Class of December 2015 Pt 6
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Join Date: Dec 2015
Location: NSW - Australia
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Dear R&H not for one moment would I want for you to think that you were intruding.....everyone is welcome. That's what it's about, thank goodness.
It is me R&H, I am mentally and physically exhausted and probably suffered a mini breakdown. I have not been off the road doing things for family that MUST be done, no way 'round it.
I'm OK, just so mentally tired that I need to rest.
People here are good. I am too, just buggered. Make friends here, and glad you left the bar stool behind.
Best to all.....and I am OK Dee, thanks. Wow, I didn't have a drink.
It is me R&H, I am mentally and physically exhausted and probably suffered a mini breakdown. I have not been off the road doing things for family that MUST be done, no way 'round it.
I'm OK, just so mentally tired that I need to rest.
People here are good. I am too, just buggered. Make friends here, and glad you left the bar stool behind.
Best to all.....and I am OK Dee, thanks. Wow, I didn't have a drink.
Last edited by Steely; 05-19-2016 at 03:07 AM. Reason: Punctuation
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Join Date: Nov 2014
Location: Australia
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Hey everyone. Thanks for the good wishes, R&H, I think the travel is in my blood - I come from a family of immigrants who've had trouble settling in the same place for more than a couple of generations.
Steely, it's always very nice to see a post from you, m'lady. Please look after yourself... You sound like you need to put down your load if you can. But it's nice to see you back here for a bit.
The move is now going full speed ahead. Plans being put in place, management calling about contracts, budgets, targets, etc. I feel a bit like I'm standing on a beach with the waves coming in and giving me a good pounding, I'm soaked but I'm still upright! It occurred to me today that there's a reason people advise against making major changes in the first 12 months of sobriety - not that I see myself drinking over any of this - but there's a certain level of stress involved. It still feels so right though, so that's the important thing.
Steely, it's always very nice to see a post from you, m'lady. Please look after yourself... You sound like you need to put down your load if you can. But it's nice to see you back here for a bit.
The move is now going full speed ahead. Plans being put in place, management calling about contracts, budgets, targets, etc. I feel a bit like I'm standing on a beach with the waves coming in and giving me a good pounding, I'm soaked but I'm still upright! It occurred to me today that there's a reason people advise against making major changes in the first 12 months of sobriety - not that I see myself drinking over any of this - but there's a certain level of stress involved. It still feels so right though, so that's the important thing.
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Join Date: Jan 2016
Posts: 288
Steely, thank you for the welcome, and hang in there.
MissP, sounds like things are really moving now. Best of luck! I envy your traveling spirit
I'm feeling pretty good today. Went to a concert last night to see the band Explosions in the Sky. Didn't drink. I just enjoyed the music and took in the experience. No hangovers today, and I remember the show :-) I am starting an anxiety med, which I'm a little nervous about. I've had panic attacks since I was 19. I was hoping they'd just disappear with sobriety. I'm accepting the fact that it's just part of my brain chemistry, and although not drinking didn't "cure" my panic attacks, drinking only makes them worse. So, I'm giving meds a go.
MissP, sounds like things are really moving now. Best of luck! I envy your traveling spirit
I'm feeling pretty good today. Went to a concert last night to see the band Explosions in the Sky. Didn't drink. I just enjoyed the music and took in the experience. No hangovers today, and I remember the show :-) I am starting an anxiety med, which I'm a little nervous about. I've had panic attacks since I was 19. I was hoping they'd just disappear with sobriety. I'm accepting the fact that it's just part of my brain chemistry, and although not drinking didn't "cure" my panic attacks, drinking only makes them worse. So, I'm giving meds a go.
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Join Date: Dec 2015
Location: NSW - Australia
Posts: 14,612
I guess I'm just going going to have to use the old insanity plea as my defence. I reckon it's got legs.
Feelings and emotions, the past flooding back dead centre into my frontal lobe and the exhaustion of dealing with family have taken me out big time. It will be a good thing in the long run and think my shrink will agree. Thank goodness for his unflinching support.
This is the first time sobriety has been front and centre for me, so I guess the way I am feeling is pretty much par for the course. I drank to forget, but I can't anymore.
Have cancelled all family commitments for the next week so as to recoup. Guess I won't make 2nd bat for Australia. I'd be lucky to be bringing 'round the oranges at tea.
I hope you will accept my plea as I am completely aware that both you MissP, and sleepie, have always been in my corner and hope you have felt the same of me. I am so sorry.
Glad you are still upright MissP after the soaking, but we aussies know how to swim, hey?
Feelings and emotions, the past flooding back dead centre into my frontal lobe and the exhaustion of dealing with family have taken me out big time. It will be a good thing in the long run and think my shrink will agree. Thank goodness for his unflinching support.
