One Year & Under Club Part 34
Member
Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: CA
Posts: 2,977
Sober1ck glad your back, stick around!
Gilmer enjoy your dinner party tonight.
Sparky I just kinda wanted to see what level of pain I'm truly at without medication. I did get back on it today bc it's too uncomfortable for me still. Recheck tomorrow morning tho with the doctor.
North thanks for sharing. I certainly could relate to your post and I sometimes get stuck thinking about past events wishing I could somehow change them.
Work flew by. Back a little more sore then past days. I guess I had this idea in my head that like after a week I would be feeling fine again but i am starting to realize this is gonna be kinda a long process.
Gilmer enjoy your dinner party tonight.
Sparky I just kinda wanted to see what level of pain I'm truly at without medication. I did get back on it today bc it's too uncomfortable for me still. Recheck tomorrow morning tho with the doctor.
North thanks for sharing. I certainly could relate to your post and I sometimes get stuck thinking about past events wishing I could somehow change them.
Work flew by. Back a little more sore then past days. I guess I had this idea in my head that like after a week I would be feeling fine again but i am starting to realize this is gonna be kinda a long process.
Guest
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: Ashburn, VA
Posts: 30,196
((((Sober1ck))))
Sparky, I like your concept of the 5 and 5. I think that's spot-on. My husband is definitely in the top 5% of entertaining. I like the unfolded product, but sometimes, as the saying goes, you don't want to see how the sausage is made! High stress in the hours leading up to the arrival of guests.
Even though I am not in the top 5% of most things, I do endeavor to give my very best to whatever I do. It is good for me, and I consider it a humble offering to God.
Sparky, I like your concept of the 5 and 5. I think that's spot-on. My husband is definitely in the top 5% of entertaining. I like the unfolded product, but sometimes, as the saying goes, you don't want to see how the sausage is made! High stress in the hours leading up to the arrival of guests.
Even though I am not in the top 5% of most things, I do endeavor to give my very best to whatever I do. It is good for me, and I consider it a humble offering to God.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: PA and Florida
Posts: 4,186
((NO49)), so glad to be on this joiurney with you!
SC1, welcome back!
DG, congrats on the year totally clean and sober!!! You soooo ROCK!!!
Well, it is Friday...FORE!!!
Have a good one, Undies. Hey, keep it clean and sober!!
Carlos xx
SC1, welcome back!
DG, congrats on the year totally clean and sober!!! You soooo ROCK!!!
Well, it is Friday...FORE!!!
Have a good one, Undies. Hey, keep it clean and sober!!
Carlos xx
Living and Loving Life at Last
Join Date: Aug 2012
Location: gods own country
Posts: 12,175
(((North)))
(((Rick)))
DG congratulations sweetie on 1 year clean on everything. I know how much this day means to you. Xx
BF I hope you are a ell enough to exercise soon. The thing about a personal trainer, is that they can make sure you are doing everything right, which unless you have a full mirror in your work out room, you can't always see for yourself. At worst you could do more harm than good bending wrongly, or just not be using the right muscles group. It is a worthwhile investment and doesn't take too many sessions. ( unless of course you get a cute guy!)
Sparky, I always tell my dad 2 ears one mouth, you should listen twice as much as you speak. Well, I would... If he ever shut up long enough to hear me!
Hugs to everyone. Xx
(((Rick)))
DG congratulations sweetie on 1 year clean on everything. I know how much this day means to you. Xx
BF I hope you are a ell enough to exercise soon. The thing about a personal trainer, is that they can make sure you are doing everything right, which unless you have a full mirror in your work out room, you can't always see for yourself. At worst you could do more harm than good bending wrongly, or just not be using the right muscles group. It is a worthwhile investment and doesn't take too many sessions. ( unless of course you get a cute guy!)
Sparky, I always tell my dad 2 ears one mouth, you should listen twice as much as you speak. Well, I would... If he ever shut up long enough to hear me!
Hugs to everyone. Xx
Member
Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: CA
Posts: 2,977
Toots lol about the cute guy comment! So true.
On my way to the do too before work this morning. Hoping this doctor will be better then the last and have some answers or advice as well for me.
Hope everyone has a good day!
On my way to the do too before work this morning. Hoping this doctor will be better then the last and have some answers or advice as well for me.
Hope everyone has a good day!
Member
Join Date: Apr 2013
Posts: 5,439
Sparky- I think recognizing that kids need to be bored sometimes is really awesome. I totally agree that it forces them to use their imaginations and find way to entertain themselves.
North- I think you've got a great perspective on prayer. I don't pray often, but when I do, it's almost always "God, help me to...". I know I can ask for strength to do what I need to, but he's not going to do it for me. Your post really describes a lot of stuff that hit me in the early months too. It takes some time to process and accept our drinking past and then move forward from it.
