Class Of March 2018 Support Thread - Part 4
Member
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: GA
Posts: 700
God, Plenny I love that. Tattoos can be a release for sure and i love the meaning behind the hornets. I'm glad you posted, I caught up on the 24hr and was wondering how this evening was going for you. I am glad the nap helped the storm passed and the skies cleared to a baking epiphany. Sounds heavenly.
I don't know what to say about DJTM. On one hand I feel like he needs to be there to support you in a fuller capacity but I also understand he has his own mental health issues and perhaps alcohol abuse disorder to deal with. I hope he can learn to get on the balance beam with you and find a comfortable rhythm of being there for each other and proper space and boundaries, that works for both of you.
I am wide awake because I attempted a dumb hike today. 0.2 miles in I found myself in a overgrown wildlife clearing. I tried to bypass it but it one corner it came to a bee house community so I had to walk through the center of it which had this long sticky grass everywhere. It shredded my legs. They feel like they are on fire. I had to backtrack through the river that bordered it. Fun day lol. They can't all be winners I guess
I don't know what to say about DJTM. On one hand I feel like he needs to be there to support you in a fuller capacity but I also understand he has his own mental health issues and perhaps alcohol abuse disorder to deal with. I hope he can learn to get on the balance beam with you and find a comfortable rhythm of being there for each other and proper space and boundaries, that works for both of you.
I am wide awake because I attempted a dumb hike today. 0.2 miles in I found myself in a overgrown wildlife clearing. I tried to bypass it but it one corner it came to a bee house community so I had to walk through the center of it which had this long sticky grass everywhere. It shredded my legs. They feel like they are on fire. I had to backtrack through the river that bordered it. Fun day lol. They can't all be winners I guess
Member
Join Date: Jul 2013
Posts: 2,747
Yeah. He's not equipped for all this delicious depression and unprecedented family trash. Unfortunately I need a much more nurturing reaction than his. However, HIS family is wacko too. And it's likely he'll at the very least NOT leave me like everyone else did. Don't worry that's not what I'm looking for in a guy and he's still in the doghouse. I realize this sounds very silly but I'm just trying to keep it real. We need work. We have serious termite damage.
Thanks for thinking of me. I'm sorry about your bunk hike. Yikes! Sticky razor grass!! Can you use aloe?
Thanks for thinking of me. I'm sorry about your bunk hike. Yikes! Sticky razor grass!! Can you use aloe?
Member
Join Date: Sep 2017
Location: East Coast US
Posts: 1,835
Good Morning - only have a few minutes before getting in the car to head up to my family's for the long weekend.
GBE - your leg scratches sound horrible - I hope they clear up soon! Take care of that!
Plenny - when reading your post, a (self help) book that I read many many years ago came to my mind. It's an old one, but maybe one you might find helpful. It's called "Women Who Love Too Much" and it is about women who keep wishing and hoping their significant others will change and how to start to let go of trying to control their behavior and just work on changing yourself and your reactions. You can probably find it on Amazon or at your local library. I actually just put a copy on hold at my library to re-read it.
I think I am over my cheddar cheese popcorn addiction. My GI tract has settled down. Wish the alcohol addiciton was as easy, right?
Well, everyone have a good weekend. I won't be checking in much, but know that I am thinking of you and "lurking" if I can. Lucky for me, no one drinks in my family, so no worries about dealing with urges or cravings because it won't even be around. (How did I escape THAT gene?)
GBE - your leg scratches sound horrible - I hope they clear up soon! Take care of that!
Plenny - when reading your post, a (self help) book that I read many many years ago came to my mind. It's an old one, but maybe one you might find helpful. It's called "Women Who Love Too Much" and it is about women who keep wishing and hoping their significant others will change and how to start to let go of trying to control their behavior and just work on changing yourself and your reactions. You can probably find it on Amazon or at your local library. I actually just put a copy on hold at my library to re-read it.
I think I am over my cheddar cheese popcorn addiction. My GI tract has settled down. Wish the alcohol addiciton was as easy, right?
Well, everyone have a good weekend. I won't be checking in much, but know that I am thinking of you and "lurking" if I can. Lucky for me, no one drinks in my family, so no worries about dealing with urges or cravings because it won't even be around. (How did I escape THAT gene?)
Member
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: GA
Posts: 700
Originally Posted by Plenny 
Yeah. He's not equipped for all this delicious depression and unprecedented family trash. Unfortunately I need a much more nurturing reaction than his. However, HIS family is wacko too. And it's likely he'll at the very least NOT leave me like everyone else did. Don't worry that's not what I'm looking for in a guy and he's still in the doghouse. I realize this sounds very silly but I'm just trying to keep it real. We need work. We have serious termite damage.
