Dee74

Welcome Bob, wallup, StrongEnough and anyone my old brain missed

D

edward73

well I am here and hoping to keep going forward... 12 days sober then binge drink blackout again for the last 4 yrs........ so Im going to draw on gods strength all of you guys here and be SOBER THANKS for the support
thanks

ellie123

Today is the beginning and i look forward to sobriety! I am worried and anxious but the support on here looks fab. I look forward to speaking to you x

ellie123

Today is my first day too. I wish u the best of luck - we can do this!

ellie123

I am day 1 also i wish u the best of luck 👍

whatcouldbe

Day 1, ready to try again. Binge drinker here so I am usually good for two- three days then binge again. You are all doing well, I am hopeful that one will say the same for me in a week or so. I was drunk last night watching a movie and it hit me that if I continue on this path I may never see my kids marry, have children, or any number of milestones. I absolutely refuse to allow alcohol the power to take any more time away from those I love. Here's to the "rest" of our lives!

wittyuserid

I'm 27 hours from my last drink. The longest 27 hours of my life. I was forced to resign from my job two weeks ago. I've been in individual and group therapy for 6 months now. A week after still being raw from being forced to resign, a guy in my group therapy had a melt down and called me an alcoholic c u next Tuesday. That hurt me so bad. I've been on a black out bender for the last week. Every morning I wake up and drink all day long. Pint of whiskey, a six pack of beer and a bottle of wine.

My boss at my last job was abusive and toxic. She wanted to tear everyone down in her way. I'm so messed up in the head about that. I'm afraid I'll never work again. I'm afraid I'll never be happy. I'm afraid that it will never get better. I'm afraid to work again. I'm afraid to put myself out there. I always seem to get hurt.

BobBFree33

Thanks D. Finishing up day 2 here. My "danger zone" is from exactly 4:15pm to about 7pm. In the past I had lied to myself in thinking that if I could just hold off to 4:15pm on my off days that I was not "that bad". Of course I'd wait all danged day for 4:15 and drink a bottle of wine before 6. Welp, never told a soul that before except in my journal and even then I was ashamed/angry at myself.

Dee74

Welcome to Ellie, Edward and Whatcouldbe too

The great thing is there's no need to feel that way ever again Bob - congrats on day 2

wittyuserid

Hey Bob! I've done the exact same thing. Watch the clock for the "magic hour". I've had a six pack in one hour before. Just downing the beers and not looking at the time or not wanting to look at the time. Scared to see how quickly and how much I could consume. Don't be ashamed. That makes it worse.

BobBFree33

For me "Magic hour" turned into "memory gap 4 hours" fuzzily remembering some movie I watched....Heck of a day off. Wait all day to drink then barely remember the evening. Today and yesterday I changed it up. I'm a runner and I normally run earlier. But I ran later and drank Dr. Pepper at 4:15pm!

wittyuserid

Only memory gap of 4 hours? I've had memory laps of 4 days. Heck memory laps of weeks. Anything to get out my head. My dad said something to me a few years back that has still stayed with me "I've never seen someone who hated themselves so much" and I do. I do hate myself but I don't know where it came from or how to fix it.

BobBFree33

We're starting now :-)

Dee74

I hated myself too.

Staying sober didn't cure that...but it did give me the chance to work on it.

D

wittyuserid

God I hope so. 29 hours sober. But I've been sober before. I was sober for three years, settled with a decent guy but I threw that all away because I was bored. Or I didn't love him. I don't know anymore.

Bebrave

Checking in end of Day 1. Had a good day here at home. Cooked ribs on the grill , made potato salad and broccoli for dinner. I don't usually have terrible cravings day 1, but I suspect they'll surface a bit tomorrow.

Have a bit of a headache, but I'll go to bed soon. Back to work tomorrow!

USA Women just one the World Cup!!

2WheelsGood

Booyah!! Good going ladies.

Drinking habit: For me it's the drink yourself to sleep nightly routine. We rarely have alcohol before 5PM. It just wouldn't do. haha! Stupid excuses.

Start drinking while cooking dinner. Gripe about how terrible our jobs are. Keep going. Hate on co-workers and customers. Drink. Drink. TV. Drink. Get in an argument. Drink. And then pass out in bed. Wake up remarkably OK but occasionally hung over. Forget or regret what was said the night before. Apologize and start another day. That's a really crappy way to go through 20 years of marriage. We're both in this together since we've been so co-dependent and sabotaged each other for what seems like ever.

26 days clean so far this time. Day by day.

Hang in there everyone.

wittyuserid

Is your wife staying sober with you?

StrongEnough

Was feeling pretty physically good during Day 2. I decided to try talking to my wife about my relapse. She really didn't want to talk about it, but I pressed her. I said some things about the state of our life together that have needed to be said for a long time (regarding how terrible my drinking has gotten, the time we missed out on, etc.). She basically broke down, maybe realizing for the first time what was really happening. I think divorce proceedings are going to start tomorrow and she just wants to remove every shred of my existence from her life. We're going to take a walk and talk, but things aren't looking very good She has all of my credit cards and ID, though, so I can't drink even if I wanted to. Definitely a good move during a stressful time...

2WheelsGood

Yes.