Class of December 2014 Part 5
Member
Join Date: Nov 2014
Location: Centry fl
Posts: 214
Hello everyone, happy to see everyone, and that you are all doing so well. Day 43 feeling good today. Had a few sad days for some unknown reason, but I am feeling better today. Off for the weekend . Everyone have a good one.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2014
Location: Northern Illinos
Posts: 1,757
Good Morning littermates.
Still bitter cold here. Beautiful pink skies as it gets light.
36 days for the triplets.
Thanks for checking in Omo - glad you came out of turtle mode to post. Hugs to you and, as Tonks said, it is safe to post and vent here.
MariahGayle - yes, we had your back and several different plans.
Dax, I replayed Beach House this morning - what a beautiful song.
Seasky, we have missed you. Proud that you did not drink. Congrats on your hubby' snow job and not getting sucked into drinking to celebrate. It is tough but so rewarding. Every time we stay sober it makes us more confident and stronger.
Denise - wow! Day 43 - yippee! Enjoy your weekend and check in when you can.
Still bitter cold here. Beautiful pink skies as it gets light.
36 days for the triplets.
Thanks for checking in Omo - glad you came out of turtle mode to post. Hugs to you and, as Tonks said, it is safe to post and vent here.
MariahGayle - yes, we had your back and several different plans.
Dax, I replayed Beach House this morning - what a beautiful song.
Seasky, we have missed you. Proud that you did not drink. Congrats on your hubby' snow job and not getting sucked into drinking to celebrate. It is tough but so rewarding. Every time we stay sober it makes us more confident and stronger.
Denise - wow! Day 43 - yippee! Enjoy your weekend and check in when you can.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2014
Posts: 5,453
Good morning everyone! I missed a lot ! I went to bed early.
I tried to get into the chat room on my ipad. I will use my laptop next time. Sorry I missed your show Dax! It sounds like it went great! Yay! I bet it felt amazing and empowering to do it sober!
OmoRose- thanks for checking in! I sometimes don't want to talk to anyone too.
Brynn- it's okay to change your mind! You know what's best for you. I think your a strong and brave person.
Seasky- that's great your husband got a new job. I am glad you didn't celebrate with alcohol! You are right AV is sneaky!
Erin8- thanks for sharing what is going on with you. That has to be hard. Please keep reaching out when you need too.
Denise- congrats on 43 days!!
Thanks for being there packmates!!! I know I missed commenting on a lot of things but I read it all!
I tried to get into the chat room on my ipad. I will use my laptop next time. Sorry I missed your show Dax! It sounds like it went great! Yay! I bet it felt amazing and empowering to do it sober!
OmoRose- thanks for checking in! I sometimes don't want to talk to anyone too.
Brynn- it's okay to change your mind! You know what's best for you. I think your a strong and brave person.
Seasky- that's great your husband got a new job. I am glad you didn't celebrate with alcohol! You are right AV is sneaky!
Erin8- thanks for sharing what is going on with you. That has to be hard. Please keep reaching out when you need too.
Denise- congrats on 43 days!!
Thanks for being there packmates!!! I know I missed commenting on a lot of things but I read it all!
Member
Join Date: Jul 2011
Posts: 1,462
Seasky, glad you checked in and so proud of you for celebrating with Shirley temples
Omorose, I am learning that feeling the sadness and the struggle rather than drinking over it gives us such opportunities for growth. My sadness and hopeless thoughts have been almost unbearable this week. I sought new ways to help myself and feel better rather than my usual- wine or beer. This group has been an amazing support for me, including you - please know we are here for you so post whenever you need to reach out.
Denise - wow, I think you are definitely the leader of our pack in days, that is amazing !!!
I am probably the caboose, on day 6... But really I am not into counting days that much this time around. Maybe when I get further along I will feel more of a sense of achievement in terms of days, but right now it's just a number and I've had dozens of day sixes. I simply know that I am not and will not drink and that feels good.
Had a terrible dream last night that my father died. Obviously it has been in the back of my mind, so I'm sure that's where the dream came from. The girls and I will be going over to spend the afternoon and evening with him today. The changes I see in him this past month even are so hard to handle, and I know this is just the beginning. I'm scared, I have to admit that. Trying to just take it day by day and appreciate every day with him.
As far as the man that has been troubling me, we have not had contact in 5 weeks.. And i think the worst of it is not knowing. I am in limbo, I am hurt, I am confused. He doesn't even know about my dads cancer and I need him. I just typed a whole explanation of the situation and deleted it. I guess all there is to say is that we have loved each other for 10 years and have had many ups and downs. I am so incredibly scared of losing him for good. I know he loves me, I know what he and she have is more of just a friendship. It's just so hard to not know.
