I Will Not Drink/Use Today Part 3
Member
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: PA and Florida
Posts: 4,189
Hey, Cour...congrats on making it through your seasonal rough patch. A second kudos for the rigorous honesty about the Nyquil stuff.
It would probably be a good idea to discuss that with someone in recovery. However, I'm not sure that person needs to be a sponsor? I've used a few different mentors to help me through difficult times.
I bet you have a phone number or two in that rolodex.
It would probably be a good idea to discuss that with someone in recovery. However, I'm not sure that person needs to be a sponsor? I've used a few different mentors to help me through difficult times.
I bet you have a phone number or two in that rolodex.
Administrator
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,609
The current month is always in the main Newcomers forum Sober - here' tis:
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...rt-2-a-11.html
D
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...rt-2-a-11.html
D
p***enger
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: NYC
Posts: 19,075
Originally Posted by Sober81 
Could someone please point me in the dirrection of the Jan 2017 thread? I cant find it 
Administrator
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,609
Courage it's not about Nyquil as I see it.
I dunno what to call it - the thrill of sailing close to the edge, the frisson of 'being bad', self sabotage, or just the 'eff its'...
but I reckon it's still the AV flexing it's muscles.
It's good it didn't lead to anything but - as your friend and someone who cares for you - it's not ok.
I hope you'll talk to someone. We selfishly want you here with us
D
I dunno what to call it - the thrill of sailing close to the edge, the frisson of 'being bad', self sabotage, or just the 'eff its'...
but I reckon it's still the AV flexing it's muscles.
It's good it didn't lead to anything but - as your friend and someone who cares for you - it's not ok.
I hope you'll talk to someone. We selfishly want you here with us
D
p***enger
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: NYC
Posts: 19,075
Thanks everyone for the support and advice. Maybe I'll tell my shrink next week.
Yes, one reason I tried Nyquil-drinking (lol widely known as one of the more pitiful relapse-waiting-to-happen signs) was to find out if I could get away with it. And for some of the old comfort -- not drunkenness, just the feel of having something to take, and the taste. You know? A cherry-flavored placebo effect in a tiny plastic cup. As much as I hate alcoholism and all that it brings, I still love liquor. Nothing replaces the hand and mouth feel of a drink -- not ice cream or coffee or spice. And it was conveniently in the house, husband having caught a cold and left town. I still don't resist solitude+alcohol in the apt.
Whatever, I'm not fantasizing about drug-store cocktails or anything of the other things I can get onto in a heartbeat.
Why would I want to sabotage my sobriety? Things are going terrifically well for me. I'm at peace at home, I actually have some human non-sexual relationships, my conscience as to my current actions is clear, I'm very productive, and I feel grateful and lucky. Felix laeta pulchra. Fortunate, joyful, and beautiful.
I guess life just seems too much sometimes. I was badly overstimulated before Christmas. I was jumbling words and couldn't write coherent sentences. A vulnerable time. Yes, I should have someone to talk to when I'm vulnerable to using, but I don't. And for now, I escaped unscathed, except for these warnings from you.
My husband says all a person needs is a good dentist and a competent shaman. I have a dentist.
On a happy note, the footprints on my ceiling are almost gone
One day at a time, but not today.
Yes, one reason I tried Nyquil-drinking (lol widely known as one of the more pitiful relapse-waiting-to-happen signs) was to find out if I could get away with it. And for some of the old comfort -- not drunkenness, just the feel of having something to take, and the taste. You know? A cherry-flavored placebo effect in a tiny plastic cup. As much as I hate alcoholism and all that it brings, I still love liquor. Nothing replaces the hand and mouth feel of a drink -- not ice cream or coffee or spice. And it was conveniently in the house, husband having caught a cold and left town. I still don't resist solitude+alcohol in the apt.
Whatever, I'm not fantasizing about drug-store cocktails or anything of the other things I can get onto in a heartbeat.
Why would I want to sabotage my sobriety? Things are going terrifically well for me. I'm at peace at home, I actually have some human non-sexual relationships, my conscience as to my current actions is clear, I'm very productive, and I feel grateful and lucky. Felix laeta pulchra. Fortunate, joyful, and beautiful.
I guess life just seems too much sometimes. I was badly overstimulated before Christmas. I was jumbling words and couldn't write coherent sentences. A vulnerable time. Yes, I should have someone to talk to when I'm vulnerable to using, but I don't. And for now, I escaped unscathed, except for these warnings from you.
My husband says all a person needs is a good dentist and a competent shaman. I have a dentist.
On a happy note, the footprints on my ceiling are almost gone
One day at a time, but not today.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,609
I'd hate you to feel 'scathed' by any thing I said.
I don't know what to suggest because I've thoroughly accepted life away from the edge. I don't miss being on the tightrope in cyclonic winds just to see if I could stay there.
I guess maybe I just value myself a little more these days - do you think maybe value might be at the bottom of your thing too Courage?
D
I don't know what to suggest because I've thoroughly accepted life away from the edge. I don't miss being on the tightrope in cyclonic winds just to see if I could stay there.
