Juno11

Hi all - I'm happy today! I wish I could feel this way more of the time!

I feel optimistic and excited. It' s just about spring and the long winter is over. We got the stressful meeting over with and the outcome I wanted. I went to yoga this morning and it felt great. I'm back on track with life, working out, and sobriety. Feeling good!

I hope everyone has a nice weekend!!

grizzlybearblue

Winslow, I hope you are feeling better today!
Juno, you sound great! That is awesome!!
I had a pretty laid back day today. We had a few errands to run. Everything is moving forward smoothly with the house, and it does not have a fridge so we looked at refrigerators today. There is a Samsung fridge that is a thing of beauty. Wow, that thing was impressive. Definitely on the pricey side, so I am going to just tuck that away in my mind and revisit it if/when we close on the house. My kiddo just left for a movie, and I am at home in my jammies about to watch basketball. Nice : )
I had a text from my drug dealer today that he was heading out west and wanted to stop by to see me, but he got dope sick in Texas and ended up driving back home to Memphis. He gets dope sick and then looks to me for support to try to help him through. I am fine to offer support, but I am over trying to save him. The brief conversation today made me so grateful to be where I am now. I told him life is amazing when you can get beyond all of that stuff, and he can join me on the sober side whenever he's ready.

Juno11

Hi all, just a quick check in. We've got a rainy day here so it's a little depressing, but I'm continuing to be in a good mood, so that's good. Every day can't be sunny, right?

Not much to report - no cravings, nothing. Just living life, went to yoga, journalling and taking care of the kids and business at home. Things could be a lot worse!

Grizzly, glad you weren't bothered or tempted by the contact from your drug dealer. Best to stay away from the likes of him. My dealer was the neighborhood wine store, which is still very much in business and less than 1/4 mile from my house. But it only led to bad behavior on my part and a lot of vomitting, and that's what I've got to remember.

Have a nice end of the weekend - Winslow, hope you're feeling better.

grizzlybearblue

Juno, it sounds like you've had a nice weekend! Winslow, how's your weekend been?
I slept in til 10:30, but I've been productive ever since. I went for a run at about noon today. This time of year it is so windy here. Last year I would get so mad about it and be cussing. I dreaded running outside. Now I'm like alright, bring it on! I look at it as resistance training, and I'm just glad to be running outside on a nice day. I was getting ready to go grocery shopping, and I put on a shirt I haven't worn since I was 25. Seven years! Because it didn't fit me anymore : ( But now it does again : ) I'm so excited!

Juno11

Great news, Grizzly! Now that the weather is warming up I'm *finally* motivated to get in shape! It's like all winter I was hibernating and getting fatter and not even caring. Now I care and I'm motivated! I don't need any silly Nutrisystem diets - I can just do this on my own. I heard a commercial yesterday for Nutrisystem and they mentioned how long it would take to lose your "first ten pounds." I was thinking to myself - I'm 105 pounds, if I lost my first 10 pounds I'd be 95 pounds. That's kind of thin. I'm not a candidate for Nutrisystem. I just need to exercise, get fit and eat well. I'm motivated!!!

Have an AWESOME Monday, all. My positive vibe is continuing!!!

grizzlybearblue

I hope everyone had a good Monday!
I've had a good day. We were pretty busy at work today, but I was really focused and calm and got all of my stuff done early. My kiddo's swim practice starts an hour and a half earlier now so Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays I have to leave an hour earlier than usual. I know I have to be really focused to get everything done and leave early on those days. I had a really nice run while he was swimming then we actually ate dinner at 7:00! Usually on swim practice nights we don't eat until 9. This new schedule takes a little adjusting, but it's really nice to have some extra time at night to get dinner dishes cleaned up and relax a little.
I've felt very peaceful today, it's been nice. I decided awhile ago that if I'm not going to drink or do drugs, I'm going to go for everything else that I want. Why not?! The possibilities are only limited by how big I can dream. It's really exciting to feel that way. I am approaching six months, and in those almost six months I have:
- regained my health
- regained my energy
- earned trust from my son
- made arrangements to get him to the leadership course in DC
- learned to like me again
- got my chemical peel I've wanted for years
- lost 9 pounds
- worked toward closing on my first house (hopefully!)
So I'm thinking, wow if I can do all that in six months, what can I do in longterm sobriety?!! The possibilities are endless, and that is so exciting to me!!

Juno11

Wow!!! Those are some amazing achievments, Grizzly! You sound great! It's nice to list and notice the benefits you are getting. Yayyyyy!!!

