Ooooof. Yes I totally understand LHW. I hope you'll stay in touch with us. I'm finding that the combination of SR, AA, and therapy are a good combination. I've slipped down that slope many times. I'm sorry you have the guilt and residual feelings from your conversation. I clap my hand to my forehead in solidarity because sometimes I can't believe the things that came out of my mouth.
Good luck with the addictions counselor, please keep us updated