This is the first time sobriety has been front and centre for me, so I guess the way I am feeling is pretty much par for the course. I drank to forget, but I can't anymore.
Have cancelled all family commitments for the next week so as to recoup. Guess I won't make 2nd bat for Australia. I'd be lucky to be bringing 'round the oranges at tea.
I hope you will accept my plea as I am completely aware that both you MissP, and sleepie, have always been in my corner and hope you have felt the same of me. I am so sorry.
Glad you are still upright MissP after the soaking, but we aussies know how to swim, hey?
Last edited by Steely; 05-19-2016 at 04:01 PM. Reason: Punctuation
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Location: NSW - Australia
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Making spaghett with sharp parmison cheese, followed by a Bounty and a Cherry Ripe for dessert. I ate the Cherry Ripe and Bounty first. No rules.
Am dividing my vegetable intake into into say three/five separate portions. That's the recommended.
Like 1 whole bowl of peas, butter, later bowl of carrots with honey, next sweet potato, pumpkin, maybe. Small portions fish, smaller servings beef/lamb. Do it slowly over the day.
I find if I break my eating up over the whole day, it makes it more manageable for me. A standard diner plate with the lot becomes a bit overwhelming.
I'm still getting all of the nutrients just not conventional. I am quite underweight and only 39kgs. Fly weight, so it's important to me.
Gotta put on weight and have booked to see a dietician next week. He's a doctor.
Hope everyone is travelling well.
Am dividing my vegetable intake into into say three/five separate portions. That's the recommended.
Like 1 whole bowl of peas, butter, later bowl of carrots with honey, next sweet potato, pumpkin, maybe. Small portions fish, smaller servings beef/lamb. Do it slowly over the day.
I find if I break my eating up over the whole day, it makes it more manageable for me. A standard diner plate with the lot becomes a bit overwhelming.
I'm still getting all of the nutrients just not conventional. I am quite underweight and only 39kgs. Fly weight, so it's important to me.
Gotta put on weight and have booked to see a dietician next week. He's a doctor.
Hope everyone is travelling well.
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Join Date: Nov 2014
Location: Australia
Posts: 1,499
Yup - sounds like you need to be getting onto the diet, Steely. All that running around for the family can't be good for you when you're so underweight. Let us know how it goes with the dietitian.
R&H, I looked up that band ... Post-rock? I'm not sue what that means but the fact they're completely instrumental sounds cool. I might check them out.
I have been hooked on online chess for the last couple nights now. I guess as hobbies go it could be worse. I was up till 1.30 am last night doing that! Erk. With an early morning start for dragon boat training I'm a bit wrecked now.
Steely I don't swim - am not a true Aussie because of that I know! So that's on my list of things to learn when I get back to Melbourne - I've found a place that teaches a technique that sounds right for me and I'll sign up when I'm settled in.
Another thing I've been thinking is I need to improve my social media savvy. Have been chatting with the young crowd on the dragon boat team - they're all so up with Twitter, Instagram, etc. I used to tell myself I wouldn't be one of those people who got "old" and stuck in my ways. So that's what I'm going to try to do this weekend - embark on a proper social media learning curve.
Have a good one everyone!
R&H, I looked up that band ... Post-rock? I'm not sue what that means but the fact they're completely instrumental sounds cool. I might check them out.
I have been hooked on online chess for the last couple nights now. I guess as hobbies go it could be worse. I was up till 1.30 am last night doing that! Erk. With an early morning start for dragon boat training I'm a bit wrecked now.
Steely I don't swim - am not a true Aussie because of that I know! So that's on my list of things to learn when I get back to Melbourne - I've found a place that teaches a technique that sounds right for me and I'll sign up when I'm settled in.
Another thing I've been thinking is I need to improve my social media savvy. Have been chatting with the young crowd on the dragon boat team - they're all so up with Twitter, Instagram, etc. I used to tell myself I wouldn't be one of those people who got "old" and stuck in my ways. So that's what I'm going to try to do this weekend - embark on a proper social media learning curve.
Have a good one everyone!
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Join Date: Nov 2014
Location: Australia
Posts: 1,499
Well, I had a very quiet weekend, just the way I like it. I think I managed to curb my online chess habit a bit, so that I'm not playing late into the night. I did a few administrative things, like booked my temporary accommodation for my move. I also sorted out the social media accounts I'm prepared to participate in ... but I have a bit of stage fright at the moment. Maybe I need to get into a younger person's headspace and pretend I am 24 not 42! At least there is no fear of drunken posts anymore.
I called my father - he's frustrated as my uncle had a fall on his way back from a drinking session with friends and broke his wrist and a leg. He had an operation today. Dad is hopeful this might be the wake-up call my uncle needs to quit the drink,. At the very least, my uncle hasn't been able to drink for the last 2 days he's been in hospital. There but for the grace of God... Sigh. Have a great week everyone.
