Dee74

Sounds like a great spot RG

D

Viperidae

**Screw up**

Not cool.

axeman5971

Oh no. Relapse?

Dee74

You were sounding good Vipe.
Whatever happened you're among friends here

D

Viperidae

I'm not sure how it happened. Frustrated with slow progress and health. I don't know. Progress was being made though. Every drink is a vote for the status quo, and I vote for a brighter future.

I'm back on the horse and serious. No 'woe is me here.' Only 'Move Forward.'

Life coach Saturday.

V

Viperidae

Ok so now I'm in 'woe is me mode.' Defeated, frustrated, sad. Bad anxiety.

Dee74

Try and not get bogged down Viper - impatience is one of the things I had to work through too

I wanted 40 years of stuff to be sorted instantly and it really can't work that way...

you were doing great...you can do great again - don't give any time over to wallowing - pick up the strands of your life and recovery and keep moving forward

D.

axeman5971

Vipe - are you going to meetings? Do you have a home group or sponsor? Working the steps might be helpful. I know I tried doctors and things not named AA or rehab for years before admitting that I needed specific help for my drinking problem. I hit 3 meetings this week in addition to 3 nights of treatment. My goal for the next two weeks is a temporary sponsor and choice of home group.

Is treatment an option? It seems like you have he gift of time. I know the life coach has costs, and you have made the trip to Boston. Is that more than the cost of treatment - IOP of some sort? With my insurance, I only have like $300 out of pocket for the whole program.

I want to see you succeed!

axeman5971

What happened in those three hours from no woe to expressing woe?

rascalwhiteoak

Vipe, whatever happened, you can regain that momentum.

Viperidae

Rascal thank you, I can and will regain the momentum. I'm on it. I guess a hangover and anxiety set in, in the 3 hours Axe.

I don't have private insurance that would pay for anything halfway not a total sh.t show for IOP. I've been multiple times. Also it appears I will never feel anything for AA. I know it works for others.

When it comes down to it, it's up to me. Thankfully I haven't broken anything so bad that a a few days won't bring me back. The last 45 days did build me up.

Thanks everyone, I'll post straight away tomorrow.

V

Viperidae

The allergies came back like gangbusters. I forgot about that. I'm somewhat stiff and so forth. I'd love to go up to Boston again but it adds up. The life coach prefers Saturday morning and it's a 120 miles from here. I can usually get a nice room for $125, gas is $40, and tolls (yes, MA uses toll roads, which are now robot camera systems), probably another $14. That's up to $180 bucks and the $50 for the session. If we round up for ancillary expenses just going up there overnight twice a month is $400. Even at REI that buys 4 or 5 pieces of nice clotheing. Or that's 3- 4 visits to my Functional Medicine APRN. Whatever... I think I'll try Skype!!!!!

Talk later

Viper.

Viperidae

Ok so Apple FaceTime is set for 10a.m. with the coach. Glad we're both Apple people. Makes it easy.

My god I feel like garbage today. It's time to stop p-footing around and dive into a full on auto immune anti inflammatory diet. The game is over. It's get busy livin' or get busy dyin' time. I have to do it!!

I'm watching this 'Shutter Island' with Leonardo Dicaprio. I never knew about this film. It's intense. DiCaprio is always good.

Ok well I'll check in later or tomorrow.

Vipe

axeman5971

I wouldn't judge treatment programs too harshly. I am not going to that Passages Malibu or some Intervention style retreat program. I am at a pretty regular rehab. I am doing group with heroin addicts, crack smokers, folks who have been to prison, multiple DUIs, divorces, etc. The guy who helped me out most just coined out, but he was fresh out of a 4 year prison term for robbing a pharmacy. He was a great guy that got sick with addiction and is now recovering and helping others.

What **** show are you describing? What are you worried about?

It's sometimes hard for me to understand and empahize with you because you can be vague or up and down at times. I definitely want you to succeed, though.

Viperidae

Axe you're right. I'm cynical. And up and down. That's similar to the situation I was in. I met some really great people in there and I didn't care what they'd done, There's no need for me to disparage it anymore.

This is the exact reason I did not mention my experience or opinions about this too much, before you went. I didnt want to discourage you in any way. Thankfully it's worked well for you.

Maybe I just don't think I'll get anything out if it. I've done so much therapy and 3 IOPs. It's put up or shut up time for me. I'm sorry to harp on the physical issues but they are dragging me down. I'm not sure you guys know the extent of it. I don't want to whine and explain what I'm going through.

Thanks for the well wishes and I hope you succeed too. I have a feeling you will.

V

axeman5971

If you've done it and can speak from your experience, I am good with that.

Good luck! I really want to hit your 45. That's still a victory.

canguy

well vipe....if you want to get back on for another go, I'll join you.
Have been trying the weekends only thing.....and it don't really work.

45 days was great. You can do it now.

later

Dee74

welcoem back canguy

D

Viperidae

Canguy I'm back! Join me!

Viper

axeman5971

4 weeks tomorrow