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I Will Not Drink/Use Today Part 3

Old 12-21-2016, 07:44 PM
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I Will Not Drink/Use Today Part 3

last part here:

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...rt-2-a-21.html

D
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Old 12-21-2016, 07:49 PM
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Thank you, Dee!

Gleefan, good for you for doing the work to get the positive feedback, and for accepting it with equilibrium!

For me, mental balance is maybe the greatest of sobriety.

And I'm still not particularly balanced
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Old 12-22-2016, 04:42 AM
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Positive feedback still means too much to me. I know it's an improper response, so I try not to let it show--I try to distract myself--but sometimes I get really needy for other people's positive responses.

It's as if my whole life depends on getting that pat on the back.

This sounds odd, but maybe I should learn to respect my own judgment enough so that I can rest with confidence in a job well done, and not have to swivel my head around looking for approval from others.
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Old 12-22-2016, 04:45 AM
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Originally Posted by courage2 View Post
For me, mental balance is maybe the greatest of sobriety.

And I'm still not particularly balanced
Same! For me it requires a lot of concentration and focus. I also need the framework of AA and the 12 steps to guide me.

I'm up early because I couldn't sleep. I've absolved myself of my unrealistic expectations of an organized home with artfully wrapped presents, and adorable coordinating Christmas outfits that I didn't have the time to plan and execute on time. Or the volunteer activity that I didn't have the time or energy to drag my unwilling kids to do.

I'm going to give myself kudos for making time to take the boys shopping for each other, showing them how to wrap presents, and enjoying their pride in doing something for someone else.
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Old 12-22-2016, 05:08 AM
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That's a whole lot, Glee.

We compete with ourselves to match that classic image of the cute matching outfits, the perfectly appointed home, an abundance of attractively wrapped presents, and of course a cornucopia of diverse and delicious Christmas cookies (that would be "biscuits" to you, Dee ).

It's nice for those with the time and skill set for that. I do know some who have it. I don't.

The old me used to snark when there was something nice I couldn't achieve.

Not now.

My daughter loves to decorate for Christmas. She does her place the weekend after Thanksgiving; a couple weeks later she comes and does my house, just for the joy of it!

I've always felt the pressure to bake a "festive assortment" of Christmas cookies. This year I'm not going to do much, because my kids are all adults now, and 4 out of the 7 people in the household are watching what they eat (and I should be!).

So maybe I'll ask the 2 others what sort of cookies they'd like, and make one batch to feed them and the grandkids.

It makes me feel like I'm really dropping the ball--but there's no value in knocking myself out to maintain some arbitrary standard when the overwhelming majority of people has absolutely no interest in it!

Times change, and we're doing the things that are most important.

We shouldn't let ourselves be cowed by a Norman Rockwell ideal.
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Old 12-22-2016, 05:24 AM
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I've changed my mind!

Saskia put all my fears to rest by saying,

"Better fat than drunk!"



So I guess I'll knuckle under and make two batches!
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Old 12-22-2016, 05:40 AM
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Morning, peeps. I would love to respond to the discussions on recovery, but, time simply will not allow at present. I rented my house in PA for a year and in 48 hours will be the start of my journey back to my life in Florida. The big probs is...well, I'm an alkie...and I've left 5 days of work for the next two. However, Monday night will soon arrive and I will be safely in my old seat at my Home Group in Florida. Why do I still require the all or nothing to occupy space in my life??? Oh, I know why...I'm an alkie - progress, not....
Have a good one, IWNDOUT team!
Carlos
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Old 12-22-2016, 05:44 AM
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Have a smooth trip, Carlos!
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Old 12-22-2016, 06:18 AM
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I was at the Subaru mechanic last week. I sat down to wait for my car and reached for a magazine and the only thing they had was car magazines and hunting magazines. I said, "I call gender bias on the magazine choices." (I know these guys, my car is 17 years old and it likes to visit them.)

The guy behind the counter says, "My boss brings in the Martha Stewart magazine but they always disappear."

*blink*

I couldn't figure that out.

Me, "So, people steal them? Because it's all I can do to keep the clutter off the floor and tables, let alone do a Martha Stewart house. I can't afford that staff."

Car guy, "Yeah, people steal them. I don't know why they want decorating tips from a felon."



I did manage to put up a tree, but no cookies. I don't want to start a tradition that I have to keep up.