I simply can't type all the details, it's so complicated and I'm so scared of how it will all "sound". I'm just hurting over it terribly and feel so helpless. Nothing I can do.
Taking my dog for a walk on this chilly morning. So glad to be sober.
Omorose, I am learning that feeling the sadness and the struggle rather than drinking over it gives us such opportunities for growth. My sadness and hopeless thoughts have been almost unbearable this week. I sought new ways to help myself and feel better rather than my usual- wine or beer. This group has been an amazing support for me, including you - please know we are here for you so post whenever you need to reach out.
Denise - wow, I think you are definitely the leader of our pack in days, that is amazing !!!
I am probably the caboose, on day 6... But really I am not into counting days that much this time around. Maybe when I get further along I will feel more of a sense of achievement in terms of days, but right now it's just a number and I've had dozens of day sixes. I simply know that I am not and will not drink and that feels good.
Had a terrible dream last night that my father died. Obviously it has been in the back of my mind, so I'm sure that's where the dream came from. The girls and I will be going over to spend the afternoon and evening with him today. The changes I see in him this past month even are so hard to handle, and I know this is just the beginning. I'm scared, I have to admit that. Trying to just take it day by day and appreciate every day with him.
As far as the man that has been troubling me, we have not had contact in 5 weeks.. And i think the worst of it is not knowing. I am in limbo, I am hurt, I am confused. He doesn't even know about my dads cancer and I need him. I just typed a whole explanation of the situation and deleted it. I guess all there is to say is that we have loved each other for 10 years and have had many ups and downs. I am so incredibly scared of losing him for good. I know he loves me, I know what he and she have is more of just a friendship. It's just so hard to not know.
I simply can't type all the details, it's so complicated and I'm so scared of how it will all "sound". I'm just hurting over it terribly and feel so helpless. Nothing I can do.
Taking my dog for a walk on this chilly morning. So glad to be sober.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2014
Location: Northern Illinos
Posts: 1,757
FABL, I know you are hurting and scared and I am hugging you.
Feeling the impending loss of your father is bad enough and layered with your hurt over a 10 year relationship has got to be cutting deep.
Handling all this sober is awesome.
The best thing about out pack is that whether we share a little or a lot we still love each other and embrace our safe place.
The details are not what is important what we want you to know is that we are here with you.
Feeling the impending loss of your father is bad enough and layered with your hurt over a 10 year relationship has got to be cutting deep.
Handling all this sober is awesome.
The best thing about out pack is that whether we share a little or a lot we still love each other and embrace our safe place.
The details are not what is important what we want you to know is that we are here with you.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: USA
Posts: 872
Hey everyone - Just checking in. I am feeling a lot better today. Yesterday I had some tough cravings and was just in a really bad mood. Today I feel a lot more relaxed/happy and don't have any desire to drink.
ABL, thank you for the meditation recommendation. Also, thank you for everyones help yesterday.
ABL, thank you for the meditation recommendation. Also, thank you for everyones help yesterday.
Live easy but think first
Join Date: Feb 2014
Location: Sonoran Desert
Posts: 480
Good morning all! I woke up a bit late so have to run to work. I don't usually work Saturdays, but am today. They do this cool event in my city every year called Beyond. It's to put out kindness in response to the January 8th shootings 4 years ago. At any rate, I am off to do that. See you all around here today!
Dax
Dax
...holds the key
Join Date: Dec 2014
Location: Texas
Posts: 7,065
Good Saturday morning y'all!
Don't you people sleep in on the weekends?
Fabl...I have to tell you that the caboose is my favorite part of the train!
It's good to see everyone this morning, especially our dear rose and seasky who we've all
been missing! And JL...keep fighting! We're in the battle with you! Hi Dax!
And anewday, I'm so glad to hear you're feeling happier today! I hope you know what a big huge victory you had last night. I'm serious...i read your posts, I know you were struggling, but you didn't give in! Huge!!
Glad you're still with us Mariah and we didn't have to resort to drastic measures....our plan to bust you out was a little shaky....Della had nail files and I had an outfit, other than that we really had nothing!
B, we're missing our other sister! Hope she gets a chance to check in today!
How was your run this morning, tonks?
Y'all, I have to do something today that I really don't want to do and I've got massive anxiety right now abou it! I would usually pop a Xanax to deal with it....but, I flushed all those lovely little pills in a valiant effort to stay sober! So, crud!! I'm really wishing I would have saved just one little Xanax!!
Love and hugs y'all.
xoxo
Don't you people sleep in on the weekends?
Fabl...I have to tell you that the caboose is my favorite part of the train!
It's good to see everyone this morning, especially our dear rose and seasky who we've all
been missing! And JL...keep fighting! We're in the battle with you! Hi Dax!
