bandicoot2

(((Sunflower))) You've had a lot of extra stressors the past few weeks. Starting a new job and leaving your babies with someone else is a huge change for you and no doubt for your husband as well. Be kind to yourself, you deserve it. More hugs!!

Hi Odelle, so sorry to hear about your diagnosis- Hope you find an excellent specialist. I really admire your positive attitude as you deal with your various health issues. Sending you hugs and positive thoughts...

Hey Mav, sorry you're struggling but really glad you posted about your AV. Stay strong and stay with us. I know now how hard it is to log on daily during a tough work week, but it's so worth it for the support and love we give each other. Take care!

Hi Delilah, love your positive attitude on life and your sobriety! I'm so glad you came back in January. -

My husband irritated me more than usual this weekend and it's probably because I'm now used to time away from him during the week. My stress & irritation made me realize how easily I could slip into that AV mode of "I need a drink!" I've mentioned in past posts that I blamed him for my drinking but in reality his behavior is just an excuse to drink, because I drank before we met. Life is just better sober and drinking won't help how I react to his various behaviors. So I prayed, spent time with positive family members and exercised a lot this weekend. And I'm leaving for another walk right now! Thank God I return to work tomorrow.

Take care Jannies and let's stay Sober no matter what life throws at us!

bandicoot2

Oops, forgot to say Hi Caramel and glad you popped in to let us know how you're doing. Good to hear from you and take care-

Dee74

Hey Sunflowerlife - I can;t say it any better than these guys- you just get up, dust yourself off, learn any lessons that need learnin' and move forward.

whatever the issues in your marriage, drinking's not going to help

D

Delilah1

Odelle, I am glad you found out what is going on with your health, and I hope your doctor is helping you find a good plan for moving forward.

Bandi, sorry your husband is driving you crazy, they have a way of doing that sometimes! I am glad I came back in January too, I love how encouraging and supportive our class is.

Mav, sorry you had a tough week. I hope this one is better.

Dee, thanks for continuing to be our wise leader through this journey.;-)

Hope everyone's week gets off to a positive start!!

❤️ Delilah

bandicoot2

Hahahahaha Dee, Love your new meme!!!

Hey Jannies, wishing everyone a good Sober day or night, take care.

Sunflowerlife

Day 1. Spent all day drinking Sunday and DH was right along with me. It's not his fault by any means but damnit it would be nice if he didn't support it. It's like he complete forgot about the fact that I was sober for 4 months. And how do I feel this morning? Like hell. I am so lucky I can work from home because there is no way I could go to a job feeling like I do. My face is all bloated, and the self loathing has begun. I am done. I don't ever want to feel like this again. What a waste of time, energy, money and brain cells. Wishing you all a great start to the week. Thanks for the endless support- it means the world to me.

Dee74

it all gets better from here

D

Sunflowerlife

AV trying to convince me to go get some wine so i can kill this hangover. I have gotten up a couple times now to get dressed for the store but each time I stop myself. I need lots of prayers today. I don't want to drink. I feel like I should just work half a day and try to nap the rest. At least it will keep me safe until I have to pick the boys up from school. I hate this. I hate how I feel and I hate who I am.

Odelle

Sunny, your AV wants you to hate yourself because it takes the light away from it - your addiction; you are not your addiction. I know that we aren't supposed to attach links to other support sources, but I really think that watching some of the inspirational clips being broadcast by the Hay House World Summit would be very beneficial to you, in particular, The Shadow Effect, I watched it this morning. This is a free summit with motivational and spiritual teachers such as the late Wayne Dyer and Deepak Chopra, just register with your name and email address and you will have full access to the material, which runs through May 30; each week with different topics and presenters.

Sunny, if nothing else, please watch the clip mentioned above, under movies and videos, it will help you to let go of hating yourself for actions and behaviors you don't necessarily condone. If the link doesn't work, try Google searching The Hay House World Summit.

Hugs to you sweetie, you will beat this!


https://www.hayhouseworldsummit.com/...content=c_2066

Sunflowerlife

Thanks Odelle- I am already subscribed to the summit but haven't gotten an email since last week. I will watch that one for sure. I need some positivity right now. I am NOT going to drink today.

