Class of October 2015 Part 6
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Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
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Yeah, all the alcohol in the world is not going to help you feel better Winslow.
Get back on the right road
I may have missed it, but have you considered seeing a Dr about your ill -health?
D
Get back on the right road
I may have missed it, but have you considered seeing a Dr about your ill -health?
D
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Join Date: Oct 2015
Posts: 506
Hi winslow, it's good to hear from you! I was getting worried. I agree with Dee- can you go see a doctor to figure out what's going on? There's got to be some relief for you, not in the form of alcohol. It's not the end of the world that you drank because I'm thinking that when that doesn't make you feel better, next time you feel bad you'll know alcohol won't help. Just get right back on the horse tomorrow! I really hope you feel better soon, winslow!!
Juno, I hope tonight goes well! Please do check in afterwards and let us know how it went!
I had a good news day. We are under contract for the house. Yay! My loan officer called today and said Arizona started a program yesterday to assist first time home buyers in buying foreclosed properties. They are offering down payment assistance- 10% of the contract price or $20,000 for the home buyer to purchase a foreclosed property. If the home buyer lives in the property for atleast 5 years, they do not have to pay the money back. They are doing this to get the foreclosures reabsorbed back into the market. She called me as soon as she left the meeting to tell me this program is perfect for me. I was dumbfounded. I was so amazed and grateful I had a hard time not crying. I said everything has to align perfectly for this to work out, and that just might happen. We are going over the paperwork tomorrow. This is another example of things working out differently than I pictured but better than I ever imagined. It reminds me of when a friend of mine used to tell me to work hard and sometimes you get lucky. I am just amazed right now.
Juno, I hope tonight goes well! Please do check in afterwards and let us know how it went!
I had a good news day. We are under contract for the house. Yay! My loan officer called today and said Arizona started a program yesterday to assist first time home buyers in buying foreclosed properties. They are offering down payment assistance- 10% of the contract price or $20,000 for the home buyer to purchase a foreclosed property. If the home buyer lives in the property for atleast 5 years, they do not have to pay the money back. They are doing this to get the foreclosures reabsorbed back into the market. She called me as soon as she left the meeting to tell me this program is perfect for me. I was dumbfounded. I was so amazed and grateful I had a hard time not crying. I said everything has to align perfectly for this to work out, and that just might happen. We are going over the paperwork tomorrow. This is another example of things working out differently than I pictured but better than I ever imagined. It reminds me of when a friend of mine used to tell me to work hard and sometimes you get lucky. I am just amazed right now.
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Join Date: Oct 2015
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Thank you, juno!! I'm glad you are doing well! Did you have fun?
Yall know I was having a rough week last week. I was struggling. Each morning I ask God to speak to me in ways that's I understand. I said yesterday it would take a miracle for this to work out. Today I got my miracle. And today the closing date was set for April 23rd. My 7th month sobriety date. I hear you God! Stay the course and keep the faith. So unbelievably grateful right now : )
Yall know I was having a rough week last week. I was struggling. Each morning I ask God to speak to me in ways that's I understand. I said yesterday it would take a miracle for this to work out. Today I got my miracle. And today the closing date was set for April 23rd. My 7th month sobriety date. I hear you God! Stay the course and keep the faith. So unbelievably grateful right now : )
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Join Date: Mar 2015
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I'm so happy for you, Grizzly! Things work in mysterious ways, don't they?
Winslow, I'm so sorry I missed that you had relapsed. I got back last night and was reading quickly and had lots going on. How are you today? I'm no stranger to relapse, so my thoughts are with you....
The truth is, I went to a wine bar with my (male) friend last night and wasn't able to resist the temptation. I shouldn't have agreed to meet him there, but I did. It was like I walked right into it. It's my fault for planning the whole thing, going through with it and not resisting the idea of drinking wine.
I'm going to journal some about it, where to go from here and will write more here when I've sorted through things. I'm resetting my sobriety "clock" and am shooting for a milestone of April 8th, which would be 30 days. I think I will do better with smaller goals right now rather than "forever" but of course the idea is to never have to crave or worry about drinking again. I'll try to sort through some of my thoughts and be back later...
Winslow, I'm so sorry I missed that you had relapsed. I got back last night and was reading quickly and had lots going on. How are you today? I'm no stranger to relapse, so my thoughts are with you....
The truth is, I went to a wine bar with my (male) friend last night and wasn't able to resist the temptation. I shouldn't have agreed to meet him there, but I did. It was like I walked right into it. It's my fault for planning the whole thing, going through with it and not resisting the idea of drinking wine.
