Grateful11

]

BBF - thanks for your honesty - that takes so much courage ... not 50 days down the drain...you learned something and benefitted from those 50 days...just start again but you are not starting from the same point, you are much further ahead. You can do this BBF!

determined99

Blackbird, the thing to think about is not being sorry but simply doing what it takes to get right back up and back on track. Please do not let it go more than a brief slip. We got you, nothing to be sorry about, we have all been there countless times!

Apple, you are my sober date twin, pleeaase play the tape, this will pass! Something sweet and just a few minutes alone simply breathing can help tremendously..

Dee74

what happened BBF?

D

Grateful11

Hope you are feeling better KNB. You are amazing; he is not. Say good riddance and move on girlfriend. There is someone better for you out there.

Hugs and love.

Grateful11

(((Applekat))) - you ok? I'm here if you want to talk.

bblackbirdflyy

Not sure what happened dee. I think I was feeling lonely. I made a conscious decision to buy beer. I didn't even want to buy sone... and you were all on my mind ... I bought 2 tall boys and a 6 pack. So that when my boyfriend got home he'd only see me on the 6 pack. I'm so sorry... again.

bblackbirdflyy

Thought that I could stop at the tall boys we all know I can't.

Dee74

No need to be sorry. Nuthin I didn't do a million times

I think hanging out here is way better for loneliness though?

D

bblackbirdflyy

I think really I want my boyfriend to tell me he likes me better sober. Want the relationship to be more than copestic.
The only People that give a damn about my sobriety are me and SR

rah555

Blackbird, it's not 50 days down the drain. This is a journey. For 50 days you did the right things made the right choices. Don't let this slip throw u off completely. If anything is down the drain it's just the small amount of time you spent drinking today. In the last 50 days that time is just itty bitty. Focus on the positive and try to stop this slip. I have a tendency to focus on my mistakes instead of celebrating my successes. Think about all the good things you've done and can do!

bblackbirdflyy

Thank you rah thank you dee

rah555

I know it's hard keeping the right perspective. When I look back at the last four years I focus on the times I overdid it with my drinking. In the grand scheme of things there were plenty more days where I didn't drink or didn't over do it. So why is it that the times I messed up stick in my mind more than the times I didn't? This type of thinking seems to come so easy. I find I have to really put effort into changing my focus to the positive things.

Ultramarathoner

I'm thinking of you BBF and wishing you the best. Be proud of your accomplishment, embrace the learnings, and continue to pursue your goal!

bblackbirdflyy

Rah. I was so proud of myself. Today was a huge milestone and I blew it. Kate can either slip into a drunken depression or she can take this into perspective. I'm in recovery. The last 50 days have been great. I will not let this day stop me... i won't quit quitting. .

Applekat

ATeam. Thank you all. So glad I posted first. I texted hubby to please bring home some ice cream. Anyway, I'm making it through tonight. Finishing out day 45 I believe. I can't really fathom day 46 right now.

I feel like I'm in a rut of doing so much better without the drink but still not amazing. I feel like with all this hard work I should feel stellar. Most days I know it's not that easy and quick but today was just a really, really off day. It happens. I can't believe I'm fighting through it though. We all are. Relapses or not, when we come back to SR we are still fighting the good fight.

BBF I'm sorry that happened. You know the 50 days aren't a waste though. It was 50 days of your body and mind recuperating. Clear your head and heart and move forward. I do hear what you're saying though. Big hugs girl.

bblackbirdflyy

Dee... A million times thank you. Strange That someone half a world away can be such a constant positive influence in my life. Thank you. ♡

Ultramarathoner

Great Work Applekat!

Applekat

Besides ice cream and SR, I also picked up a book - "Ice and a Slice" - and honed in on one section in particular describing a woman experiencing the wine euphoria (but not) after a few glasses - she sounded loony - that quickly followed after a few more glasses with nausea and spinning and sickness, and later - morning regret and a day long hangover. And of course another glass in her hand by 9 the next night.

My stomach swirled just re-living it through this woman's idiotic and regrettable drunken night. Sigh.

How ya doing BBF?

Applekat

Because I'm pretty sure if I had opened a bottle
I would have had it all. And it would have affected me badly and I would be a drunken mess. Just like that woman in the book.

I saw so many references on FB today (in particular) to mommy wine time and jokes about needing a glass with lunch bc of their kids. Ugh!

Dee74

anytime BBF

you will feel stellar applekat...but it can take a while. I think most of us really underestimate how much damage we do to body and mind while drinking?

try and be patient

D