One Year and Under Club Part 61
Living and Loving Life at Last
Join Date: Aug 2012
Location: gods own country
Posts: 12,169
I guess it's best to be totally upfront about not drinking, Willow. I suggest you also have a ready supply of your favourite soft drink. ( I guzzle about 2 litres of cheap fizzy water, so usually take supplies with me on visits!)
If like me you don't even eat food cooked in alcohol, you may want to watch out for sauces and boozy puddings.
Visualisation is something I know I bang on about, but it is a great way of strengthening resolve before you even get into a situation.
Believe in yourself. You have gotten through the worst of times sober, now you can get through 'merry' times. No one will expect you to be the life of the party, so make sure and take time outs when ever you need. Come here, go to AA, do what you need to bolster your sobriety. Make it your focus.
And guys, remember how strong and awesome you all are. What you are doing here is amazing and I have total belief in you.
If like me you don't even eat food cooked in alcohol, you may want to watch out for sauces and boozy puddings.
Visualisation is something I know I bang on about, but it is a great way of strengthening resolve before you even get into a situation.
Believe in yourself. You have gotten through the worst of times sober, now you can get through 'merry' times. No one will expect you to be the life of the party, so make sure and take time outs when ever you need. Come here, go to AA, do what you need to bolster your sobriety. Make it your focus.
And guys, remember how strong and awesome you all are. What you are doing here is amazing and I have total belief in you.
Member
Join Date: May 2018
Posts: 8,762
I have already managed one boozy family get together not drinking, so hopefully I can do it again more easily this time.... I will stock up on plenty of alternatives, that’s the key I think. Make sure I always have a nonalcoholic drink on hand for toasts. And remind myself of where drinking would take me, play the tape forward to the inevitable conclusion (awful horrible hangover, racing heart, nausea, headache, shakiness, feeling so very ill, feelings of dread and despair and guilt, drinking again to cover it all up and the endless cycle of drink, hangover, drink is off and rolling again). Nope I don’t want to go back there again. Lots of yummy fizzy and nonalcoholic drinks will help me hold the fort of sobriety.
Member
Join Date: May 2018
Location: Where I’ve longed to be all my life…..here, now.
Posts: 7,342
Originally Posted by tootsl1 
Hope you all had a great Thanksgiving ( those who celebrate it!) it is strange doing the first holidays sober, as you are very much in recovery, fragile and vulnerable.
In the run up to Christmas it seems like every advert is for booze, every food proudly exclaims it's new alcohol addition ( Mince pies with Prosecco, gin flavoured sweeties ad nauseum) it gets to the point it actually harder to shop for and find anything not alcohol related! And your normie friends and relatives who usually look sideways at you for drinking at 11am, will merrily offer spiked eggnog, Sherry and other disgusting drinks that a year ago you would have slugged for the alcohol content alone.
There are specific threads here on how to avoid the worst, and offering support through the holidays. Use them. Come here, pm me if you want. Just don't let the 'season to be merry' become your reason to be merry ( and then drunk and then really not merry at all!!)
Begin you Christmas preparations early, fill your tool boxes. Visualisation is a strong tool, see yourself smiling, chatting, being serene etc with a glass of sober juice of your choice, in hand. Say no to those parties that would be too much temptation, or invent a toothache or infection that needs antibiotics, anything to avoid the outright coercion of the once a year bingers.
Willow I know this will be toughest on you sweetie, everything will remind you of happier christmases. Make sure to make time to be alone with your thoughts, but don't allow yourself to fall into wallowing, as it is a hard trap to climb out of. Seek happy distraction to make new memories. Have the Christmas your parents would wish you to enjoy.
And remember folks, the run in from now will be incessant, but the day itself is just 24 hours long. Don't let that hijack your sobriety.