I'm doing okay this morning. It's gray and cool and drizzly (the not so nice side of spring) but I know it will lead to better weather soon. It's been tough with the time change and I can't seem to get going in the morning because it's an hour earlier. My kids are affected, too. We'll adjust but it will take a few days. I can't wait for spring break when I get a break from school and will just have work. That sounds good to me. Getting the kids ready for and through school is sooooo much work!! Spring break is coming!

As for alcohol, no thoughts, nothing. It's like it's missing in action - good riddance! I feel strong and hope those thoughts never come back. To be honest, when I drank those 2 glasses with my friend last week it was more out of habit than a real craving - but still, have to beef up my plan so that I don't get myself into a situation like that again.

Okay, Tuesday - bring it on.

Juno11

p.s. Hope Winslow posts soon. It has been just me and you, Grizzly, for a while and that keeps me going - don't want to leave you all alone here!!!

grizzlybearblue

Lol, don't leave me here all alone, juno!! I'm so glad you're sticking around : ) Hopefully we'll hear from Winslow today. Midton said he'd be back after seven weeks...
I hope you have a great Tuesday!

Winslow

Hey guys,I'm not sure about posting here anymore😠 I'm not part of the October class of quitters anymore, now I'm a March quitter I guess,so depressing cuz I was proud of my quit date!! Guess I should have thought of that first

Juno11

Winslow, I hope you change your mind - or else it will be the Grizzly and Juno show!! Keep in mind I have a sobriety date in March, too, and I don't think it matters about the name of the thread. In my opinion, it's where you develop bonds and not whether your sobriety date matches the name of the thread. However, if you need more support than we can give you, there's always the March 2016 group!

I went to my SMART meeting tonight. It was good, but I felt like some people don't like me there .... which kind of makes me feel negative about my support group. I don't know, maybe I'm just being overly sensitive. Time to shake it off and try going back next week. I think it will be easier if I go every week and have sober week after sober week and I'm not such a source of controversy.

Time to call it a day. I'm still feeling pretty strong, just tired!!

Winslow

Juno,I'll still post here,I guess I just feel funny cuz starting on this thread was my"fresh start" now I've mucked it up,I guess out of 140 some odd days 3 days of drinking isn't too bad but its not what I wanted for me,sorry you feel like some of your group don't like you,just figure we can't please everyone right? The heck with them, their loss

Juno11

I'm glad you're going to keep posting, Winslow. You've acheived an awful lot with 140 days sober and you should feel really proud of that. We're all human and noone is perfect (least of all me) and I understand the feeling of mucking it up, but really - you should be proud of yourself and for getting back at it after the relapse!

I'm determined to make this my last relapse and I crawled back to the meeting with my tail between my legs and fessed up to having wine with my friend last week. It's hard to do that. And of course you get criticism, even if not intentional, so naturally I start to feel like people don't like me. It's probably me being overly sensitive, so I will go back next week and give it another go.

Tonight there was a guy at the meeting who drank a glass of wine at an event when his wife wasn't looking and didn't even feel guilty about it - just happy he got away with it. And there are a few people who only stopped drinking because of their wives and may in fact drink if they didn't have the wife around to watch over them. So I guess I have to feel good that I'm doing this for myself, no one else but me, no one looking over me to keep me in line - it's all my choice and my decision because I know drinking is bad for me. I guess we all are at these meetings for different reasons - I try not to judge others and I hope they do the same for me.

Time to hit the sack for real this time. Can't believe it's only Tuesday. This week is going mega slowly!!!

Dee74

There's nothing wrong at all with you still posting here Winslow

Having said that, I hope you'll at least check the March group out as well.

Not only is it good for you to shake things up a bit, and be with folks around the same point as yourself, but you have experience that may help other newcomers too?

totally your call tho

D

grizzlybearblue

Heck no 3 out of 140 days isn't bad, Winslow! We were daily drinkers so that achievement amazing!! Do not take away from what you did in those 140 days because that is a huge accomplishment. Remember when one day seemed impossible?! I agree with everything that's been said. I'd love to see you stay with us but only if you're comfortable with that. I think doing the march group and our group is a good idea. Not to guilt you at all, but I'd feel like it was a breakup if you left us. Yall are like my significant others : ) you know how my day was and what's going on with me. I look forward to checking in everyday and hearing how yours and juno's day was.
Juno, sorry to hear you got a kind of yucky vibe from your group today : ( If you get something good out of the group overall then I agree with winslow- keep going back and to heck with the people that want to be judgmental. Throwing stones from a glass house is never a good idea.
I am tired. I had my home inspection today, and that went well, but it's a little overwhelming to me. I picked up my kiddo afterwards and got home and ran. Running is what I've been doing to clear my head, and I am so glad that is my go to coping mechanism now!

