Class of March 2013 Part 40
Living and Loving Life at Last
Join Date: Aug 2012
Location: gods own country
Posts: 12,171
Very nice Trachy, and thanks for the answer, I guessed it was something like that!
V I hope your counsellor is able to offer some support love, it's good that you are not closing yourself off. We are all here for you and you are in my thoughts.
Hugs everyone xx
V I hope your counsellor is able to offer some support love, it's good that you are not closing yourself off. We are all here for you and you are in my thoughts.
Hugs everyone xx
Member
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: German Village, Columbus with my love ♥
Posts: 88,534
Thank you toots. ♥
The counsellor stayed on the phone with me for almost an hour, way above and beyond.
It was so helpful to talk to an addiction counsellor at this point.
I have a lot of shame at the moment for not being able to get further ahead in my job search and stuff...and I feel I could have done more to help my auntie. Over and over the counsellor said to me, I know how hard all of this is, but you are sober. No matter what is happening, you are still sober... you bet. I am not going to let anything take that away from me.
Dad has pneumonia again. So he may or may not be able to fight this off.
I will feel whatever I feel, and perhaps cut myself a break here...
I am so grateful that I have all of you to talk to.
At times like this, I am not so good at being by myself.
The counsellor stayed on the phone with me for almost an hour, way above and beyond.
It was so helpful to talk to an addiction counsellor at this point.
I have a lot of shame at the moment for not being able to get further ahead in my job search and stuff...and I feel I could have done more to help my auntie. Over and over the counsellor said to me, I know how hard all of this is, but you are sober. No matter what is happening, you are still sober... you bet. I am not going to let anything take that away from me.
Dad has pneumonia again. So he may or may not be able to fight this off.
I will feel whatever I feel, and perhaps cut myself a break here...
I am so grateful that I have all of you to talk to.
At times like this, I am not so good at being by myself.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2015
Location: Farmington
Posts: 79
So, uh... Long time no see, guys! Sorry about that. Most of the hiatus was fine, last three weeks...have not been. I am trying to decide about what to do next year, post-graduation, and it's freaking me the %^&k out. I can't imagine life beyond school, I can't imagine what it will be like to live in that real world in which one writes checks to pay bills, not papers to get credits. Part of the problem is simply having to make a choice: I am deciding between a safer, but less authentic option, or leaping into what I want to be doing and where I want to be, but having to create an entire community for myself fresh with no family nearby or fellow post-grads to live with. Gah. Been dithering back and for three weeks now.
But in truth (although it's taken me until recently to figure this out), it's not the choice that's driving me nuts---it's wondering (and fearing) what life will be like. I don't have a great track record for making friends and coping in healthy ways. I do have a consistent track record for becoming depressed, losing my authentic self, and coping in very unhealthy ways. I don't really trust that I'm a different, stronger, whole-er person than I ever have been in the past. I'm better at dealing with my feelings now, but for sure not cured (exhibit a: the past three weeks of absurdity). Will I be able to take care of myself? Will I be able to make friends? Will I succeed? Or will I get crushed as usual into a dribbling mess of misery and despair?
Hence, fell off the wagon, hard (d%^n that road is bumpy). I'm trying to climb back onto it now, so it finally occurred to me that I could come back here to find some climbing buddies. I should probably switch to the April class but...I know you guys, and I like you guys. So if it's allowed, I'll come back to the boards here for a bit.
V, wishing you all the best. Major kudos on staying sober through this ordeal---I'm in awe of your strength and courage. Sending you some get-well flowers for your loved ones:
But in truth (although it's taken me until recently to figure this out), it's not the choice that's driving me nuts---it's wondering (and fearing) what life will be like. I don't have a great track record for making friends and coping in healthy ways. I do have a consistent track record for becoming depressed, losing my authentic self, and coping in very unhealthy ways. I don't really trust that I'm a different, stronger, whole-er person than I ever have been in the past. I'm better at dealing with my feelings now, but for sure not cured (exhibit a: the past three weeks of absurdity). Will I be able to take care of myself? Will I be able to make friends? Will I succeed? Or will I get crushed as usual into a dribbling mess of misery and despair?
Hence, fell off the wagon, hard (d%^n that road is bumpy). I'm trying to climb back onto it now, so it finally occurred to me that I could come back here to find some climbing buddies. I should probably switch to the April class but...I know you guys, and I like you guys. So if it's allowed, I'll come back to the boards here for a bit.
