One Year and Under Club Part 61
Member
Join Date: May 2018
Posts: 8,762
Well done on 6 months Redcardid 
great going!
I get depressed too, a lot of up and downs, and I see it more clearly now, the self medicating. But no more. I’m on a supplement all natural antidepressant containing SAMe that seems to help somewhat, although I still get mood swings and lots of waves of grief. But I’m hanging in there. I made a decision for Christmas. I’ll be around heavy drinking (boyfriend’s family this year) and missing my own family, especially my parents this year, but I’m going to focus on the strength, resilience and zest for life that my parents have passed onto me and how proud they are in Heaven of my new sober life ❤️ So I am going to look for adventure and love of life rather than oblivion this Christmas season when others are drinking and it gets too much, I will go for a walk, or read “this naked mind “ which I have bought especially for this season for when we go away (will be away from home and with his family for 2 weeks over Christmas and new year).
great going!I get depressed too, a lot of up and downs, and I see it more clearly now, the self medicating. But no more. I’m on a supplement all natural antidepressant containing SAMe that seems to help somewhat, although I still get mood swings and lots of waves of grief. But I’m hanging in there. I made a decision for Christmas. I’ll be around heavy drinking (boyfriend’s family this year) and missing my own family, especially my parents this year, but I’m going to focus on the strength, resilience and zest for life that my parents have passed onto me and how proud they are in Heaven of my new sober life ❤️ So I am going to look for adventure and love of life rather than oblivion this Christmas season
when others are drinking and it gets too much, I will go for a walk, or read “this naked mind “ which I have bought especially for this season for when we go away (will be away from home and with his family for 2 weeks over Christmas and new year). 
Free
Member
Join Date: Oct 2018
Location: New Mexico
Posts: 1,339
I have been struggling mentally this past week with my AV wanting to engage me.
Part of it may be because I've been feeling a bit down in the dumps lately, though I cannot pinpoint a particular reason. My motivation has been lower than usual to do things, but I've been pushing through it. I think I'll be happier when the days begin to grow longer again, when the holidays have past us, and as things are a bit more interesting on the work front (which they should be pretty soon).
My usual mental "tricks" when dealing with negative thoughts are helpful, but I find myself projecting into the future what it would be like if I took a drink, and not all of it sounds horrible. Then I read posts here on SR and remember that it would be a disaster that I can avoid. I feel a little bit of white-knuckling going on with it all.
Part of it may be because I've been feeling a bit down in the dumps lately, though I cannot pinpoint a particular reason. My motivation has been lower than usual to do things, but I've been pushing through it. I think I'll be happier when the days begin to grow longer again, when the holidays have past us, and as things are a bit more interesting on the work front (which they should be pretty soon).
My usual mental "tricks" when dealing with negative thoughts are helpful, but I find myself projecting into the future what it would be like if I took a drink, and not all of it sounds horrible. Then I read posts here on SR and remember that it would be a disaster that I can avoid. I feel a little bit of white-knuckling going on with it all.
Member
Join Date: May 2018
Posts: 8,762
Stay strong Guener, play the tape forward to the crappy consequences of drinking. I too have to keep taking off my rose tinted glasses and remind myself of the horror of that constant hangover-crave a drink-get plastered-hangover cycle. 
Nope. We don’t want to go back there again...
Nope. We don’t want to go back there again...
Living and Loving Life at Last
Join Date: Aug 2012
Location: gods own country
Posts: 12,169
Guerner, I've had to white knuckle it a time or two, the thing with AV is it doesn't get its teeth into you if you can distract yourself. Confronting the holidays sober this first year is a tough one. You are trying to avoid all things linked with drinking, but in the holidays, everyone is at it.
Look to do something you enjoy. Find a way to treat yourself. And remember to be proud of all you have achieved so far.
Look to do something you enjoy. Find a way to treat yourself. And remember to be proud of all you have achieved so far.
Member
Join Date: May 2018
Posts: 8,762
I’ll be with drinkers for a few weeks over Christmas. Our trip is getting closer. We’ll be flying. Airport bars will be on the agenda. Then pubs, bars, boozy family events, Christmas drinks, more Christmas drinks. There’s going to be about a dozen of my partner’s family and I will be the only non-drinker. To be honest I’d rather stay home by myself and talk to Mum and Dad and God than be around drunken merrymaking. But it’s something I have to do. For my relationship’s sake. So I’m planning lots of things to keep me from picking up a drink. I know it’s going to be a real challenge. I know they’re going to encourage me to drink. I will stock up on lots of nonalcoholic drinks. I will beg off for quiet time to myself. I am taking photos of my parents so I can see them when I go off by myself and talk to them and ask them to please help me to stay sober. I miss them so much. I’m going to take books to read. I’m going to post on SR. Actually I feel like I’m going to be a bit of a wet blanket on their party atmosphere. I’m going to try not to be, but I know them. I know their partying revolves around everyone drinking, and I won’t be part of it. It’s scaring me. I can’t escape it and I hope I don’t cave in.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2018
Location: New Mexico
Posts: 1,339
I just finished reading our local paper, and two of the front page headlines are telling stories. A new local facility that puts together medical and therapy specialists in one place is seeing a lot of addiction clients in our small town, in only six weeks of operating. The other is free training on Narcan administration is being offered in the community. My therapist is based at the said mentioned new site, and I have been there to see her once since that time, and while I think they can improve on things about the place as being less clinical, perhaps that's a good start for my town.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2018
Location: New Mexico
Posts: 1,339
Willow, I think that you are as prepared as you are going to be, but you are putting a lot of pressure on yourself that you'll be the outlier, that "wet blanket" in the crowd of overheated drinkers. You will be unique in such circumstances, yes, but that just makes you more special in our eyes as we realize that it will be trying on you. You have already been through a lot without picking up, and I feel confident in you. You'll be a fire walker.
Member
Join Date: May 2018
Posts: 8,762
Thanks Guener and Caramel ❤️ You guys are awesome, thank you for your support. I will stay strong and come to SR for support when I need to Hopefully I will find support amongst the family too. My partner is fine, he knows I’m not drinking, although when he’s had a few himself I can’t predict whether he’ll be supportive or cajoling me to join them. Either way I’m determined not to drink. A few weeks ago I was wavering in my determination, thinking maybe just for Christmas... but I realised it was the destructive AV talking, not my true self, so I called the AV on it and reinforced my determination
Hopefully I will find support amongst the family too. My partner is fine, he knows I’m not drinking, although when he’s had a few himself I can’t predict whether he’ll be supportive or cajoling me to join them. Either way I’m determined not to drink. A few weeks ago I was wavering in my determination, thinking maybe just for Christmas... but I realised it was the destructive AV talking, not my true self, so I called the AV on it and reinforced my determination
Member
Join Date: Jun 2017
Posts: 1,276
Welcome back drake. I just wanted to say I had a few years sobriety myself but foolishly decided to drink again. I’m now back to 15 months sober. The undies thread has been a real big part of my recovery. You can definitely do this🙂
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