I called my father - he's frustrated as my uncle had a fall on his way back from a drinking session with friends and broke his wrist and a leg. He had an operation today. Dad is hopeful this might be the wake-up call my uncle needs to quit the drink,. At the very least, my uncle hasn't been able to drink for the last 2 days he's been in hospital. There but for the grace of God... Sigh. Have a great week everyone.
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Now I do hope that I won't be blasted here for this. But I have noticed a theme here with us drinkers. Not specific to this thread. There are a lot of kinds of folks here but 2 themes I see rather consistently- "I didn't get what I deserve for being so great so I drink" and "I have been told I am garbage and so I must be garbage so I drink".
Not saying everyone is one of these but these are 2 things I have kind of noticed in real life as well. And I know there are plenty other reasons people drink. Cannot cope with life, boredom, socially etc. But these 2 things I see a lot of and it got me thinking. How can we learn from each other here... a little humility for some and some self esteem for others.
Why is humility such a difficult pill for some to swallow? What is there to lose?
Not saying everyone is one of these but these are 2 things I have kind of noticed in real life as well. And I know there are plenty other reasons people drink. Cannot cope with life, boredom, socially etc. But these 2 things I see a lot of and it got me thinking. How can we learn from each other here... a little humility for some and some self esteem for others.
Why is humility such a difficult pill for some to swallow? What is there to lose?
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Join Date: Jan 2016
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Miss P, they're a pretty mellow band. I'd check out the Friday Night Lights movie soundtrack if you're interested. What's dragon boat training? Sounds interesting! As far as online chess goes, I could definitely think of worse hobbies You're using your brain (and not abusing it like we did before!) I hope your uncle is ok and that this is a call to recovery.
I hope all is well, Steely, and that you are eating well I had to make some dietary changes, too (I needed to lose weight).
Sleepie, I think I've experienced both of those feelings interchangeably, oddly enough I think there's s difference between humility and self hate and/or shame, which I had quite a bit throughout my life. Yet, somehow, despite hating myself, I thought I deserved way more than what I received.
These past few days I've gotten caught up at times with regret and the "what could have been" thoughts. I'm finding myself more ashamed of my drinking days and what I did, being a drunk for so many years. I know I need to change that regret into gratitude. I have never been arrested. I have a stable job with coworkers and bosses who respect, like, and appreciate me. I'm married to someone who loves me. I've eliminated my debt and am making strides as far as recovery and my life go. So why the regret? I think a part of me needs to acknowledge that the way I lived was no way to live, and I'm lucky to be where I am now. I'm 35, and even tho I tried and failed getting sober when I was in my twenties, I'm here now and -- God willing -- I have a lot of life yet to live.
Anyways, I needed to get that out. I hope everyone is enjoying their weekend. It's a rainy one here in Virginia. I might catch up on some reading
You're using your brain (and not abusing it like we did before!) I hope your uncle is ok and that this is a call to recovery.I hope all is well, Steely, and that you are eating well
I had to make some dietary changes, too (I needed to lose weight). Sleepie, I think I've experienced both of those feelings interchangeably, oddly enough
I think there's s difference between humility and self hate and/or shame, which I had quite a bit throughout my life. Yet, somehow, despite hating myself, I thought I deserved way more than what I received. These past few days I've gotten caught up at times with regret and the "what could have been" thoughts. I'm finding myself more ashamed of my drinking days and what I did, being a drunk for so many years. I know I need to change that regret into gratitude. I have never been arrested. I have a stable job with coworkers and bosses who respect, like, and appreciate me. I'm married to someone who loves me. I've eliminated my debt and am making strides as far as recovery and my life go. So why the regret? I think a part of me needs to acknowledge that the way I lived was no way to live, and I'm lucky to be where I am now. I'm 35, and even tho I tried and failed getting sober when I was in my twenties, I'm here now and -- God willing -- I have a lot of life yet to live.
Anyways, I needed to get that out. I hope everyone is enjoying their weekend. It's a rainy one here in Virginia. I might catch up on some reading
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Join Date: Dec 2015
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Gosh, I'm the Year of the Rat, what does that mean? Doesn't sound too appealing.
I only looked up the learning of social media skills the other day MissP. Sydney University runs one for about $350, but because my budget is limited am going to check out community groups that sometimes run them for free.
The SU site said that demand outstrips supply, and there is a waiting list. So, it's not just me being stupid after all. Bewdy! I'll be able to post tiny pics. haha
I do see those common themes sleepie, but would also include grief and loss in the mix. People drink for all sorts of reasons as you say, mental health included. Escape.
The disease model of alcoholism has never impressed me either, and lean more to a psycho-social understanding.