Thumpalumpacus

This is not who you are, hon.

This is not who you are.

THAT is your AV talking.

Sunflowerlife

I can't stop crying. I am so upset to be starting over. I feel so weak and fragile. I can't even work. Just got into bed and need to sleep this feeling off. I don't ever want to feel like this again. I am also so mad at my husband but I don't have a right to be mad at him, do I? I mean he really enjoyed having his drinking partner back and it just makes me sick to my stomach. I guess it just doesn't matter. He can live his life and I will go back to my sobriety.

Thank you T. This doesn't feel like the real "me." Which is why it hurts so much. It's like my emotions are being taken over today. I am unmotivated and scared. This is not me. I am much better than all of this.

Thumpalumpacus

You are much better than this, sweetie. And you will be much better than this again, too.

We all lapse. I'd be willing to bet every one of us here has been where you are ... I know I have. Beating yourself up over this is not constructive, at all. And hung over, you and I both know that your thinker ain't gonna work right anyway -- so your self-judgments are questionable, to my mind.

Honestly, if I were you I wouldn't even think about your husband's role in this right now. I would worry about climbing back on the bike and getting the pedals moving again, and let the therapist y'all are about to see help you two with this problem.

Drink plenty of water, stay in bed as long as possible, eat lightly and avoid greasy foods ... I guess we all know the drill by now, eh?

((((Sunny))))

Odelle

Sunny, I didn't receive an email when I registered, the page automatically went active. Try registering again and see if it activates for you. There is some great material that I think will benefit you right now.

You can do this, so take a deep breath and google Hay House World Summit. Grab a big glass of water and sit back and listen.

mav

I don't know if this will help, but a while back you said

You can do this!

Dee74

sunflowerlife - try and think of this as a blip, a skirmish, rather than the whole war.

a lot of us found we underestimated the task - I know I did.

Beating yourself up is wasted useless energy. Use that energy towards a plan - Recovery 2.0.

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...ery-plans.html

You're not back at square one - you've learned and gained a lot - you can use that now

D

Thumpalumpacus

Beautifully-put, Mav. Focus on the good!

Exactly. It's the difference between seeing mistakes as crimes, and seeing mistakes as learning opportunities.

Pretty sure there's not a prosecutor in the house here, Sunny -- there's no need to provide one yourself.

bandicoot2

Borrowed this from erfra's post on today's 24 hour commitment thread. Thought we could all benefit, especially (((Sunflower)))

Self Love


"I woke up this morning and I had a hard time for a while," said one recovering man. "Then I realized it was because I wasn't liking myself very much." Recovering people often say: I just don't like myself. When will I start liking myself?

The answer is: start now. We can learn to be gentle, loving, and nurturing with ourselves. Of all the recovery behaviors we're striving to attain, loving ourselves may be the most difficult, and the most important. If we are habitually harsh and critical toward ourselves, learning to be gentle with ourselves may require dedicated effort.

But what a valuable venture!

By not liking ourselves, we may be perpetuating the discounting, neglect, or abuse we received in childhood from the important people in our life. We didn't like what happened then, but find ourselves copying those who mistreated us by treating ourselves poorly.

We can stop the pattern. We can begin giving ourselves the loving, respectful treatment we deserve.

Instead of criticizing ourselves, we can tell ourselves we performed well enough.

We can wake up in the morning and tell ourselves we deserve a good day.

We can make a commitment to take good care of ourselves throughout the day.

We can recognize that were deserving of love. We can do loving things for ourselves.

We can love other people and let them love us.

People, who truly love themselves do not become destructively self-centered. They do not abuse others. They do not stop growing and changing. People who love themselves well, learn to love others well too. They continually grow into healthier people, learning that their love was appropriately placed.

Today, I will love myself. If I get caught in the old pattern of not liking myself, I will find a way to get out.
__________________

Dee74

Thanks Bandi

D

Thumpalumpacus

It's been terribly difficult for me to like myself in my recovery, now having a clear-eyed view of how I've wronged others. The ability to love and forgive oneself has been pretty crucial to my own recovery.

I'm still working on it. Thanks, Bandi, for putting it into a little perspective.