Loftypofty

Day 4 almost over for me in Australia ... Been for a. 40km cycle ... Ate healthy again today so feeling great.

Friday night is a risk night. My wife will pick me up straight from work and take me to the cinema so will cut right thought my trigger period. More excercise planned for Saturday and have plans to keep myself busy all weekend.

Well dine everyone .. Let's get through the weekend together !

Cheers

JamesSquire

JL2014 ... That's a bummer!
Hope things get better for you, hope your pantry's full.

AV was hitting me on and off all day today. Listened to Reggae music on my long drive today. Forgot how relaxing it is.

Still really tired, nearly 8pm and I have to fast for the rest of the night as I have a routine blood test in the morning. Hope my liver is good.

Day 7 ends, Good night Februarians see you in the morning.

JSquire

Dee74

It took me a long time to get out of nickel and dime poverty but I did JL.

You just have to keep hacking your way through.

To state the obvious, not buying stuff like booze or cigarettes really helps for starters.

One of those free websites that help you budget might be of use -

http://twocents.lifehacker.com/how-t...oke-1561620381

http://www.goodfinancialcents.com/be...dgeting-tools/

if you have an idea of when planned things are coming up, and be ready for them, it might help give you a little leeway with unplanned things?

D

forabetterlife

So many awesome posts to catch up on..
I don't have much time write this morning plus a really crappy thing happened last night. My 18 year old has been borrowing my laptop a lot this week bc her phone is broke. So last night she goes to take it in her room, trips over the wire, it falls and breaks. Totally done. That laptop was such a sobriety tool for me in many ways--- my journal, i was just starting a sobriety blog, I've only had it for 3 months. I am forever broke so I am so mad, so stuck. Of course I yelled at her and she feels so bad and now I feel bad. My first thought was .. Screw this, I'm drinking on Friday for sure now.
But no... I'm putting it in perspective. It's not the end of the world. This is her lesson... She is careless at times and maybe this is what she needed to get her to slow down and pay more attention before something worse happens and she gets hurt. It's not about me. I will figure out my laptop. And I will stay sober.
I have the worst memory and I have the hardest time responding to posts on my phone bc I can't look back at names or anything. So forgive me for that until I figure this out....

JL2014

Thanks Dee. I'm gonna check em out today.
FBL , I have that alcoholic memory. Have to write stuff down or it goes poof.

Stubbs16

Good morning! Its good for me, because Im not hungover, for starters. Day one is done.

Wow, so many posts. See familiar names, and many new ones.

JL, sorry about your finances. Mine are pretty tight too. For instance, my stove quit last week, so cant bake or broil anything. Hubs can fix it, we just dont have the extr cash right now. My car is still needing a radiator, but saving for that as well. The list goes on and on too. Could you possibly get emergency help from a local food pantry? Most churches have them, and would be happy to help in a pinch. Just a thought.

Fabl, sorry bout tht laptop. Thats exactly the kind of thinking I have when things go wrong, like Im just gonna drink now, screw it all. Messed up thinking, for sure . That av will use any opportunity, good or bad. Its going to be a real challenge to change that , but its possible. Good on you for kicking those thoughts to the curb!

James S, congrats on a week and good luck at the docs.

Jeni, I remember you. I hope your anxiety eases up. Staying busy is good, I agree with that.

Well, on to day two. Im still not feeling chipper, but who would after what Ive been doing to my body? Plus, each recovery seems to take longer these days. Besides, Im older now too. It all factors in. No danger today of drinking, but those thoughts will come again in a few days. I just have to work thru it. I know I can do this. I just have to tap into my inner strength.

Wishing all a good sober day.

soberjim

Morning everyone. So many posts. Like everyone each day is a challenge.

Day 5. The evenings are a challenge.

Dee, hope you feel better soon!

Stubbs16

Yeah, Dee, hope you feel better soon! Migraines are the worst.

Sober jim, yes, each day is hard. But, we can do this. I keep telling myself, each day Im becoming healthier, and stronger. And its true, I just have to stop this cycle of on and off. The off needs to stay OFF!

Applekat

Good morning, day 4! Feeling good, but wary about the weekend upcoming.
I too check and post from my phone. I am reading everything, but not always responding. I am very proud of us all!

Is anyone reading anything good lately?

Stay strong.

ChrisBen

Well said. Thanks.

lesh74lush

Day 3, second meeting tonight. weekend will be tough, Superbowl taboot, but i'll hit up some meetings and push through

beerbgone

Good morning classmates. Beautiful morning here starting my 4th day. Slept extremely well last night. No brain fog this morning. It might kick in later but not right now.

