Class Of January 2016 Support Thread part 9
Alive in the Superunknown
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: 30.47ºN, 98.15ºW
Posts: 1,460
Hiya Odelle, I'm busy working on an original jazz/blues, a reqieum for my late friend, and in a similar vein working up a solo-acoustic version of "The Wind Cries Mary". I need to relearn how to shoot video on my camera, but I'll put something up before too long. 
Long day here at work. I'm going to go home, play a little, and get some much-needed sleep.
Peace, love, and sobriety, y'all.
Long day here at work. I'm going to go home, play a little, and get some much-needed sleep.
Peace, love, and sobriety, y'all.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2016
Posts: 4,217
Hello friends. Now that I am working it really feels like the weekend! Headed to the farmer's market which is on the river and under an overpass. They have live music for the kids to enjoy and lots of nice vendors.
Going to the gym after that and then dinner at a friend's house.
It's our 5 year anniversary and DH and I aren't really speaking. This sucks. I found out we qualify for three free counseling sessions through my employer so I will be going through the list of therapists tomorrow. I just can't continue living this way.
AV is being sneaky again- it was trying to convince me that I can have a glass of wine tonight at our friend's house. I shot it down quickly but I hate that I am not feeling strong lately. Lately it's been saying things like, "well it's not like you're happier now that you're not drinking so what's the point?"...and "it's not like you feel more spiritually connected like you thought you would sober"...and"life really isn't better sober."
I wish it would just shut the hell up.
Having said that, I am finally feeling like the Zoloft
Is out of my system and these supplements are helping. Man that was tough getting off of it but I survived!! I was feeling pretty hopeless for a while there.
Anyway, I hope you are all doing well. Sending my love to all of you- I catch up on my phone but don't always respond. Please know I am thinking of each and every one of you. Xo
Going to the gym after that and then dinner at a friend's house.
It's our 5 year anniversary and DH and I aren't really speaking. This sucks. I found out we qualify for three free counseling sessions through my employer so I will be going through the list of therapists tomorrow. I just can't continue living this way.
AV is being sneaky again- it was trying to convince me that I can have a glass of wine tonight at our friend's house. I shot it down quickly but I hate that I am not feeling strong lately. Lately it's been saying things like, "well it's not like you're happier now that you're not drinking so what's the point?"...and "it's not like you feel more spiritually connected like you thought you would sober"...and"life really isn't better sober."
I wish it would just shut the hell up.
Having said that, I am finally feeling like the Zoloft
Is out of my system and these supplements are helping. Man that was tough getting off of it but I survived!! I was feeling pretty hopeless for a while there.
Anyway, I hope you are all doing well. Sending my love to all of you- I catch up on my phone but don't always respond. Please know I am thinking of each and every one of you. Xo
Alive in the Superunknown
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: 30.47ºN, 98.15ºW
Posts: 1,460
Morning check-in here. Lovin' the new guitar.
Good to see you, Sunny, and I'm glad you've found therapy that you can access quickly and no out-of-pocket. Hopefully that will get your relationship back on the good foot. And great job slapping the AV down.
Good to see you, Sunny, and I'm glad you've found therapy that you can access quickly and no out-of-pocket. Hopefully that will get your relationship back on the good foot. And great job slapping the AV down.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: California
Posts: 13,040
Hello Jannies,
Caramel, glad you popped in and that you are doing well.
Sunny, I'm sorry things are still rough at home, I hope the counseling will help. Is your husband willing to go?
Thump, I love that you are working on something for your friend, what a wonderful way to remember him.
Today was a good and busy Saturday. I went for a long walk this morning, and then spent the day shuttling kids from one activity to the next. My girls went to a show tonight, it is sad that my 11 and 12 year old are out later than me on weekend nights!!
Odelle your dinner sounds delicious, I wish cooking was something I enjoyed doing!
Bandi, glad you are doing well!!
Enjoy the rest of your weekend everyone!
Caramel, glad you popped in and that you are doing well.
Sunny, I'm sorry things are still rough at home, I hope the counseling will help. Is your husband willing to go?
Thump, I love that you are working on something for your friend, what a wonderful way to remember him.
Today was a good and busy Saturday. I went for a long walk this morning, and then spent the day shuttling kids from one activity to the next. My girls went to a show tonight, it is sad that my 11 and 12 year old are out later than me on weekend nights!!
Odelle your dinner sounds delicious, I wish cooking was something I enjoyed doing!
Bandi, glad you are doing well!!
Enjoy the rest of your weekend everyone!