I'm going to journal some about it, where to go from here and will write more here when I've sorted through things. I'm resetting my sobriety "clock" and am shooting for a milestone of April 8th, which would be 30 days. I think I will do better with smaller goals right now rather than "forever" but of course the idea is to never have to crave or worry about drinking again. I'll try to sort through some of my thoughts and be back later...
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Join Date: Mar 2015
Location: East Coast
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Hey guys - just checking in again.
I had a chance to journal a bit (started a new journal - one I got at Harry Potter land) and sorting some things out.
For a while I was on this line of thinking like, "I'm not an alcoholic. I don't need to TOTALLY give up drinking, I mean it's not like it has to be 100% abstinence and if I only have a couple of glasses of wine once a month that's fine..." I worked through those thoughts and came to the conclusion that I really do want abstinence and that's just crazy thinking to be going down that path of a couple of glasses of wine a month.... I mean the last time I drank in February I was vomitting every last bit from my stomach to be free of the poison of alcohol. And just because I did okay last night (two glasses with cheese, not real hangover though felt tired and crappy) - I got lucky and I should quit on this note. I did enjoy spending time with my friend but I know I can do that without alcohol - I just got nostalgic last night for the "good ole' days" (which became increasingly bad).
Anyways... my initial goal is 30 days and we'll take it from there. (Add another 30). For some reason that makes me feel like I can do it. I'm here, I'm ready and I like my sobriety date better this time (as hard as I tried, I could not get my hands around the Feb. 19th date. It wasn't that it was bad, it's just that I had a close childhood friend whose birthday that is and I couldn't think of the date and not think of her and her birthday, which was distracting). March 9th is a date with absolutely no significance for me, no attachments whatsoever, so it can work out just fine.
Aside from the drinking of the wine last night, I have bigger problems on my plate. My daughter is still heartbroken from her boyfriend breaking up with her. It hurts me to see her hurt. We've all been there and it ain't fun. And, I have an important meeting with the county school system on Friday about my son's education (high school placement) and I'm stressed to the max and just want it behind me. I'll get there.
Day 1, complete and I'm headed to bed.
I had a chance to journal a bit (started a new journal - one I got at Harry Potter land
) and sorting some things out.For a while I was on this line of thinking like, "I'm not an alcoholic. I don't need to TOTALLY give up drinking, I mean it's not like it has to be 100% abstinence and if I only have a couple of glasses of wine once a month that's fine..." I worked through those thoughts and came to the conclusion that I really do want abstinence and that's just crazy thinking to be going down that path of a couple of glasses of wine a month.... I mean the last time I drank in February I was vomitting every last bit from my stomach to be free of the poison of alcohol. And just because I did okay last night (two glasses with cheese, not real hangover though felt tired and crappy) - I got lucky and I should quit on this note. I did enjoy spending time with my friend but I know I can do that without alcohol - I just got nostalgic last night for the "good ole' days" (which became increasingly bad).
Anyways... my initial goal is 30 days and we'll take it from there. (Add another 30). For some reason that makes me feel like I can do it. I'm here, I'm ready and I like my sobriety date better this time (as hard as I tried, I could not get my hands around the Feb. 19th date. It wasn't that it was bad, it's just that I had a close childhood friend whose birthday that is and I couldn't think of the date and not think of her and her birthday, which was distracting). March 9th is a date with absolutely no significance for me, no attachments whatsoever, so it can work out just fine.
Aside from the drinking of the wine last night, I have bigger problems on my plate. My daughter is still heartbroken from her boyfriend breaking up with her. It hurts me to see her hurt. We've all been there and it ain't fun. And, I have an important meeting with the county school system on Friday about my son's education (high school placement) and I'm stressed to the max and just want it behind me. I'll get there.
Day 1, complete and I'm headed to bed.
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Join Date: Oct 2015
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Hi winslow! How are you?
Juno, sometimes I get into that internal debate too of am I really an alcoholic. I think I could debate that with myself ad nauseum and come up with an answer I like that is convenient. But I can't ignore the fact that I am so much better without alcohol in my life. I feel better, look better, make better decisions, I'm more present and productive and reliable, the list goes on and on. I'm better in every way without alcohol. I've wondered too if I can just drink sometimes, but then I will spend my self-imposed alcohol free time pining for the times I can drink. Knowing myself, if I have exceptions where I can drink sometimes, I will find more reasons to drink. If I can drink for this, I can drink for that too. Then I end up drinking more than I planned to and totally blow the deal I made with myself. That's what my history tells me.
I agee- start with manageable goals. Thirty days is a great goal, and no small feat!!