Interesting experience with triggers yesterday. I went to the grocery store which involves two of my triggers. Getting in the car and entering the grocery store. AV likes both of those things.

Well, before I left I thought about those two triggers for a while. Know what? AV didn't even open his mouth the whole trip!

Now I'm not sure if it was the thinking about those triggers coming beforehand that kept the AV shutup or not. But I like to think it was.

I'll do that again the next time I know I'll be facing a trigger!

Have a great day everybody.

Applekat

I feel the need to re-read this quote to remind myself...drinking really only felt good for a few minutes. Before the first sip I was just a mental mess of planning, how to be casual about getting some wine, texting my hubby to "maybe grab a small bottle, IF he ran out during lunch, if not, no biggie..." Ha. Then, having a glass before or during dinner, which wasn't relaxing bc we were trying to feed three kids too, so that really didn't count. Then, bedtime process which takes like an hour on a good night - any sips or chugs during that time didn't really count either. To finally sitting down with a glass for a movie, that's when it finally counted, but I'd be feeling ick already but trying to play the part of a relaxed and engaged wife by then. Until finally we would head to bed but I would often crave a final glass for myself, which would be the tipping point and I'd just wake up feeling gross and disappointed. Drinking to get through the evening then finally drinking the way I thought I should and deserved, a glass by myself with a book. Except that was my 4th or 8th glass by then. So, I never actually enjoyed it. Quite sad. And when I remove the wine, I actually DO enjoy many parts of my evening! I have to stop thinking that wine will ever make my evenings any better. Very much the opposite.

"I once heard a sober alcoholic say that drinking never made him happy, but it made him feel like he was going to be happy in about fifteen minutes. That was exactly it, and I couldn’t understand why the happiness never came, couldn’t see the flaw in my thinking, couldn’t see that alcohol kept me trapped in a world of illusion, procrastination, paralysis. I lived always in the future, never in the present. Next time, next time! Next time I drank it would be different, next time it would make me feel good again. And all my efforts were doomed, because already drinking hadn’t made me feel good in years." Heather King

tiredofme

Creeps in

All of the relapsers have inspired me to join I was going to sit quietly at the back and lurk.

I am on (counts quickly) day 10 so far so good I am in a nice routine where after the first few days found it quite easy to get through days without drinking. Even if this has cut me off from most things I will take it for now.

I have had a bad few years with losing my dad whom I was his carer leaving a big void and time to fill. Just before Christmas someone whom I thought was a friend had a right go at me infront of other people about me not having a go at another friend whom shes not happy with arrg. Really didnt need that and upset me a lot it still does but I have to learn not to be so sensitive and leave it go.

Anyway thats enough about me nothing special just taking life one day at a time for now.

Camryn474

I'm joining this class. Day 1 for me.

Applekat

Hi tiredofme, and camryn!

Stubbs16

Hi tiredofme, welcome back. Sorry about your Dad.
Congrats on ten days tho, more then Ive had in a long, long time. Glad you decided to join us, and just not lurk.

Stubbs16

Hi and wecome camryn. Yay for day one!

Chinaski

It's day 4. Not always, but usually, when I declare "I'm never drinking again" I am pretty smooth through day eight to ten or so. But I don't want this time to be like other times so I'm not assuming anything. Joining here and trying to be active and honest is one of the big things I'm doing that is different from my norm. Sorry again in advance for my long post.

I'm off work again today. Wednesday and Thursday are my weekends. I may actually go in and work tonight but I may not as I've got a late evening/night shift tomorrow and then 10-12 hour shifts every day Saturday through Monday. I'll get plenty of hours in those days. We'll see how I feel around 3 or 4 pm today. I don't have any real plans for the day. Might run to the library, might not. I've got plenty to read already.

I finished watching Amy after I last posted in here. It was heartbreaking watching it all lead to its inevitable conclusion and quite sad to see the vast difference in how Winehouse acted in the clips when she'd been using vs. the few times she was trying to stay clean and sober. I'm sure others in my life have seen that difference in me many times.

I slept solidly through the night again last night. That was nice. But I had very vivid dreams. I don't think I was drinking in any of them, but I'm sure that'll come at some point. It always does.

PinotNOmore -- Glad you didn't drink the whole bottle. Welcome to day one!

