Class of March 2013 Part 53
Member
Join Date: Mar 2013
Posts: 4,672
this is the second time of writing this. I keep loosing my post. grrrr.
I was over again at my MIL cleaning out stuff--and in the laundry room in the cupboard I also found the booze---OMG ! ! I wanted that bottle of Vodka and all I could think was I needed to stick that in my purse for later. I'm obsessed with that thought. My hubby didn't even want it. I stared and stared at it. I'm glad I'm home and that I wasn't alone at the time. I'm pretty sure I would have taken the cap off and drank a sip. Ohhh lord, what the heck was that all about?
it made me pretty crabby too. I picked a fight on the way home on purpose. Ok--I'm done now. Just had to tell the truth.
Babs
I was over again at my MIL cleaning out stuff--and in the laundry room in the cupboard I also found the booze---OMG ! ! I wanted that bottle of Vodka and all I could think was I needed to stick that in my purse for later. I'm obsessed with that thought. My hubby didn't even want it. I stared and stared at it. I'm glad I'm home and that I wasn't alone at the time. I'm pretty sure I would have taken the cap off and drank a sip. Ohhh lord, what the heck was that all about?
it made me pretty crabby too. I picked a fight on the way home on purpose. Ok--I'm done now. Just had to tell the truth.
Babs
Guest
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: Ashburn, VA
Posts: 30,196
Thank you for being honest, Babs. I’m not surprised the AV attacked you right now: you’ve been under a lot of emotional strain lately, being the strong, dignified, and sane one in that family vultures’ nest!
That bottle came out of nowhere and took you totally by surprise—but your HP had your back, making sure you weren’t alone at your weak moment.
I always find with temptations the the second I get the secret off my chest they totally lose their power.
That bottle came out of nowhere and took you totally by surprise—but your HP had your back, making sure you weren’t alone at your weak moment.
I always find with temptations the the second I get the secret off my chest they totally lose their power.
Living and Loving Life at Last
Join Date: Aug 2012
Location: gods own country
Posts: 12,169
Babs, well done on resisting temptation, and totally second everything Gilmer said. I also understand why you would pick a fight with hubby, he is able to choose whether to take the drink or not ( whether he has issues or not with drinking, he still does drink).
But remember, you get to choose also. You just choose sobriety because you know that alcohol literally and metaphorically poisons your life. So you made a choice yesterday, and you made the right choice for you. But like the two year old inside you having a wee tantrum, you wanted to stamp your foot at having to do the right thing. You get past that, we all do, and each time there is less strengh in our feelings, and less power in the AV. Find a way to be extra kind to yourself today as reward, you totally deserve it. X
But remember, you get to choose also. You just choose sobriety because you know that alcohol literally and metaphorically poisons your life. So you made a choice yesterday, and you made the right choice for you. But like the two year old inside you having a wee tantrum, you wanted to stamp your foot at having to do the right thing. You get past that, we all do, and each time there is less strengh in our feelings, and less power in the AV. Find a way to be extra kind to yourself today as reward, you totally deserve it. X
Member
Join Date: May 2012
Location: US East Coast
Posts: 14,287
Babs, I second and third what Gilmer and Toots said so well! In addition, i know it is a very stressful situation when cleaning out our parent’s home (or in-laws in this case). The emotions can be overwhelming. The contrast between death and then dealing with who wants what is emotionally draining. 
Marchia in Aeternum
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: Georgia
Posts: 11,094
Originally Posted by tootsl1 
But remember, you get to choose also. You just choose sobriety because you know that alcohol literally and metaphorically poisons your life. So you made a choice yesterday, and you made the right choice for you. But like the two year old inside you having a wee tantrum, you wanted to stamp your foot at having to do the right thing. You get past that, we all do, and each time there is less strengh in our feelings, and less power in the AV. Find a way to be extra kind to yourself today as reward, you totally deserve it. X
Marchia in Aeternum
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: Georgia
Posts: 11,094
Well, man plans and God laughs.
I wanted a good night sleep. So, I turned off the TV and lights about 9:30 and went to bed. The room was cool and dark and I fell into a deep sleep pretty quickly.
Then I woke up at 3 AM. And 3:30, AND 4.
Gonna be a long day.
I wanted a good night sleep. So, I turned off the TV and lights about 9:30 and went to bed. The room was cool and dark and I fell into a deep sleep pretty quickly.
Then I woke up at 3 AM. And 3:30, AND 4.
Gonna be a long day.
Guest
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: Ashburn, VA
Posts: 30,196
I do that often, too—but I just love being awake in the wee hours before dawn, when everything is dark and dead silent.
I get so much work done when I wake up unusually like that.
I get an exhilarated “magic feeling,” like I’m getting away with some secret stunt—but completely above board!
I get so much work done when I wake up unusually like that.
I get an exhilarated “magic feeling,” like I’m getting away with some secret stunt—but completely above board!
