sydneyman

Monday morning in my neck of the woods. Day 12 today. It was so hard to get up this morning. My partner does gym mon.wed,fri and gets up at 430am. I should join him but as its so dark I want to sleep.
So I am Eurovisioned out for another year, Ukraine won and it was a good song. Usually this competition has a political undertone. Australia did well came second!!! and not even part of Europe. Go figure.

Funny, I don't have a sweet tooth at all, give me all the cheeses, salamis etc. and I am in heaven. Savoury for me all the way. Although ice cream I do like and when I have it very rarely I eat a whole bucket in one go.
Winslow hope that cold doesn't get worse so pick a good movie and relax and keep hydrated.
Juno- well done on day 8..You sound so much better.. Keep going... That jalapeno dressing sounds so good. Need to google a recipe.
Grizz- extra cash is always a nice surprise. Use it on yourself as a reward. I have fillers about every 9 months and botox to keep my face smooth. I want to look natural and fresh and its not the cheapest. Some people may gag at it but its my own choice and I chose to do what I want.
Well it sounds like everybody is well, apart from Winslow's cold.
Hey Midton- how was your weekend??
Getting ready for work and another working week starts.
Oh I forgot, I had a dream, a drinking dream where I woke up with a hangover, still in my dream. Then I really woke up and was so glad that it was a dream after all. Hope that makes sense.
Have a great Monday!!

Dee74

Have a good week guys - get well soon winslow

D

Midton

Sorry for not popping in. I seem to have developed a new hobby and hopefully a new healthy addiction.

Basically I've been periscoping all weekend. I did go for a walk up a local mountain and started periscoping it. Then I went to a car shop to buy an iPhone holder for my car. Then I drove around my town periscoping. Basically did the same yesterday and this morning. I'll do more this afternoon at a break during work. There are some really interesting scopes. I'm totally engrossed by it.

I truly sort of forgot about this site which I know is never a good thing. I happily busy though and the cravings are nowhere to be found. Work will probably change this though.

sydneyman

Love it D ������������

Juno11

Hi guys, I woke up in a foul mood. Rather than try to analyze why I'm in such a bad mood, I'm just going to try to let it go and snap out of it. It doesn't seem to be related to anything in particular, so probably best to let it go.

Midton, I'm glad you checked in. I have to admit I had no idea what this new hobby was of yours. I had to Google it and still don't quite understand it! (Time for another cup of coffee). Still, I'm glad you found a new hobby that you enjoy.

I'm in the process of finding new hobbies (or rediscovering old ones). I've never been a person that is bored with life - in fact, I'm the opposite. I like too many things and have to narrow them down to the things I TRULY want to do. This weekend I rediscovered watching TV. For a long time I have denied myself pleasures that other people enjoy - such as lying down to rest when tired, resting to watch a movie or TV show, and all of a sudden I realized what I was doing. I was denying these things to myself because I felt as though I always had to be "working" or "doing something productive." I had a good weekend because I built in plenty of downtime in addition to doing the things I needed to do. I'm learning to do the things I want to do and skip the things that are draining me.

Re: those 2 guys who were trying to drain my time away, I'm getting so much smarter. I sat down to watch a movie on Saturday night, the first break I had had all day and my phone rang. It was that stupid neighbor guy, calling again on a Saturday night. When is he gonna learn I'm not interested? Did not pick up, did not call back and didn't give it a thought the rest of the weekend. Also, exBF whom I blocked on my iPhone and ***** actually sent me an email in the middle of last week. It went to my SPAM folder, where it belongs. It was the same old crap, "boo hoo... I haven't heard from you and just wanted to make sure you're okay...." See I am in a foul mood I just looked at it and said, "You belong in spam." Healthy Juno moving ahead.

I guess I'm on Day 9. I heard some disturbing news yesterday. One of my Facebook friends died. She was 50. The circumstances surrounding her death are very vague and murky. Everyone is asking what happened. I think I know what happened. I heard from someone a few years ago (I think it was my Mom) that she was an alcoholic. I don't know all the particulars about her, how bad off she was, etc. but I did hear that rumor. And now she is gone. Just like that. I'm a little ashamed that I went for that "last binge" last weekend. You never know when it's going to kill you. Sorry for the not so upbeat post - I guess we can't always be happy, right? Or else the truly happy moments wouldn't mean anything.

Okay, off to my Monday.

Winslow

Hey all,Juno,you brought up a good point,although not a happy one but true,we never know when a drink session will kill us,it could be a fall,choking on vomit,liver/kidney failure, a stroke or heart attack, etc,sorry for your loss and sometimes I wake up in a pissy mood but as the day goes on it dissipates, Midton,a hobby that keeps you occupied is great😊 Sydney, I seen highlights from Eurovision on one of the gossip shows I watch,Grizz,hope you had anice weekend,have a great day all😊

Juno11

Hey guys, my day hasn't started to improve yet so I just needed a place to vent.

