Class of July 2018 Part 2
Member
Join Date: May 2018
Posts: 179
On day seven today. I took a picture on day one (puffy cheeks, sad eyes, forehead lines, angry red skin, huge double chin, red dots everywhere) and took another picture from the same angle today. Suddenly I have cheekbones, a nice skin tone, no double chin, no breakout, eyes that are not bloodshot or hidden behind squirrel cheeks... I'm making these two pictures the picture on my phone to remind me how pitiful drinking makes my body.
Congratulations to everyone for just being here and accountable. We can do this!
Congratulations to everyone for just being here and accountable. We can do this!
Member
Join Date: Jul 2018
Posts: 2,279
Night guys. Not a very nice day today, low mood and pretty angry all day. But so glad I didn’t drink on it
VERY early start tomorrow, will allow myself a sleep in the afternoon to make up
Well done everyone who is keeping going, it is so much better going to bed sober than the nightmare I was in (and I know several others were in too)
VERY early start tomorrow, will allow myself a sleep in the afternoon to make up
Well done everyone who is keeping going, it is so much better going to bed sober than the nightmare I was in (and I know several others were in too)
Member
Join Date: Oct 2014
Location: Buffalo, NY
Posts: 95
Nice job Treebeard. I didn't realize till logging on today that it's the last day of the month. It feels good. A bit like a graduation. Tomorrow makes 4 weeks for me. My biggest fear is complacency.
I got one of the books recommended in the Books on Recovery thread, The Spirituality of Imperfection. There's a lot of good, inspiring material in that book. I'm just about a third of the way through it. It talks about the feeling of complacency - about how there is an energy you get from resisting temptation, but when there isn't that tension, complacency sets in.
I want to avoid the feeling that I've accomplished anything, or that I am no longer an alcoholic, because I haven't drank in 4 weeks. If I've accomplished something, or reached a goal, then I wouldn't have to put the effort into recovery, but the minute I stop putting that effort forth, I'll have bought a six pack already and have lost all the progress that I've made.
I want to see it as a never ending progression, with absolutely no concept of perfection. There will never be a time when I'm suddenly cured. So long as I keep on living, there will always be temptations that I will need to resist. That goes for things other than drinking, those I've not even addressed in my life yet.
I can look back on the time I've managed to stay sober and be glad about that. I can see the improvements in my life and health and mind and appreciate them. I cannot, however, become complacent for one single day, or even be entirely happy with where I am currently at, or, I feel I will lose the energy that is driving me to make progress.
This is a new way of looking at life for me. It's quite different from the drinking to end (briefly) the suffering that I was inclined towards. I still suffer in life, but I'm finding enjoyable ways to cope with difficulties. It's not exactly taking lemons and making lemonade, because the lemons aren't a finite amount. There's going to be more lemons that I know what to do with, and I'd get sick of lemonade, there will be so many lemons to make it with.
It's more like a never ending obstacle course. The sense of accomplishment after making it over a tough one is immediately replaced by the challenge of the next. Sometimes there's no sense of accomplishment at all, unless you look back and see how far in total you've made it. But the more time you spend looking back, the less progress you'll make total.
That's how I'm seeing this process. I'm finding peace in the thought that there will be no perfection for me. That's a fact of life. When it's perfect, it's complete, and life will never be complete until it's over. That's a liberating thought to me, making me feel more comfortable in my own imperfect skin.
I got one of the books recommended in the Books on Recovery thread, The Spirituality of Imperfection. There's a lot of good, inspiring material in that book. I'm just about a third of the way through it. It talks about the feeling of complacency - about how there is an energy you get from resisting temptation, but when there isn't that tension, complacency sets in.
I want to avoid the feeling that I've accomplished anything, or that I am no longer an alcoholic, because I haven't drank in 4 weeks. If I've accomplished something, or reached a goal, then I wouldn't have to put the effort into recovery, but the minute I stop putting that effort forth, I'll have bought a six pack already and have lost all the progress that I've made.
I want to see it as a never ending progression, with absolutely no concept of perfection. There will never be a time when I'm suddenly cured. So long as I keep on living, there will always be temptations that I will need to resist. That goes for things other than drinking, those I've not even addressed in my life yet.
I can look back on the time I've managed to stay sober and be glad about that. I can see the improvements in my life and health and mind and appreciate them. I cannot, however, become complacent for one single day, or even be entirely happy with where I am currently at, or, I feel I will lose the energy that is driving me to make progress.
This is a new way of looking at life for me. It's quite different from the drinking to end (briefly) the suffering that I was inclined towards. I still suffer in life, but I'm finding enjoyable ways to cope with difficulties. It's not exactly taking lemons and making lemonade, because the lemons aren't a finite amount. There's going to be more lemons that I know what to do with, and I'd get sick of lemonade, there will be so many lemons to make it with.