And anewday, I'm so glad to hear you're feeling happier today! I hope you know what a big huge victory you had last night. I'm serious...i read your posts, I know you were struggling, but you didn't give in! Huge!!
Glad you're still with us Mariah and we didn't have to resort to drastic measures....our plan to bust you out was a little shaky....Della had nail files and I had an outfit, other than that we really had nothing!
B, we're missing our other sister! Hope she gets a chance to check in today!
How was your run this morning, tonks?
Y'all, I have to do something today that I really don't want to do and I've got massive anxiety right now abou it! I would usually pop a Xanax to deal with it....but, I flushed all those lovely little pills in a valiant effort to stay sober! So, crud!! I'm really wishing I would have saved just one little Xanax!!
Love and hugs y'all.
xoxo
OX
Join Date: Dec 2012
Location: Upper Left USA
Posts: 630
Morning folks. We will get through this sober
Brynn, good luck doing what needs to be done. You are strong. A couple deep breaths is better than Xanax.
Dax, thanks for sharing part of your story. You sure sound like a fascinating human.
Omorose, I understand the turtle shell. I think if I went on a monk like retreat where we didn't have to talk, I'd be fine. Especially lately. My so was on me yesterday for just being silent for no reason. I just don't feel like talking. Even typing in the password for this site seems like too much. I think that means it's time for my winter blues happy light. There have bee a few suicdes in the area of late, no sun. Yep gonna get it out in a minute. The ground has been wet from rain so no mountain biking, been arguing with the lady. Things could be better
It's interesting to read all the different reasons for struggle with the drink. Bored, happy, sad, nervous, excited... It doesn't matter does it? Amazing how a celebratory drink can lead to such feeling of despair and self loathing. Play that tape.
Ok, my Taoist meditation of looking inside and smiling. Smile to my heart. Smile to my liver, smile to my kidneys, smile to my lungs, smile to my spleen. And I smile to my classmates.
Brynn, good luck doing what needs to be done. You are strong. A couple deep breaths is better than Xanax.
Dax, thanks for sharing part of your story. You sure sound like a fascinating human.
Omorose, I understand the turtle shell. I think if I went on a monk like retreat where we didn't have to talk, I'd be fine. Especially lately. My so was on me yesterday for just being silent for no reason. I just don't feel like talking. Even typing in the password for this site seems like too much. I think that means it's time for my winter blues happy light. There have bee a few suicdes in the area of late, no sun. Yep gonna get it out in a minute. The ground has been wet from rain so no mountain biking, been arguing with the lady. Things could be better
It's interesting to read all the different reasons for struggle with the drink. Bored, happy, sad, nervous, excited... It doesn't matter does it? Amazing how a celebratory drink can lead to such feeling of despair and self loathing. Play that tape.
Ok, my Taoist meditation of looking inside and smiling. Smile to my heart. Smile to my liver, smile to my kidneys, smile to my lungs, smile to my spleen. And I smile to my classmates.
Ya**!
Join Date: Dec 2014
Location: Canada! wtf eh?
Posts: 1,123
Originally Posted by brynn 
Glad you're still with us Mariah and we didn't have to resort to drastic measures....our plan to bust you out was a little shaky....Della had nail files and I had an outfit, other than that we really had nothing!
Seasky!! You were gone for way too long, we were heartbroken!
BigShoe keep on smiling for all of us and most of all You. Pretty sure you've earned it.
I need to wipe my laptop because it's been running ragged lately and while cleaning out files and backing up to The Cloud, i came across emails and things from like 2007... Jesus. Most of them were alcohol induced relationship stuff and some of them were really cringe-worthy reads. Yet, I saw alot of desire to become something better in them. Even then, i think was already struggling to shed all the crap free. Really thoughtful today. In a good way.
Hope everyone is having a great day! If it's not a great day yet, make it one.
It's our choice after all.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2012
Posts: 2,308
Good morning all.
Great job to all of us! And thanks for everyone for being so brave and sharing their struggles.
Dax, hats off to you, I really liked your story about how you stressed about being misunderstood only to find out it was all in your head. And Erin I'm sorry for your pain in your relationship, I hope you can work through that in therapy perhaps....I have been through a divorce, so I am well versed in relationship pain.
Also Brynn, don't worry about oversharing anything that is helpful for you to share, it's your life and we are only here to support each other! You are the only one that can make the decision about staying or leaving your relationship.
Feeling humble and grateful after hearing some news of the brother of a friend from college (we are not currently in touch but you know how bad news travels fast) that was killed in a snowmobile accident while drinking yesterday. I have pushed my luck many a time with drinking and machinery (never on a snowmobile, but in car for sure) and I'm feeling very grateful that I made it through unscathed, by the grace of God. Certainly a good reminder of the bad things that can happen if I choose to pick up a beer again.