Juno11

Good morning guys - hoping for a good day. I'm a little worried about traffic today because they closed the entire metro rail system for maintenance. Hmmmm... they couldn't do that on a Saturday??? Traffic is going to be a mess without our mass transit system in place. Not sure if I'm going to brave going into the office or just work from home. Will think it over.

Winslow, I regularly read the new comers thread month - whether it's January, February, March etc. It helps me to see others in the same place. But I only post here because it's easier for me to post in one place you guys know me It's totally your call, but there's nothing wrong with posting in two places!

I think I was being overly sensitive about the meeting last night. I think I will feel a whole lot more confident if I can go into a meeting and say, "I haven't had anything to drink since I was here last." That's my goal for next week, and I know it will be a lot easier. They are a nice bunch - I think they were just offering constructive criticism. If I don't agree with everything they say, I guess that's okay.

Have a great Wednesday, everyone!

Winslow

Hey all,I don't see a March 2016 class,its ok,fog is clearing, I'm never going back,how stupid I am each time to think its gonna be any different, its always the same old,same old,hope all are well

Juno11

You are so right, Winslow. It really is the same old, same old. When I last relapsed when out w/ my friend I was struck at how easily the first glass of wine went down and how quickly I wanted another. That doesn't seem to change no matter how long you stay off of it, does it.

FYI, the March 2016 thread is in the Newcomers section, not the Newcomers Daily Thread section.... but I'm glad you decided to stick with us!!

I found some cool aps on my phone that have to do with sobriety and milestones and all that, and they are keeping me motivated. I love seeing progress with visual stuff and they help a lot!

I had a stressful day. Not the worst, but certainly not nearly the best. I was so sick of therapy by the end of the day - yesterday I went to my psychiatrist AND a SMART meeting (that I'm still feeling yucky about) and today my son's therapy and my daughter had a psychiatrist appointment, too. I was feeling so worn down that I asked my ex to take my daughter tonight - it's a win-win - he gets time with her and gets in the loop more and I get a little break. Man, I just want to have fewer appointments in my life. I would stop the psychiatrist but he's the one who prescribes the Campral and Gabapentin that helps me a lot. So.... I keep going.

I hope the week takes a turn for the better tomorrow - it's been going downhill since it started on Monday!!

grizzlybearblue

Winslow, I think it's a good thing to see that even after a long time away from drinking, the same thing that always happens happens again quickly. It was a learning experience for you, and you bounced back quickly! I'm glad to hear the fog is clearing. I did not have a good brain day today. For about two weeks I was having a really hard time concentrating then the last week I was sharp then today foggy again. I was like ok, you know this will pass...
Juno, that is a lot of appointments! Hang in there! We're on the down slope of the week now!
I am so tired. It was a long, hot day in the field. I managed to muster up the energy for a short run, make dinner, clean that up, and do a load of laundry. I have to crash now.

Juno11

Hey guys - it's a beautiful Thursday morning (YAY for Thursday!!) and I just went for a morning walk with my dog. The sun is shining and the birds are chirping and it feels like spring. Every day is another day to start fresh, right? I'm excited we're on the down slope of the week heading toward the weekend. I have to head into the office today for a lot of work, but I'm okay with that. I have to do my taxes this weekend and I have to make sure all my work is done before the weekend so I don't have that hanging over my head as well.

I'm reading this book called Unwasted: My Lush Sobriety and it's kind of interesting. Last night I read this part of the book that really resonated with me and I'll quote it here:

"Though I already knew the terrible satisfaction of drinking alone, some part of me still craved that human connection. Already living underwater, I grabbed at other people's legs as they swam by and tried to pull them down with me."

This reminded me of how I used to drink alone, then not really want to be alone and then log into Facebook to interact with others. Because I was drinking, I would lash out at different people and cause arguments on purpose. This quote just really made sense to me. I'm so glad to be over that. I created a new Facebook account and have vowed to keep it a sober account and beyond that, EVERYTHING that I post will be positive. No more complaining, no more whining. I'm going to be a beacon of positivity. I'll still whine here - have to have a place to vent, right?

Have a great day!!! Happy St. Patrick's Day! I'm mostly Irish and I don't think I have anything green to wear! My favorite color is black