me, please.
Keep checking in. We are here for you. The drink is not- the drink makes everything worse just like binge eating ruins everything good in my life.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2016
Posts: 4,217
Originally Posted by kevlarsjal2
24 for me too please!
I am so frustrated and angry today, I don't even know why. I have all this energy and I can't even walk or run or do any proper work out because of my leg. And wrist. My leg is much better but now my wrist is getting worse and I can barely use my right hand. I'm so annoyed.
Oh and I didn't get a doctors appointment until wednesday so I will have those lovely crutches for another 6 days, yay.
I am so frustrated and angry today, I don't even know why. I have all this energy and I can't even walk or run or do any proper work out because of my leg. And wrist. My leg is much better but now my wrist is getting worse and I can barely use my right hand. I'm so annoyed.
Oh and I didn't get a doctors appointment until wednesday so I will have those lovely crutches for another 6 days, yay.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2016
Posts: 4,217
Originally Posted by county111111
Here's to 24 more.
I am sorry to hear so many struggling. I love the "just wait" or "do nothing" advice. It can be a friggin challenge to take that step back, let it be for a while, and observe/process what is happening externally and internally. I wish i was better at that.
I am sorry to hear so many struggling. I love the "just wait" or "do nothing" advice. It can be a friggin challenge to take that step back, let it be for a while, and observe/process what is happening externally and internally. I wish i was better at that.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2016
Posts: 4,217
Originally Posted by tomls
Sunflower I think I can speak for the rest of the SR family, we all love you very much! Please stay close and remember that this will pass. I hope your day gets better!
I am almost done with the master bath- deep cleaned the crap out of it, steamer and all. Going to sage the house afterwards to try to clear out the negative energy and tension. I don't know what the future holds for my marriage but I'm not giving up just yet. Still, I am hoping having some extra space will help make things more clear.
Love you guys too- thank you for always being there for me, especially on days like these. I hope I can do the same for all of you...
Member
Join Date: Feb 2014
Location: East Coast USA
Posts: 120,880
Originally Posted by Plenny
I guess this is the wrong place maybe I should have just put that post elsewhere. Feeling really unbalanced right now and disoriented
Relationships are complex and good communication can be so vital to a healthy and satisfying one. Maybe find a self-help book on relationship communication skills for both of you to read.
More hugs.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2014
Location: East Coast USA
Posts: 120,880
Originally Posted by joandmelandhan
Oh guys things here are not great at all. I'm fighting my own internal ball of anxiety every day which is manageable to a degree but now my eldest daughter has started with panic attacks and anxiety totally out of the blue.
Poor thing I can see it in her face and it's heart breaking to see. We are on holiday too which is just bloody awkward and I just want to take her home. It's 8pm now and she and I are back in our room and I've set her up with a mindful meditation to try.
Honestly? This is just awful. I can absolutely see what she is going through but until we get home and in our own little bubble again I'm struggling to help her. Even worse still I'm not exactly calm myself but of course I'm putting a lid on that and faking it for her.
I might even resort to some of that praying tonight.
I need 24 please and just a little break in the panic anxiety cycle for Hannah ❤❤❤
Poor thing I can see it in her face and it's heart breaking to see. We are on holiday too which is just bloody awkward and I just want to take her home. It's 8pm now and she and I are back in our room and I've set her up with a mindful meditation to try.
Honestly? This is just awful. I can absolutely see what she is going through but until we get home and in our own little bubble again I'm struggling to help her. Even worse still I'm not exactly calm myself but of course I'm putting a lid on that and faking it for her.
I might even resort to some of that praying tonight.
I need 24 please and just a little break in the panic anxiety cycle for Hannah ❤❤❤
Sending love to you, too, dear SFL.❤️
Member
Join Date: Jan 2016
Posts: 4,217
Originally Posted by PaigeMasters
Thank you Dee and Sunflowerlife for the kind words! I survived driving the big truck- put on my big girl pants on and handled it. It was kinda fun surprisingly. We are buried in boxes and can’t find anything but that’s just fine. So happy to be in our new home away from the drinking memories. Even my cats are acclimating well. I am shocked!
