I definitely agree with the ladies JL, I don't even know how many day ones I had, hundreds, I kept it to myself and was not part of any community. My first post on SR. was 'day one...again' . But if I hadn't tried that 323rd time, the other 322 would have been a waste. Not to mention that I'm probably the oldest in the class (48) and therefore spent years longer than you guys banging my head against the same stupid wall! It's been said before, but it's been critical for me to take alcohol off the table as an option to deal with stress. No exceptions. There will never be a time that I couldn't find something to drink over. It was absolutely my 'go to'. There may have been about 10 minutes with the initial effects of a drink that I would feel better in my mind. Fast forward an hour or two and the negative cyclical thinking and angry thoughts started...fast forward another hour or two and the 'poor sorry me' thinking started. Same stinking cycle every every every time!
I guess I could be described as hard headed, but it seems that I finally collected a big enough pile of evidence to convince even me that taking that first drink will never ever end well.
Don't give up.