It's more like a never ending obstacle course. The sense of accomplishment after making it over a tough one is immediately replaced by the challenge of the next. Sometimes there's no sense of accomplishment at all, unless you look back and see how far in total you've made it. But the more time you spend looking back, the less progress you'll make total.
That's how I'm seeing this process. I'm finding peace in the thought that there will be no perfection for me. That's a fact of life. When it's perfect, it's complete, and life will never be complete until it's over. That's a liberating thought to me, making me feel more comfortable in my own imperfect skin.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2011
Posts: 543
Day 17.
I am seeing some deterioration in my eating habits... overindulged a bit at the Chinese buffet last night. I'm not entirely surprised but it is something I really want to nip in the bud since a clearer head has made me realize more than ever that I really need to drop to a healthier weight.
60 pounds over the next year is the goal... I would estimate the absence of the calories from beer alone will do it as long as I don't replace those calories with something else.
I am seeing some deterioration in my eating habits... overindulged a bit at the Chinese buffet last night. I'm not entirely surprised but it is something I really want to nip in the bud since a clearer head has made me realize more than ever that I really need to drop to a healthier weight.
60 pounds over the next year is the goal... I would estimate the absence of the calories from beer alone will do it as long as I don't replace those calories with something else.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2018
Posts: 2,279
Morning. Checking in for another day
Would it be a good idea to do a head count to see who’s made it through to ‘the other side’? I’ve looked at other threads and accountability and friendship seems key, so I’m going to start taking it a bit more seriously in terms of checking in and up with people. We’re all at different stages but all here together.
So I’m Ben123, I’m trying not to count the days but I’m aiming for 24th January as my six month point - not to start drinking again but as the point a lot of people say the AV and cravings noticeably decrease.
I can’t drink alcohol and am glad to report that the idea repulses me. I’ve had several attempts at sobriety in the post so feel a bit scared I’ll mess it all up. The only option for me is tota sobriety for good, and I’m attacking that one day at a time at present
Would it be a good idea to do a head count to see who’s made it through to ‘the other side’? I’ve looked at other threads and accountability and friendship seems key, so I’m going to start taking it a bit more seriously in terms of checking in and up with people. We’re all at different stages but all here together.
So I’m Ben123, I’m trying not to count the days but I’m aiming for 24th January as my six month point - not to start drinking again but as the point a lot of people say the AV and cravings noticeably decrease.
I can’t drink alcohol and am glad to report that the idea repulses me. I’ve had several attempts at sobriety in the post so feel a bit scared I’ll mess it all up. The only option for me is tota sobriety for good, and I’m attacking that one day at a time at present
Member
Join Date: Jul 2014
Location: North East Scotland
Posts: 487
Good morning everyone.
How's everyone today?
Love reading everyone's posts, great to see that we're not alone.
It's a hard battle, I've tried so many times (and failed so many times)….I'm in my 40's now and have been drinking pretty much 1 to 2 bottles of red wine everynight since I've been in my 20's…..a wee break when I was pregnant with my 2 children, then right back on it again. I've had numerous attempts to get off the wine, I manage for a short time, then I think I can be "social" and have 1 or 2 drinks, which of course, leads back to chugging back the bottles again.
My hubbys uncle died a few months ago from alcoholism. He was 52. He had a brain bleed which caused a stroke. His autopsy also showed, liver cirrhosis, pneumonia and various other things. It's very very scary ….. I often think "oh it won't happen to me" …….. but the older I get - the more I realise, it could be me - it could be any of us.....
We can do this ……
How's everyone today?
Love reading everyone's posts, great to see that we're not alone.
It's a hard battle, I've tried so many times (and failed so many times)….I'm in my 40's now and have been drinking pretty much 1 to 2 bottles of red wine everynight since I've been in my 20's…..a wee break when I was pregnant with my 2 children, then right back on it again. I've had numerous attempts to get off the wine, I manage for a short time, then I think I can be "social" and have 1 or 2 drinks, which of course, leads back to chugging back the bottles again.
My hubbys uncle died a few months ago from alcoholism. He was 52. He had a brain bleed which caused a stroke. His autopsy also showed, liver cirrhosis, pneumonia and various other things. It's very very scary ….. I often think "oh it won't happen to me" …….. but the older I get - the more I realise, it could be me - it could be any of us.....
We can do this ……
Member
Join Date: Jul 2014
Location: North East Scotland
Posts: 487
Ace YuriO - I'm going to take a look at that book, sounds good, congrats on 4 weeks.
Same here TeeJay, eating everything in sight.
Treebeard - congrats on 30 days .
Lipstuck - congrats on 7 days. I'm the same, face is so puffy and bloated. It's a great feeling when that starts to go xx
Same here TeeJay, eating everything in sight.
Treebeard - congrats on 30 days .
Lipstuck - congrats on 7 days. I'm the same, face is so puffy and bloated. It's a great feeling when that starts to go xx
Member
Join Date: Jul 2014
Location: North East Scotland
Posts: 487
Originally Posted by Ben123 
Hi Shenz. Have a great day and join me in 24 hours enjoying being sober 👍👍
Member
Join Date: Jul 2018
Location: Washington
Posts: 73
Heya guys.
