24 Hour Recovery Connections Part 401
Member
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: German Village, Columbus with my love ♥
Posts: 88,496
Originally Posted by Plenny 
She texted me that she is having anxiety and dealing with that and she’s trying not to drink. She’s trying to reach to me for help. Or some kind of connection. I can’t be there for her right now and I am still angry. She pushed me away really hard when I was in crisis. I didn’t want to respond to her because I didn’t want to open up a conversation. But I couldn’t stop worrying and also being sore still that she did what she did and is pretending yet again like nothing happened. Now she wants something from me. This is very triggering for me.
Anyway so since I couldn’t stop thinking of her and I felt I needed to respond, I simply said “Seeing a therapist and finding support from groups like AA will help with that. Take good care of yourself.“
I’m afraid if I open up and remind her she hurt me and that I can not be there for her she will spiral into depression. She reaches out to me as a last resort (when she doesn’t need something from me she brushes me off) so I’m actually worried that things are bad. But I’m mad that she’d gloss over all the things she did. She hasn’t said one word.
I need her and all family out of my head it is driving me mad and this is usually when I drink
Anyway so since I couldn’t stop thinking of her and I felt I needed to respond, I simply said “Seeing a therapist and finding support from groups like AA will help with that. Take good care of yourself.“
I’m afraid if I open up and remind her she hurt me and that I can not be there for her she will spiral into depression. She reaches out to me as a last resort (when she doesn’t need something from me she brushes me off) so I’m actually worried that things are bad. But I’m mad that she’d gloss over all the things she did. She hasn’t said one word.
I need her and all family out of my head it is driving me mad and this is usually when I drink
I got a lot of good advice.....what I took away from it was nothing but nothing comes before my sobriety or gets in the way of it. So I detached completely to save myself. I am not forgiven, but I am sober and happy.
If you want to talk more about this....here love.
♥♥♥♥♥
Member
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: German Village, Columbus with my love ♥
Posts: 88,496
Originally Posted by Snufkin
I'm sorry about what happened between you and your sister, Plenny. I obviously don't know the whole story, but I do believe it's best to cut ties of bad family relationship, where respect is nowhere in sight. Lack of boundaries is a terrible thing for us, recovering folks. 
That's what I did; I'm not in touch with anyone but my parents. My cousins message me sometimes with their mountain of problems, but I never reply, never call back. I'm aware that most of my family members do not understand it and they bad mouth about me a lot, but I worked out that all contact with them cause me stress (they also hurt me in the past and they have zero believe in me succeeding in art; they have to voice their 'concern' every time we talk...), and I need to focus on my own life right now.
I think you responded very well, you offered your sister an honest advice and I would leave it at that. Please don't make her lead you to drink. We're here for you - your real family.
Love to All
That's what I did; I'm not in touch with anyone but my parents. My cousins message me sometimes with their mountain of problems, but I never reply, never call back. I'm aware that most of my family members do not understand it and they bad mouth about me a lot, but I worked out that all contact with them cause me stress (they also hurt me in the past and they have zero believe in me succeeding in art; they have to voice their 'concern' every time we talk...), and I need to focus on my own life right now.
I think you responded very well, you offered your sister an honest advice and I would leave it at that. Please don't make her lead you to drink. We're here for you - your real family.
Love to All
♥♥
Member
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: German Village, Columbus with my love ♥
Posts: 88,496
I don't know if you will have a chance to come back here today kenton love....thinking of you honey. Kidney infections are really really awful....you need complete rest and that is so not possible when you have so many kids and dogs and husbands and all manner of people needing your attention....and kent....I always feel so bad for dogs when they are sick....at least we can understand what is wrong with us....so I don't think being a lab is the answer.
Love you honey. xx ♥
Love you honey. xx
♥
Member
Join Date: May 2018
Posts: 8,762
Kenton I hope the antibiotics kick in really soon and you’re feeling better soon, physically, mentally and emotionally. It’s definitely all tied together. I had a kidney infection once and it was not fun. Even your posts when you’re not feeling well are so good to read. Sending you love, please look after yourself and get well soon ❤️
Minion ❤️ congratulations on 60 days!!!
Plenny I think that was very compassionate of you to respond to your sister like that especially given how you feel. I think you did an admirable thing in the circumstances and now you can focus on your own journey, guilt-free and with no need for any further contact. Your own recovery is precious and you need to do whatever it is you need to. I hope things get better for you, sending you love and support ❤️
I spent a little time today with my Dad who’s going ok all considered, but he wasn’t up for company for long, and I spent time with the rest of my family. I also went for another walk in the rain Kev, I love walking in the rain too I didn’t go to the winery just down the road and I didn’t go to the liquor store and I didn’t drink today. So I’m off to bed now on another sober day, thank you all on SR for your amazingness ❤️
Hugs to you all
Minion ❤️ congratulations on 60 days!!!