Not gonna drink today. Nice to see some old friends in this thread. Merry Christmas.
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Old 12-22-2016, 08:03 AM
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My mother decorated the house at Christmas beautifully. Stockings in front of the fire, hundreds of cards -- it was a time before gift cards so the gifts piled up. Manger scenes in every room and a wreath on every door. My father was a small-town doctor and one of the two local hospitals was Catholic -- the "nuns" (as my mother used to call the Catholic hospital admin) used to send a dozen poinsettias.

When I was a teenager, I thought about trying to live up to that. I chose not to. My parents were deeply flawed alcoholics but when I was young they seemed to have this whole perfection thing going on. You couldn't help but admire their bubble but you couldn't get in.

I guess it was the easy road for me to live up to their alcoholism but not their elegance. LOL -- sloth scores!

I'm not drinking today.
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Old 12-22-2016, 08:03 AM
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I used to hate Christmas. First my x wife took my two youngest kids 3 and 4 yrs old when w that we got a divorce.(my drinking may have played a part in that). Christmas just wasn't the same. Then I read about the poem in the NY newspaper, The Night before Christmas that started the santa claus thing. But here lately I realized that we need Christmas, it breaks up the cold winter months with something to look forward to, (for the kids anyway). And thats the only time of the year that some people see their families and friends.Merry Christmas SR community!
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Old 12-22-2016, 08:05 AM
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Merry Christmas tomls!
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Old 12-22-2016, 08:06 AM
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With the wife I have had the last ten yrs ,Christmas starts the day after Halloween!
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Old 12-22-2016, 08:07 AM
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Thank you
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Old 12-22-2016, 09:17 AM
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Tomas:

One thing that my family would like me to do for Christmas is put on a turkey dinner. I was online looking for carving tips, when I saw a recipe for Turkey with Pinot Noir Gravy.

Now, why?. Who on earth associates turkey with Pinot Noir?

Such foolishness!

Oh, BTW--I got a brainstorm when I jokingly informed Dee up above that cookies were "biscuits to you:". I decided to knock my family out by making ANZAC Biscuits! A lady from Sydney made them for my tenant with substitute American ingredients. She claimed that the originals are better--but these counterfeits were pretty darned fantastic!

So that's two batches of cookies--the others are little butter puffballs called Mexican Wedding Cakes.

I promise I will not come on here and whine about how frazzled I am. I am taking this on myself in full cognizance of the repercussions.
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Old 12-22-2016, 09:26 AM
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Please to send a dozen wedding cookies to Bim.

I may have to go out and buy some today. My mother used to make ten different kinds of cookies and pack them up and mail them to us all (like five of us) all over the country. Then she would complain over and over about how much time and how stressful it was. Then I would say, "Mom, stop sending them!"

Honestly, I was over weight and didn't need them. The other family members had plenty of other people around at offices etc. - so lots of treats. She did it to her own self, then when we said how delicious they were, she'd kvetch about how much tiiiiiiiiiiiime it took.
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Old 12-22-2016, 10:32 AM
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As a reformed drunk, I want to be able to take on a reasonable amount of tasks with competence and not leave others holding the bag.

I so don't want to be that person like your mom. It's probably because she feels useless unless she bakes those unnecessary cookies. Like me, she fishes for compliments, maybe because she feels irrelevant to the family. Perhaps the only heroic thing she knows how to do is make a ton of Christmas cookies!

I do have a set role in my family: I'm like Ronald Reagan: a generally good-humored and benevolent soul who is nevertheless way, way off on another planet. I am universally recognized as being a bit drifty.

But a lot more competent at the basics than I used to be! Becoming sober has helped a lot (not merely stopping drinking).
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Old 12-22-2016, 10:34 AM
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Sorry to call you "Tomas," Tomls. That was my annoying auto-correct.
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Old 12-22-2016, 12:07 PM
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I've been called a lot worse things! Tom
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Old 12-22-2016, 03:38 PM
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^^^ lol

I have a former student who used to send me wedding cake cookies. Pure melt-in-your-mouth. One of my students this year gave me homemade fruitcake, which is pretty good, but no substitute. Plus fruitcake reminds me of my mother, who used to get a fruitcake this time of year and put it away for the next 12 months, dousing it periodically with brandy.

I guess what with the Virgin Mary & all, Christmas is a big mom-thing.
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