I just deleted my Facebook account, AGAIN. I can't stand it anymore. SR is good, Facebook is bad. I had a picture of my daughter's prom from Saturday night and I was so proud and happy for her. I posted it because other parents were posting their prom pictures and I wanted to show my daughter off (she looked super cute I thought). Well, I got some nice likes from female friends but a couple of my male friends made some snarky remarks and it really hurt my feelings. I hate people. If they only knew the trouble I have gone through to get my daughter to this point - where she can be with other teens and happy in a photo - and then to have people criticize it. What is wrong with people?? I immediately deleted my account and did not respond to the snarky messages/comments. Facebook does nothing but get under my skin and it's about time I stop trying there. Those people don't deserve to be able to see my family's photos or whatever - they are precious to me (the photos).

I feel good about this decision. If I ever need a Facebook account such as to see photos from my kids' schools, etc. I will create a new one and just have no friends on it - just to be able to access information.

Ugh, I just hate this day so far. I took my dog to the vet and tried to deal with the aggression, and now I'm off to work. Hope fully things will start to improve.

sydneyman

Juno- doesn't sound like a good start. I'm in 2 minds with FB. Ys its handy to keep in touch specially with people living overseas etc. but at the same time am I really interested in what someone just had for dinner or that they are going to bed. No not really. My partner calls it the brag book. People brag and show off, that's very true as well.
Sorry about your friend, 50 and to pass away is way to early, that's my age. I am certainly not ready yet. They say the 50's is the prime. I guess they say that for every decade which you fit into to. But no, she was too young.
Keep the guys in the trashcan. Just delete.
Midton- what an unusual hobby, I think it sounds great, periscoping!! What do you look at. Just on top of a hill looking at the far horizon? Enlighten me.
Winslo- hope that cold is going. Glad somebody knows what Eurovision is about. Have had to talk about it at work all day yesterday. Glad its only on once a year ..

Day 13 for me today. The time is going faster now as the days add up. Slept well but last night I had some sort of nightmares. Cant remember what.
When my mother passed away in March when I was home I went through lots of old photos and found a diary that my mother had kept when she first visited me here in Australia 15 years ago. I took all these with me back home. I started reading her diary yesterday, its taken me all this time to be ready to read it. It was so nice to read her thoughts and see her hand writing. She was 54 when she came here the first time. I was 35...I am so glad I found it and kept it. There are still so many things that I have to go through paper wise when I go back to Finland. I am not planning to go back until next year.
Sobriety is good. I have found how quiet I am. I am not a scatter brain all over the shop but composed and "quiet". I am more in control, have more patience and just more focused. My desire and/or need for alcohol has completely gone. I have had no "real" cravings. The thought of drinking crosses my mind every day in a way that: OK I don't chose/cant drink rather than I have to have a drink. The have to haves are gone. Its like when I quit smoking. The need for a cigarette is gone but the thought is there., it pops up now and then.. I just need to get back into walking again. Weather report says sunny on the weekend so the plan is to start Saturday morning.
Ok people, Tuesday morning let the day begin. Enjoy your evening/day !!!

Midton

I'm up at some ungodly hour. Can't sleep, or rather did sleep pretty well, but have been tossing and turning since the back of three.

Juno, I'm pretty shocked that someone would make negative comments about a child on Facebook. I can understand online sentiment being misunderstood and I've had experience of people (only once I think) being drunk and abusive but I simply don't get plain, rotten vindictiveness. I would be so angry, hurt and vengeful.

As for periscope, it's live online streaming. Everyone who scopes from my home country seems to do it drunk or high. It is also full of trolls and weird people, I wouldn't let my daughter do it unsupervised. I'm lucky that I scope from Japan and I get lots of people interested in Japan asking questions.

Syd, Eurovision was massive when I was young and the U.K. always did well. They the whole thing became very anti-uk. I'm pretty sure the waterboys, an Irish band won it and they are fantastic.

Winslow, I do have a fear of dying and even of bad health and this is a strong motivating factor for me to be sober. I've only really had two close friends die and both were alcohol related. One was blood poisoning after pancreatitis and the other was suicide after he lost everything due to drinking. Best to nip it in the bud.

And a shout out to Griz.

Midton

Syd,

On periscope I tent to get involved in political discussion and Japan related scopers. I also like to watch scopes from my home country. I initially started by chance. I wanted to watch a football match which wasn't on to or online and on a forum someone said they would scope it. I love how you can go all over the world, bar North Korea and get a glimpse of places and cultures I'd never experience.

At the weekend I spent hours listening to a (tipsy) air traffic controller talk about his job and answer questions, I watched a card magician do tricks and got involved in numerous Japan scopes.

As for myself. I scoped from the top of the mountain I climbed and interacted with people from all over the world. They I scoped driving around my town. Yesterday I had a break from work and did a little Q & A about Japan and my job. I was going to scope my school run this morning but it raining so I probably won't.

As you can see I'm engrossed by it all.

sydneyman

Midton- i need to google all this, totally new to me

Juno11

Same for me Sydneyman - new to me, too!