Member
Join Date: Feb 2013
Location: California
Posts: 2,643
So good to hear from you Caramel, and even better hearing that all's well. Don't be a stranger, pop in more often!
I do enjoy cooking Olivia, always have. I'm terrible at gardening, but great in the kitchen.
Well, my test results came today and unfortunately, I did test positive for Sjogren's Syndrome, as suspected. Next step is to see a rheumatologist. All the more reasons to get and stay on a clean diet.
Off to bed, wishing everyone a good day or night.
I do enjoy cooking Olivia, always have. I'm terrible at gardening, but great in the kitchen.
Well, my test results came today and unfortunately, I did test positive for Sjogren's Syndrome, as suspected. Next step is to see a rheumatologist. All the more reasons to get and stay on a clean diet.
Off to bed, wishing everyone a good day or night.
Alive in the Superunknown
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: 30.47ºN, 98.15ºW
Posts: 1,460
Sorry about your bad news, Odelle. Reading up on the Mayo Clinic website, I see that some sufferers can manage controlling the symptoms on their own, while others need supervised treatment. Will you have to resort to the latter, or can you address your needs on your own?
Nice to see you pop in, Caramel ... don't be a stranger.
Lovely evening down here, unseasonably cool for Central Tejas this time of year, and we had one hell of a storm hit earlier, with low-water crossings flooded out. Fortunately, there are none for me to navigate on my short commute, so I'm able to sit on my porch and unwind before bed-thirty.
Sweet dreams, Jannies.
Nice to see you pop in, Caramel ... don't be a stranger.
Lovely evening down here, unseasonably cool for Central Tejas this time of year, and we had one hell of a storm hit earlier, with low-water crossings flooded out. Fortunately, there are none for me to navigate on my short commute, so I'm able to sit on my porch and unwind before bed-thirty.
Sweet dreams, Jannies.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2016
Posts: 4,217
Originally Posted by Odelle 
So good to hear from you Caramel, and even better hearing that all's well. Don't be a stranger, pop in more often!
I do enjoy cooking Olivia, always have. I'm terrible at gardening, but great in the kitchen.
Well, my test results came today and unfortunately, I did test positive for Sjogren's Syndrome, as suspected. Next step is to see a rheumatologist. All the more reasons to get and stay on a clean diet.
Off to bed, wishing everyone a good day or night.
I do enjoy cooking Olivia, always have. I'm terrible at gardening, but great in the kitchen.
Well, my test results came today and unfortunately, I did test positive for Sjogren's Syndrome, as suspected. Next step is to see a rheumatologist. All the more reasons to get and stay on a clean diet.
Off to bed, wishing everyone a good day or night.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2016
Posts: 4,217
I made the choice to drink last night.
It was planned- I even said it out loud to DH as we were driving to our friend's house for dinner. He didn't say anything, not that he could have stopped me, but maybe hearing "I don't think you should" would have made a difference? Who knows.
I am numb today. Tired, and numb. On top of 4 drinks I tried night weaning the little guy and that did not go very well. He cried hysterically in my arms for over AN HOUR- from 1:15- 2:30 am so I finally gave in and nursed him. Luckily I was able to sleep in a bit and he is actually still asleep and it's past 9 (that never, ever happens.)
I'm pissed. Not pissed that I drank but pissed that my reasoning was primarily my anger over my marriage. Part of me thought if I drank DH and I would get along better. When we first fell in love that's all we did- get drunk together. Maybe I though with a buzz I would forget how much I hate him these days. Well, that didn't work.
It was stupid, really. My friend who had us over drank water all night so it's not like I was being social. I just wanted a buzz- to feel different- to feel better.
I don't know what the future holds, honestly. I don't even know what I want anymore but I can tell you that drinking did nothing for me. Sure, the buzz was fun for a couple hours but then what? I feel extra tired this morning, spent money I shouldn't have and in reality what did I gain? Not a damn thing. I can't even imagine doing that again or why I would want to. I mean it really makes me wonder why we drink in the first place.
Sorry if I disappointed. I don't want to start over- I don't even want to count days and months anymore and I certainly don't want to lose you guys. Tell me what to do, I feel so lost here and can't stop crying...
It was planned- I even said it out loud to DH as we were driving to our friend's house for dinner. He didn't say anything, not that he could have stopped me, but maybe hearing "I don't think you should" would have made a difference? Who knows.
I am numb today. Tired, and numb. On top of 4 drinks I tried night weaning the little guy and that did not go very well. He cried hysterically in my arms for over AN HOUR- from 1:15- 2:30 am so I finally gave in and nursed him. Luckily I was able to sleep in a bit and he is actually still asleep and it's past 9 (that never, ever happens.)