North- I think you've got a great perspective on prayer. I don't pray often, but when I do, it's almost always "God, help me to...". I know I can ask for strength to do what I need to, but he's not going to do it for me. Your post really describes a lot of stuff that hit me in the early months too. It takes some time to process and accept our drinking past and then move forward from it.
Working-cl*** pseudo tough
Join Date: Jul 2014
Location: Manitoba, Canada
Posts: 485
Well, hello everyone.
Watched a football game last night with the wife out (wow, talk about a time to DRINK!), and ate ice cream and drank Pepsi after overeating at dinner.
Mr. AV didn't even try to poke his head up. Awesome.
Hope everyone has a great day and weekend if I don't pop back in.
Watched a football game last night with the wife out (wow, talk about a time to DRINK!), and ate ice cream and drank Pepsi after overeating at dinner.
Mr. AV didn't even try to poke his head up. Awesome.
Hope everyone has a great day and weekend if I don't pop back in.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: New England, USA
Posts: 3,958
Sparky - Bored kids! As a parent and a childcare provider, I could go on and on about this topic for days. I also spend a great deal of time on the sidelines at youth sports. I feel that children need to have age appropriate opportunities to explore different activities. Ballet lessons or soccer camp at age 3 - that's just herding children so mom and dad can take a break. At very young ages children should be exploring the qualities of mud, rain, sky, and grass; testing and exceeding their limits on the swings and climbing bars; putting paint, crayons, and glue on objects and seeing what happens; filling and dumping water in cups, bowls, and pans; making truck tracks in dirt; throwing and chasing a ball; watching the way birds, bugs, and people move in their environments. And if adults give them space, they will develop positive coping mechanisms to pass the time.
I've talked extensively throughout my recovery about my detachment from the social ladder in my community. The stepford parents that you referred to upthread are in competition with each other from the time their babies are in utereo to give their children "the best" childcare and "the most enriching" extracurricular activities. As the children grow, the parents' competition turns to whose children are the best at any given activity. At the elementary school age, I see kids who play only one sport year round - if Johnny is good at baseball he plays summer ball, then fall ball, then an indoor league 45 minutes away in the winter, plus private lessons, just so he can make the A team in regular season. Plus, these kids are also in scouts, practicing an instrument, excelling academically, and behaving well.
Meanwhile, I can barely get my kids to stop hitting each other in the back seat of the car. I will admit to feeling inferior from time to time to Johnny's parents, whose focus, dedication and determination have made Johnny's performance outshine my kids', especially when they have a less than stellar performance on the field, in the classroom or on the playground.
It's not healthy to be enmeshed in another person's consequences. I can't support my children's growth after they experience a disappointment if I'm wrapped up in their shame. And my children can't learn if I don't give them opportunities to try new things or fail. In recovery I'm learning to detach, to let go of my kids' challenging or embarrassing behavior.
Have a good day!
I've talked extensively throughout my recovery about my detachment from the social ladder in my community. The stepford parents that you referred to upthread are in competition with each other from the time their babies are in utereo to give their children "the best" childcare and "the most enriching" extracurricular activities. As the children grow, the parents' competition turns to whose children are the best at any given activity. At the elementary school age, I see kids who play only one sport year round - if Johnny is good at baseball he plays summer ball, then fall ball, then an indoor league 45 minutes away in the winter, plus private lessons, just so he can make the A team in regular season. Plus, these kids are also in scouts, practicing an instrument, excelling academically, and behaving well.
Meanwhile, I can barely get my kids to stop hitting each other in the back seat of the car. I will admit to feeling inferior from time to time to Johnny's parents, whose focus, dedication and determination have made Johnny's performance outshine my kids', especially when they have a less than stellar performance on the field, in the classroom or on the playground.
It's not healthy to be enmeshed in another person's consequences. I can't support my children's growth after they experience a disappointment if I'm wrapped up in their shame. And my children can't learn if I don't give them opportunities to try new things or fail. In recovery I'm learning to detach, to let go of my kids' challenging or embarrassing behavior.
Have a good day!
Member
Join Date: Jun 2014
Location: AB, Canada
Posts: 299
Hi all! Just a quick check in to say that I woke this morning with a sober clear mind! Thanks for letting me vent! Things happened yesterday that let my anger flare, my mind said drink or vent, I opted for the latter and am so glad I did! It was without a doubt, my first real trigger, and I got through it because of you guys!!! We all know how tough this road is, trying to do it alone would be impossible! Thanks again for keeping my sobriety intact!!!