Plenny I think that was very compassionate of you to respond to your sister like that especially given how you feel. I think you did an admirable thing in the circumstances and now you can focus on your own journey, guilt-free and with no need for any further contact. Your own recovery is precious and you need to do whatever it is you need to. I hope things get better for you, sending you love and support ❤️
I spent a little time today with my Dad who’s going ok all considered, but he wasn’t up for company for long, and I spent time with the rest of my family. I also went for another walk in the rain
Kev, I love walking in the rain too I didn’t go to the winery just down the road and I didn’t go to the liquor store and I didn’t drink today. So I’m off to bed now on another sober day, thank you all on SR for your amazingness ❤️Hugs to you all
Member
Join Date: May 2016
Location: Texas, US
Posts: 2,478
Good morning everyone,
Missed a few check ins. Trying to work my usual hours and train my new dog has been very challenging. He is housebroken, but is otherwise untrained. I hired a dog walker to help, and next week we’re going to schedule obedience training. Hes a good, smart, sweet dog, so once we get more help things will really get better quickly. Leash training, impulse control and recall, so we can get out and about. He’s got plenty of energy that I can’t burn due to not being able to walk well on leash yet. I’ll just do my best until school starts! He’s 1000 times better off here, though things aren’t ideal. I need to stop feeling so guilty and inadequate. He’s sulking but I need to keep him safe no matter what. He will be fine!
So off to shower and shop and do Saturday things!
24 more for sure!
Xx
Red
Missed a few check ins. Trying to work my usual hours and train my new dog has been very challenging. He is housebroken, but is otherwise untrained. I hired a dog walker to help, and next week we’re going to schedule obedience training. Hes a good, smart, sweet dog, so once we get more help things will really get better quickly. Leash training, impulse control and recall, so we can get out and about. He’s got plenty of energy that I can’t burn due to not being able to walk well on leash yet. I’ll just do my best until school starts! He’s 1000 times better off here, though things aren’t ideal. I need to stop feeling so guilty and inadequate. He’s sulking but I need to keep him safe no matter what. He will be fine!
So off to shower and shop and do Saturday things!
24 more for sure!
Xx
Red
Member
Join Date: Jul 2013
Posts: 2,742
Thanks everyone so much! I really felt the worry and self punishing lifting with every word you all wrote. It does me so much good to feel that I’m not alone in this kind of battle. I was able to calm down and get back to sleep. I went ahead and blocked her number even though that goes against everything I believe in since I care about her very much. But if she can put me in that much of a spin when I’m sober, when it’s usually easier for me to deal with things, then I’m still in danger and a boundary has been crossed. My therapist mentioned to me yesterday that I said how happy I am with no contact. I repeatedly told her how great it’s been apparently. So I’m going to try not to feel guilty about blocking. I hope she gets help and I hope she’s ok. I only need to know she’s mortally ok at this point I really can’t deal with any other info.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2018
Posts: 1,137
Morning all! 
It's mid afternoon here but I went straight back to bed after I got up in the morning. I have ZERO energy today physically, my battery is as empty as it can be. Even typing feels like hard work. I must've over exhausted myself quite a bit yesterday with all the walking around on my crutches and searching for things in my cellar and so on.
I remember feeling this weak and exhausted when I was drinking daily. Even the most basic activities would've left me feeling completely worn out. And I didn't even have a broken bone then.
I have my AA home group meeting tonight but I already messaged them that I am not sure I can make it. I think I will just watch some more episodes of Elementary and then see if my tired hand can lift a pencil or a paint brush.
It's mid afternoon here but I went straight back to bed after I got up in the morning. I have ZERO energy today physically, my battery is as empty as it can be. Even typing feels like hard work. I must've over exhausted myself quite a bit yesterday with all the walking around on my crutches and searching for things in my cellar and so on.
I remember feeling this weak and exhausted when I was drinking daily. Even the most basic activities would've left me feeling completely worn out. And I didn't even have a broken bone then.
I have my AA home group meeting tonight but I already messaged them that I am not sure I can make it. I think I will just watch some more episodes of Elementary and then see if my tired hand can lift a pencil or a paint brush.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2018
Posts: 1,137
Originally Posted by Willow68
I spent a little time today with my Dad who’s going ok all considered, but he wasn’t up for company for long, and I spent time with the rest of my family. I also went for another walk in the rain Kev, I love walking in the rain too I didn’t go to the winery just down the road and I didn’t go to the liquor store and I didn’t drink today. So I’m off to bed now on another sober day, thank you all on SR for your amazingness ❤️
Hugs to you all
Kev, I love walking in the rain too I didn’t go to the winery just down the road and I didn’t go to the liquor store and I didn’t drink today. So I’m off to bed now on another sober day, thank you all on SR for your amazingness ❤️Hugs to you all
Member
Join Date: Apr 2016
Location: UK
Posts: 4,553
Ah home at last! Coffee in my favourite mug and washer is on already!
I just wanted to pop by to reassure you girls that it absolutely OKAY no in fact it is utterly necessary to put yourself first sometimes to protect your sobriety. Not just avoiding the poison in your face but also people places and situations that cause you to get triggered. As mums, sisters, wives, daughters and friends we give give give and it becomes ingrained. Of course helping others and giving is a wonderful thing (and not exclusive to females - sorry chaps) which does indeed help our recovery but when we are stronger and ready. Never forget we are saving our lives. With that in mind ditch the guilt over the meeting the phone call or whatever. You have every right to get well and heal. You have every right to say "no" and for it to be a complete sentence.
Love to all ❤❤❤
I just wanted to pop by to reassure you girls that it absolutely OKAY no in fact it is utterly necessary to put yourself first sometimes to protect your sobriety. Not just avoiding the poison in your face but also people places and situations that cause you to get triggered. As mums, sisters, wives, daughters and friends we give give give and it becomes ingrained. Of course helping others and giving is a wonderful thing (and not exclusive to females - sorry chaps) which does indeed help our recovery but when we are stronger and ready. Never forget we are saving our lives. With that in mind ditch the guilt over the meeting the phone call or whatever. You have every right to get well and heal. You have every right to say "no" and for it to be a complete sentence.
Love to all ❤❤❤
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