Enjoy the fun part of unpacking and organizing
Member
Join Date: Feb 2014
Location: East Coast USA
Posts: 120,880
Originally Posted by venuscat
♥ This is a list of everyone who posted their commitment to stay sober in the last
24 hours: 8 pm EDT ~ 7.59 pm EDT.
It is awesome to have every single one of you here with us! ♥
1newcreation
abcowboy
Alysheba
ananda
Atlast9999
aussieblue
Awake61
Babs1234
badgerden
bandicoot2
BarbieKen
Ben123
BrandNewDay11
Bubovski
Canadian Koala
CeeFarro
ChloeRose63
Coldfusion
county111111
CrossYourHeart
Daisybelle
Dee74
Delilah1
Endoftheday
erfra7
Finalcall
Free2bme888
FormerBeerLover
Gabe1980
gatorman
Gilmer
Goat
goodbyeevan
goose333
Hats
Hevyn
heyfly
Jack16
joandmelandhan
jsm273
julietUK
Kaneda8888
kenton
kevlarsjal2
Kris47
Lascaux
least
lilymaz
Lostmyoffswitch
lyddie
Mags1
Minion09
Marcutah1
Neoo
Nic233
nmd
PaigeMasters
PeaceB4
PhoenixJ
Pinky1
Plenny
Quincy
quitter62
Rainman1
Rar
RedBerryJuniper
Saskia
ShenzyT
Snufkin
soberista
SoberLeigh
stargazer016
Sunflower79
Sunflowerlife
Sweetpeacan
tgirl
TheToddman
theVman31
time2LLL60
Tinker B
tomls
vanaprastha
vassvik
venuscat
Vinificent
WaterOx
WeaverBird
Whendovescry
Willow68
wiscsober
YCDT2
Yixi
yukonm
Zanna
zeppodog
zoeydog
Onward together! ♥
24 hours: 8 pm EDT ~ 7.59 pm EDT.
It is awesome to have every single one of you here with us!
♥1newcreation
abcowboy
Alysheba
ananda
Atlast9999
aussieblue
Awake61
Babs1234
badgerden
bandicoot2
BarbieKen
Ben123
BrandNewDay11
Bubovski
Canadian Koala
CeeFarro
ChloeRose63
Coldfusion
county111111
CrossYourHeart
Daisybelle
Dee74
Delilah1
Endoftheday
erfra7
Finalcall
Free2bme888
FormerBeerLover
Gabe1980
gatorman
Gilmer
Goat
goodbyeevan
goose333
Hats
Hevyn
heyfly
Jack16
joandmelandhan
jsm273
julietUK
Kaneda8888
kenton
kevlarsjal2
Kris47
Lascaux
least
lilymaz
Lostmyoffswitch
lyddie
Mags1
Minion09
Marcutah1
Neoo
Nic233
nmd
PaigeMasters
PeaceB4
PhoenixJ
Pinky1
Plenny
Quincy
quitter62
Rainman1
Rar
RedBerryJuniper
Saskia
ShenzyT
Snufkin
soberista
SoberLeigh
stargazer016
Sunflower79
Sunflowerlife
Sweetpeacan
tgirl
TheToddman
theVman31
time2LLL60
Tinker B
tomls
vanaprastha
vassvik
venuscat
Vinificent
WaterOx
WeaverBird
Whendovescry
Willow68
wiscsober
YCDT2
Yixi
yukonm
Zanna
zeppodog
zoeydog
Onward together! ♥
August 2, 2018
theVman31 ~ 5 months! ♥
zeppodog ~ 5 months! ♥
Canadian Koala ~ 1 year & 8 months! ♥
kenton ~ 1 year & 9 months! ♥
vanaprastha ~ 3 years!!! ♥
theVman31 ~ 5 months! ♥
zeppodog ~ 5 months! ♥
Canadian Koala ~ 1 year & 8 months! ♥
kenton ~ 1 year & 9 months! ♥
vanaprastha ~ 3 years!!! ♥
Member
Join Date: Jan 2016
Posts: 4,217
Originally Posted by Plenny
Hi everyone. Feeling super depressed today. Woke up at my SO's house, it's my day off so I was cozy and thought I'd sleep in. Actually I've been feeling depressed and exhausted lately on the whole so I have been sleeping a lot. DJTM (my SO) woke up early and got up to get ready for work. I heard him get dressed, go to the kitchen to make coffee... I was still curled up half asleep, and I intended to go back to full sleep after he left. But then he came back in the bedroom and turned on the TV at a normal (loud to a snoozing person) volume so he could watch the news and drink coffee.