In the run up to Christmas it seems like every advert is for booze, every food proudly exclaims it's new alcohol addition ( Mince pies with Prosecco, gin flavoured sweeties ad nauseum) it gets to the point it actually harder to shop for and find anything not alcohol related! And your normie friends and relatives who usually look sideways at you for drinking at 11am, will merrily offer spiked eggnog, Sherry and other disgusting drinks that a year ago you would have slugged for the alcohol content alone.
There are specific threads here on how to avoid the worst, and offering support through the holidays. Use them. Come here, pm me if you want. Just don't let the 'season to be merry' become your reason to be merry ( and then drunk and then really not merry at all!!)
Begin you Christmas preparations early, fill your tool boxes. Visualisation is a strong tool, see yourself smiling, chatting, being serene etc with a glass of sober juice of your choice, in hand. Say no to those parties that would be too much temptation, or invent a toothache or infection that needs antibiotics, anything to avoid the outright coercion of the once a year bingers.
Willow I know this will be toughest on you sweetie, everything will remind you of happier christmases. Make sure to make time to be alone with your thoughts, but don't allow yourself to fall into wallowing, as it is a hard trap to climb out of. Seek happy distraction to make new memories. Have the Christmas your parents would wish you to enjoy.
And remember folks, the run in from now will be incessant, but the day itself is just 24 hours long. Don't let that hijack your sobriety.
Member
Join Date: May 2018
Location: Where I’ve longed to be all my life…..here, now.
Posts: 7,342
It’s been a few weeks but popping my head back in here again. I made reservations to go to Florida from December 7 to the 14th. My alcoholic sister and her alcoholic husband live down there, and so does a friend of mine about two hours from them was not an alcoholic. I plan to do a little bit of interviewing if I can get one and a little R&R from the cold winter up here.
I think I’ll be doing a lot of walking at my sisters house, and for sure tarts if I need to I will text you or PM you if I feel AV Trying to stick its face in mine.
Getting a snowstorm so I’m actually stuck at my boyfriends house for another day instead of having some alone time and going to the gym. He did buy me a nice fiction book to read, and I’m going to try to enjoy it but for everything I need to read I need to hold up in the air because I can’t Look down
Must get on that gratitude and be a little bit more positive.
Good to see you here John and Captain, we rock it don’t we? All of us here!
I think I’ll be doing a lot of walking at my sisters house, and for sure tarts if I need to I will text you or PM you if I feel AV Trying to stick its face in mine.
Getting a snowstorm so I’m actually stuck at my boyfriends house for another day instead of having some alone time and going to the gym. He did buy me a nice fiction book to read, and I’m going to try to enjoy it but for everything I need to read I need to hold up in the air because I can’t Look down
Must get on that gratitude and be a little bit more positive.
Good to see you here John and Captain, we rock it don’t we? All of us here!
Member
Join Date: Oct 2016
Location: South Africa
Posts: 1,536
Thanks for the wise words, Toots. Good luck with your house hunting! I hope you are planning on staying in your local area, which always sounds idyllic to me.
I will also have to deal with drinking situations during the upcoming holidays, although it will not involve anyone who drinks alcoholically (that is unless I myself somehow get caught off guard
). But as you‘ve said Willow, that’s one place I never want to go back to.
Good to see you around, Purps, John, Geuner and Free2bme!
I will also have to deal with drinking situations during the upcoming holidays, although it will not involve anyone who drinks alcoholically (that is unless I myself somehow get caught off guard
). But as you‘ve said Willow, that’s one place I never want to go back to. Good to see you around, Purps, John, Geuner and Free2bme!
Living and Loving Life at Last
Join Date: Aug 2012
Location: gods own country
Posts: 12,169
Captain, it is lovely round here. Ideally we'd stay this side of the water, but houses coming up sell really fast. We saw two possible at the weekend, and seeing another today. It's going to be a really busy time for me over the next 2 months, and I know that being the drunk I was at the end of my drinking days, I would not have coped at all.
It sounds like you guys are making the right kind of forward planning, and yes Willow, playing the tape forward is another great tool.