Member
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: Florida
Posts: 1,733
Me too, Trach. But I know the reason why I was up at those hours. I once again have to take this to the families forums but oh my heart is so heavy today! My ex has been an alcoholic since I've known him and that is one of the things that drew me to him, we liked to drink! But when I was pregnant and then finally sober I started really seeing it and it is bad. Like stumbling, slurring words, bumping into things, falling down stairs. On top of that theres a prescription sleeping pill addiction but the alcohol is the obvious one.
It's no longer my problem, right? Who cares if he drinks himself into a coma, but here's the thing, it is my problem bc he has my kids half the time.
Talk about denial! He's actually been doing ok with the kids, getting them to school on time, homework done, taking them to sports, etc. that I actually thought that he had gotten it together enough and may possibly wasn't drinking when he had them. Ugh! How stupid am I. There were signs, there's always signs. But I was so hopeful, for their sake. I want them to have an involved father!
Then I start getting texts, about what an "absolute mess" he is, people are seeing him at local bars and being "sloppy" drunk. The texts are bad but I just ran into an acquaintance who works at one of the bars and she told me how bad it really is.
There is nothing I can do anyway, which is so frustrating, unless he is caught in the act. Like if he sends me a drunken text when he has the kids and I call the cops to do a well check, or the obvious DUIs, etc. Right now it is all heresay.
Still, my question to you all is do you think it is possible to be that level of an alcoholic half the time and not be a sloppy, drink by yourself at home, fall down drunk the other half of the time? Or is that my denial kicking in again??
It's no longer my problem, right? Who cares if he drinks himself into a coma, but here's the thing, it is my problem bc he has my kids half the time.
Talk about denial! He's actually been doing ok with the kids, getting them to school on time, homework done, taking them to sports, etc. that I actually thought that he had gotten it together enough and may possibly wasn't drinking when he had them. Ugh! How stupid am I. There were signs, there's always signs. But I was so hopeful, for their sake. I want them to have an involved father!
Then I start getting texts, about what an "absolute mess" he is, people are seeing him at local bars and being "sloppy" drunk. The texts are bad but I just ran into an acquaintance who works at one of the bars and she told me how bad it really is.
There is nothing I can do anyway, which is so frustrating, unless he is caught in the act. Like if he sends me a drunken text when he has the kids and I call the cops to do a well check, or the obvious DUIs, etc. Right now it is all heresay.
Still, my question to you all is do you think it is possible to be that level of an alcoholic half the time and not be a sloppy, drink by yourself at home, fall down drunk the other half of the time? Or is that my denial kicking in again??
Guest
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: Ashburn, VA
Posts: 30,196
Oh, Duff! I’m so sorry!
It is possible that he could force himself to be on his best behavior when he has the kids—it’s a set amount of time which he knows will have an endpoint after which he can comfortably go back to drinking.
I’m sure he loves them and is doing his best to be a good dad.
But I will pray that, if he really is negligent, things somehow come to a head soon and you get the proof you need—but with no harm actually to the boys.
It is possible that he could force himself to be on his best behavior when he has the kids—it’s a set amount of time which he knows will have an endpoint after which he can comfortably go back to drinking.
I’m sure he loves them and is doing his best to be a good dad.
But I will pray that, if he really is negligent, things somehow come to a head soon and you get the proof you need—but with no harm actually to the boys.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: Florida
Posts: 1,733
Oh Gilmer, he does love them very much. That was my hope, that he could hold it together for a certain amount of time but this disease, I just don't know if it works like that.
I'm getting myself so worked up and catastrophising (surprise surprise) the situation. I really am fearful that they will find him one day, either not able to wake up or at the bottom of the stairs. Mixing the booze and sleeping pills, ugh!
I'm getting myself so worked up and catastrophising (surprise surprise) the situation. I really am fearful that they will find him one day, either not able to wake up or at the bottom of the stairs. Mixing the booze and sleeping pills, ugh!
Member
Join Date: Mar 2013
Posts: 4,672
First of all thank you again. I did get through the bottle showing up. and Yes, I was sooo tempted to drink it and thought about it a long time. I even thought as my hubby was having his usual drinks at night that I could sip and he would not even know. What good would that do me? I've worked to hard to get where I am at right now and that bottle isn't going to wreck it. thanks for the support.
Enough of me.
(((Duff))) Stay close. this group is amazing.
Hugs to all of you.
Babs
Enough of me.
(((Duff))) Stay close. this group is amazing.
Hugs to all of you.
Babs
Member
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: Rogersville, Tennessee
Posts: 2,659
Originally Posted by Duffster
Still, my question to you all is do you think it is possible to be that level of an alcoholic half the time and not be a sloppy, drink by yourself at home, fall down drunk the other half of the time? Or is that my denial kicking in again??
Administrator
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,454
I do know guys who never drink when their kids are there and then go berserk other times, so it is possible.
But I also know guys who can't do that even for their kids.
I hope Mr ex Duff is the former.
D
But I also know guys who can't do that even for their kids.
I hope Mr ex Duff is the former.
D
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