Today I'm on day 12. Day 7 not smoking. The smoking is the one I'm struggling with more, especially now that it's the weekend and I'm at home - where I did most of my smoking I'm about to try out a new exercise video, wish me luck! I am not a fan of working out with a video but I am succumbing to my desire to stay inside with the dreaded cold weather...hoping that snuffs out my cravings at least for a bit....
xoxo to you all December friends!
Great job to all of us! And thanks for everyone for being so brave and sharing their struggles.
Dax, hats off to you, I really liked your story about how you stressed about being misunderstood only to find out it was all in your head. And Erin I'm sorry for your pain in your relationship, I hope you can work through that in therapy perhaps....I have been through a divorce, so I am well versed in relationship pain.
Also Brynn, don't worry about oversharing anything that is helpful for you to share, it's your life and we are only here to support each other! You are the only one that can make the decision about staying or leaving your relationship.
Feeling humble and grateful after hearing some news of the brother of a friend from college (we are not currently in touch but you know how bad news travels fast) that was killed in a snowmobile accident while drinking yesterday. I have pushed my luck many a time with drinking and machinery (never on a snowmobile, but in car for sure) and I'm feeling very grateful that I made it through unscathed, by the grace of God. Certainly a good reminder of the bad things that can happen if I choose to pick up a beer again.
Today I'm on day 12. Day 7 not smoking. The smoking is the one I'm struggling with more, especially now that it's the weekend and I'm at home - where I did most of my smoking
I'm about to try out a new exercise video, wish me luck! I am not a fan of working out with a video but I am succumbing to my desire to stay inside with the dreaded cold weather...hoping that snuffs out my cravings at least for a bit....xoxo to you all December friends!
Member
Join Date: Sep 2011
Posts: 1,138
Hi all, Sorry I've been absent this week; I've been crazy busy with the first week of work of the new year. Doing well though -- day 16. For the most part it's been ok, with only a few passing cravings to drink, though last Friday or Saturday the urge to drink was like a wave. Totally caught me off guard, and I had to sit on my thumbs and just watch like 6 episodes of 24 until it was time to go to bed. Did dump out the rest of the Christmas booze that night, though.
Quitting smoking, which I'm also trying to do, is much harder for me right now.
Hopefully I'll have some time this weekend to catch up and read through the threads, but glad to see so many of us still here!
Quitting smoking, which I'm also trying to do, is much harder for me right now.
Hopefully I'll have some time this weekend to catch up and read through the threads, but glad to see so many of us still here!
...holds the key
Join Date: Dec 2014
Location: Texas
Posts: 7,065
Hey deserto! Long time no see! congrats on 16 days!
Kitty, I'm really sorry to hear about your friend. It is definitely a wake up call. Happy exercising!!
Bigshoe...I can just picture you sitting under your lamp smiling at your liver! I'm going to try smiling at my brain and see if it helps any!!
And tonks...my introspective friend...I have no idea what leg day is?!?! But I think it's kinda neat that you read some old emails...kind of like looking through an old journal.
And I have to get an MRI this afternoon...it's an open MRI...that's not the problem, it's just I get anxious about the results is all. I'm good though. Deep breaths and remembering that everything's better sober.
xoxo
congrats on 16 days! Kitty, I'm really sorry to hear about your friend. It is definitely a wake up call. Happy exercising!!
Bigshoe...I can just picture you sitting under your lamp smiling at your liver!
I'm going to try smiling at my brain and see if it helps any!! And tonks...my introspective friend...I have no idea what leg day is?!?! But I think it's kinda neat that you read some old emails...kind of like looking through an old journal.
And I have to get an MRI this afternoon...it's an open MRI...that's not the problem, it's just I get anxious about the results is all. I'm good though. Deep breaths and remembering that everything's better sober.
xoxo
Ya**!
Join Date: Dec 2014
Location: Canada! wtf eh?
Posts: 1,123
Heyo Deserto! Your name makes me crave cereal. Great job on dealing with the cravings! Never seen 24 although I always hear about it, one of these days I'll check it out.
Brynnewski, leg day means tomorrow I wont be able to sit on the toilet from doing too many squats, leg extensions, leg curls, etc. Strength training with legs... An MRI? Hmm, I hope everything comes back okay. You're in my thoughts today.
Brynnewski, leg day means tomorrow I wont be able to sit on the toilet from doing too many squats, leg extensions, leg curls, etc. Strength training with legs... An MRI? Hmm, I hope everything comes back okay. You're in my thoughts today.
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