Now, he has done this many times in the past and we have argued about it before. To me, it is inconsiderate and rude, and shows that he doesn't care that I am still asleep. He usually replies something like "It's time to get up anyway" or gets snarky with me or dismisses me or laughs me off. All of these things make me really mad. And the fact that we have talked about it before and he clearly doesn't care shows me he doesn't care how I feel. So I sat up in the bed and said "Why are you doing that? You said you would stop blaring the TV early in the morning when I'm asleep!" He reacted in the usual manner.
All these things go through my head like, he never listens, he doesn't hear me, he doesn't care about how I feel, he doesn't respect my boundaries, etc etc etc. The thoughts overwhelmed me and I became really upset when he scoffed at me. I threw his TV remote into the other room. He kept looking at his phone while I told him I was mad and talked about how I felt (a repeating behavior that I have a huge problem with) so I told him to put it down!
He just kept shutting down and I kept getting more upset. This is the cycle. We just got into a fight about it. He pulled some classic blows: Saying sarcastically that I should go to a meeting, sarcastically telling me I'm not a psychiatrist when I'm telling him what I see, telling me to stop dragging my past relationships into our present relationship. Meanwhile I'm telling him that I feel like he never hears me, and like he doesn't care about how I feel.
Then he finally calms down and apologizes, of course when I'm reduced to frustrated tears and I am so confused and frustrated, and it is always like this. Why can't he just listen, why didn't he just listen to the news in the kitchen like I would have done if he was sleeping. Why do my needs or boundaries not matter. Why did he have to pull so many punches about my previous marriages and up the ante so much. I kept telling him "When you do this, I feel like this.... bla bla bla" and he just kept saying "Why are you REALLY mad," as if it could have nothing to do with him, and "Why is this such a big deal," and I was responding to him that these actions communicate to me over and over again that he doesn't care. And that the REAL reason I'm mad is because of the overarching problem is that I don't feel heard, and how can I move in with someone who can't just not blare the TV in my face when I am in bed, just because I'm a human being worthy of respect.
It is super hard for me to think of moving in together next year when he is demonstrating over and over again that my feelings don't matter. And no this is not the only example. And yes I am really traumatized by my exes, and I am doing something really big just trying to even make something work with him. I could have run screaming in terror from relationships, and maybe I should have. He just shows me these actions of not caring, then apologizes and TELLS me he cares, then it all just happens over again. And I just feel so frustrated and I am doing everything I can to try to stand up for myself and also to be loving and care for him and respect him. Maybe I should just give up.
Sorry for this rant I know no one wants to hear about my stupid relationship but I am so depressed now I can't seem to get my head together to do the work I wanted to do, I feel so stupid and undeserving, I feel confused, I feel like nothing I make is real or matters, this is just how it is right now so I came here because I can't go anywhere else and be heard right now. And that cluster of feelings is immensely triggering.
Now, he has done this many times in the past and we have argued about it before. To me, it is inconsiderate and rude, and shows that he doesn't care that I am still asleep. He usually replies something like "It's time to get up anyway" or gets snarky with me or dismisses me or laughs me off. All of these things make me really mad. And the fact that we have talked about it before and he clearly doesn't care shows me he doesn't care how I feel. So I sat up in the bed and said "Why are you doing that? You said you would stop blaring the TV early in the morning when I'm asleep!" He reacted in the usual manner.
All these things go through my head like, he never listens, he doesn't hear me, he doesn't care about how I feel, he doesn't respect my boundaries, etc etc etc. The thoughts overwhelmed me and I became really upset when he scoffed at me. I threw his TV remote into the other room. He kept looking at his phone while I told him I was mad and talked about how I felt (a repeating behavior that I have a huge problem with) so I told him to put it down!