Juno, sometimes I get into that internal debate too of am I really an alcoholic. I think I could debate that with myself ad nauseum and come up with an answer I like that is convenient. But I can't ignore the fact that I am so much better without alcohol in my life. I feel better, look better, make better decisions, I'm more present and productive and reliable, the list goes on and on. I'm better in every way without alcohol. I've wondered too if I can just drink sometimes, but then I will spend my self-imposed alcohol free time pining for the times I can drink. Knowing myself, if I have exceptions where I can drink sometimes, I will find more reasons to drink. If I can drink for this, I can drink for that too. Then I end up drinking more than I planned to and totally blow the deal I made with myself. That's what my history tells me.
I agee- start with manageable goals. Thirty days is a great goal, and no small feat!!
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Join Date: Mar 2015
Location: East Coast
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Good morning guys - Day 2 and it's a beautiful day here in the DC area!
Winslow, I hope you're okay and check in today!
Grizzly, your last post made so much sense to me. I can relate to everything you said. It's all so true. I may or may not be an alcoholic depending on definitions, but what does it matter? The bottom line is that alcohol is a negative, addictive force in my life and causes a lot of distress. I'm soooooo much better without it - you are absolutely right, and I feel a million times better, too. I agree with you also about setting limits and stretching those limits and then breaking promises to yourself. I am *much* happier without alcohol and want to continue this journey!
So Dee, you are also absolutely correct - I need to work on my plan more! I did set up a binder and a plan after my last binge on Feb. 18th. And it was a good plan and guess what - I didn't drink at home since then! I realized, though, that my plan has some glaring holes. I failed to address SOCIAL SITUATIONS. There is nothing in my plan about social situations and alcohol and that's a big source of relapse for me (example, meeting up with friend at wine bar on a Tuesday night). So it's time to beef up the plan - make a part 2 involving dealing with alcohol in social situations. It's going to be more complicated than part 1 (which was just not drinking at home) because there are way more types of situations to deal with. But I can do this.
Today I have a lot going on. I did a HUGE grocery store run last night - I hadn't gone since we got back from Florida, so now we have food. It's amazing how that can affect your mood - just having a nice new batch of food in the house makes me feel good.
My dog is getting groomed right now, I have to take my younger son to school and get to work for a bit, then my older son is having his top braces put on. I am worried about this because he has autism and is going to have to deal with a major change. I have faith that he can do it, but it's going to cause some discomfort for him (and all of us) along the way. Aside from that, just trying to stay afloat with taking care of myself - I got too busy to take my Campral and need to do that again, and some exercise.
Okay - have a great Thursday all. Almost the weekend
Winslow, I hope you're okay and check in today!
Grizzly, your last post made so much sense to me. I can relate to everything you said. It's all so true. I may or may not be an alcoholic depending on definitions, but what does it matter? The bottom line is that alcohol is a negative, addictive force in my life and causes a lot of distress. I'm soooooo much better without it - you are absolutely right, and I feel a million times better, too. I agree with you also about setting limits and stretching those limits and then breaking promises to yourself. I am *much* happier without alcohol and want to continue this journey!
So Dee, you are also absolutely correct - I need to work on my plan more! I did set up a binder and a plan after my last binge on Feb. 18th. And it was a good plan and guess what - I didn't drink at home since then! I realized, though, that my plan has some glaring holes. I failed to address SOCIAL SITUATIONS. There is nothing in my plan about social situations and alcohol and that's a big source of relapse for me (example, meeting up with friend at wine bar on a Tuesday night). So it's time to beef up the plan - make a part 2 involving dealing with alcohol in social situations. It's going to be more complicated than part 1 (which was just not drinking at home) because there are way more types of situations to deal with. But I can do this.
Today I have a lot going on. I did a HUGE grocery store run last night - I hadn't gone since we got back from Florida, so now we have food. It's amazing how that can affect your mood - just having a nice new batch of food in the house makes me feel good.
My dog is getting groomed right now, I have to take my younger son to school and get to work for a bit, then my older son is having his top braces put on. I am worried about this because he has autism and is going to have to deal with a major change. I have faith that he can do it, but it's going to cause some discomfort for him (and all of us) along the way. Aside from that, just trying to stay afloat with taking care of myself - I got too busy to take my Campral and need to do that again, and some exercise.
Okay - have a great Thursday all. Almost the weekend
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Join Date: Mar 2015
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Hi again... just saying hello. I've had an exhausting day.
Dog grooming, kids to school, work, orthodontist for several hours to have son's braces put on.... YIKES! When I got home I wasn't craving wine - I just wanted to relax. Good for a change. I took a hot bubble bath and then just stretched because I was too tired for exercise or full yoga. Some days are just like that.