For me it doesn't really matter anymore, outside of the intellectual gymnastics involved, and which can be fun, and do enjoy. I just gotta remain abstinent and grow as a human being. No more no less. Maybe that's off topic but thought I'd chuck it in. Rat that I am. haha.
I don't know why people have trouble with humility sleepie. Maybe they are really insecure types, or have got big fat egos. I think sometimes I muddle my low self esteem with humility, yet I know they have nothing to do with each other.
Good show with the chess MissP. Branching out is a great way to go and have a few minor projects in mind for myself.
Talking about humility, wish to apologise to everyone for being such a
dip stick.
I'll clear my in-box sleepie. Thanks.
Hi R&H, how ya doing?
I only looked up the learning of social media skills the other day MissP. Sydney University runs one for about $350, but because my budget is limited am going to check out community groups that sometimes run them for free.
The SU site said that demand outstrips supply, and there is a waiting list. So, it's not just me being stupid after all. Bewdy! I'll be able to post tiny pics. haha
I do see those common themes sleepie, but would also include grief and loss in the mix. People drink for all sorts of reasons as you say, mental health included. Escape.
The disease model of alcoholism has never impressed me either, and lean more to a psycho-social understanding.
For me it doesn't really matter anymore, outside of the intellectual gymnastics involved, and which can be fun, and do enjoy. I just gotta remain abstinent and grow as a human being. No more no less. Maybe that's off topic but thought I'd chuck it in. Rat that I am. haha.
I don't know why people have trouble with humility sleepie. Maybe they are really insecure types, or have got big fat egos. I think sometimes I muddle my low self esteem with humility, yet I know they have nothing to do with each other.
Good show with the chess MissP. Branching out is a great way to go and have a few minor projects in mind for myself.
Talking about humility, wish to apologise to everyone for being such a
dip stick.
I'll clear my in-box sleepie. Thanks.
Hi R&H, how ya doing?
Last edited by Steely; 05-22-2016 at 01:47 PM. Reason: Grammar
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Join Date: Dec 2015
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Just read your post R&H and you sound to be doing great.
I have found the same......
With greater sobriety my regret over the error of my ways has become glaring, but guess this is a normal part of recovery, helping to cement my abstinence even further.
Greater sobriety will have me/us let it go. That's my theory and I'm sticking to it. It's not really my theory, I think someone worked it out ages ago. haha We all gotta learn.
You also reminded me about MissP's uncle falling. If nothing else MissP it will, as you say, give him time-out. My Mum fell in the nursing home the other day and has got a big egg on her head. I'm taking time out too. I've learnt my lesson, in more ways than one.
I have found the same......
With greater sobriety my regret over the error of my ways has become glaring, but guess this is a normal part of recovery, helping to cement my abstinence even further.
Greater sobriety will have me/us let it go. That's my theory and I'm sticking to it. It's not really my theory, I think someone worked it out ages ago. haha We all gotta learn.
You also reminded me about MissP's uncle falling. If nothing else MissP it will, as you say, give him time-out. My Mum fell in the nursing home the other day and has got a big egg on her head. I'm taking time out too. I've learnt my lesson, in more ways than one.
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Join Date: Dec 2015
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Synchronicity, the name of the game,
I think my post about the disease model and stuff was worth an informative tick, Dee. Left out a lot of stuff I know but still informative. Give a girl a break.
How do you disable that tick thing?
Have taken to a walk in the park and playing on the swings. Pushing upwards on the swings will strengthen my stomach muscles,and good aerobically. Got tangled on the monkey bars.
This is Southern Sydney, and used to be be big Aboriginal land. Still is in lots of ways.
Was thinking about you playing chess Miss P and wished that I could play. My son tells me that I'd make a good chess player, but I don't know. I can play Bridge and thought maybe a local Bridge Club? Bridge players can be pretty psycho. It's a great game.
So am starting an exercise regime, and pounding my diet. I did (re)lapse for the 3 days with cigarettes, but got back on the horse.
Just ate about an entire packet of parmison cheese. It's irresistible.
Come on Dee, give us a tick.
I think my post about the disease model and stuff was worth an informative tick, Dee. Left out a lot of stuff I know but still informative. Give a girl a break.
How do you disable that tick thing?
Have taken to a walk in the park and playing on the swings. Pushing upwards on the swings will strengthen my stomach muscles,and good aerobically. Got tangled on the monkey bars.
This is Southern Sydney, and used to be be big Aboriginal land. Still is in lots of ways.
Was thinking about you playing chess Miss P and wished that I could play. My son tells me that I'd make a good chess player, but I don't know. I can play Bridge and thought maybe a local Bridge Club? Bridge players can be pretty psycho. It's a great game.
So am starting an exercise regime, and pounding my diet. I did (re)lapse for the 3 days with cigarettes, but got back on the horse.
Just ate about an entire packet of parmison cheese. It's irresistible.
Come on Dee, give us a tick.
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