I'm pissed. Not pissed that I drank but pissed that my reasoning was primarily my anger over my marriage. Part of me thought if I drank DH and I would get along better. When we first fell in love that's all we did- get drunk together. Maybe I though with a buzz I would forget how much I hate him these days. Well, that didn't work.
It was stupid, really. My friend who had us over drank water all night so it's not like I was being social. I just wanted a buzz- to feel different- to feel better.
I don't know what the future holds, honestly. I don't even know what I want anymore but I can tell you that drinking did nothing for me. Sure, the buzz was fun for a couple hours but then what? I feel extra tired this morning, spent money I shouldn't have and in reality what did I gain? Not a damn thing. I can't even imagine doing that again or why I would want to. I mean it really makes me wonder why we drink in the first place.
Sorry if I disappointed. I don't want to start over- I don't even want to count days and months anymore and I certainly don't want to lose you guys. Tell me what to do, I feel so lost here and can't stop crying...
Guest
Join Date: Jan 2016
Location: Northwest
Posts: 4,215
(((Sunflowerlife))).
We've all been there. Alcohol was a "solution" for so long that we forget that that "solution" lasts for maybe an hour but makes the other 23 much, much worse.
Back on the horse, sweetie. Take what you've learned, turn your face into the sun, and sail on. (Talk about a mixed metaphor)
We've all been there. Alcohol was a "solution" for so long that we forget that that "solution" lasts for maybe an hour but makes the other 23 much, much worse.
Back on the horse, sweetie. Take what you've learned, turn your face into the sun, and sail on. (Talk about a mixed metaphor
)
EnjoyingTheJourney
Join Date: Aug 2015
Posts: 3,847
(((Sunflower))) Sending big Hugs to you sweetie. 
You are one of us and always will be. Your time, days and wisdom are not wasted. Please take everything you know that works on your sobriety journey and climb back on the horse (or bike or wagon)
We love you! Take care and stay close.
You are one of us and always will be. Your time, days and wisdom are not wasted. Please take everything you know that works on your sobriety journey and climb back on the horse (or bike or wagon)
We love you! Take care and stay close.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2013
Location: California
Posts: 2,643
It's crazy how our AVs are able to rationalize thoughts of drinking in such a subtle tone that we don't even recognize where it's coming from; we literally think that it is a conscious "rational" decision, when in reality it's the cunning AV.
Okay Miss Sunny, lesson learned and mistake not to be repeated. Stay with us Sunny, you're part of this group and we all learn from one another! Hugs to you!
Okay Miss Sunny, lesson learned and mistake not to be repeated. Stay with us Sunny, you're part of this group and we all learn from one another! Hugs to you!
Alive in the Superunknown
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: 30.47ºN, 98.15ºW
Posts: 1,460
You've fallen down, sweetie. Take the hands offerred, get back on your feet, and keep walking.
You'll always be a Jannie, hon. Don't worry about disappointing us. You handle your business secure in the knowledge that we'll be here for you.
You'll always be a Jannie, hon. Don't worry about disappointing us. You handle your business secure in the knowledge that we'll be here for you.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: California
Posts: 13,040
Hi Sunny,
I'm so glad you came here and posted. I have made the mistake in the past of drinking and just slipping quietly away from SR and any other supports I had in place.
You didn't lose your sober time, just dust yourself off and get right back up. I know you are struggling with your marriage, and that is not easy. Please know we are all here for you.
Sending lots of love your way.
❤️ Delilah
I'm so glad you came here and posted. I have made the mistake in the past of drinking and just slipping quietly away from SR and any other supports I had in place.
You didn't lose your sober time, just dust yourself off and get right back up. I know you are struggling with your marriage, and that is not easy. Please know we are all here for you.
Sending lots of love your way.
❤️ Delilah
just keep swimming
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: UK
Posts: 502
Sorry to hear Sunny. Not that you drank, so much, but that your personal life and marital uncertainty made you want to. That's not nice.
As for the actual drinking... Well, sounds like you can take a lot of experience away from it.
Thank you for posting, though. I have been so close to drinking this last week, the resolve was only just hanging in there, reading this though has given me a fresh kick up the arse.
Hope you get through the next day or so ok xx
As for the actual drinking... Well, sounds like you can take a lot of experience away from it.
Thank you for posting, though. I have been so close to drinking this last week, the resolve was only just hanging in there, reading this though has given me a fresh kick up the arse.
Hope you get through the next day or so ok
xx
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