Good plan, Ben. I too am trying to check in here regularly and keep the connection. This site and everyone on it has been a huge help.
I'm right there with you Shenzy. The cycle you describe is what I've done so many times and for so long. I got so tired of the mental struggle of failing over and over again to keep my drinking in check. Trying to stop, trying to set rules, abstaining for a few days then going right back at it -- tying one on when I told myself I'd have one or two, driving home buzzed\drunk, pigging out on terrible food, having a two day hangover, not working out because I felt like crap, having bad days at work because of my hangover, etc. I'm in my 40s now and I've been on the rollercoaster for a while now.
The last three weeks have been hard at times, but it feels like I've somehow created a calm spot in the storm by surrendering to just being sober. I'm very grateful that I've found this site and its been very grounding to be able to post here regularly and read about other people dealing with similar situations.
Hope everyone has a great day today.
Good plan, Ben. I too am trying to check in here regularly and keep the connection. This site and everyone on it has been a huge help.
I'm right there with you Shenzy. The cycle you describe is what I've done so many times and for so long. I got so tired of the mental struggle of failing over and over again to keep my drinking in check. Trying to stop, trying to set rules, abstaining for a few days then going right back at it -- tying one on when I told myself I'd have one or two, driving home buzzed\drunk, pigging out on terrible food, having a two day hangover, not working out because I felt like crap, having bad days at work because of my hangover, etc. I'm in my 40s now and I've been on the rollercoaster for a while now.
The last three weeks have been hard at times, but it feels like I've somehow created a calm spot in the storm by surrendering to just being sober. I'm very grateful that I've found this site and its been very grounding to be able to post here regularly and read about other people dealing with similar situations.
Hope everyone has a great day today.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2018
Location: California
Posts: 80
Originally Posted by rustygolf
Heya guys.
Good plan, Ben. I too am trying to check in here regularly and keep the connection. This site and everyone on it has been a huge help.
I'm right there with you Shenzy. The cycle you describe is what I've done so many times and for so long. I got so tired of the mental struggle of failing over and over again to keep my drinking in check. Trying to stop, trying to set rules, abstaining for a few days then going right back at it -- tying one on when I told myself I'd have one or two, driving home buzzed\drunk, pigging out on terrible food, having a two day hangover, not working out because I felt like crap, having bad days at work because of my hangover, etc. I'm in my 40s now and I've been on the rollercoaster for a while now.
The last three weeks have been hard at times, but it feels like I've somehow created a calm spot in the storm by surrendering to just being sober. I'm very grateful that I've found this site and its been very grounding to be able to post here regularly and read about other people dealing with similar situations.
Hope everyone has a great day today.
Good plan, Ben. I too am trying to check in here regularly and keep the connection. This site and everyone on it has been a huge help.
I'm right there with you Shenzy. The cycle you describe is what I've done so many times and for so long. I got so tired of the mental struggle of failing over and over again to keep my drinking in check. Trying to stop, trying to set rules, abstaining for a few days then going right back at it -- tying one on when I told myself I'd have one or two, driving home buzzed\drunk, pigging out on terrible food, having a two day hangover, not working out because I felt like crap, having bad days at work because of my hangover, etc. I'm in my 40s now and I've been on the rollercoaster for a while now.
The last three weeks have been hard at times, but it feels like I've somehow created a calm spot in the storm by surrendering to just being sober. I'm very grateful that I've found this site and its been very grounding to be able to post here regularly and read about other people dealing with similar situations.
Hope everyone has a great day today.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2011
Posts: 543
Originally Posted by ShenzyT
Same here TeeJay, eating everything in sight.
Hopefully, that is my last business trip for a while and can concentrate on regular exercise.
Day 18... and distracted more about the desire to lose weight than the temptation to drink.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2011
Posts: 543
Originally Posted by ForMe247
Thanks for posting rustygolf. I’ve been on that cycle many times and hate it. I’ve been actively trying to quit for 7 months now but always fall off the wagon. I was doing good in July for a while. Im trying again for dry August.
Now I know better... one would start the slow, gradual bleed again! Just easier to just not pick up that first one to begin with.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2018
Location: California
Posts: 80
Originally Posted by TeeJayVerm
I've been on a similar pattern myself and had three periods of abstinence earlier this year ranging from one to two weeks. Each time, I thought I could start again and do so in moderation which has not worked out.
Now I know better... one would start the slow, gradual bleed again! Just easier to just not pick up that first one to begin with.
Now I know better... one would start the slow, gradual bleed again! Just easier to just not pick up that first one to begin with.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2018
Location: Washington
Posts: 73
The "short memory" nature of this is a real killer. I've done it so many times. We just have to keep reminding ourselves that we've proven over and over again that we can't do that. Easier said than done, obviously.
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