Lots happening - my son got into both schools he visited, which is great, but now we have to meet with the county tomorrow (stress!) I can tell you one thing - it would SUCK to go to this meeting hungover. Fortunately, that's not happening Also, we are looking into therapeutic boarding schools for my daughter. A bit daunting and draining, but hopefully we can make progress this week.
Only looking forward, not backward. Hope everyone is well.
Dog grooming, kids to school, work, orthodontist for several hours to have son's braces put on.... YIKES! When I got home I wasn't craving wine - I just wanted to relax. Good for a change. I took a hot bubble bath and then just stretched because I was too tired for exercise or full yoga. Some days are just like that.
Lots happening - my son got into both schools he visited, which is great, but now we have to meet with the county tomorrow (stress!) I can tell you one thing - it would SUCK to go to this meeting hungover. Fortunately, that's not happening
Also, we are looking into therapeutic boarding schools for my daughter. A bit daunting and draining, but hopefully we can make progress this week.Only looking forward, not backward. Hope everyone is well.
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Join Date: Oct 2015
Posts: 506
Good, Juno, I am so glad to hear you want to continue the sober journey!! It's full of pleasant surprises : ) That is a lot to get done today! You are so right- doing a school meeting with a hangover is awful! That is a lot of big stuff going on with your family right now. It really sounds like you're taking care of business and doing everything you can. And the things we can't do anything about work themselves out!
That is so funny you were at the dentist today too. My kiddo had his six month checkup. I was all tucked into my little chair there playing on the Xbox the whole time. I kept wondering if someone was going to say little girl, have you had your appointment yet? My kiddo had a gift card for Gamestop so we went to get a video game afterwards then we went to Candy World and got gummy coke bottles and next door for icecream. I felt like a kid this afternoon, it was fun! My son was like wow, this has been a really good day. That made me feel good : )
The girls at work today said they were going to try to get me to fall off the wagon. They said it jokingly, and they were like I don't think we're going to be able to get her to do it, and I wasn't really bothered, just surprised. Until today I hadn't had anyone outright say they wanted to see me slip up. It doesn't mean anything, but I'm typing it out on here because that's what happened today, and I'm surprised.
Winslow, we'd love to hear from you!!!
That is so funny you were at the dentist today too. My kiddo had his six month checkup. I was all tucked into my little chair there playing on the Xbox the whole time. I kept wondering if someone was going to say little girl, have you had your appointment yet? My kiddo had a gift card for Gamestop so we went to get a video game afterwards then we went to Candy World and got gummy coke bottles and next door for icecream. I felt like a kid this afternoon, it was fun! My son was like wow, this has been a really good day. That made me feel good : )
The girls at work today said they were going to try to get me to fall off the wagon. They said it jokingly, and they were like I don't think we're going to be able to get her to do it, and I wasn't really bothered, just surprised. Until today I hadn't had anyone outright say they wanted to see me slip up. It doesn't mean anything, but I'm typing it out on here because that's what happened today, and I'm surprised.
Winslow, we'd love to hear from you!!!
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Join Date: Mar 2015
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Sounds like a fun day with your son, Grizzly! Mine wasn't quite as fun and a lot more stressful. I hope my son can stand these braces - it's a huge adjustment for anyone, and especially a 14 year old with autism - I hope it's not too much for him. It was stressful dealing with him tonight but if he can hold out until it gets easier, he'll be doing a good thing for himself. Ah, parenting - I never thought it would be so hard!
Those co-workers of yours sound difficult - maybe just a little immature to be saying something like that? I hope it doesn't get to you - it seems like it isn't!
I hope Winslow checks in, too. The support here is awesome - especially when you're down in the dumps after a relapse. Okay, time to call it a day (a long one!)
Those co-workers of yours sound difficult - maybe just a little immature to be saying something like that? I hope it doesn't get to you - it seems like it isn't!
I hope Winslow checks in, too. The support here is awesome - especially when you're down in the dumps after a relapse. Okay, time to call it a day (a long one!)
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Join Date: Mar 2015
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I know!!! I'm soooo glad it's Friday. This has been a tough week! So happy for the weekend even though I have lots to catch up on - it's always good to have the time to catch up.
I'm off to my meeting in about 30 minutes. Got to throw on some clothes and look presentable. I can't imagine how difficult this would be with a hangover. Ugh, I hated those mornings! I am nervous about how it will go, but it's pretty much out of my control so why should I worry? Whatever will be will be.