Also maybe keep a print out of your desperate early posts as a reminder of how far you all have come and how much you want and -yes- need your sobriety.
One final thing to keep in mind, sometimes with all the forward planning, we sail through the hard part, only to get hijacked by AV the moment we relax, so don't let your guard down for a second!
Kids enjoy Christmas without a drink, they see the magic of the season. Get down on the floor with them, play with their toys, remember your magic. It'll keep you from the bottles and win you the gratitude of stressed parents!
It sounds like you guys are making the right kind of forward planning, and yes Willow, playing the tape forward is another great tool.
Also maybe keep a print out of your desperate early posts as a reminder of how far you all have come and how much you want and -yes- need your sobriety.
One final thing to keep in mind, sometimes with all the forward planning, we sail through the hard part, only to get hijacked by AV the moment we relax, so don't let your guard down for a second!
Kids enjoy Christmas without a drink, they see the magic of the season. Get down on the floor with them, play with their toys, remember your magic. It'll keep you from the bottles and win you the gratitude of stressed parents!
Member
Join Date: May 2018
Posts: 8,762
Great pics Free, we’re in an extreme heatwave here, it’s about 43 each day and soooo humid (104.9 apparently), breaking 60 year temperature records. The poor bats have been dying and falling out of trees in the hundreds due to the heat . Also scary out of control bushfires burning, the vegetation is so dry. I hope it rains buckets soon and drops about 10C. Meanwhile I’m going for a swim in our pool, the only pleasant place to be at the moment. Happy Wednesday everyone. 
Living and Loving Life at Last
Join Date: Aug 2012
Location: gods own country
Posts: 12,169
Oh Willow,, I would send some of our cold dreich weather if I could, I am so sick of this rainy windy damp weather. You don't feel like going anywhere or doing anything when it's like this!
Member
Join Date: Jul 2017
Posts: 426
Hi
Managed 6 months - still a bit depressed - but not drinking
If I started drinking it would be great for a day or a few days - then the horror would begin
I'm too old for the stop-start cycle - it does (me) serious brain damage ... and it is such a long hard road to get the post-acute-withdrawal syndrome (PAWS) to start easing
Anyway, enough uplifting fun and jolliness from me .. well done if you lasted another day
(I don't post here that often now because I forget about drinking / not drinking for quite long periods - but boy-oh-boy when the urge to drink comes, it is staggering - worse than acute detox I think, but it only lasts for a very short period)
Days can be up or down - but I can feel the trend is towards peace and maybe even happiness
God bless :-)
Managed 6 months - still a bit depressed - but not drinking
If I started drinking it would be great for a day or a few days - then the horror would begin
I'm too old for the stop-start cycle - it does (me) serious brain damage ... and it is such a long hard road to get the post-acute-withdrawal syndrome (PAWS) to start easing
Anyway, enough uplifting fun and jolliness from me .. well done if you lasted another day
(I don't post here that often now because I forget about drinking / not drinking for quite long periods - but boy-oh-boy when the urge to drink comes, it is staggering - worse than acute detox I think, but it only lasts for a very short period)
Days can be up or down - but I can feel the trend is towards peace and maybe even happiness
God bless :-)
Living and Loving Life at Last
Join Date: Aug 2012
Location: gods own country
Posts: 12,169
Well done on 6 months, Red! Are you doing something to replace the drinking? Hobbies you enjoy? If the depression is down to a feeling of 'what next', it's natural, drinking took up so much of our lives that without it we are a little lost the first year or so. If it might be local, there is no shame in talking to someone and be getting some medical help to get out of the dark places your mind can go. I have struggled with depression on and off, realising after quitting, how much I self medicated. Also these fact I didn't deal with emotional situations in the past meant I had a backlog of them queuing up to be considered when I did stop drinking. I got a prescription medication with my doctors support, and when. The twine came, he helped me wean off them too. It didn't mean I was weak, it meant I was strong enough to acknowledge I couldn't come without a little help
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