Courage it's not about Nyquil as I see it.
I dunno what to call it - the thrill of sailing close to the edge, the frisson of 'being bad', self sabotage, or just the 'eff its'...
but I reckon it's still the AV flexing it's muscles.
It's good it didn't lead to anything but - as your friend and someone who cares for you - it's not ok.
I hope you'll talk to someone. We selfishly want you here with us
D