Member
Join Date: Jun 2014
Location: AB, Canada
Posts: 299
Well Gilmer, you guys should take all the credit! I have no problem giving credit where credit is due! Without all of you, I'd probably still be drinking right now instead of working on my shed with a cold water and clear mind!!
Working-cl*** pseudo tough
Join Date: Jul 2014
Location: Manitoba, Canada
Posts: 485
Originally Posted by gleefan 
Sparky - Bored kids! As a parent and a childcare provider, I could go on and on about this topic for days. I also spend a great deal of time on the sidelines at youth sports. I feel that children need to have age appropriate opportunities to explore different activities. Ballet lessons or soccer camp at age 3 - that's just herding children so mom and dad can take a break. At very young ages children should be exploring the qualities of mud, rain, sky, and grass; testing and exceeding their limits on the swings and climbing bars; putting paint, crayons, and glue on objects and seeing what happens; filling and dumping water in cups, bowls, and pans; making truck tracks in dirt; throwing and chasing a ball; watching the way birds, bugs, and people move in their environments. And if adults give them space, they will develop positive coping mechanisms to pass the time.
I've talked extensively throughout my recovery about my detachment from the social ladder in my community. The stepford parents that you referred to upthread are in competition with each other from the time their babies are in utereo to give their children "the best" childcare and "the most enriching" extracurricular activities. As the children grow, the parents' competition turns to whose children are the best at any given activity. At the elementary school age, I see kids who play only one sport year round - if Johnny is good at baseball he plays summer ball, then fall ball, then an indoor league 45 minutes away in the winter, plus private lessons, just so he can make the A team in regular season. Plus, these kids are also in scouts, practicing an instrument, excelling academically, and behaving well.
Meanwhile, I can barely get my kids to stop hitting each other in the back seat of the car. I will admit to feeling inferior from time to time to Johnny's parents, whose focus, dedication and determination have made Johnny's performance outshine my kids', especially when they have a less than stellar performance on the field, in the classroom or on the playground.
It's not healthy to be enmeshed in another person's consequences. I can't support my children's growth after they experience a disappointment if I'm wrapped up in their shame. And my children can't learn if I don't give them opportunities to try new things or fail. In recovery I'm learning to detach, to let go of my kids' challenging or embarrassing behavior.
Have a good day!
I've talked extensively throughout my recovery about my detachment from the social ladder in my community. The stepford parents that you referred to upthread are in competition with each other from the time their babies are in utereo to give their children "the best" childcare and "the most enriching" extracurricular activities. As the children grow, the parents' competition turns to whose children are the best at any given activity. At the elementary school age, I see kids who play only one sport year round - if Johnny is good at baseball he plays summer ball, then fall ball, then an indoor league 45 minutes away in the winter, plus private lessons, just so he can make the A team in regular season. Plus, these kids are also in scouts, practicing an instrument, excelling academically, and behaving well.
Meanwhile, I can barely get my kids to stop hitting each other in the back seat of the car. I will admit to feeling inferior from time to time to Johnny's parents, whose focus, dedication and determination have made Johnny's performance outshine my kids', especially when they have a less than stellar performance on the field, in the classroom or on the playground.
It's not healthy to be enmeshed in another person's consequences. I can't support my children's growth after they experience a disappointment if I'm wrapped up in their shame. And my children can't learn if I don't give them opportunities to try new things or fail. In recovery I'm learning to detach, to let go of my kids' challenging or embarrassing behavior.
Have a good day!
I had my own childhood - no need to relive it or improve on it through my kids.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: New England, USA
Posts: 3,958
Sober1ck - It was hard to get honest with myself, to see how hot of a mess I had become, in order to finally stop drinking. I think it's a huge step forward to see that drinking isn't working for you. We're here for you as you make you way on this journey.
No49 - I find that getting my feelings sorted in print helps me get out of the sense of discomfort and into logical, problem solving mode. After I started taking inventory of my life, I began to feel awful about some of the choices I've made, the people I've hurt, the time I've wasted. We can't change the past, North. You're in AA; amends, if warranted and safe, will come when the time is right. In the mean time, I'm learning to feel grateful for the lessons I can learn from my past. I've always thought I was fairly open minded, but forgiving myself has made me a lot less judgmental, and is opening my mind to infinitely more peace, acceptance, and joy. Good things can come from pain.
BoozeFree - I fell on my back a few summers ago while working out in my basement. I wish I knew then what I know now -- that it is ok to start from square one, that strength and stamina will return, and that patience is key. Last Fall I hurt my heel and instead of rest it, I worried that I would lose my stamina again. I continued to pound on it, ultimately rendering me more immobile than if I had just rested it for a week. I (hope I) learned my lesson!