I guess maybe I just value myself a little more these days - do you think maybe value might be at the bottom of your thing too Courage?
D
Member
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: New England, USA
Posts: 3,960
Courage - Your honesty is why I value your sober fellowship so much. I think that "behaving alcoholically" is something I'll always battle. Some vices are safer in that they're less likely to lead to relapse than others. Sweetened Cajun popcorn might plump you up, but NyQuil swigging is a dangerous tightrope walk.
I know you know that. It's good to have a sounding board. My sponsor is a tremendous mentor through the 12 steps, but I don't share a ton with her. I have a small recovery brain trust though. It's a lifesaver for me. I also lay it all out here.
Bimini - Well said about maintaining boundaries when reaching out to others.
Carlos - When our brain trust rubs its remaining cells together we come up with some pretty good ideas, wouldn't you agree?
I'm itching to find out if the homeowner has accepted or rejected my bid. Patience is not my strong suit! When obsessive chatter tries to take over, I say the serenity prayer. I'll say it again and again to calm myself down. This morning I said it during most of my drive to work, stopping every so often to focus on the "thy will not mine be done" theme of the prayer. I recognized how it applies to this situation.
In any event, I'm glad to be home relaxing after a busy day, joyous, happy and substance free!
I know you know that. It's good to have a sounding board. My sponsor is a tremendous mentor through the 12 steps, but I don't share a ton with her. I have a small recovery brain trust though. It's a lifesaver for me. I also lay it all out here.
Bimini - Well said about maintaining boundaries when reaching out to others.
Carlos - When our brain trust rubs its remaining cells together we come up with some pretty good ideas, wouldn't you agree?
I'm itching to find out if the homeowner has accepted or rejected my bid. Patience is not my strong suit! When obsessive chatter tries to take over, I say the serenity prayer. I'll say it again and again to calm myself down. This morning I said it during most of my drive to work, stopping every so often to focus on the "thy will not mine be done" theme of the prayer. I recognized how it applies to this situation.
In any event, I'm glad to be home relaxing after a busy day, joyous, happy and substance free!
Member
Join Date: Nov 2016
Location: Anywhere USA
Posts: 2,103
Hello fellow non 24 hour drinkers! As you know my husband was supposed to leave last night and be out of town for a few days, well his plane was delayed till this am, so he came on home. Now 60 some days ago, I would have been scrambling hiding the wine, shoveling peanut butter in my mouth, along with mints, trying to get a clearer head. Not last night! this girl was sober sober sober! Lovin this livin!
Badge
Badge
Member
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: PA and Florida
Posts: 4,189
Bid vibes, Glee. Yes, we have talked through quite a few conundrums these past few years.
Cool story, badg...
Not drankin' today in Florida and not headed out of state, either.
Good day to all.
Carlos
Cool story, badg...
Not drankin' today in Florida and not headed out of state, either.
Good day to all.
Carlos
Member
Join Date: Mar 2014
Posts: 25,373
Badger, it keeps getting better, too. It's really weird living without shame.
Good weird.
Nothing intoxicating will cross my lips today.
Unless maybe I slip up at the grocery and buy a baguette. Bread is my current weakness...crusty bread and cheese. Or by itself. Aack.
I don't need it.
I live on a river and the water is really high and muddy and moving much faster than usual. Lots of rain here in the past few days. That's been my excuse this week for not looking for work. I am in denial about my dwindling $$$. This putting things off is my biggest battle right now.
*edit to say. I'm not really in denial. I just don't like to think about it and I'm really good at not thinking about it. I am okay, don't worry about me. I could live for years more with no job. It just isn't that good for me.
Good weird.
Nothing intoxicating will cross my lips today.
Unless maybe I slip up at the grocery and buy a baguette. Bread is my current weakness...crusty bread and cheese. Or by itself. Aack.
I don't need it.
I live on a river and the water is really high and muddy and moving much faster than usual. Lots of rain here in the past few days. That's been my excuse this week for not looking for work. I am in denial about my dwindling $$$. This putting things off is my biggest battle right now.
*edit to say. I'm not really in denial. I just don't like to think about it and I'm really good at not thinking about it. I am okay, don't worry about me.
I could live for years more with no job. It just isn't that good for me.
p***enger
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: NYC
Posts: 19,075
Very nice, badger!
Not enough meditation time for me & no poetry at all today . I'm very grateful that sometimes it's peaceful in my head, but to be so, it needs regular vacuuming. I can't stand a messy head
I was a little discouraged last night, but not now. It doesn't matter much, does it? i.e., the universe is a brilliant thing regardless of me and what I think about it. Today, I won't mess up anyone else's experience by drinking or using drugs.
Not enough meditation time for me & no poetry at all today . I'm very grateful that sometimes it's peaceful in my head, but to be so, it needs regular vacuuming. I can't stand a messy head
I was a little discouraged last night, but not now. It doesn't matter much, does it? i.e., the universe is a brilliant thing regardless of me and what I think about it. Today, I won't mess up anyone else's experience by drinking or using drugs.
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