He just kept shutting down and I kept getting more upset. This is the cycle. We just got into a fight about it. He pulled some classic blows: Saying sarcastically that I should go to a meeting, sarcastically telling me I'm not a psychiatrist when I'm telling him what I see, telling me to stop dragging my past relationships into our present relationship. Meanwhile I'm telling him that I feel like he never hears me, and like he doesn't care about how I feel.
Then he finally calms down and apologizes, of course when I'm reduced to frustrated tears and I am so confused and frustrated, and it is always like this. Why can't he just listen, why didn't he just listen to the news in the kitchen like I would have done if he was sleeping. Why do my needs or boundaries not matter. Why did he have to pull so many punches about my previous marriages and up the ante so much. I kept telling him "When you do this, I feel like this.... bla bla bla" and he just kept saying "Why are you REALLY mad," as if it could have nothing to do with him, and "Why is this such a big deal," and I was responding to him that these actions communicate to me over and over again that he doesn't care. And that the REAL reason I'm mad is because of the overarching problem is that I don't feel heard, and how can I move in with someone who can't just not blare the TV in my face when I am in bed, just because I'm a human being worthy of respect.
It is super hard for me to think of moving in together next year when he is demonstrating over and over again that my feelings don't matter. And no this is not the only example. And yes I am really traumatized by my exes, and I am doing something really big just trying to even make something work with him. I could have run screaming in terror from relationships, and maybe I should have. He just shows me these actions of not caring, then apologizes and TELLS me he cares, then it all just happens over again. And I just feel so frustrated and I am doing everything I can to try to stand up for myself and also to be loving and care for him and respect him. Maybe I should just give up.
Sorry for this rant I know no one wants to hear about my stupid relationship but I am so depressed now I can't seem to get my head together to do the work I wanted to do, I feel so stupid and undeserving, I feel confused, I feel like nothing I make is real or matters, this is just how it is right now so I came here because I can't go anywhere else and be heard right now. And that cluster of feelings is immensely triggering.
My guess is he hasn't learned how to be a good listener, how to attend to your needs, how to be open to changing his routine. And perhaps you could both use some tools on effective communication so that defenses don't go up as soon as requests are made.
Totally not blaming you though- I would be very irate as well if my morning went the way yours did! Is there a way to have a sit down about it later when you are both calm?
Please don't drink over this. It can be resolved, in one way or another.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2013
Posts: 2,747
Sunflower! Kev! Snufkin!
Thinking of you, I was frustrated and destitute yesterday. I was angry, I wanted to drink, I felt like all was lost with my partner, I felt alone. I still feel a minute amount of all of those things but in a much more manageable way.
Kev I'm sorry you can't move around. It's worth it to do this healing properly, then you'll be back with a vengeance.
I'm still frustrated and feeling on the edge of something, but without the "edge" if you know what I mean. I have told DJTM how some of the things he does and says make me feel. He seems to recognize what I'm saying then immediately gets defensive about it and reverts back to accusing me of taking something else out on him. When he was the one who committed the action that hurt me. But I do have a couple days to focus on me. So I'll just keep that up. Then I'm going to go over there tomorrow and try to do my best with what I know I personally have to work on because that's all I can control.
Thinking of you, I was frustrated and destitute yesterday. I was angry, I wanted to drink, I felt like all was lost with my partner, I felt alone. I still feel a minute amount of all of those things but in a much more manageable way.
Kev I'm sorry you can't move around. It's worth it to do this healing properly, then you'll be back with a vengeance.
I'm still frustrated and feeling on the edge of something, but without the "edge" if you know what I mean. I have told DJTM how some of the things he does and says make me feel. He seems to recognize what I'm saying then immediately gets defensive about it and reverts back to accusing me of taking something else out on him. When he was the one who committed the action that hurt me. But I do have a couple days to focus on me. So I'll just keep that up. Then I'm going to go over there tomorrow and try to do my best with what I know I personally have to work on because that's all I can control.
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