phoebe64

Nothing exciting here. Sober today, was osber yesterday and I hope to be sober tomorrow. I was able to be helpful to my daughter at 6:55 am today, rather than grouchy and hungover. She forgot something and I happily ran it to school for her. well, easily, if not exactly happily, lol. Many mornings at 6:55 am I am barely keeping it together to get them off to school so I can wallow in self-pity with a hangover.

I need to get to exercising and making my dinner early. I have to take my son to a doc appt later so need dinner ready before school gets out. Trying to decide between meatballs or a big meatloaf. Got a big pack of ground turkey...

Venus, do you have any new medical news? I know you had mentioned another scan and new possibilities.

JL2014

Venus, very sorry to hear about a breakup.
Conquest, I'm using that quote today too. Thank you.
Works really rough today, but I have this first little tiny bit of peace starting to form, due to it not being my main job(a dead end one).
A bit of hope is a very different thing for me. Not dramatizing, just really not used to it. Today is the first day I haven't feverishly scoured job postings in about 2 yrs. I did it out of habit this morning , then stopped mid-type and though " oh. I'm not doing that anymore."
Is that weird not knowing how to feel about things looking up?
I guess feeling strung out and drunk has been the norm for way way too long.
I welcome the weirdness !!

countrygirl2014

Ooooh conquest, you nailed it. Thank you for your post.
It's starting to come natural this "normal people" thing. I am healing and functioning better everyday.
One thing I don't like and I have been told it will get better with time, is my nervousness. I actually raised my hand to speak at an AA meeting today because I was hoping what I had to say would help these two first day ladies. I felt like I was convulsing as I spoke but somehow the words found me. I got a huge round of approval from the whole group and then I sat there shaking. Then I had to pee. Lol.
I'll take the advice and give it time. I am so used to doing what JEN wants to do. Stepping out of my comfort zone, I believe, is a huge step in my healing. JENS way wasn't working. So I am allowing the universe, creator, god...whatever you want to call it, to take over.

Jennifer

Conquest

I hear ya, Jen! I am learning to go with it when things don't go my way. (Sloooowly learning)

My plans for an awesome afternoon have turned into a bit of a nightmare. My dentist referred me to an oral surgeon, never a good sign. Instead of going to the park, I'm heading for a second appointment to be poked and prodded again. I held it together in the office, but it all came out in the car... New sobriety, family probz, work stress, you name it. My Achilles heal is apparently located in my mouth.

Now I just want a nap, but I've got to go to that appointment and face the music. It'll be better for me in the long run if I do. But the spoiled brat inside me just wants to forget it and do something, anything else to make it all go away. Why can't life always go MY way?! LOL

Theme song of the day, click here

And P.S. ... Surprise!!! Y'all get to go too!! I'm taking this ipad and my SR friends with me! Haha

Briar

Good luck Conquest! That's no fun at all, but it's worth it if it keeps you healthy.

Great job Jen! I always go to my LifeRing meetings thinking I have nothing to say, but when I start talking I end up having great conversations with people, and it lets them know what's going on with me so they can give me advice. Last week I was a soggy crying mess, but I talked anyway, and they were very kind and supportive. It really does help.

phoebe64

Oh, Conquest, I hear you on the dental woes. I was phobic and did not go for years. I do go now, but have had to cancel a filling twice now. Once because I was sick and then, because I had to bring my son to the doc for his broken wrist. That was about 6 weeks ago or so, and I have not rescheduled. Just don't feel in any particular rush to sign up for that!

venuscat

Another awesome song Conquest! Thank you...no idea how you do that click here thing...very impressive.

Sorry about your toothies.
I hope the oral surgeon is kind and gentle.
We are sitting in the waiting room love...

You have all been so wonderful to me...I am OK.
Nothing changes if nothing changes indeed...so onwards.

Appt with addiction counsellor Monday morning, and surgeon Monday afternoon.

This is my quote for the day. Love it JL. So happy for you.

I'm still terrible at answering everyone...lots of brain splat today.

So love and good morning to everyone,

V xx

venuscat

Yes Jen...great job love. And you too Briar...we are really kicking some goals, don't you think?

venuscat

ChickChick

How is your little one???

ClubMedGrad

I've been working on finding a job (got one today) and working on blankets for Christmas presents.

Still sober, feeling okay about it, but I'm going to get some counselling anyway. I really don't feel the desire to drink, but I think that means I have to remain all that much more vigilant.

Today was day 41.

Hope you're all well.

venuscat

(double post dramas....)

venuscat

hmmm...my post went poof!

Hello ClubMedGrad

41 days is awesome ~ and I agree that some counselling can help us.
I have an appt next Monday.

V xx

ironwoman

Conquest - I am totally feeling you. I feel like I'm just starting to live now. At 38. My life is finally starting to look like what I want. I'm so grateful today. Grateful for a good meeting, 40 days without hangovers, an improving personal and professional life. I'm doing my first 50-mile run this weekend, and, unlike the ironman a couple months ago, I won't have consumed 10 oz of vodka the night before.

A cleaning person at my job put her OJ-in-a-water-bottle down on the sink while she went to the bathroom. It was almost instinctive to open the bottle and smell for vodka. I've never met the woman, and I was reaching for her bottle. Just to see what it contained.

i didn't grab the bottle, but I was pretty jarred that my reaction was to smell it.

Day 40.

Briar

Ironwoman - I do that too, I wonder what's really in every water and soda bottle I see. I carried a water bottle with me everywhere, and it wasn't water. It was straight vodka.

ironwoman

Briar - It was weird seeing Denzel Washington drink vodka out of a sports bottle in Flight. I thought that was my invention - ha!

Conquest

Ironwoman, 50 miles?! That's seriously impressive. Wow! I hope the weather is good for ya.

Thanks for holding my hand at the dentist appointments everybody. It all went fine. (Why do I wait until there's an issue to take care of this stuff?!)

Once I knew my original afternoon plans were foiled, I immediately started thinking of how I would handle that "need to reward myself feeling" afterwards. So I packed a Perrier and a couple of mini York peppermint candies in my bag for the ride home. Then I hissed at the liquor stores as I drove along. Lol

Scoreboard, team SR! I'm now home and ready for bed.

What a wacky, excellent, sober day. Big hugs all around!

ChickChick

Much better, thanks for asking. We are all healthy at the moment. I'm willing it to stay that way at least through thanksgiving.

tiredofme

Ironwoman 50 miles I have no words just wow very impressed.

Conquest glad everything went OK at the dentist.

All quiet here liking my new routine confidence still fragile so trying to avoid any unnecessary stress for now. Really tired today think the long term heavy drinking has taken its toll I need lots of sleep at the moment might be a paws symptom I think feeling at times like I am getting over a serious illness. I need space and rest any change to this makes me a bit grumpy lol so today I need to learn to let little annoying things wash over me grr.

venuscat

(((tiredofme))) ♥♥

I was wondering when it might be the right time for us to start talking about PAWS.
So glad you mentioned it love.
I think it is really good to be mindful of all that we are going through in early recovery.
I like this site a lot:
Post-Acute Withdrawal Symptoms - Relapse Prevention Strategies

Someone on SR gave me the link a while back...wouldn't at all be surprised if it was Dee.

Dee74

It wasn't me as that sites also advertising a book, so I had to delink it V.
Anyone wanting it can PM you tho

this link has much of the same material:
PAWS | Digital Dharma

D