Arbor

I've seen the forecast for the week FAD. 18 is pretty cold to me too buddy! Funny enough though I actually drove out to the beach today. Just a drive through to check out the Atlantic for a bit of inspiration.

Mark1014

Inspiration....that's what I need. I'm ready for more than just not drinking. Something positive to focus on for the new year.

Arbor

Exactly. Isn't that what this is all about? You got this!

Mark1014

Hard for me to imagine a snowy beach. We flew into Manchester on our New England jaunt and I wanted to go see the Atlantic so we drove over to newberry port and it was so much like I had imagined a port town in Massachusetts to be from the old days. Going up through rockport and Camden area was nice, but Acadia park was my favorite coastal area. Beautiful place you live Arbor.

Arbor

Yes it sure is. It's easy to take it for granted. I've lived here my whole life. At the end of the day though I wouldn't have it any other way. Funny. I was talking with my mother in law about Rockport Mass today. Gorgeous.

Conquest

I am staying up way too late, but wanted to see how everyone's doing. Thinking about you Venus! I'm hoping we'll hear from you soon.

Goodnight all.

Briar

Well, back to work tomorrow. Not looking forward to reality, but such is life.

Looking forward to hearing from you V, sending you best wishes. I miss talking with you!

JL2014

Day 1. So angry with myself.

countrygirl2014

JL....open arms here...hugs!

What caused you to slip?

Jennifer

Conquest

JL, Day 1 is way better than Day DONE. You're here and still trying! Be kind to yourself today, allow for a little reflection, but focus on what you're going to change this time.

Oh boy, if I posted every day one... I was too chicken to and have let my slips turn into avalanches for many years. Posting in the a.m. and p.m. (Whether I feel like it or not) has made all the difference this time for me. I hope you find the missing piece for you. It's different for all of us, but it's there somewhere. Just don't give up.

Let's make today a healthy, happy one friends. Much love to each of you

countrygirl2014

Lol conquest, I agree with you there. I started last March in SR. I think I had 20 day ones before I gave up and went back to drinking every night. Then I started again early in September, made it a whole 2 weeks then boom...day 1 again. I'm shocked I passed that 90 day mark. I'm gathering an arsenal of tools and weapons this time around. I learned from my slip up and came up with a new plan. I develop the plan daily as I learn new things. I go to AA, it's nice to see others face to face that have some real time under their belt. Who knows? I could slip up tomorrow. I know today I am not drinking. You are not alone and it is nothing to be ashamed of. The path you were taking didn't end in a nice place. That's all. There are many, many paths.

Jennifer

JL2014

I feel bad, but I'm gonna face up every time this might happen. I may or may not get it right, but I'm not doing anything that I've already done, that hasn't helped me stop. Admission is a new thing for me, but y'all help me so much by whatever amount of openness and honesty you each can share, and it make so much of a difference.
Thank you !
I "just"drank a few drinks while we were scrubbing the house down, and rearranging furniture, putting things up. I don't know why I didn't care that I did it, but I didn't. Just got tired and weak on my resolve for some reason.

JL2014

Arsenal of tools, amen country G.

Mark1014

I definitely agree with the ladies JL, I don't even know how many day ones I had, hundreds, I kept it to myself and was not part of any community. My first post on SR. was 'day one...again' . But if I hadn't tried that 323rd time, the other 322 would have been a waste. Not to mention that I'm probably the oldest in the class (48) and therefore spent years longer than you guys banging my head against the same stupid wall! It's been said before, but it's been critical for me to take alcohol off the table as an option to deal with stress. No exceptions. There will never be a time that I couldn't find something to drink over. It was absolutely my 'go to'. There may have been about 10 minutes with the initial effects of a drink that I would feel better in my mind. Fast forward an hour or two and the negative cyclical thinking and angry thoughts started...fast forward another hour or two and the 'poor sorry me' thinking started. Same stinking cycle every every every time!

I guess I could be described as hard headed, but it seems that I finally collected a big enough pile of evidence to convince even me that taking that first drink will never ever end well.

Don't give up.

Arbor

Yep. Been there on day one many of times myself JL. There's lots of reasons why it's working for me now though. The big one is accountability. Joining this class was a good start. You seem like a family man to me. They should be your strongest motivational supporter. I myself don't want to ever let them down again because of a selfish drink. Just some things to think about.

phoebe64

FAD, you are not the oldest in the class. I have you beat by a couple of years.

I am thinking of you, Venus, praying for a good outcome and swift recovery from your surgery.

Kids are back to school, and I feel ready for a fresh new year, new routines. I have no idea how many day ones I have had. Lots. Too many.

All the talk of the East coast is very familiar to me. I live in MA, and have enjoyed Rockport, Maine, Gloucester, Cape Cod, etc... my entire life. I love living in this area. Except for today, with the howling frigid wind! We have not spent enough time enjoying the coast with the kids. Hubby is very fair, and so are the kids, but the beach does not have to mean basking in the sun all day long. It is beautiful off season, and later in the day as well. Traffic and parking makes it rather hard to access in summer for us.

Mark1014

Sounds nice phoebe, I've got relatives in Newton, MA but have never made it up for a visit. It's even cold here. Supposed to be even more so midweek.

Hoping to hear from V soon, glad the surgery is over for her. Dreading things is tough.

Mark1014

I've been thinking that I need to adjust my plan a bit at this stage and more actively include my wife. I've been hesitant to do that for various reasons but am beginning to come around to this kind of thinking a little more. Arbor, I think some time back you described it as having someone 'in your corner'.

Arbor

Yes. For example just the other night she said: "Congratulations Arbor. You made it through the holidays without a drink. I don't even think about it anymore do you?" I thought about it for a minute. It's true. I haven't been thinking about it at all really. I've created the new norm.

phoebe64

That is great Arbor!

I had actually gotten to that point 4 or so years ago. Then for some stupid reason, not even a big craving, I began drinking again. And, really, it was only after that relapse that I have had such a hard time quitting. I mean, I had never really been drinking quite so "alcoholically" but just excessively and had health issues which dictated I should stop. That quit was really not hard, and I found new healthy habits as part of controlling my diabetes at that time.

It seems I progressed rapidly upon the relapse them, to where it is much harder to quit it now. I wish I had not dabbled into thinking moderation was a good idea. It also messes with my whole healthy routine.