I just realized that I timed my sobriety date to the new moon this time. I think that's cool. The new moon was at 8:55 pm on March 8th, and I had already finished drinking my wine by that point (we left around 7:15 pm). So I haven't had any alcohol in the new moon cycle....so silly, but this stuff is cool to me. I told this to my SMART meeting facilitator (that I'd like to time my sobriety date to the new moon) and he laughed and said that was ridiculous. I suppose it is, but I'm so into yoga and a little bit into astrology (not too much) so I like to think that it's meaningful in some way.
Have a wonderful Friday!
I'm off to my meeting in about 30 minutes. Got to throw on some clothes and look presentable. I can't imagine how difficult this would be with a hangover. Ugh, I hated those mornings! I am nervous about how it will go, but it's pretty much out of my control so why should I worry? Whatever will be will be.
I just realized that I timed my sobriety date to the new moon this time. I think that's cool. The new moon was at 8:55 pm on March 8th, and I had already finished drinking my wine by that point (we left around 7:15 pm). So I haven't had any alcohol in the new moon cycle....so silly, but this stuff is cool to me. I told this to my SMART meeting facilitator (that I'd like to time my sobriety date to the new moon) and he laughed and said that was ridiculous. I suppose it is, but I'm so into yoga and a little bit into astrology (not too much) so I like to think that it's meaningful in some way.
Have a wonderful Friday!
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Join Date: Oct 2015
Location: Las Vegas
Posts: 1,486
Hey guys, I'm ok,shakey and sweaty but that's what I get,after drinking Tuesday, I drank again Wednesday all day,took yesterday off to detox,couldn't handle it so I drank again just to try and get the shakes down,it didn't work I just ended up drunk again, please protect your quit people,its too hard to feel good about yourself after a relapse,I was so proud of my4 months,now I hafta start over again, Grizzly, wonderful news on the house,Juno,I'm into mooncycles too😊
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Join Date: Mar 2015
Location: East Coast
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Winslow, I'm so sorry!! Get back on the sober train with us. I don't have much experience with detox because I'd just power through every hangover I had and not drink the next day. But others can help!!
I'm drained!!! I had another exhausting day. The meeting was unbelievably stressful and I came out with a pounding headache. HOWEVER, we got the result that we wanted so it was all worth it. Now we have a choice of a few schools for my son for high school. We've narrowed it down to two and he was accepted at both so now I've got another kind of stress. How to choose which school? They're both wonderful. I've decided to let everything settle for a few days and not make a quick decision because it's such an important decision that will affect his next several years! Yikes, I almost wish he only got into one of the schools and the decision would be made for us.
Well, the week is done and I'm ready for the weekend - lots of sleep, getting stuff done around the house, TV and movies, and yoga 3 days in a row.
Hope everyone has a good Friday!
I'm drained!!! I had another exhausting day. The meeting was unbelievably stressful and I came out with a pounding headache. HOWEVER, we got the result that we wanted so it was all worth it. Now we have a choice of a few schools for my son for high school. We've narrowed it down to two and he was accepted at both so now I've got another kind of stress. How to choose which school? They're both wonderful. I've decided to let everything settle for a few days and not make a quick decision because it's such an important decision that will affect his next several years! Yikes, I almost wish he only got into one of the schools and the decision would be made for us.
Well, the week is done and I'm ready for the weekend - lots of sleep, getting stuff done around the house, TV and movies, and yoga 3 days in a row.
Hope everyone has a good Friday!
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Join Date: Oct 2015
Posts: 506
Juno, congratulations!! That is wonderful!! That's a good idea to let it all settle after the anxiety today and make the decision in a few days. It was stressful, but you got 'er done. Good for you : ) That is great news!!
Winslow, it's so great to hear from you!! I'm sorry you're still not feeling well. I really appreciate your post. I would do the same thing too, and that's what scares me. I know I would drink enough to feel bad the next day, and I know I could fix that (delay the inevitable) by drinking again the next day so I would- early. Then I'd feel bad so I'd drink again the next day... It is a vicious cycle. The good news is you know you can quit. We know you can too, and we're so happy to have you here : ) I'm really glad you came back to us. Hang in there, Winslow!!!
Winslow, it's so great to hear from you!! I'm sorry you're still not feeling well. I really appreciate your post. I would do the same thing too, and that's what scares me. I know I would drink enough to feel bad the next day, and I know I could fix that (delay the inevitable) by drinking again the next day so I would- early. Then I'd feel bad so I'd drink again the next day... It is a vicious cycle. The good news is you know you can quit. We know you can too, and we're so happy to have you here : ) I'm really glad you came back to us. Hang in there, Winslow!!!
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