V, wishing you all the best. Major kudos on staying sober through this ordeal---I'm in awe of your strength and courage. Sending you some get-well flowers for your loved ones:
Guest
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: Ashburn, VA
Posts: 30,196
This is the first time I've been on SR at this time of day in over a week. I've been limiting myself to the two hours of free wifi at McDonalds in the morning.
I just stopped by the Newcomers threads and I am aghast at the many things that are happening and have already happened that I wasn't around for. Threads I used to follow very closely I feel like I'm a stranger to now. Makes me sad.
Of course, it is my choice, and I know that it's for the best. I'm the type who could literally be on here all day long and get nothing else done (as evidenced by my life for the last two years! :-p). .
But I sure do miss it like hell.
I just stopped by the Newcomers threads and I am aghast at the many things that are happening and have already happened that I wasn't around for. Threads I used to follow very closely I feel like I'm a stranger to now. Makes me sad.
Of course, it is my choice, and I know that it's for the best. I'm the type who could literally be on here all day long and get nothing else done (as evidenced by my life for the last two years! :-p). .
But I sure do miss it like hell.
Guest
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: Ashburn, VA
Posts: 30,196
Hi, HTBA1.
I'm sorry I accidentally stepped on your thread while you were posting.
I'm sorry you fell. The days of sobriety add up one by one--and as they add up, you find you enter new stages. Old ways of coping are challenged and, to your delight, you'll find that you learn to replace them with more solid and healthy ones. Be patient with yourself, prevent yourself from drinking any more, and just keep putting one foot in front of the other in terms of what life presents to you after you're out of school.
If other people manage, you'll see that you'll be able to manage, too.
BTW, this is the class of March 2013. I think you may have been looking for 2015. But please stay if you'd like! We're a good bunch, too.
I'm sorry I accidentally stepped on your thread while you were posting.
I'm sorry you fell. The days of sobriety add up one by one--and as they add up, you find you enter new stages. Old ways of coping are challenged and, to your delight, you'll find that you learn to replace them with more solid and healthy ones. Be patient with yourself, prevent yourself from drinking any more, and just keep putting one foot in front of the other in terms of what life presents to you after you're out of school.
If other people manage, you'll see that you'll be able to manage, too.
BTW, this is the class of March 2013. I think you may have been looking for 2015. But please stay if you'd like! We're a good bunch, too.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: Colorado
Posts: 1,420
Gilmer: I have really missed you here on Marchers, as well as on the other thread where we both sometimes post. I hope you are ok... I know you have a lot on your plate, with studying, your dad, and your family.
And, I understand about being online a lot... several hours can pass in a snap of my fingers when I am reading online. However, we all have to do what we need to do, and if you need to set boundaries around how much time you are on line, I will respect that.
This is how I picture you in the mornings.
And, I understand about being online a lot... several hours can pass in a snap of my fingers when I am reading online. However, we all have to do what we need to do, and if you need to set boundaries around how much time you are on line, I will respect that.
This is how I picture you in the mornings.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2013
Posts: 6,224
Good morning Marchers Welcome to you happytobealive1.
V I'm sorry to hear that your Dad is ill again. That the doctors can't find anything may be indicating that your Dad himself is ready to go-- sometimes people need to know that's ok.
Be with your Dad, be with yourself and don't forget to laugh.
Welcome to you happytobealive1.V I'm sorry to hear that your Dad is ill again. That the doctors can't find anything may be indicating that your Dad himself is ready to go-- sometimes people need to know that's ok.
Be with your Dad, be with yourself and don't forget to laugh.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2013
Posts: 6,224
Oh and something nice for me today: I am getting my (asked for) 60th birthday present (no it's not my b'day yet), two cleaners are cleaning my house from top to bottom over the next two days so that I get a gift of time for months to come.
Have a good day peeps.
Have a good day peeps.
Marchia in Aeternum
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: Georgia
Posts: 11,094
Originally Posted by Marcher13 
Oh and something nice for me today: I am getting my (asked for) 60th birthday present (no it's not my b'day yet), two cleaners are cleaning my house from top to bottom over the next two days so that I get a gift of time for months to come.
Have a good day peeps.
Have a good day peeps.
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