Sparky - My kids are 10 and almost 8. Already I am seeing the excellent, perfect preschoolers whose parents have parented them into frenzied elementary schoolers! My older son has high functioning autism/adhd, and was often left out of play dates at the preschool age due to his challenges socializing - he preferred to play on his own. Now, many of those parents' kids are getting help from the school social worker right next to him.
No49 - I find that getting my feelings sorted in print helps me get out of the sense of discomfort and into logical, problem solving mode. After I started taking inventory of my life, I began to feel awful about some of the choices I've made, the people I've hurt, the time I've wasted. We can't change the past, North. You're in AA; amends, if warranted and safe, will come when the time is right. In the mean time, I'm learning to feel grateful for the lessons I can learn from my past. I've always thought I was fairly open minded, but forgiving myself has made me a lot less judgmental, and is opening my mind to infinitely more peace, acceptance, and joy. Good things can come from pain.
BoozeFree - I fell on my back a few summers ago while working out in my basement. I wish I knew then what I know now -- that it is ok to start from square one, that strength and stamina will return, and that patience is key. Last Fall I hurt my heel and instead of rest it, I worried that I would lose my stamina again. I continued to pound on it, ultimately rendering me more immobile than if I had just rested it for a week. I (hope I) learned my lesson!
Sparky - My kids are 10 and almost 8. Already I am seeing the excellent, perfect preschoolers whose parents have parented them into frenzied elementary schoolers! My older son has high functioning autism/adhd, and was often left out of play dates at the preschool age due to his challenges socializing - he preferred to play on his own. Now, many of those parents' kids are getting help from the school social worker right next to him.
p***enger
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: NYC
Posts: 19,059
Hi everyone -- just checking in to wish everyone well.
Sober1ck, it's good to see you back. Post here often, that's my advice!
Sparky, it looks like you're one of the gang now -- that's wonderful!
Gleefan, I love the way you use SR to work through your thoughts and feelings. You always seem to rise to a better and better place, and it's an honor to read along with your process and share in it a little.
Northof49, as a major thread-hog and unashamed venter, I'm glad the Undies helped you!
Boozefree, take care not to push too hard & strain your back more.
I'm well -- I haven't been on this thread as often lately but it's not because of any problems. Just busy, heigh-ho, at work and on recovery. Trying to re-learn some things I'd forgotten. Real life is a lot of work, but I highly recommend it over the alternative!
Dorothy, Toots, DG, Drake, Gilmer, Elseware, Tanja, Siesta, Trachemys, Carlos & all -- I wish you all the best of gifts -- continued sobriety!
:
Sober1ck, it's good to see you back. Post here often, that's my advice!
Sparky, it looks like you're one of the gang now -- that's wonderful!
Gleefan, I love the way you use SR to work through your thoughts and feelings. You always seem to rise to a better and better place, and it's an honor to read along with your process and share in it a little.
Northof49, as a major thread-hog and unashamed venter, I'm glad the Undies helped you!
Boozefree, take care not to push too hard & strain your back more.
I'm well -- I haven't been on this thread as often lately but it's not because of any problems. Just busy, heigh-ho, at work and on recovery. Trying to re-learn some things I'd forgotten. Real life is a lot of work, but I highly recommend it over the alternative!
Dorothy, Toots, DG, Drake, Gilmer, Elseware, Tanja, Siesta, Trachemys, Carlos & all -- I wish you all the best of gifts -- continued sobriety!
:
Member
Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: CA
Posts: 2,977
Gilmer sorry to hear you're having an off day. Hoping tomorrow is Better!
Courage awesome avatar. Love talking heads!
So went to the doctor. Basically said it's gonna take awhile to heal and have some ibuprofen for the pain. Today at work was not too fun. I had a client literally screaming on the phone at me bc my co worker failed to have my boss call before she left. I kept apologizing for the lack of communication and there was just no getting thru to her and was really shook up after that. Especially bc the client is one who is always so nice and thanking me for all my help so wasn't expecting the anger at all. And my co worker that messed up had already left for the day.
Tomorrow is 30 days sober. Pretty stoked about that.
Courage awesome avatar. Love talking heads!
So went to the doctor. Basically said it's gonna take awhile to heal and have some ibuprofen for the pain. Today at work was not too fun. I had a client literally screaming on the phone at me bc my co worker failed to have my boss call before she left. I kept apologizing for the lack of communication and there was just no getting thru to her and was really shook up after that. Especially bc the client is one who is always so nice and thanking me for all my help so wasn't expecting the anger at all. And my co worker that messed up had already left for the day.
Tomorrow is 30 days sober. Pretty stoked about that.
30 days is great, CONGRATS BF!! 
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