Thanks for thinking of me. I'm sorry about your bunk hike. Yikes! Sticky razor grass!! Can you use aloe?
Thanks for thinking of me. I'm sorry about your bunk hike. Yikes! Sticky razor grass!! Can you use aloe?
Glad that's not what you're looking for. In fact it's hardly worth mentioning because I'd wager you could find many many men who would be happy to stay with you long term. We just need them to be supportive and loving as well as loyal. There's no harm in work. All beautiful things take work.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: GA
Posts: 700
Originally Posted by LoveHateWhine
Good Morning - only have a few minutes before getting in the car to head up to my family's for the long weekend.
GBE - your leg scratches sound horrible - I hope they clear up soon! Take care of that!
Plenny - when reading your post, a (self help) book that I read many many years ago came to my mind. It's an old one, but maybe one you might find helpful. It's called "Women Who Love Too Much" and it is about women who keep wishing and hoping their significant others will change and how to start to let go of trying to control their behavior and just work on changing yourself and your reactions. You can probably find it on Amazon or at your local library. I actually just put a copy on hold at my library to re-read it.
I think I am over my cheddar cheese popcorn addiction. My GI tract has settled down. Wish the alcohol addiciton was as easy, right?
Well, everyone have a good weekend. I won't be checking in much, but know that I am thinking of you and "lurking" if I can. Lucky for me, no one drinks in my family, so no worries about dealing with urges or cravings because it won't even be around. (How did I escape THAT gene?)
GBE - your leg scratches sound horrible - I hope they clear up soon! Take care of that!
Plenny - when reading your post, a (self help) book that I read many many years ago came to my mind. It's an old one, but maybe one you might find helpful. It's called "Women Who Love Too Much" and it is about women who keep wishing and hoping their significant others will change and how to start to let go of trying to control their behavior and just work on changing yourself and your reactions. You can probably find it on Amazon or at your local library. I actually just put a copy on hold at my library to re-read it.
I think I am over my cheddar cheese popcorn addiction. My GI tract has settled down. Wish the alcohol addiciton was as easy, right?
Well, everyone have a good weekend. I won't be checking in much, but know that I am thinking of you and "lurking" if I can. Lucky for me, no one drinks in my family, so no worries about dealing with urges or cravings because it won't even be around. (How did I escape THAT gene?)
Member
Join Date: Jul 2013
Posts: 2,747
Woohoo!! That Is amazing! I think about my six months all the time. It's sort of like one day at a time plus my longer term personal goals are six months at a time. Big hugs to your BF!! That really is a big accomplishment
Member
Join Date: Jul 2013
Posts: 2,747
Hey y'all. Just musing about some things today. DJTM woke up feeling hopeful again, talking about goals to go back to school and/or changes in work. He is stuck in a real transition. Still stresses me out. Anyway I am not going to obsess about it today. I have other things on my plate.
I'm thinking about a few friends of mine. Two of them are in a relationship together. HE started going to AA about two years ago. SHE continued drinking but supported him and started going to AlAnon. A year into his sobriety he told her that he had actually not been sober, he had been secretly drinking the whole time, lying to the group and to his sponsor, and he was coming out and starting for real. Then one sober year later, he proposed to her. They began planning a big wedding and boom, this week he ended the engagement. He told her it was partly because his first sponsor had pressured him to propose. And partly because of her drinking. Then he brought her a pitcher of margaritas as a peace offering. She is not speaking to him and is totally confused. They still live together. I think she and I are going to start going to AlAnon together.
The third person is a friend of DJTM's. I met him at a wedding last year and we bonded. He got sober just after the wedding and that was almost a year ago. He keeps posting things on instagram saying he misses drinking and having fun. I want to reach out to him and say that I understand and maybe finally tell him I'm sober 2-3 months (psychologically I only feel the days I've counted which I think is 43, I was very angry and coveted alcohol and I didn't feel sober for the first part). I don't know. I feel like I should reach out and support him but I don't know him that well, maybe not?
Anyway, I'm hitting the desk today, and I'm very happy to do it. I am shaking off the deep depression of last week.
I'm thinking about a few friends of mine. Two of them are in a relationship together. HE started going to AA about two years ago. SHE continued drinking but supported him and started going to AlAnon. A year into his sobriety he told her that he had actually not been sober, he had been secretly drinking the whole time, lying to the group and to his sponsor, and he was coming out and starting for real. Then one sober year later, he proposed to her. They began planning a big wedding and boom, this week he ended the engagement. He told her it was partly because his first sponsor had pressured him to propose. And partly because of her drinking. Then he brought her a pitcher of margaritas as a peace offering. She is not speaking to him and is totally confused. They still live together. I think she and I are going to start going to AlAnon together.