PeacefulRain -- Congrats on finishing up day one.

lovetolisten -- Your response to kittycat has me thinking about ways I could pamper myself today. I'm trying to watch my money but could probably still treat myself to a decent lunch somewhere.

Jeni26 -- Don't worry about being "all about you." I'm glad you're being honest and posting your feelings and struggles here. That honesty is a good step and an example for all of us. We're here for you if you just need to talk it out or even yell and vent. Hang in there!

VirginiaWoof -- Loved your post about our similarities and differences! I do know that coming in here and being as honest as I can is making a difference so far for me. I just feel more peaceful right now.

Dee74 and venuscat -- Thanks for your encouragement and wisdom. It helps. A lot.

RustyBanjo -- Avoiding any Super Bowl parties is a smart idea. I intentionally picked up a shift at work Sunday afternoon/evening so I wouldn't be tempted. It wasn't hard to do as everyone was wanting off for their own parties. Do you have any sober buddies who might want to come over and watch with you?

JL2014 -- So so sorry to hear about your financial struggles. Drinking will only make the situation worse, as I'm sure you know.

Loftypofty -- I like saying your username out loud. It's impossible to say without smiling. That's awesome you have a good plan in place for Friday night.

JamesSquire -- Congrats on one week! Hope your blood tests go ok today. I need to do the same as its been years since I've been to a doctor, but I'm too scared. It's a fear I need to face.

forabetterlife -- So sorry to hear about your laptop. A lot of phone internet browsers have a "switch to desktop view" button somewhere in their settings. That might make it easier to view this website at least. Cool to see you were able to talk yourself out of your anger. That seems to be a big positive step to me.

maximus97 -- I'm another one whose drinking has definitely put me in a financial bind. It wasn't so much the cost of my booze as I was mainly a cheap box wine drinker here at the end (though I did intentionally blow $100 on my last binge on Sunday), it was more just that wanting to do nothing but sit around the house and drink made me lazy in general. I can sorta pick and choose how many hours I want to work and for the last six months or so I'd been working the bare minimum--15 to 20 hours a week most of the time. Just enough to barely cover my bills and buy my wine. That's one of my big goals for now--work more, save more. I'm scheduled for 30 hours this week and have already picked up three additional shifts that should put me at 40 or more hours.

soberjim -- Congrats on day 5! If you get challenged this evening, maybe come on here and post about it first. I know that's my plan when those urges inevitably come back at some point.

Applekat -- I read a lot. Like at least two books at a time and sometimes three or four. I have a pretty wide range of tastes in books. Right now I'm reading Born With Teeth, a memoir by actress Kate Mulgrew. It's just OK, not great. I think women or parents might get more of it than I am as a lot of it is focused on the pain/anguish she went through for years after giving up her first child for adoption. That's not something I can really identify with. I'm also reading Cormac McCarthy's first novel The Orchard Keeper. Just barely started it but so far it's good. I recently read the first Hannibal Lecter book Red Dragon and enjoyed it, so now I'm re-reading The Silence of the Lambs. I'm enjoying it but I remember it and the movie pretty well so I find myself skimming at times. What type of books do you like to read?

And I loved loved loved your next post about how that first sip was really all that was satisfying. I can totally identify with that. My drinking turned into an obligation, not a joy, for most of the last few years. I seldom got that good buzz anymore, just went from that "ah" of the first sip to the sick, nauseous doom of the impending hangover in the blink of an eye.

Great quote. Thanks for sharing!

ChrisBen -- Glad you checked in! (Hey, that rhymes! It's like a mini poem.)

lesh74lush -- Going to an AA meeting sounds like a great alternative to a Super Bowl drunk.

beerbgone -- Thanks for reminding me that I always need to be alert for my drinking triggers. I'm another day four-er here.

tiredofme -- So glad you've joined us and congrats on double digits! I lost my mom two years ago this month. She had her own issues--mental illness and pill addiction--but was always very concerned about my drinking. She'd be happy to know I'm trying to straighten that out.

camryn474 -- Welcome to the February class. I know joining here after a lot of lurking the last couple of months is making a big difference in my mindset early on.

Hope I caught everyone who'd posted since I last did 12 hours ago. Thanks for letting me ramble on. This is a good way to start my day. Wishing everyone the best!

PeacefulRain

Let the coffee flow! That was one restless night. My little one has some sort of a bug and another child ended up in bed with me. I was finally in a good sleep when she horse kicked me right in the side. Good lord that kid is a wild sleeper! Day 2 is starting off very sluggishly.