I have been sort of self-absorbed lately and I apologize! Grizzly, congrats on the extra $400. Treat yourself to something you love - you deserve it!!!

So re: the Facebook thing, it is a real brag book and I cannot stand it. The minute I put up one photo of my kid at prom, I didn't like the response and I shut it all down. The problem with me is that I can't go on Facebook without friending certain people from my hometown, and then I have to friend more people that they know, etc. Next thing I know I'm accepting every friend request from every John, Joe and Charlie around - some of whom I have absolutely nothing in common with and never would hang out with in real life.

The two guys who commented negatively today on my daughter's prom pictures are two of those "hometown guys." And I would consider these two to be two decent friends. One of them had comments that were not nearly as bad as the other, but on top of the other one I took great offense. He commented on the clothing that some of the boys in the photo were wearing for the prom. A couple of boys were on the casual side, but this is a boarding school and an alternative one at that, so there're not all going to have tuxes in their closet. I was offended because the picture itself was beautiful, even magical and the kids all looked so happy ... and to make a comment about the boys' clothing? How petty.

It reminds me of an aunt of mine. I sent a photo of my daughter looking happy and healthy recently and she took it as opportunity to criticize my daughter's makeup in other pictures (she perferred the more natural look in this one). What a petty, backhanded compliment. Fortunately, my mother would NEVER do anything like that - this is her sister who is a lot more shallow and difficult.

Anyway, the other guy who made a comment made a much more lewd and upsetting comment about one of the boys in the picture. I'm not sure what he was even saying, but I didn't want to know and I didn't appreciate it. These are my daughter's friends and to make a lewd comment about a high school kid is gross and off limits. Needless to say I did not even respond to him. What a jerk. I can't believe I even once considered dating this guy. Phew... that was a close call and what a mistake that would have been. This guy has no kids himself so has no understanding of what it is to be a parent, no sensitivity to maybe I didn't want to hear that. This guys is also on my **** list for a couple of other things he has done recently, but this was by far the worst.

I saw my psychiatrist today and it helped. I talked to him about the dog issues at home and it really kind of helped. So maybe he's good for more than just prescribing meds.

Have a wonderful evening everyone (or morning or whatever!)

sydneyman

Juno- my motto, got nothing nice to say say nothing at all.. Those guys are jus jerks. They are the ones looking like complete fools.. This stuff infuriates me.. I hope you didnt comment. Not worth it. They just broadcasted to the world their personalities..
Your aunt sounds like a bitter woman as well.. We cant chose family but we can control how much we have to do with them right..
Ok will check in later

Winslow

Hey all,Facebook is only good for seeing pics of my family that live in my hometown and for spying on my kids and yes I do care about peoples food haha but I don't care for, if your my true friend share this and that,or snide comments on pics like poor Juno had to deal with, totally unacceptable! G-son acting up so I'll bid adieu for now😊

Juno11

Thanks, Sydneyman! Your words mean a lot to me

My aunt does have a lot of issues. She's my godmother, too, so she likes to think of me as special. Fortunately she's not my Mom - my Mom has her priorities straight.

The last few weeks have been overly drama filled and difficult. I wish we could just all get along and be nice to each other!! I found out today that my younger son is having some major school issues. My Mom said to me, "Why can't you just get a break." I agree.

Juno11

Thank you, too, Winslow. You guys are all awesome.

grizzlybearblue

Dee, I love your new quote! That is hilarious : )
Midton, I am not familiar with periscoping at all. It sounds really interesting. Good for you you've found something you're really into! That is awesome!
Winslow, I hope you're feeling better!
Sydneyman, you sound great! You're almost at two weeks now!!!
Juno, I'm sorry to hear about the inappropriate comments. That sounds downright despicable. We here know how hard you've worked to get your daughter to a place where she is healthy and happy. And now she is! And that is what matters. For the people that don't even seem to have a shred of decency- that's on them not on you. I am very excited for your daughter!
I'm a bit frazzled today. I had a drinking dream last night that involved my mom encouraging me to drink. And in my dream I did drink and was wondering why I thought I had a problem with it. It was very realistic and disturbing. My house is in complete disarray with the carpet people coming tomorrow, my kiddo is sick, I need to get my car fixed, and the work I'm doing on my pool has to be done at specific times (add stuff, wait 5 minutes, add stuff wait 12 hours, add stuff check the filter, add stuff wait 12 hours). Yep, a bit overwhelmed right now. I'm going to run for a bit to clear my head.

Juno11

Thanks Grizzly, and you too Midton. You guys all help me to feel better!

Sorry for everything you're dealing with right now Grizzly - that is a LOT. But you're doing great and an inspiration to us all here!

My son and I just watched a YouTube movie and it's just about time to call it a day. I need yoga again - hopefully sometime tomorrow. Night all!

Dee74

I hope things look up in a few days Grizz.

Don;t worry about the dreams too much - I still dream of high school - but I don't want to go back there

Night Juno

D

Dee74

Time for a new thread

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...-part-7-a.html

D