The third person is a friend of DJTM's. I met him at a wedding last year and we bonded. He got sober just after the wedding and that was almost a year ago. He keeps posting things on instagram saying he misses drinking and having fun. I want to reach out to him and say that I understand and maybe finally tell him I'm sober 2-3 months (psychologically I only feel the days I've counted which I think is 43, I was very angry and coveted alcohol and I didn't feel sober for the first part). I don't know. I feel like I should reach out and support him but I don't know him that well, maybe not?
Anyway, I'm hitting the desk today, and I'm very happy to do it. I am shaking off the deep depression of last week.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2017
Location: East Coast US
Posts: 1,835
Hi gang.
I had a relapse yesterday and there were some consequences of my actions having to do with a very good friend of many years. Nothing bad, no one is hurt or anything like that, just some words exchanged that I can't easily take back right now. I was drunk when I said them, it was on the phone, so not sure if he knew I was drunk or not. Doesn't matter.
I won't go into the details of the day and what happened, but I have finally realized I need professional help. I'm tired of all of this. It's been so many years with so little long term success. I try to remain positive and upbeat, but it's hard. I feel very bad about myself. I have contacted my healthcare provider and am getting a recommendation for an addictions counselor in my area. Everything I have tried up to this point has not worked for me, at least not permanently. I have lots of tools and I just ignore them. Anyway...
I'll still check in here to see how you are all doing, maybe I will join the August group too. I will think about it. For now, I am dealing with the day after shame, guilt, feeling worthless and all that stuff I think you are all familiar with.
I hope this is my final Day 1. I have to say, I so sick of saying that too. How many times have I said this is the "final" Day 1. Far too many. I read on another site to not say the word "hope", it should be "decided". We'll see.
LHW
I had a relapse yesterday and there were some consequences of my actions having to do with a very good friend of many years. Nothing bad, no one is hurt or anything like that, just some words exchanged that I can't easily take back right now. I was drunk when I said them, it was on the phone, so not sure if he knew I was drunk or not. Doesn't matter.
I won't go into the details of the day and what happened, but I have finally realized I need professional help. I'm tired of all of this. It's been so many years with so little long term success. I try to remain positive and upbeat, but it's hard. I feel very bad about myself. I have contacted my healthcare provider and am getting a recommendation for an addictions counselor in my area. Everything I have tried up to this point has not worked for me, at least not permanently. I have lots of tools and I just ignore them. Anyway...
I'll still check in here to see how you are all doing, maybe I will join the August group too. I will think about it. For now, I am dealing with the day after shame, guilt, feeling worthless and all that stuff I think you are all familiar with.
I hope this is my final Day 1. I have to say, I so sick of saying that too. How many times have I said this is the "final" Day 1. Far too many. I read on another site to not say the word "hope", it should be "decided". We'll see.
LHW
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,460
I'm glad you're thinking about taking the fight to the next level.
As for SR, I think peer support and professional help can be complimentary LHW - why fight with only one hand?
D
As for SR, I think peer support and professional help can be complimentary LHW - why fight with only one hand?
D
Member
Join Date: Sep 2017
Location: East Coast US
Posts: 1,835
Hi Dee, and thanks so much for the kind words.
I didn't mean I was not going to use SR at all, I meant that I was still going to stay part of the March group and continute to check in from time to time as I do now, but not have the March group be my ONLY SR connection. As we all know, we are a small group here now and early on we need an active forum, at least I do. Maybe join August, maybe join the 24 hour thread, I have done the weekend threads from time to time. Just need to step it up more than I have been.
I'm still in the throes of the "day after" depression. It will subside in a few days, I sure have the past experience to know that.
LHW
I didn't mean I was not going to use SR at all, I meant that I was still going to stay part of the March group and continute to check in from time to time as I do now, but not have the March group be my ONLY SR connection. As we all know, we are a small group here now and early on we need an active forum, at least I do. Maybe join August, maybe join the 24 hour thread, I have done the weekend threads from time to time. Just need to step it up more than I have been.
I'm still in the throes of the "day after" depression. It will subside in a few days, I sure have the past experience to know that.
LHW
Member
Join Date: Jul 2013
Posts: 2,747
Ooooof. Yes I totally understand LHW. I hope you'll stay in touch with us. I'm finding that the combination of SR, AA, and therapy are a good combination. I've slipped down that slope many times. I'm sorry you have the guilt and residual feelings from your conversation. I clap my hand to my forehead in solidarity because sometimes I can't believe the things that came out of my mouth.
Good luck with the addictions counselor, please keep us updated
Good luck with the addictions counselor, please keep us updated
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